


Redolence

by MellowChibi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha Iwaizumi Hajime, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Attempted Sexual Assault, Childhood Friends, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oikawa Being Gross, Omega Oikawa Tooru, Omegaverse, Scenting, Slow Burn, nothing actually happens though, scent addiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:47:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 90,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23326480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MellowChibi/pseuds/MellowChibi
Summary: “Then why does it smell like you?” Iwaizumi asks and Oikawa flinches because he knows the answer to that all too well. It smells like him because Oikawa got himself off on multiple occasions with his nose buried in the sweaty fabric and with Iwaizumi’s name on his lips.___A recollection of how a single mistake from when they were younger would come to shape the rest of Oikawa’s life.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 917
Kudos: 1695
Collections: Iwaoi





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just something I decided to write for my boy Arin’s birthday, attempting to get as many of the things I know he likes in there and this is the result.
> 
> Honestly it was just supposed to be something short and cute but once I started I couldn’t stop and it all ended up spinning out of control and here we are, just don’t ask me how because frankly I have no idea.
> 
> Anyway, happy birthday Arin, I love you the mostest-est.

If Oikawa has to put a face on when all of his problem first had started he would probably say it was back when he was still nothing but a little pup and this cute little alphan girl that used to live further down the street and that he and Iwaizumi sometimes played together with every now and then had given him a teddy bear for his birthday.

It had been a dark brown and just so  _ fluffy _ , not to mention the perfect size for Oikawa to hug tightly against his chest and he had thanked her profoundly, not even noticing the slight flush that painted her cheeks pink as he buried his head into it’s fur with a happy little noise.

“Aren’t you too old for that shit?” Oikawa remembers that Iwaizumi had grunted out afterward when they were alone in his room that evening, their stomachs full of birthday cake and snacks because even if it happened to be a Tuesday it was still his birthday.

Oikawa had still been hugging the bear closely even hours later. He just couldn’t help it, it was just so soft and so much nicer than all his other toys that he just hadn’t been able to let it go for even a moment.

Oikawa remembers that he had pouted widely and then promptly shoved the stuffie in Iwaizumi’s face, trying to get his friend to understand what he was missing out on but the only thing he had managed to accomplish had been Iwaizumi cursing under his breath and the alpha’s mood souring even further before his friend had pushed him to the floor.

“Don’t put shit like that in my face shittykawa,” Iwaizumi had hissed out at him with an angry scoff on his face as he towered above him and Oikawa quickly hugged the stuffie tightly in case Iwaizumi would try and take it from him. Instead the alpha’s hands had fisted at his sides as he glared down at him from where he had been standing.

“Especially not when it has Mika’s damn scent all over it, it’s gross.”

Oikawa’s eyes had widened a bit at that, and then he remembers having lifted the thing up to his face and taking a whiff of his own only to realize that the teddy bear did in fact smell like their friend, however faintly and he had hummed as the lingering smell of pumpkin and verbena reached his nostrils.

“I like Mika’s scent though,” Oikawa had said cheerfully as he pressed the bear close to his chest once more. “It reminds me of all the fun we had today, so that just makes her present even better, doesn’t it Iwa-chan?”

That had apparently been the wrong thing to say though, because it had just pissed off Iwaizumi further and then there had been an impromptu wrestling match over the poor teddy bear in the middle of Oikawa’s floor that didn’t get broken up until his mother had had enough of their shouting and angry yelling and had ripped his door open before telling them off and declaring that it was getting late and this was as a good time as any for Iwaizumi to head home.

They had both begrudgingly agreed, Oikawa pushing off the floor and heading for the bathroom while Iwaizumi got his stuff ready and then Oikawa had followed him through the garden before they had said their goodbye’s by the gate of his house and Oikawa had watched Iwaizumi’s back cross the street and head into the alpha’s own house without his friend having as much as bothered to turn around and give him a wave as Iwaizumi normally did.

That in turn had just pissed Oikawa off even further and he remembers having stomped back into his own house with an angry expression on his face that had just made his mother roll her eyes at him.

After all, it was far from the first time he and Iwaizumi had fought and they all knew that it most likely wouldn’t be the last either. Oikawa also still kind of really liked his friend even if he was grumpy and mean to him all the time.

It wasn’t before later that evening when Oikawa was about to go to bed and he almost steps on the teddy bear that had been tossed aside, momentarily forgotten on the floor during their earlier scuffle that the omega suddenly remembers that the stuffie is a thing that existed and it immediately made his mood brighten once again. He bends down and eagerly picks it up from the floor only to pause when he is holding it only inches from his face.

It doesn’t smell like Mika anymore.

In fact the thing is positively reeking of Iwaizumi’s scent instead, strong and potent and more familiar than the omega cares to admit and Oikawa scrunches his little nose at it because he and Iwaizumi are still technically fighting and definitely not friends, and now Iwaizumi had gone and ruined his birthday present by getting his stupid scent all over the plushie when they had been rolling around on the floor and fighting over it earlier.

It wasn’t fair and Oikawa pointedly refused to let Iwaizumi’s stinkiness ruin the fluffy thing for him, stubbornly pressing the thing to his chest and carrying it with him to bed. 

Oikawa doesn’t care that it smells like Iwaizumi because in the end it is Oikawa’s birthday present and he is free to do whatever he wants with it, Iwaizumi be damned. So Oikawa crawls down under his covers and wraps his tiny little arms around the stuffie and tucks it under his chin and he goes to sleep with Iwaizumi’s smell wrapped tightly in his arms.

For some reason in the days that follows that bear quickly becomes his new favorite thing in the whole world.

Oikawa doesn’t really understand  _ why _ , but for some reason he sleeps a lot better than what he normally does when he has the bear tucked up tightly against his chest. There is just something so  _ calming _ about having its fur pressed up against his face and Oikawa quickly realizes that he has an easier time falling asleep, not to mention  _ staying asleep _ if he is hugging it rather than not.

They make up, he and Iwaizumi.

They always do sooner or later and once again Oikawa’s day are spent playing around with Iwaizumi and at night the little omega goes to sleep while hugging the stuffie close to his body, inhaling its scent and remembering every little detail from that days adventures with a small smile tugging on his lips.

It last about another week all in all and then the Oikawa starts to notice the way Iwaizumi’s scent is starting to to fade from it, little at first but as the days drawls on the trails of Iwaizumi ends up leaving the plushie more and more.

At the end of the second week Oikawa finds himself with his nose all but buried in the fabric, the toy pressed so close to his little face that he is almost suffocating just so he can catch the last remaining whiffs of Iwaizumi’s lingering scent.

By the third week it’s all but gone and by the fourth Oikawa is about ready to burst.

Oikawa doesn’t think that he has ever slept as badly in his entire life as he does during week five and six, twisting and turning and never getting more than a few hours at a time at most and he is constantly silently praying that whatever is going on will just pass if he just ignores it and pretends everything is fine hard enough.

Oikawa ends up throwing in the towel by the end of week seven and that weekend he stomps over to Iwa-chan’s house in the early hours of Saturday morning with the teddy tucked safely underneath his arm.

So what if it happens to be the crack ass of dawn, it’s not like Oikawa will be able go get any more sleep that night anyway even if he so stays in bed. 

Iwaizumi’s mother is the one that opens the door for him, but more than raising an eyebrow at him and asking if he wants to eat breakfast together with them later she doesn’t comment on the early hour Oikawa has decided to visit them.

Iwaizumi is still asleep when Oikawa makes it to his friends room, and that just makes Oikawa’s mood sour even further because it’s not fair.

Why does Iwaizumi get to sleep peacefully all night when Oikawa haven’t had a good nights sleep in what feels like years?

The boy huffs loudly and steps into his friends room, closing the door behind him and starts to make his way towards Iwaizumi’s bed, fully intending to wake him up in the awfullest way he can come up with.

He is not completely sure exactly how he is planning to do that yet though, but he is getting there. Maybe by making a loud noise or jumping on top of him-, making himself as heave as he possible can. Maybe he will go back downstairs and ask for a glass of water and pour it all over Iwaizumi’s stupid face.

Oikawa never gets chance to put any of his nefarious plans in action though. In fact he only makes it a few steps into the alpha’s room before the slightly earthy but yet comforting smell of a forest of spruce, full of morning dew hits him straight in the face and Oikawa’s stomping immediately comes to a halt as he pauses and quietly considers the situation in front of him.

Because suddenly Oikawa is so very tired.

Of course he is, he hasn’t really been able to sleep for weeks but for some reason he thinks that if he just gives it another shot right now he might actually pull it off.

So the omega puts his personal vendetta against his friend to the side for now and instead he quietly and ever so carefully lifts the edges of the cover and climbs into Iwaizumi’s bed, his stuffie held closely against his chest and he silently watches Iwaizumi’s sleeping face and the way the shadows plays across it in the dim morning light.

It has been awhile since they had slept together like this when Oikawa thinks about it.

They kind of used to do it ever so often when they were younger, before their scent were starting to become more prominent as they grew up and they both spent an equally amount of time bickering about just how awful the other smelled.

But maybe, just maybe Oikawa is starting to realize that he might just have been a little bit scared of the changes that were starting taking place in their bodies and what that would actually mean for them in the future.

Because as he lays under the covers in Iwaizumi’s bed that morning, his eyelids growing heavier by the second Oikawa finds himself admitting to him elf for maybe the first time in his life that Iwaizumi doesn’t actually smell half bad.

“The hell are you doing?”

The voice is loud and so very annoying and it picks and pulls at his consciousness, drags him out of the comforting nothingness of his sleep and Oikawa huffs and puffs at the gruff voice next to his ear, his brows pulling tightly together and eyes squeezing shut like that would somehow keep him from waking when he has already been stirred.

It doesn’t, and Oikawa heaves a loud sigh before he gives in and reaches up to rub at his eyes with a small hand, yawning as he does before daring to creak one eye open only to come face to face with Iwaizumi.

Oikawa feels himself blinking at that, a word on the tip of his tongue ready to burst free but then he is yawning once more and Oikawa finds himself ending up hugging his stuffie closer to his chest instead and closing his eyes once again.

It’s just so warm and cozy in Iwaizumi’s bed and he never wants to leave.

A creaks open a bleary eye and throws a glance across the room and he thinks that not to much time can have passed between when he first crawled into Iwaizumi’s bed and waking up in it because the rays of the sun are still low and and not yet very bright from where they peak out from between the cracks of Iwaizumi’s curtains.

It can’t have been more than one or two hours Oikawa realizes. Three at best, and yet the omega feels like this is somehow the most amount of sleep he has gotten in years.

“Oi shittykawa, I’m talking to you,” Iwaizumi’s voice calls out to him once more and Oikawa groans in response, a slight pout growing on his lips and he hugs his teddy closer to his chest and tries his best to ignore his friend altogether.

Iwaizumi is having none of it though, the alpha’s rough hands reaching out and starts pulling the covers off of him and Oikawa lets out a displeased noise as he notices, his hands desperately goes scrambling to try and pull it back over his body.

They keep tugging the cover between the two of them for awhile but Oikawa is still just newly awoken and still so very sleepy and in the end Iwaizumi manages to get the upper hand and pull it completely off of him.

Oikawa pouts but he is a big boy and he ends up accepting his coverless fate. Instead he promptly rolls over to his side, turning his back against Iwaizumi with a upset huff.

If Iwa-chan is just going to be mean and awful to him for no reason Oikawa is just going to ignore him and go back to sleep, covers or not.

“The hell?” he hears Iwaizumi say and Oikawa groans loudly because not only is his friend being awful and stealing the cover from him, for once Iwa-chan just can’t seem to shut up either.

“Why the hell did you bring that damn thing with you?” 

Oikawa doesn’t get what Iwaizumi is referring to straight away, so he rolls over in order to face his friend once more, one eye creaking open to look up at the alpha as he hugs the item in question closer to his body.

It’s first then that Oikawa’s brain manages to connect the dots and the boy finds himself looking down at the stuffie that he is currently cradling in his arms with a confused look on his face, his brows furrowing and his small nose scrunching up in thought.

If Oikawa is going to be honest he has no idea as to why he brought the teddy bear with him in the first place. He hadn’t as much as stopped up and even reflected over it when he had stomped out of his house earlier that morning with the bear tucked away underneath his arm.

“Because I like it,” Oikawa ends up saying like that would somehow explain everything and he looks up at his friend just in time to catch the scoff making its way across Iwaizumi’s face and Oikawa feels his pout only growing larger in retaliation.

“…and because it’s cuddly and  _ nice to me _ compared to someone else I know,” the omega adds in for good measure but about the only thing that comment earns him is a roll of Iwaizumi’s eyes from where they are hovering above him.

“It’s a damn  _ teddy bear _ ,” Iwaizumi bites out, green eyes narrowing as he fixes his gaze on Oikawa’s own. “How old are you again?”

“Old enough,” Oikawa bites back stubbornly, his previous sleepy state all but forgotten as their normal bickering starts kicking off despite the early hour. “You are simply just too stupid to appreciate the finer things in life Iwa-chan.”

That seems to get Iwaizumi’s attention and the alpha clicks his tongue and reaches for the teddy bear and Oikawa hisses, tiny hands pushing harshly at Iwaizumi’s chest to stop him and he doesn’t know who moves first, but in one moment they are glaring angry daggers at one another and in the next they are full out wrestling on Iwaizumi’s bed.

Oikawa knows that in the future when they hit puberty their bodies will start to change, their differences in strength only growing further apart. Iwaizumi’s body turning muscular and firm while Oikawa’s own will just get leaner and delicate with time.

He doesn’t mind. Oikawa never wants to become buff (and gruffy) like Iwaizumi will anyway, much preferring to keep being all lean and cute. If anything if he can end up with even half of the elegance his mother carries herself with he will be happy.

But that’s for later.

For now Oikawa is all of two centimeters taller than Iwaizumi and he uses it to his full advantage, hooking his legs over Iwaizumi’s hips and rolling them over until he is straddling him, shoving away rough hands when they reach up for him to try and topple him over and Oikawa does his best to stay in place as his friend bucks underneath him, attempting to throw him off balance.

Ass.

“You should try it Iwa-chan,” he close to yells out with a victorious gleam in his eyes as he reaches for the teddy bear and promptly shoves it against Iwaizumi’s chest just to get his point across. “Maybe if you had something to cuddle you wouldn’t be such a grumpy meanie-butt all the time!”

Iwaizumi’s eyes widen and Oikawa watches as his friend glares down on the stuffie with an evident scoff on his face, his previous attempts to try and escape from underneath Oikawa momentarily forgotten in the face of this new adversary.

Iwaizumi tries to shove the bear off of him but Oikawa is unyielding, putting all the weight of his tiny body behind pressing it further against Iwaizumi’s chest.

They yell and wrestle, shoves and pulls and then Oikawa slips, the bear getting pushed into the crock of Iwaizumi’s neck and the omega curses and tries to push it back to the alpha’s chest while Iwaizumi in turn does his best to try and get the item as far away from him as humanly possible.

The result is a lot of shouting, angry glares and the poor thing rubbing harshly against the skin of Iwaizumi’s neck.

“Cut it the fuck out or I swear to God-“

Both of Oikawa’s and Iwaizumi’s heads jerk to attention as the new voice enters the fray and their gazes lands on Iwaizumi’s elder brother who is standing in the doorway looking newly woken up and all but happy. “Do you have  _ any idea _ what time it is?!”

They wince in unison, Oikawa’s face growing slightly pale because he might not be very scared of Iwa-chan, as grumpy as he is, but his brother is older and so much bigger and while annoying the hell out of Hajime is  _ fun _ , getting on Takeshi’s bad side really isn’t.

“Sorry,” Oikawa murmurs quietly, his eyes lowering and his hands falling away from the stuffie. Iwaizumi doesn’t even attempt to take the opportunity to remove it, instead his friend just lies there and glares angrily up at him like this is somehow all Oikawa’s fault when Oikawa honestly believes that the two of them are just as guilty.

They will need to talk about that later, when Takeshi isn’t standing in Iwaizumi’s doorway looking like he is about three seconds away from murder the two of them in cold blood.

“We will-,” Oikawa starts but Takeshi interrupts him and he feels himself hunching down and trying to appear smaller under the alpha’s burning gaze.

“You will  _ not _ ,” Iwaizumi’s brother says, his voice flat and yet firm and holding no room for argument. “You two shitheads lost your right to second chances when it comes to keeping it down years ago. It’s Saturday and the two of you will get the fuck out of this house until noon at the  _ very least _ and let us normal people get our fucking rest.”

They don’t argue with Iwaizumi’s brother. Instead Oikawa just quietly slides off of Iwaizumi and then the bed and places his small little feet on the floor and he keeps his head lowered while he waits for his friend to join him, listening to the noises of rustling sheets as his Iwaizumi shuffles off the bed and to the floor as well.

Once Iwaizumi is standing up Oikawa immediately hides behind him as if that would somehow protect him from Takeshi’s wrath and he keeps waiting behind the the boy as Iwaizumi gets dressed, wrenching his hands nervously in front of him and absentmindedly playing with the hem of his shirt as Iwaizumi wrings off his own top and steps out of his pants before he wordlessly bends over to pick up some clothes from the floor that he can actually wear outside, an irritated expression on his face and with a clench to his jaw that makes Oikawa wince.

Oikawa hates it when Iwaizumi is mad.

He doesn’t mind  _ normal mad _ , when Iwaizumi is yelling at him and chasing him all over the area they are currently in, spitting curses under his breath and attempting to give him a good whack on top of his head every chance he gets. But there is just something that Oikawa really, really absolutely and utterly  _ hates _ it when Iwaizumi goes quiet-mad like he is now.

There is nothing he can do to try and make it better though, not with Takeshi hovering about and watching over them like a hawk so Oikawa remains quiet, head lowered in both shame and submission and silently trails after his friend once he finishes dressing and leaves his room without another word his hand itching to clutch at at back of his friend’s shirt for support.

“ _ Iwa-chan _ -,” Oikawa whimpers out quietly once they have stepped into their shoes and left through the front door. Iwaizumi doesn’t as much as stop to listen to the rest of the sentence though. Instead the alpha just makes his way across his lawn with a sour expression on his face, shoulders tense and Oikawa whines, a sad and desperate little noise from somewhere low in his throat and tries to keep up as Iwaizumi takes a right once he reaches the road, hands shoved into his shorts and his steps loud and angry against the gravel.

“Iwa-chaaan,” Oikawa tries again and this time he can see the scoff on the alpha’s face even from behind. Sees the way Iwaizumi shoves his hands further into his pockets and clicks his tongue, his steps turning even quicker but at least it’s a reaction because any reaction from his friend is better than him acting like Oikawa doesn’t exist in the first place which Iwaizumi normally does when he gets like this.

Oikawa lets out another noise and then he is half walking, half running until he manages to catch up to the alphan boy and he drapes his arms across his shoulders from behind.

It earns him a curse and Oikawa couldn’t be happier.

“Cut it out,” Iwaizumi hisses, his hands leaving his pockets in favor of reaching up and trying to wrangle Oikawa off of him. The omega is having none of it though, instead making himself as heavy as he possibly can until most of his body is draped across Iwaizumi’s back. “Lazykawa,  _ get off _ .”

Oikawa huffs in response and hugs him tighter, rubs his cheek against his friend shoulder before resting his forehead against Iwaizumi’s much wider back.

“I am sorry Iwa-chan,” he mumbles. “Just  _ please _ -,”

“I had something I wanted to watch this morning,” Iwaizumi bites out and Oikawa freezes at that because Iwaizumi sounds so angry right then, not ‘normal angry’ when he is yelling his lungs out but the cold and emotionless angry that Oikawa just hates.

“We can just see it at my place?” Oikawa offers as a solution but it only makes Iwaizumi click his tongue loudly before trying to jerk his head away from him. “What is it anyway? Kamen Rider is on tomorrow so-”

“It doesn’t matter,” Iwaizumi replies and Oikawa wants to yell at him that he is wrong, that it does matter, especially when Iwaizumi is being all grumpy and dull and awful like this.

“But-”

“I said that it  _ doesn’t matter _ .”

The words are spoken so harshly that they make Oikawa winch and then his arms are falling of Iwaizumi’s back and he takes a small step backwards and then another, his gaze glued to the ground as his arms hangs uselessly at his side.

“I am sorry Iwa-chan, I just…” 

Oikawa doesn’t finish the sentence, doesn’t even know how to finish it in the first place. 

Oikawa had just had yet another shitty nights worth of sleep and he had honestly just wanted Iwaizumi to cheer him up and make him feel better by rolling his eyes and call him out on being overly dramatic in his normal gruff and uncaring Iwaizumi-way but still allowing Oikawa to curl up next to him while Iwaizumi plays a game or watches a movie, rough but gentle hands reaching out to brush away some wayward strands of hair from Oikawa’s face every now and then until he finally manages to fall asleep.

Oikawa likes grumpy and pretending-not-to-care Iwaizumi the most out of the alpha’s different sides.

But instead he had found Iwaizumi asleep, which given the early hour maybe wasn’t that surprisingly and he had somehow ended up crawling into his bed. And then one thing had just lead to another and it really wasn’t Oikawa’s fault that Iwaizumi had said all those mean and awful things about his teddy bear in the first place.

Not completely at least.

“It’s fine,” Iwaizumi huffs out as he shoves his hands back into his pockets and Oikawa raises his head in response, a hopeful little look on his face as his gaze meets Iwaizumi’s own and the alpha pauses for awhile, seemingly scrutinizing him before letting out a huff another huff and turning his head away but Oikawa doesn’t miss the way the alpha’s eyes had softened ever so slightly.

“Come on,” Iwaizumi says under his breath and Oikawa lets out a Happy little squeal before throwing his arms around his friend all over again, earning him a shove and rough knuckles rubbing across the top of his scull and it might mess up his hair something awfully but he takes his punishment with a cheerful smile on his lips.

They spend the rest of the day chasing bugs and as always they are ugly and gross and Oikawa still has no idea what Iwaizumi sees in the disgusting little things even after all these years and Oikawa keeps telling himself that he is having an overall awful time but if that’s what’s needed of him in order to get back on Iwaizumi’s good side he will make do.

They get something to eat at lunch from Oikawa’s mom, not quite ready to face Takeshi once more and then they spend the afternoon sprawled out on the grass in the sun. Iwaizumi is studying his little plastic containers and the bugs inside and Oikawa is curled up next to him in that weird half awake, half asleep state you fall into sometimes because everything is just so nice.

They had managed to catch quite a lot.

Well,  _ Iwaizumi _ had managed to catch quite a lot because Oikawa had mostly stood to the side with his nose scrunched while whining and complaining about the entire thing.

Oikawa did however end up catching Iwaizumi a beetle and it was probably the grossest thing he had done that summer, not including falling into the pond at Makki’s house by mistake two weeks ago.

Iwaizumi had wordlessly put the bug into a container of its own and for some reason that Oikawa couldn’t put his finger on that had made him so very happy, a strange sense of warmth spreading throughout his chest.

Oikawa goes home that evening with a yawn on his face and his teddy bear in his arms and it’s not before he is all tucked into his own bed, freshly showered and his teeth cleanly brushed that he notices that the stuffie once more carries Iwaizumi’s scent.

Oikawa doesn’t even question it.

He just buries his nose into its fur and then promptly falls asleep with a soft little smile tugging on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I forgot to mention it earlier but I am planning to updating this story biweekly for now, so look forward to that I guess?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the love and nice comments you all gave me last chapter. I just hope that I am able to live up to all your expectations from here on out.

The second time Oikawa’s teddy bear ends up getting scented changes everything for the omega. Because now Oikawa is able to kind of connect the dots to one another and he hesitantly comes to the conclusion that the reason that he has been able to sleep so well-, and then hardly at all was perhaps not because of the stuffie itself, but because it smelled like his friend.

The realization is not exactly welcome.

Instead it is uncomfortable and weird and Oikawa spends the following evenings before his bedtime putting it away in all imaginable hiding spots all over his room only to wake up in the morning with it hugged tightly to his chest over and over again, and it is slowly but surely driving him nuts.

Oikawa ends up giving up on his stuffie hiding endeavors a few days later because no matter where he hides it his sleeping self somehow always manages to find it. So it is with a bitter realization that Oikawa resigns himself to his fate for however long the thing is going to smell like his friend because for some reason Oikawa just can’t seem to make himself throw it away either.

And then once the smell is gone Oikawa is making damn sure the bear never gets scented again.

It might take awhile before he can sleep like he used to before this entire ordeal began, to have a full and good nights sleep without the scent of spruce and wet asphalt during summer in his nostrils but Oikawa is sure that if he just gives it time, if he just bites down and stubbornly and  _ prevails _ the issue will sort itself out.

Probably. 

It might take a week or a month, maybe even two but Oikawa is going to put a stop to this thing before it has even begun. 

Or God forbid gets _ worse _ because frankly, it’s kind of weird as it is-, not to mention gross when Oikawa thinks more about it.

That however doesn’t stop Oikawa from allowing himself to enjoy the last few days of Iwaizumi’s scent that he has left.

Because if Oikawa’s current theory is right he is not exactly looking forward to going sleepless once more which he expects might happen if cutting himself off from Iwaizumi’s scent is going to be anything like it was the last time around.

If it’s going to be hard and awful from here on out Oikawa tells himself that he at the very least deserves to have a few good nights of sleep before things hits the fan.

Oikawa takes the bear with him everywhere. He keeps it hugged to his chest when he is snuggled up together with his family in front of the TV. He places it in his lap when he finally starts working on his assigned homework for their summer vacation and at night Oikawa buries his nose so far into its plushness that he almost isn’t able to breath properly, silently praying for the smell to stay attached to it for just awhile longer.

It doesn’t.

And he is miserable throughout it all.

Oikawa is dead set on getting through it though and he somehow makes it work even if his family just  _ won’t leave him alone _ , constantly worrying about his pale complexion and loss of appetite.

Even Iwaizumi informs him that ‘ _ he looks like shit _ ’ before asking him  _ ‘what the hell is wrong with him _ ’ when Oikawa turns him and Mika down the third time that week with yet another weak and halfheartedly excuse about how he feels a bit under the weather and thinks that he would prefer to stay home that day too.

Because Oikawa doesn’t have the energy for much more than aimlessly lounging around in his his house and try to make the time pass just a little bit faster so he can make a new attempt at actually getting some sleep the following night.

Oikawa doesn’t want to deal with anyone, and least of all he doesn’t want to deal with Iwaizumi when he instinctively knows that the alpha could make it all go away if just-

He can’t. He just can’t.

Avoiding the issue kind of works when Oikawa actually doesn’t have to do anything. When he can spend all day draped across the couch and pretend to watch TV to not alert his parents too much. When he can walk around like he is some kind of a zombie and doesn’t have to worry about any real responsibilities.

Sure, it’s awful and horrible and Oikawa is in a constant state of sleep deprivation and he is barely functioning but it _ works _ .

And then school starts up once more and things goes to hell.

It doesn’t work when he has to put on one forced smile after another as his classmates goes on and on forever about what they did that summer while the omega wishes they would just shut up and go away.

It doesn’t work when Oikawa actually needs to focus in class instead of being able to zone out for hours at time in the comfort of his own house.

And it absolutely does  _ not work _ during recess, when all of Oikawa’s fatigue finally catches up to him and comes crashing down on him as the boy is slowly making his way across the schoolyard intending to find somewhere where he can if not lay down, at the very least sit for a moment and catch his breath.

He makes it about halfway across the yard before everything starts spinning and growing hazy at the corners of his vision and Oikawa comes to a staggering stop. He stays there, swaying from side to side and trying to fight down the wave of nausea that has hit him but it only grows more intense by the second and one moment everything grows black and in the other Oikawa is waking up with the scent of spruce surrounding him.

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa mumbles sleepily long before he has even had the chance to even open his eyes. There is the soft sound of the rustling of fabric close by and it puts a smile on his lips.

All Oikawa really wants to do is to sink further into the softness of the covers all around him and with the smell of Iwaizumi encasing him and never having to wake up ever again but he also knows that he can’t.

There is a very familiar looking wall staring back at him once the omega actually manages to creek one eye open and it’s around the same time that Oikawa realizes that he is also wrapped up in equally familiar covers.

Not his, not the ones at the schools infirmary but Iwaizumi’s and Oikawa is not completely sure that he knows what to do with that information.

“Feeling better?” 

Oikawa turns his head to the side, following the voice until his gaze ends up landing on Iwaizumi’s face. The alpha is sitting further up on the the bed, the his back resting against the headboard and with one of their textbooks draped across his lap. 

Iwaizumi’s expression is as flat as always, but Oikawa has known his friend long enough to catch the clench of his jaw and the way Iwaizumi’s brows are furrowed just so in a sign of worry.

It makes him warm.

“Mmm...” he mumbles back because he does feel better. Better than what he has been in what feels like forever and Oikawa closes his eyes and snuggles further into the soft covers and inhales the scent presented to him with a happy little sight.

“Don’t scares me like that idiot,” Iwaizumi huffs out and Oikawa blinks his eyes open once more from where he is nestled up in the bedding. “They took you to the nurse and while she said you were fine and just needed to rest you just wouldn’t wake up. They were going to call your parents.”

Oikawa can’t help the small little whimper that escapes him and he hugs the covers tighter to his body at the thought of having to drag his parents into his mess as well.

It’s not like they would chew him out or anything, but honestly, Oikawa would much prefer them being angry over them worrying about him endlessly. He positively hates people worrying about him, tiptoeing around and acting like he is made out of glass. Especially when the people in question are his family or close friends.

“So you took me home?” Oikawa ends up asking even though the question is kind unnecessary and the roll of the alpha’s eyes tells him as much.

“I can always call them myself if you rather be home,” Iwaizumi huffs out and Oikawa immediately whimpers and pulls the cover up until it is covering the lower half of his face, watching as Iwaizumi lets out an amused snort. 

“Thought so.” 

Oikawa pouts at how easy his friend is able to read him.

Because of course Iwaizumi knew that he rather be here. 

Iwaizumi might be brash and grumpy and easily annoyed. Might have called him an idiot more times than Oikawa cares to count but Iwaizumi has always had his back when it actually counted. Has always been on Oikawa’s side no matter what unless the fight in question is between the two of them.

And of course Iwaizumi knows him well enough to know how much Oikawa utterly detests worry his parents and had taken the matter in his own hands.

It makes Oikawa feel strangely safe and cared for and he he burrows further in the covers, pretending that the scent of Iwaizumi doesn’t make him feel as relaxed as it does.

“She said that you didn’t seem to be getting enough sleep,” Iwaizumi says and Oikawa opens his eyes just in time to see green eyes narrow as they study him, a stern expression plastered on the alpha’s face. “Why?”

Oikawa pursues his lips before pulling the blanket completely over his head because he is not answering that. Not now, not ever.

The click of Iwaizumi’s tongue is muffled by the covers Oikawa is currently hiding under, but he hears it anyway. Sharp and disapproving and then the sheet is pulled away from him and the omega lets out a small shriek, his tiny fingers reaching out for the fabric and desperately trying to get it back.

But Iwaizumi’s grip is like iron and the alpha is not giving as much as an inch no matter how much Oikawa pulls at it and in that moment he positively hates him.

All he wants to do is to be left alone, wants to encase himself in Iwaizumi’s scent and not having to deal with any questions regarding why him wanting that is even a thing in the first place.

“Shittykawa, I  _ swear _ -“

Oikawa just whines in response, a sad and desperately little noise in the back of his throat and there is a loud scoff from the alpha and then Iwaizumi actually gives in, lets the cover fall from his fingers and Oikawa immediately pulls it towards him and wraps himself up in it once more.

“Hold on, are you actually sick?”

Oikawa wants to tell him ‘ _ yes _ ’ because surely there has to be something very wrong with him for all of this to be happening in the first place, but it’s not like he can tell Iwaizumi that so instead he just peeks up at his friend from under the covers and gives a tiny shake of his head.

“Then what?” Iwaizumi presses and Oikawa whines once more but he guess he owes Iwaizumi that much at least so he heaves a soft little sigh before hugging the cover closer to his tiny frame as if that would somehow protect him.

“It’s not a big deal or anything” he starts. “I just have some problems sleeping lately, that’s all,” Oikawa finally admits out loud and it’s easier than he thought it would be because Iwaizumi doesn’t actually seem to be mad at him. Instead Iwaizumi’s brows are furrowing slightly in worry as he watches him and it is making Oikawa feel all warm and tingly inside.

“Why?”

“If I knew why I wouldn’t have a problem with it, now would I Iwa-chan?” Oikawa replies with a huff while he desperately tries to tell himself that what he is saying is not a complete lie.

Oikawa knows why he is having trouble sleeping, has known ever since his teddy bear got scented that second time. He just doesn’t understand  _ why _ that is the case. Doesn’t  _ want to know why _ it’s suddenly close to impossible to fall asleep without having Iwaizumi’s scent against his nose.

For a moment nothing happens and then all of a sudden there is a rough hand in his hair and Oikawa lets out small yelp, his own hands immediately shooting up to try and stop Iwaizumi’s own because Oikawa absolutely hates it when his friend decides to mess up his hair as he does whenever the alpha gets annoyed with him. 

Hates how parts of it will stand up in all possible and impossible directions afterward no matter how much he tries to smooth it back in place and- 

Oh.

_ Oh. _

Iwaizumi isn’t deliberately trying to mess up his hair.

Instead the alpha’s thick fingers are stroking over it, caressing and  _ petting  _ and it’s so nice that Oikawa wants to cry and purr at the same time and he allows himself a soft little sigh before sinking bonelessly into the covers, his eyes fluttering close as Iwaizumi’s fingers moves across his scalp.

It’s so different from when Oikawa’s mother plays with it. Then it’s soft. Small little brushes of fingers against his scalp that Oikawa can barely feel when they are snuggled up together on the couch or in his bed.

Iwaizumi’s touch is rougher, but not in a bad way. There is a small hesitation behind every little stroke Oikawa is given but even then the alpha’s touch is growing surer by the second as the omega is letting out pleased little noises as he starts to turn soft and relaxed underneath Iwaizumi’s hand. 

Compared to Oikawa’s mother Iwaizumi’s touch is steady and firm, just like the boy himself. Comforting. Wordlessly telling Oikawa that he is here and the omega unconsciously finds himself nuzzling into the hand that is stroking him, silently asking his friend for more.

There is a small inhale of breath above him that Oikawa doesn’t even hear because everything is a bit fuzzy and he is so warm and cozy and everything smells just  _ right _ . 

“Sleep.”

And Oikawa does.

The next time Oikawa wakes up Iwaizumi’s room is clad in darkness, the sun no longer visible behind Iwaizumi’s curtains and it takes him awhile longer before the omega can make out his surroundings enough to realize that he is alone.

Oikawa jerks up from the bed at that, the cover falling off of him and pooling around his hips as he blinks around the room. The clock on Iwaizumi’s nightstand tells him that he has been asleep for most of the day and evening too which is honestly the longest uninterrupted sleep he has gotten in weeks.

He feels good. Well rested. But there is an itch of unease settling in the pit of his stomach and he decides to follow it, slipping out of Iwaizumi’s bed and quietly making his way across the floor on his sock clad feet.

Oikawa cracks open the door to Iwaizumi’s room open just a bit and peeks out at the hallways beyond before deciding that there is nothing dangerous lurking around the corner and he steps out into the hallway and makes his way towards the faint noise he can hear in the distance.

“Ah, Tooru-chan,” comes the happy call from Iwaizumi’s mom once Oikawa enters the kitchen and at once there are three other pair of eyes are flickering his way and he averts his own gaze in embarrassment, his fingers moving to play with the hem of his shirt. He has probably caused all of them a lot of troubles by now, hasn’t he?

But to his surprise no one questions his presence or as much as open their mouths to question his presence, Takeshi included. Instead he just gives Oikawa a curt nod before going back to his food and the omega feels himself blinking in confusion.

In fact the only one that really keeps his gaze locked on him for a longer period of time is Iwaizumi, his friend’s brows slightly furrowed and something seemingly unpleasant on his face at he studies him. Oikawa is about to snap at him, ask him what the hell he wants but before he has the chance to there is a soft hand on his shoulder and he flinches in surprise before following it with his eyes until it lands on Hana’s warm and smiling face.

“I am sorry Tooru-chan. I wanted to go and get you myself when you didn’t come down to eat but Hajime kept insisting that you weren’t hungry and that we should just leave you alone,” Hana continues and then she gives Oikawa’s tummy a small pat out of nowhere that makes him pout stubbornly at her. “But I did save you a plate anyway just in case. We both know that you are a growing boy after all, don’t we?”

Hana hums happily before giving him wink, obvious to the way Oikawa is glaring at her as she leads him to the table where the rest of the Iwaizumi's are already sitting down and Oikawa slips into his seat without another word. It’s the guest chair really, but Oikawa has secretly called it his in his head for years by now. 

Hana’s cooking is as amazing as always and Oikawa does not only finish his own plate but even asks for seconds to Iwaizumi’s mothers great delight. He doesn’t normally, but once he has started to eat Oikawa is realizing that he is positively starving-, which perhaps isn’t very surprisingly considering that he hasn’t had an much of an appetite since this entire mess began. 

Oikawa tells himself that it’s just because his body really needs the nutrients and not because he has missed the warmth of Iwaizumi’s family during these last couple of weeks that he has pretty much isolated himself from the outside word. Has missed eating together while all of them banters around with one another in a way that only speaks volumes of how much they actually care about each other. And Oikawa is right there in the middle of it all as Iwaizumi gets chastised and close to bullied by his family over and over again because clearly Oikawa was not ‘ _ not hungry _ ’ as Iwaizumi had claimed him to be.

Iwaizumi just scoffs and replies with some halfhearted excuses as Oikawa pokes around in his food with his head lowered, pretending not to listen in. There is a soft smile tugging on his lips though, and his face feels strangely warm.

Iwaizumi never tells them the real reason as to why he wanted them to leave Oikawa alone even if Oikawa is sure that the alpha could have saved himself a lot of trouble by just telling his family truth. Instead Iwaizumi singlehandedly takes the blame, steadily and unwavering.

And even if it’s something so small and insignificant as lying about Oikawa being asleep all day so Iwaizumi’s mother won’t let it slip to Oikawa’s own by mistake the next time they happen to run into one another it still makes Oikawa feel cared for and so very, very safe.

“I think it might be time for you to start heading home soon, what do you think Tooru-chan?” Hana asks him a few hours later when they are all curled up on the couch together, watching some movie that Oikawa have paid too little attention to to even remember the plot of and he blinks as he turns his gaze towards her.

Oikawa’s eyes have felt a bit droopy and heavy for awhile now, but it has been so nice being here again instead of loitering around aimlessly in his own house. The Iwaizumi’s scents are always so steady and warm and he kind of wants to stay there forever but he also knows that it’s getting late and he ends up giving her a small nod and then a yawn and Hana smiles softly before putting a hand to his hair and messing it up fondly and Oikawa can’t even gather up the energy to be upset with her.

“I am sure Hajime will be happy to walk you home, won’t you dear?”

“Sure, whatever,” Iwaizumi says in his usual flat tone but it still manages to put a smile on Oikawa’s face and he nuzzles further into Hana’s touch. Iwaizumi can pretend to be gruff and uncaring for all he wants but Oikawa knows the truth, now more than ever.

They way Iwaizumi cared for people was always in his actions, blunt as they might be.

“I am just gonna head to the bathroom first. Grab your bag I guess and we will go once I am done,” Iwaizumi says before pushing off the couch and Oikawa nods once more before following suit, letting out another little yawn as he reluctantly stands up and rubs at his eyes with the heel of his hand. His limbs feels heavy and he would really much prefer to crawl back onto the couch or into the covers on Iwaizumi’s bed but Oikawa is a big boy, so he bids the rest of the Iwaizumi's goodnight and thanks them for today before he heads back into Iwaizumi’s room on wobbly little legs.

Oikawa’s schoolbag is just by the end of Iwaizumi’s bed and he grabs it and is just about to head back out as his eyes falls upon a piece of fabric draped across Iwaizumi’s chair.

Suddenly Oikawa doesn’t feel tired anymore.

Oikawa knows that sweater. It’s what Iwaizumi had been wearing that day and before Oikawa knows what he is doing his hand is already reaching out to stroke across it. It’s  _ so soft _ to the touch and he lifts it up like he is in some kind of a trance, his body on autopilot as he brings it up to his face and oh it smells just as good as Iwaizumi’s covers had. 

Maybe not as potent perhaps. Instead it smells crisper, fresher. Like the forest smells in winter when the sun is shining and makes everything warm and bearable even though it is in fact actually below the freezing point outside.

It smells amazing and Oikawa can’t help but think that it is a terrible waste for it to have to go into the laundry and have it all washed away.

He doesn’t realize how much time has passed before Iwaizumi’s voice is bellowing across the hall.

“Oi, shittykawa!”

The yell makes him jolt on the spot and to make matters worse Iwaizumi’s voice is quickly followed by heavy footsteps coming towards him through the corridor and really, Oikawa doesn’t have much of choice but to shove the thing into his bag in pure panic because he will never be able to explain to Iwaizumi what he had been doing if he were to be found standing in the middle of the alpha’s room with his used clothes pressed to his face.

For some reason the thought to just return it to the chair never hit him.

“The hell are you doing?” Iwaizumi asks him as he opens the door with a irritated glare and Oikawa takes a nervous step back, holding his bag with its ill-gotten contents behind his back like that would somehow hide it it from Iwaizumi’s view and for a moment Iwaizumi just stares at him, brows furrowing in confusion before it flickers across his room as if the alpha can somehow sense that something is amiss and Oikawa had to bite back a whine and he desperately holds his breath and curses himself in the back of his mind because he is so very, very stupid.

Another moment passes and at this point Oikawa is just waiting for Iwaizumi to storm over to him, to tear Oikawa’s bag from his hands and throw it’s content out on the floor and yell at him endlessly, the rest of his family rushing to his aid and they will all be so disgusted with him and-

“Come on lazyass, or you are walking home alone.”

Oikawa doesn’t need to be told twice. 

He holds the bag tightly to his chest before darting out of the room and towards the hallway, keeping his head lowered and his fingers clutching at the fabric. Oikawa is positive that he can smell Iwaizumi’s sweater from within the bag, leaking the scent of his friend everywhere and how Iwaizumi doesn’t notice is beyond him because surely he has to.

Or he has and is just so grossed out that he doesn’t know what to say.

“Oi,” comes another yell after him as Oikawa hurriedly tries to step into his shoes. It doesn’t go very well and it’s not before the third try he actually manages to get it right and by then Iwaizumi has already caught up to him once more.

“The hell is going on?” Iwaizumi demands and Oikawa’s head jerks up only to stare straight up into Iwaizumi’s face. The alpha’s eyes are sharp and focused as he glares down at him and Oikawa lets out a whine before shaking his head because nothing is going on. Nothing at all. Oikawa is just gross and awful and if Iwaizumi ever found out he would-

“Did Takeshi do something?”

Oikawa pauses at that, wide eyes looking up at Iwaizumi’s own. There is a furrow in them that Oikawa registers as worry and he shakes his head and just holds his bag closer to his chest.

“Oikawa, spit it out right now or I am going to get mad,” Iwaizumi warns him in a low voice, something close to a growl and Oikawa can do nothing but whimper and lowering his head, his fingers clutching the item harder in response.

“I just... remembered something I had to do tonight,” he manages to get out even though he is sure that Iwaizumi can see straight through it.

Iwaizumi has always had a sixth sense for when he is lying and Oikawa can tell that Iwaizumi has caught on this time as well with how the alpha’s jaw clenches tighly and in the way his mouth opens once before closing on words never spoken and Oikawa feels awful because he knows that there is nothing Iwaizumi hates quite as much as when he lies to him.

For a moment none of them says anything, and then the alpha’s eyes turns into something hard and cold in a blink of an eye.

“Fine,” Iwaizumi says flatly before he turns around on his heels, intending to head back into the house and Oikawa can’t stop the pathetic little noise that makes its way up his throat and he reaches out, his bag falling forgotten to the floor as his fingers grips at the hem of the alpha’s sleeve, stopping the other in his tracks.

“I am sorry,” he whimpers and then Oikawa’s body is moving forward too, his head bending down until his forehead is resting against Iwaizumi’s arm in a sign of submission. “I am sorry Iwa-chan I just- please don’t be mad at me. I-... everything is just such a mess and it is all so confusing and I can’t-”

Oikawa doesn’t realize that he is crying until there is strong arms being wrapped around him. He can feel Iwaizumi stroking across his back idly and it should make him feel worse because this is all happening because Oikawa can’t get the thought of Iwaizumi’s scent out of his damn mind. He just feels so fucking pathetic and awful and out of all people Iwaizumi should be the last person on earth that should have to comfort him about this.

“It’s okay,” Iwaizumi mumbles and Oikawa’s chokes on a sob because it really isn’t okay and he really, really doesn’t deserve Iwaizumi’s unwavering friendship like this, not now, not ever.

And yet he can’t let go.

Once Oikawa’s tears has stopped falling and his hiccups has dissipated Iwaizumi walks him home, Oikawa letting out soft little yawns every now and then as they walk side by side.

When Oikawa is finally back in the safety of his own room he is both too mentally and physically exhausted to even bother questioning it when his body picks up Iwaizumi’s sweater from his bag as if it’s running on autopilot and he crawls into bed like that and tucks the fabric against his chest and promptly falls asleep.

The teddy bear that the omega has been practically cuddling non stop while sleeping since the the day he had gotten it, including the weeks that he did his outermost to try and hide it from himself sits all but forgotten in the corner of the bed.

Oikawa sleeps well and wakes up the next morning well rested. 

And when he leaves for school Iwaizumi is wordlessly waiting for him outside Oikawa’s house and the omega can’t help but drape himself over Iwaizumi’s back with a wide grin spread across his face.

“Aww, where you worried about me Iwa-chan?” he teases, clinging to the alpha’s broad shoulders as his friend tries to shake him off with an annoyed huff.

“No,” Iwaizumi scoffs but there is a faint flush making its way across the alpha’s cheeks that has Oikawa burying his head against Iwaizumi’s back as a strange feeling of giddiness washes over him and for a moment Oikawa allows himself to believe that everything will be fine from here on out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert; things were not fine from here on out.
> 
> Tune in two weeks from now to figure out just 'not fine' things get.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am officially calling this chapter ‘the chapter where Oikawa constantly blames Iwa-chan for everything even though Iwaizumi didn’t do shit’ but hey, what else is new?

It’s a rocky road from there on out.

Oikawa returns the stolen sweater about two weeks later the next time he visits Iwaizumi’s house. He takes the opportunity to wordlessly sneak it into his friend’s dirty laundry basket in the corner of the alpha’s room when Iwaizumi’s mother calls him downstairs, giving Oikawa a few precious minutes to make the switch.

As he approaches the basket the omega swears on everything that is holy that he is honestly only going to return what he had borrowed, and that is it. Sure, Oikawa had made a mistake when he had first stolen the piece of fabric but in his defense he hadn’t exactly been himself back then, and now when he is he is going to fix this once and for all.

And then he can go back to his sleepless and awful nights until he can figure out how to sleep like a normal human again.

It will be fine, really.

Somehow.

Oikawa promises himself that he only has the purest of intentions in mind as he starts digging around in the hamper.

After all, it has been awhile since he took the sweater in the first place, so to make it more believable he can’t just put it on top of the rest of Iwaizumi’s used clothes now can he because sure, Iwaizumi can be dumb at times but he is not downright _stupid_ and the only reason Oikawa is going through all of this trouble to return it in the first place is so this entire mess wont get found out in an idiotic way.

Like Iwaizumi finding the sweater in the top layer of his basket only to ask him stupid questions that Oikawa wont be able to answer without making things worse than they already are.

Logically speaking Oikawa has to either return the sweater or get rid of it and since it’s a pretty nice sweater all things considered-, well, as nice as Iwaizumi’s clothes can be if you take into account the alpha’s taste in them, Oikawa is honestly doing Iwaizumi a favor at this point by not throwing it in the garbage. Iwaizumi should be grateful, really.

So Oikawa needs to get in there, elbow-deep into Iwaizumi’s hamper for _Iwaizumi’s sake_ and dig the stupid thing down so no one will be the wiser that it has been missing for the last two weeks. 

Easy.

Simple.

Foolproof.

And then Oikawa can finally put this entire ordeal behind him and pretend that none of it ever happened in the first place.

It’s all going accord to plan but then there is something soft brushing up against the back of his hand as he digs through the layers of used clothing and Oikawa pauses with a slow blink, his wrist twisting to the side until his fingers manages to catch hold of the thing in question before he pulls it out in curiosity, not actually realizing what he is doing.

The thing is not just soft. It’s extremely soft, not to mention both fluffy and wonderful and Oikawa can’t help but run his small fingers across it, allowing the smooth texture to brush up against his fingertips and it’s _so nice_ and where the hell did Iwaizumi get his hands on this and why hasn’t he told Oikawa where he can get his own.

It’s a crime really. For brash and grumpy Iwa-chan to have something so soft and not even bothering sharing it with him and for a brief moment Oikawa finds himself wondering why they are even friends in the first place.

The pale gray hoodie looks just the right size to snuggle up in at home as well and before Oikawa can think better of it he has stuffed the old sweater he brought with him at the bottom of Iwaizumi’s laundry basket and safely tucked away this new treasure in his own bag.

He swears it’s just for research purposes. He is going to figure out where Iwaizumi got it and get his own and then Iwaizumi can have his stupid, smelly thing back.

The omega goes to sleep that night dressed in Iwaizumi’s heavenly soft hoodie, the alpha’s scent practically encasing him and he sleeps better than he ever has before.

Oikawa has his own identical hoodie by the end of the next week but for some reason it is nowhere as soft as Iwaizumi’s.

It isn’t supposed to happen again after that, but it does. 

The second time it’s that ridiculous Godzilla thing that Iwaizumi can’t stop wearing so being away from it for awhile might actually help the alpha’s disastrous fashion sense improve.

The third time it’s something green and warm because Oikawa’s warmest thing is in the laundry right now and today is so very cold.

The fourth is the soft one again, and it is honestly just so Oikawa can double check if it really is so much softer than Oikawa’s own as he remembered it to be. (It is.)

He can’t even remember his reasoning behind the fifth and by the sixth he has stopped making up excuses altogether.

It becomes a routine.

Oikawa keeps the item of clothing until Iwaizumi’s scent starts to fade and then he brings it with him the next time he comes over. He waits for Iwaizumi to leave him for a moment, or he figures out a way to send him away so he can do the exchange.

Over over again until Oikawa doesn’t even think twice about doing it anymore. Until it no longer feels weird but rather is just something that comes naturally to him, like brushing his teeth in the morning before breakfast.

By the time they hit puberty and he has to sit through the obligatory classes on sexual health Oikawa is already so far gone that he can’t even bring himself to be surprised when their teacher brings up how a long time exposure to someone from the other gender’s scent can lead to dependency and even further down the road if they are unlucky and nothing is done about it-, addiction.

Oikawa should be probably scared, or at the very least shocked or something but instead the only thing he can feel is how everything just kind of clicks into place. 

It’s not like he wasn’t aware that he had issues to begin with anyway-, even if Oikawa has spent the last couple of years pretending he doesn’t. Back then he had been young and stupid and had honestly not fully understood what had been going on but now when the omega is older and he is able to look at it in a more objectively way it is all suddenly making sense.

And it’s kind of a relief really.

Because Oikawa is not weird and gross. If anything it’s all _Iwaizumi’s fault_ that Oikawa has turned out like this isn’t it, so the very least the alpha can do is to supply him with clothes, knowingly or not.

(He knows it’s not Iwaizumi’s fault, but telling himself it is makes everything a lot more bearable.)

Oikawa’s first heat is not as bad as he has been lead to believe it would be.

It’s not pleasant by any means and he does feel considerably gross once it has ended but other than that he doesn’t remember much more than everything being hazy and smelling a bit like the forest.

Maybe just as well.

Once he is back at school the Oikawa gets all but surrounded by his omegan classmates whose heats have yet to happen, curious as to what it’s like and Oikawa answers them as truthfully as he can, even though he chooses to leave out the parts where he had Iwaizumi’s scent helping him through it.

Oikawa never really stops to question where this will all lead. After all Iwaizumi has been a constant presence in his life since the day they were born and the thought that Iwaizumi might not be around in the future to unknowingly supply him with scented clothes never actually crosses Oikawa’s mind-, until the omega’s third heat hits him.

It arrives way earlier than it should, and just to make matters worse the scent of Oikawa’s currently stolen sweater is already on its last few good days. He has been keeping it stoved away in his bag during the course of the week, hoping for an opportunity to switch it out to appear but it never came. 

Maybe it’s not very surprisingly taking into account how busy this last month has been for all of them. With their next tournament just around the corner the team has stayed in the gymnasium after practice until well into the night so Oikawa never really got the chance to invite himself over to Iwaizumi’s place even though the two of them are practically neighbors.

They live so close and yet right then the distance between their houses has never seem greater and then Oikawa’s heat hits him out of nowhere, right as he passes through the corridor after having visited the bathrooms during their break and he finds himself hunching over long before his brain has even managed register the pain that Oikawa knows is currently making its way through his body. He puts a trembling hand against the wall to support himself, his other coming hand reaching around to clutch at his stomach just as his brain finally is able to catch up and the first whimpers as the now almost familiar feeling of fire coursing through his veins are making itself known.

Maybe it happens because all of the build up stress the Oikawa has been going through. Maybe it is because his body is unconsciously crying out for the scent of Iwaizumi because the sweater smells nothing like him anymore and the alpha is so close, trails of pine wafting the omega’s way throughout the day, calling out to him during practice and even though the alpha is right there is nothing Oikawa can do about it.

He looses control of his scent first. Oikawa can even feel it happening. Can sense the way it starts to roll off of him in waves-, can almost see the way its reaching out through the air in thinly formed tendrils, searching as his body attempts to lure in what it’s missing. Attempting to draw in someone that can make him whole and that can maybe make everything just a little less awful.

It’s not the first time someone has gone into heat or a rut for that matter in the middle of school. They are all still teenagers, young and with bodies that are still growing, still evolving as they move through puberty. The school is filled with people who has yet to experience their first time and people whose bodies hasn’t quite managed to create an actual rhythm for these kind of things yet.

But not being the first is not of much solace in a place where hormones and pheromones are running wild on a daily basis. There are alphan head’s jerking too attention around him, a strange and dreadful silence setting over the hallway as heads tilts upwards to whiff in the air. He can feel their gazes on him, the way their eyes are burning holes through his body with something hungry and dark that they are all still too young to fully understand.

Oikawa is scared. Everything hurts and he needs his nest, needs to be safe. He doesn’t want to be out here, hunched over and defenseless out in the open with more eyes than he cares to count glued to him. The following his every little move, honing in on every painful little pant that leaves him through open lips as if they all want to devour him whole.

Suddenly there is a low but yet loud snarl breaking through the silence, the sharp tang of pine in the air and everything is a bit hazy, his mind a bit cloudy but Oikawa still somehow instinctively understands that Iwaizumi is somehow there and the omega helplessly slumps back against the wall, his body going into overdrive. His body heat raising, breath heaving because he knows that scent, needs that scent and the person who is emitting it to take care of him something desperately.

He creaks open eyes that he didn’t even realized he had closed in the first place only to come fact to face with the alpha’s back. Iwaizumi has firmly placed himself between Oikawa and the other alphas who are looming around the hallway. Iwaizumi has his fangs bared and there is a growl in the back of his throat, something low and threateningly as the alpha glares daggers at anyone that dares to as much as throw another glance Oikawa’s way.

It’s overprotective and maybe, just maybe a bit possessive and Oikawa would have teased Iwaizumi about it endlessly if he wasn’t currently in so much pain.

Would have shoved it in the alpha’s face for being so ‘typical alphan’ at any opportunity presented to him if it wasn’t just so nice to feel protected and cared for and has Iwaizumi’s shoulders always been this broad and safe or is it something that has happened gradually over the years when Oikawa hasn’t been paying attention?

Oikawa would have done so many things if his eyes weren’t currently glued to the way the alphas hands are fisting at his friend’s side so harshly that the skin seems to be turning white.

It looks painful.

He could make it better.

Iwaizumi slaps his hand away the moment Oikawa’s heated skin connects with Iwaizumi’s own and Oikawa lets out a sad whimper in protest.

At least he tries to whimper but now when he thinks about it it kind of sounds more like a needy little whine than anything else and Oikawa should probably be ashamed about it, but Iwaizumi’s hands are fisting even harder and oh, there is something different about the alpha’s scent now. 

It’s saturated with something dark and murky and it’s rolling off Iwaizumi in waves, daring anyone to approach them and it is making something heated coil in the depths of Oikawa’s stomach, something wet and sticky trickling down the inside of the omega’s thighs and maybe, just maybe Oikawa doesn’t need his nest, not if he can have Iwaizumi instead.

Oikawa whines again and it’s so pathetic but he needs and he can see the way Iwaizumi’s jaw is clenching something awful even from behind him and Oikawa is sure that he can make it better, make them both better if just-

“ ** _Shut up_**.”

It’s a command. Oikawa has never gotten commanded to do anything in his life before but he knows what it is the moment it hits him, the moment it wraps around him and ties up his tongue and forces his mouth to stay shut.

He doesn’t understand.

All Oikawa wanted was to help, to be good and make things better and he ends up shifting away from where he is slouching, pushing away from the wall on trembling legs that aren’t quite able to carry his weight because when he thinks about it he doesn’t actually need to talk in order to be good, he just need to-

“Just shut up and _**stay still** _.”

Oikawa wants to tell Iwaizumi he is being rude and awful, that Oikawa just wants to help but he can’t talk anymore, cant reach out to make his intention know. Can’t do anything else than silently watch the way a single bead of sweat is making its way from the shortly cropped hair of Iwaizumi’s neck and down into the hem of alpha’s shirt where it gets soaked up by the fabric.

He absentmindedly licks his lips.

Oikawa wonders what that shirt would smell like pressed up against his face as he works himself open on his fingers.

The thought alone makes Oikawa’s scent rocket once more and he can see when it hits Iwaizumi, can see the way the alpha hunches over and then proceed to swear loudly from the sheer force of it.

There are new and more glances of interests his way even though Oikawa can hear Iwaizumi snarl and bark for them to get the fuck away as soon as the alpha manages to collect himself once more.

It all seems so far away though. Everything is just so cloudy and hazy. Especially now when the Iwaizumi’s scent is beginning to grow stronger too with a sharp and dangerous edge to it that makes Oikawa’s knees grow so weak that he finds himself helplessly sliding down along the wall until he is sitting in a heap on the floor, panting pathetically as he looks up at the broad and muscular back of the alpha with half-lidded eyes.

He has no idea if the scent’s current intensity is because Iwaizumi is trying to protect him by covering Oikawa’s scent with his own or if the alpha is starting to gradually loose his control. If his will and determination is fraying at the edges, crumbling.

Oikawa hopes it is because Iwaizumi smells amazing. So safe and oh, the alpha might get in trouble for letting his scent run wild like this in school and part of Oikawa wants to tell him to stop and another wants to beg Iwaizumi for more but ultimately the alpha’s command still has his tongue tied so all the Oikawa can really do is to silently watch the way the crimson red of Iwaizumi’s blood is now dripping down from how tightly the alpha is clenching his hands.

It’s a dark red and it fills the air with the tang of copper, something wild and primitive that makes Oikawa’s mind reel and he has never felt this way before during any of his heats but he needs.

It’s first then that their teachers manages to get to him and the man wraps Oikawa up in his arms intending to take him away and Oikawa feels himself panicking, his honeyed scent turning sour and there is an immediate snarl in response from Iwaizumi, the alpha’s head snapping around with something akin to a feral expression on his face and Oikawa watches in wonder at the way Iwaizumi’s pupils are so dilated that he can’t even see the green of the man’s irises anymore. 

But he can see the way Iwaizumi’s breath is coming out in harsh and heavy heaves, the way sweat is beading at his forehead and Oikawa is so entranced by it all that he doesn’t even notice that their teacher is starting to encase him in his scent instead before it’s too late and he cries out, finally breaking trough the earlier command because it’s all wrong. 

It’s all metallic and the saltiness of the sea and Oikawa was supposed to be good and stay still for Iwaizumi but the teacher is moving him now, ruining it and he _needs to be good_ , needs to-

He reaches out with his hand towards Iwaizumi desperately, seeing the way the alpha’s eyes are widening and for a moment Oikawa thinks that Iwaizumi will actually take it, will latch on and pull him out of their teachers arms and flush against the alpha’s own chest and make things right. 

Take him somewhere safe where they can be alone and-

But then Iwaizumi swears, his face hardening and then he is turning around until the only thing Oikawa can see is the alpha’s back on him and for some reason that hurts more than the scorching pain currently burning its way through his stomach.

It’s his worst heat by far. The last few trails of Iwaizumi’s scent only lasts him for roughly a day and then it’s just Oikawa and his hands and the toys that his mother gave him to make things more bearable.

His first heat had been better than this, even though back then he had had nothing but his hands and the scent of Iwaizumi against his nose. 

This one is awful. Painful and lonely and it leaves him yearning and empty in ways he has never quite felt before no matter how many times he gets himself off or tries to stuff himself full.

It’s intense and overall awful and afterward Oikawa decides that he is never putting himself through another heat without Iwaizumi’s scent next to him ever again.

They don’t talk about what happened once Oikawa comes back to school. Iwaizumi doesn't say anything, doesn’t even greet him but Oikawa can feel the way the alpha’s eyes are constantly digging into his back whenever Iwaizumi think he isn’t looking and he doesn’t even have the guts to tell Iwaizumi to cut it out because that means they might start talking and Oikawa has no idea what to say to his friend anymore.

Things stay tense and awful for the whole day and then Oikawa somehow manages to mess up his serve during practice and it ends up forcefully hitting the back of Iwaizumi’s head.

There is a lot of angry yelling and name calling but things get back to normal after that and that evening when they go back to study at Iwaizumi’s place so that he can give Oikawa the rundown of what he has been missing in class during his absence Oikawa steals an extra piece of clothing in addition to his normal haul. From there on the omega makes sure to stores the extra in a plastic bag and hiding it in the furthest reach of his wardrobe in order to keep its scent for as long as possible in case he wont be able to get his sticky little fingers on something fresh the next time his heat is about to occur.

It takes Oikawa awhile to notice but suddenly during the days before his heats kicks in Iwaizumi tends to stand just a bit closer, the scent the alpha is giving out just the slighest bit stronger-, even on the verge of breaking the school regulations at times and it’s making Oikawa feel so many different things at the same time.

What does his pre-heat smell like he wonders, because it’s evident that Iwaizumi can tell when he is getting closer somehow.

Does Iwaizumi find it inciting in the way they have learned it’s supposed to be? Does it make him feel protective over Oikawa or is it just a common courtesy extended to a friend, an attempt to try and prevent another hallway incident?

Oikawa has always been good at reading Iwaizumi but at those times he can’t tell what the clench of the man’s jaw actually means.

Their bodies keeps changing. Iwaizumi’s starts getting his ruts shortly after and it’s lonely and strangely empty having to spend a week every now and then alone and Oikawa is so very thankful for having had the oversight of taking an extra piece of clothing that he steals another one the next chance he gets.

Three is a lucky number after all, even if it’s hard to make his bag look not suspiciously bulky after Iwaizumi’s rut or his heat finishes when he has to switch out two or sometimes all three items in one go.

It is all so very worth it though.

There are more alphas starting to approaching him during Iwaizumi’s absences and Oikawa can’t help but to wonder if they are taking their chances when Iwaizumi isn’t around.

It makes him feel warm and daring and sometimes the omega even skips out on his morning showers during the first days of Iwaizumi’s ruts so he can carry the trails of the alpha’s scent with him to school.

It raises some eyebrows but ultimately they leave him alone.

Oikawa tells himself that he is only doing it to deal with the rest of the school’s alpha’s when Iwaizumi isn’t there to act like a barrier and not because carrying Iwaizumi’s scent makes him feel safe and protected.

And as an added bonus it also seems to make the days he has to spend without Iwaizumi pass quicker, somehow but he always makes sure that every little trail of wood and wet asphalt is scrubbed clean off his body long before Iwaizumi even comes back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I am going to be away mountain hiking this weekend attempting to run away from corona and being locked up in my house every damn day I took the liberty of posting this chapter an entire day too early whoops.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you all holding up out there? 
> 
> Anyway, before this chapter starts I just wanted to clear something up with you all. Since this is still an aob fic and since they are both still growing and evolving among other things this chapter will contain mentions and the possibility of mpreg being a thing in this universe, but I want to make it clear to everyone that there won’t be any actual mpreg happening in this fic in the future.
> 
> Anyway, if it isn’t your cup of tea feel more than free to skip this chapter. Mpreg won’t be happening and after this chapter it will never be mentioned again. So if you end up deciding to skip it I’ll just see you in two weeks when this train-wreck continues.

Oikawa still hates the days before his heat with a burning passion. They are hazy and cloudy and seemingly always draws on forever. He always feels so strangely mellow during those times, distant even. Like he is not even there and he is watching himself work through the motions of everyday life through some kind of filter instead of being the ones performing them. He is so used to be in charge, both of his team and of his life, but the days before his heat happens he hardly even recognizes himself anymore.

Silent and withdrawn.

Clingy.

_Needy._

“How is that any different from how you normally are,” Iwaizumi huffs out in reply to Oikawa’s constant complaints from where the alpha is sitting cross-legged on the floor of Oikawa’s room, his broad back leaned up against the side of the omega’s bed. “You have always been the neediest, annoyingest fuck I know.”

“Iwa-chan, _rude_!” Oikawa scoffs, the pout already growing quickly on his face at his friends words. “I will have you know that I am none of those things thank you very much.”

Iwaizumi just raises an eyebrow at his statement, which in turn only makes the omega’s pout widen further because it’s _not true_ . Not completely at least. Sure, Oikawa has his moments like everyone does but it’s not like he is _always_ needy or anything. Nuh uh.

“Sure,” the alpha says in a voice that tells Oikawa that Iwaizumi doesn’t actually believe him even the slightest and the omega pursues his lips as he watches Iwaizumi turn his gaze back to the television and the match that they had been watching together up until that point.

Stupid, gruffy, _grumpy_ Iwa-chan.

“No, but really, I so _am not_ ,” Oikawa tries once more.

“Sure.”

“ _Iwa-chaaan-,”_

There is a small tug at the corner of Iwaizumi’s lips that Oikawa most likely would have missed if he currently wasn’t so hellbent on studying his friends reactions to his words. It’s not often that Oikawa talks about things that actually bothers him and if Iwaizumi would as much as give him the smallest of indications that he was getting fed up with it Oikawa would backtrack the fuck out of there in a heartbeat.

The thing is, Oikawa doesn’t give a shit about Iwaizumi smothering his face in a pillow when he goes on aren't about how much of a bitch Mari in their parallel class is, or how much easier their lives would be if their history teacher would just get laid once in a blue moon instead of taking out his disappointment over the route his life has taken on them.

Honestly Oikawa doesn’t even mind too badly when Iwaizumi roughs him up even if he likes to pretend otherwise. At times Oikawa even turns running his mouth loose until he makes Iwaizumi snap and forcefully try to shut him up, one way or another into a game.

It’s just _so easy_ and way too much fun to tease his friend, to rile him up and get him going. To draw one reaction out of him after another but he also doesn’t think that he could bear it if Iwaizumi would try to shut him up while he was actually trying to something off his chest.

The thing is, Oikawa can complain seemingly endlessly about needing to travel to the other end of town just so he can get his hand on a brand of shampoo that won’t fuck up his hair. And if their school were to ever have a trivia quiz about all the gossip flying around Oikawa is pretty confident that the only one that would be able to give him a run for his money is Hanamaki.

Whining and complaining about shallow-, and frankly meaningless things is like second nature to him. It’s just so easy and not to mention _much more fun_ to shift his focus to something else instead of having to think about all the stress he is feeling about school, not to mention his future. To not have to deal with the fact that even if _he feels_ like the same person on the inside everything about his body is changing at an alarming rate and he has no choice but to change with it.

But that doesn’t mean that he wants to.

Sure, Oikawa wants to grow up one day. Be and adult. Have a house and some kind of career as well, whatever it might end up being. But he wants to change on _his terms_ and not have to deal with the shit his body is forcing him to go through almost monthly.

The worst part is that he doesn’t even feel like himself during the times his heat hits him. Instead it feels like he has no control anymore. It’s like his own body doesn’t even belong to himself at those times, successfully shutting off his mind until everything that Oikawa _is_ becomes hidden behind a veil of desperation and the most basic of needs.

Heats are scary and they him feel so vulnerable and alone, both during but especially after, even with Iwaizumi’s scent next to him and frankly, Oikawa hates every single moment of them.

He hates the heavy and churning feeling that coils in his stomach the days before it breaks out. In class they learned they should be thankful for it so they have the time to prepare themselves accordingly. Build a nest, stock up on food and in the future helping them to plan around them together with their mate but all Oikawa can think of is his own body literally giving him the finger, reminding him every second of the day what is about to happen and that there is absolute nothing that he can do about it.

And once it actually hits him Oikawa doesn’t even know who the the quivering and desperate being in his bed is anymore, only that it _isn’t him_ and when it’s finally over Oikawa is just _exhausted_ and completely spent. His entire body sore and aching all over but even worse is the _itch_ just under his skin as his mind clears up once more, the need to scrub himself clean of days worth of slick and sweat. 

It’s so very humiliating having to clean up after himself, to carry his disgusted, soiled sheets to the washer on legs that won’t quite carry him and pray that he won’t run into anyone in his family this time around.

It never matter how scalding hot he puts the temperature in the shower to, doesn’t matter how long he spends scrubbing at his skin until it’s all pink and raw because he _still remembers_ . Remembers the desperation, the need to be _filled_. The omega inside of him taking over until there is nothing of him left.

And then Oikawa has roughly a month to try and forget how it all made him feel before it’s time again.

Not being himself terrifies him- and while Oikawa is normally able to distance himself from it all (he has gotten really good at pretending it isn’t happening until it is over the years) school has been stressful and life hard and he just needs to get it out this time around-, to get it off his chest, one way or another.

And Oikawa knows that even though Iwaizumi likes to pretend otherwise the alpha does care about him and always has his back, in his own gruffy way and well, in the end Oikawa really has no one else to complain about things that actually matters in the first place.

It feels kind of nice he realizes, a bit safe somehow to confide in Iwaizumi and have him banter with him when heat is just around the corner. Being able to share like this, however little is taking the edge off of it a bit. Making it less scary.

“I just don’t like it,” Oikawa says in a small and quiet voice but he can tell that Iwaizumi has heard him with the way his friends brows furrows before the alpha throws him a glance over his shoulder.

Iwaizumi doesn’t actually say anything though, so Oikawa pouts and hugs the pillow tighter to his chest where he is sitting next to him.

“I don’t feel like myself and I hate it,” Oikawa continues. “...and you can tell me that I am just as clingy and annoying as I always am as much as you want but it won’t _change anything_. I will still be here, not feeling like myself before it happens and then I’ll be here once it has, trying to forget how it felt to not have as much as a sliver of control over myself until it’s about to happen again.”

Iwaizumi heaves a sigh next to him before stretching out one of his legs in front of him and Oikawa watches from the corner of his eyes as the alpha shifts until he is half facing Oikawa and still half facing the TV.

“Yeah, it sucks,” Iwaizumi agrees in a solemn voice and Oikawa snorts and hugs the pillow tighter.

“The hell do you know,” Oikawa counters which causes his friend to raise an eyebrow at him. Oikawa knows that he is being unfair because, knows that Iwaizumi is trying to play along with his whining and complaints and be supportive, but for whatever reason it is just making him feel even worse at the moment.

“You are right, I don’t,” Iwaizumi ends up admitting a moment later and Oikawa learns the hard way that that isn’t making him feel any better either-, and he lets out an annoyed huff before burying his head into the pillow in his arms.

He is just so tired. So very, very tired and he kind of wishes that he had been born a beta so he didn’t have to deal with all this heat and omegan bullshit his life has become ever since he entered puberty.

But on the flip side if he didn’t he wouldn’t be able to enjoy Iwaizumi’s scent either.

On second thought that would probably be a good thing too, all things considered.

“But I don’t need to know what it’s like in order to understand that it sucks for you, now do I?” Iwaizumi says out of nowhere and finds himself Oikawa pausing at that before lifting head ever so lightly, peeking up at the alpha from over the edge of the pillow with a small and confused blink.

Iwaizumi could have tried to draw parallels with the alpha’s own ruts, could have tried to tell him that he understood what it was like to not be yourself and not in control because Oikawa knows that Iwaizumi probably gets about as affected by his ruts as Oikawa does with his own heat.

Knows it from what they have studied back in school, knows it from how Iwaizumi’s voice gets deeper and just a bit darker as the time draws near, sometimes even not being much more than a growl when it gets really bad. How the alpha grows impatient and how Iwaizumi will be just a tiny bit quicker to lose his temper, the words leaving the alpha’s mouth being both rougher and somehow sharper than what they normally are.

Knows it by the harsh clench of his friends jaw and the furrow between his brows that never quite leaving his face. And when Iwaizumi gets really close the alpha pulls away.

Not because he wants to be alone and safe like Oikawa does close to his heat, but because Iwaizumi is scared that something might snap when his hormones are running wild.

He had even told him once a long time ago when Oikawa had been whining about Iwaizumi not paying enough attention to him, standing too far away and being such a grump. Oikawa remembers how Iwaizumi had grimaced back then, how he had ran a hand through his hair frustratedly before explaining to him that it wasn’t _Oikawa_ as much as it was _him_ and that he just _couldn’t_.

And Oikawa had understood and from that point on he always allowed Iwaizumi to keep his distance the days he felt he needed to without saying another word because Oikawa too knew what not being in control was like.

But it had been such a long time ago since then and Iwaizumi keeping a respectable distance from him every now and then had become something so common in his everyday life that he had forgotten why. Forgotten that Iwaizumi knew _exactly_ what it was like to not be in control as much as Oikawa did.

And Iwaizumi could have rubbed that in Oikawa’s face, told him that he did know, but he hadn’t. Hadn’t tried to take Oikawa’s suffering attempted to make it about himself. It was validating and so very, very nice and Oikawa just likes Iwaizumi so, so much.

“I am sorry,” Oikawa mumbles and he slowly leans his head to the side until it’s resting against Iwaizumi’s shoulder. Iwaizumi just let’s out a soft hum in response before he too shifts and lets his back fall back against the side of his bed once more, breaking the connection as soon as Oikawa created it. The omega pouts before snuggling up close to him once again and this time Iwaizumi stays still as Oikawa rest his head against him.

“Nothing to be sorry about,” Iwaizumi says, his attention back to watching the game once more and Oikawa smiles softly and shuffles just a tiny bit closer.

Time passes slowly and comfortable and at one point Oikawa thinks he might even have fallen asleep. He is still hurting, his imminent heat shaving away at his insides but just being like this, close to his friend and have his warmth against his cheek and Iwaizumi’s scent all around him makes it all so much better and almost bearable.

“It’s fine,” Iwaizumi says in a soft voice what might have been a moment later but it could just as well been an hour and Oikawa creaks open a bleary eye that he hadn’t realized that he had closed in the first place and he leans back with a small yawn before giving his friend a confused look, one hand reaching up to rub at his tired eyes.

Iwaizumi’s body jerks as he moves and Oikawa watches as his friend turns his head to give him an unreadable look and Oikawa can’t help but wonder if he wasn’t meant to hear that, if Iwaizumi had thought that he had been asleep.

The look in the alpha’s eyes tells him that might be the case.

“What is?” Oikawa asks and there is a faint flush spreading across tanned skin and just like that Oikawa knows that Iwaizumi thought he couldn’t hear him and with that knowledge comes the need to know the rest.

“ _Iwa-chan_ ,” he whines and it’s probably because of his heat that he leans forward once more and rubs his cheek softly against Iwaizumi’s shoulder.

Probably.

Iwaizumi’s body immediately stiffens and there is some kind of flare to his scent that Oikawa has never smelled before, but the alpha doesn’t give him the chance to process it before heaving a sigh in defeat and opening his mouth.

“Being clingy and needy or whatever,” Iwaizumi says and Oikawa tilts his head to the side against the man’s shoulder and looks up at him just as Iwaizumi lets his gaze wander down to meet Oikawa’s own before the alpha averts his gaze once more with a small huff. “It’s fine, heat or not. I don’t mind.”

Oikawa hadn’t actually expected Iwaizumi to actually indulge him, to _actually_ tell him what was supposedly ‘fine’ or not and the fact that he does makes his brain shortcut and it takes him awhile longer before he is fully able to process what Iwaizumi is actually telling him. And then he is blushing furiously, his face burying into his friend shoulders with a stifled noise because Iwaizumi is just so damn frustrating right now, direct yet open and what the hell is he even supposed to reply to that.

“I want pancakes,” Oikawa ends up saying and Iwaizumi snorts at him. He is not saying it because he is actually hungry, but because he figures the best way to get back at his friend is taking what he is apparently allowed to do and run wild with it.

And maybe, just maybe there is a small part of him that wants Iwaizumi to spoil him rotten when he is feeling like shit as well.

“No,” Iwaizumi replies and Oikawa whines, rubs his face against his chest and _oh_ , it’s not quite like getting scented, not that Oikawa knows what that would be like anyway-, but his heat is close and Oikawa closes his eyes and allows himself to at least imagine it happening for the briefest of moments.

He finds himself wondering if Iwaizumi would scent him if he asked him to.

“You are so _mean_ Iwa-chan,” he whines instead. “You _said_ that I could be needy.”

“Yeah well, I don’t remember saying that I would actually play along with every stupid little whim that hits you though,” Iwaizumi replies matter of factly and Oikawa huffs before shuffling back until they are sitting side by side and he tries to make a point of hugging his pillow tightly once again.

“Fine,” Oikawa says and ignores the small chuckle coming from his friend. “I am never going to ask you for anything ever again.”

“Sure.”

“I am serious Iwa-chan, just you watch me!”

“Okay.”

Oikawa huffs and hugs his pillow tighter. The game on the TV ends ends and Iwaizumi doesn’t say anything even as the commercial comes and goes, doesn’t as much as show any inclination to gather his stuff and start heading home even when the next program starts playing, some stupid romcom that Iwaizumi would normally give him hell for wanting to watch. 

Oikawa doesn’t really pay attention to any of that though. His head is hazy and hurting, eyes drooping and he is not sure when it happens but somehow his head is back to resting against Iwaizumi’s shoulder.

After all Iwaizumi said that it was fine for him to be needy and clingy.

And it’s nice. Safe.

Even safer when a strong arm hesitantly wraps around his back and holds him close as he falls asleep.

Oikawa doesn’t remember much after that. He wakes up a few hours later alone in his bed with his blanket tucked safely up to his chin. He feels warm and cared for and there is the lingering scent of Iwaizumi all around him and it’s so nice even if he isn’t able to sense the presence of his friend inside his room anymore.

He doesn’t understand why Iwaizumi left without saying goodbye.

But then Oikawa shifts and there is something wet and slick between his legs and oh, he hadn’t noticed before with Iwaizumi’s scent lingering about and having just woken up after his admittedly very long nap but things are kind of hazy and foggy and his stomach is kind of hurting something awful isn’t it?

And just like that Oikawa knows exactly why Iwaizumi left.

But he also can’t help but wonder how long his friend stayed until Oikawa’s scent became too much for him. If the thought of sliding down next to Oikawa on the bed instead of leaving as he tucked him in ever crossed the Iwaizumi’s mind.

Oikawa desperately wants to know just how hard it was for Iwaizumi to leave him when his scent was starting to run wild, his body emitting an wide array of pheromones in its attempt to try and draw a potential mate in.

Oikawa is so very thankful that Iwaizumi left, but he is also so very disappointed that he did.

It’s not only Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s relationship that grows tighter over the years, the bond between their families does too.

The Iwaizumi and Oikawa household has always been close over the years, but with two boys the same age and that ended up almost inseparable during childhood the bond already existing between their two houses started growing tighter as well.

It is not uncommon for Oikawa to come home to find his front door locked and a note handing on the fridge informing him that his mother had an errand she suddenly needed to take care of and ending up at the Iwaizumis for the rest of the evening with none of the Iwaizumi’s family so much as raising an eyebrow at his presence.

Back when they were still young Iwaizumi’s grandmother passed away and Hana, Iwaizumi’s mother had to go to Osaka to help her part of the family through it. Iwaizumi and Takeshi had needed to stay home then when their parents had decided that they where both too young to come as well. Not to mention that that it happened to happen in the middle of their finals week because of course it did.

That time Oikawa and his mother had ended up practically moving into Iwaizumi’s house for the entirety of the two weeks Hana was gone. It had started with the two of them just coming over to offer support and Rena, Oikawa’s own mother had ended up cooking and being an overall mental support while they all worked through their sorrows in their own way.

At first the plan had been for them to go home once evening came, after all it was not like they lived far away or anything-, but in the end Takeshi and Iwaizumi’s father had ended up sharing the master bedroom while Rena took Takeshi’s bed. Oikawa himself ended up sleeping on the spare futon on Iwaizumi’s floor which at this point wasn’t so much as a spare futon as _his_ , and he and his mother did their best to take care of the hollow shells that the Iwaizumi family had become for as long as they were needed.

Oikawa’s father even started to come over after work for dinner like it was the most natural thing in the world having his wife and son living in another house. Sometimes he would stay and sleep on the couch and sometimes he would go home. Sometimes when Iwaizumi told Oikawa that he felt like the walls of his own room were threatening to swallow him whole they would sneak out of Iwaizumi’s house and into Oikawa’s own and sleep in the omega’s bed.

And the next morning when they made their way back for breakfast together with Oikawa’s father no one as much as batted an eyelash at them.

Even when Hana came back to Miyagi and things calmed down there were still nights when Iwaizumi would come over out of nowhere, giving Oikawa the scare of his life as he hurriedly had to shove whatever item of Iwaizumi’s he had currently stolen from him under his pillow before waiting until Iwaizumi had fallen asleep until he was able to hide it somewhere safe until the morning.

Sometimes Takeshi would come over too, flopping down on the couch and turning on the television like he lived there and that evening Oikawa’s mother would simply just set the table with one more plate and that was that. 

The Iwaizumis were healing after their loss, slowly but surely and in the end that was only thing that really mattered and Oikawa was happy to be able to help them any way he could, even if he knew that in the grand scale of things it wasn’t much.

In the end the only thing he could do was to be there for them. He knew it was appreciated though, could see it in the soft smiles Iwaizumi’s dad would sometimes give him as his gaze flickered from his son to Oikawa and then back again.

Even now, years later Oikawa still kind of wishes that Iwaizumi could have gone to Osaka with his mother. If nothing else to get a chance for the closure that the omega knew that his friend desperately had seemed to need, but at least Iwaizumi hadn’t needed to go through it alone. At least Oikawa had been able to be there for him, stand or sit by the alpha’s side and pretend that he didn’t see the way Iwaizumi’s eyes would sometimes go wet with unshed tears and that he didn’t hear the soft noises the alpha only let out at night when he thought Oikawa was already asleep.

Sometimes when Iwaizumi’s eyes turned far away and glassy Oikawa would silently put a hand on Iwaizumi’s shoulder and watch how green eyes turned focused once more as he anchored him and pulled him back to the present, away from the alpha’s dark thoughts. Sometimes at night Oikawa would pretend to move in his sleep, rolling so close to the other’s silently crying form during the times that they shared a bed that he could feel the light trembles of Iwaizumi’s body against his own skin.

Sometimes that would calm the boy, slowly but surely and Iwaizumi would go to sleep like that, his breath tickling Oikawa’s face as it slowly evened out. Sometimes Iwaizumi would wordlessly shuffle closer to him until their bodies were flush against one another and bury his head between Oikawa’s shoulders with a quiet sniffle, an arm sneaking around Oikawa’s waist and holding him close.

He didn’t need the things that smelled like Iwaizumi on those nights. In fact at those times Oikawa didn’t even think about the way Iwaizumi smelled or how the alpha felt pressed up against him. The only thing on the omega’s mind was how he could make it better and one night when the other had draped his arm around him, believing him to be asleep Oikawa remembers silently putting his hand over Iwaizumi’s own and intertwining their fingers, unsurprised by the way the alpha tensed up behind him.

“ _I am here Iwa-chan_ ,” he remembers having whispered to his friend softly, gently squeezing the alpha’s hand. “… _and I am not going anywhere, okay_?” 

Out of all the things he had expected Iwaizumi to do, squeezing his hand back was not among them and when Oikawa woke up the next morning it was with the realization that their hands were still tightly intertwined with one another and for some reason that made him so very happy.

The Iwaizumi's heals with time and it would seem like death does not only take things apart but allows people to grow closer as well.

Sometimes he and Iwaizumi comes home to their mothers sitting side by side in the garden. Sometimes their fathers comes staggering home together in the late hours of the night with one beer to many under their belts. 

Sometimes Iwaizumi’s dad comes over without any reason more than to talk to them. Oikawa even ends up growing closer to Takeshi too, even if he still prefers Iwaizumi’s company over his brother and they spend countless summer together at the ocean or barbecuing in each other’s gardens and if Iwaizumi wasn’t a fixed point in Oikawa’s life before he sure as hell is now.

Sometimes Oikawa thinks that he catches something soft in Hana’s eyes as she looks between him and her own son.

Sometimes Oikawa thinks that he can hear whispers from hushed voices waifing in their directions when he and Iwaizumi are sprawled out side by side on the grass in the garden during lazy summer afternoons. Or when they happen to be cozed up on either of their couches while watching movies during rainy weekends.

Sometimes Oikawa’s father cracks a joke about how hopeless Oikawa is and that if he still hasn’t manage to get a mate of his own by the time they grow old they should just give him to Iwaizumi because they know that Hajime will be able to care for and deal with their hopeless child properly, and it’s not like officially putting their two families together would change how things currently is anyway.

Oikawa always tells his dad that he is being gross, that Iwaizumi is his _friend_ and that Oikawa would much rather spend his entire life being single than paired up with a grump like Iwa-chan anyway, thank you very much.

Iwaizumi always agrees and for some reason it always feels like a slap to the face.

And so time keeps moving and bonds keeps forming. Takeshi moves out and meets a cute omegan girl and she too gets accepted into the Iwaizumi’s extended family like she has always been a part of them-, and so does the baby she starts to carry once they are married.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi both finds it unbelievable that there is something living and _growing_ inside of her stomach and it’s gross and _so weird_. Mostly because Oikawa is an omega too and yet he can’t see himself like that, not yet at least. Not with his stomach all round and foreign. Pregnancy fits Takeshi’s wife though, makes her all plush and soft, makes her seem to be glowing from within somehow.

On the other hand Oikawa is all sharp angles and slender limbs and he _can’t_ . In fact he is not sure that he ever can and when he finally admits his thoughts out loud to Iwaizumi one day the alpha just shrugs his shoulders and asks him ‘ _What’s wrong with that?_ ’

‘ _Everything,_ ’ Oikawa wants to say but Iwaizumi sounds so sure of himself that Oikawa ends up pausing instead, turning the alpha’s words over and over in his head until his mind is spinning out of control and later that evening he ends up asking his mother the same question. Rena just smiles softly at him before she pats his hair and tells him that she just wants him to be happy and that both she and his father loves him unconditionally no matter what and just because that was Takeshi’s future doesn’t mean it has to be his.

It makes him feel better, even if it is just by a little.

Oikawa has never really thought about his future in that way before. Mostly it has just been about growing up and getting a job he both likes and can live a comfortable enough life on and as long as Iwaizumi would be in it one way or another nothing else really seemed to matter. But it’s hard to not think about these things now once the prospect of pregnancy is literally staring him straight in the face. 

Oikawa’s hesitation about what might lie ahead for him doesn’t stop him from spoiling what he considers to be his niece almost rotten once she is actually born though, because she is cute and so unbelievably _tiny_ . With impossibly small hands and feet and she makes the most _adorable_ little noises and the omega spends so much time taking so many pictures of her that he ends up running out of memory on his phone constantly.

Iwaizumi just rolls his eyes at him but mostly the alpha lets him be, even going so far as to text him every now and when they happen to come over so that Oikawa can drop just about everything he had been doing so he can play and dote on the small little thing even though Iwaizumi does nothing but huff and and complain once Oikawa is sauntering around the house with the pup cradled tightly like it’s his own.

“Maybe it’s not so bad,” Oikawa says one day when they are babysitting her in front of the TV and the tiny form is sound asleep in his arms. Iwaizumi turns his head from the movie they are currently watching and lets his gaze move across the two of them with a small frown on his face as he waits for Oikawa to continue.

“I mean… _I don’t know_ ,” the omega says. “It’s still super weird and all that but maybe… I mean, I don’t know but-,” Oikawa continues before he cuts himself off because he still doesn’t know.

It’s still weird and it still grosses the hell out of him and Oikawa might never reach the point where a child of his own is something that he truly wants-, but when he is holding his niece like this and with the steady and familiar presence of Iwaizumi next to him the prospect of it all suddenly doesn’t seem so scary anymore.

Oikawa is not sure Iwaizumi understands what he his trying to say. Hell, Oikawa himself is not even sure what he is trying to say because this is all so confusing to him still but of course Iwaizumi gets him, because Iwaizumi always does. Oikawa can even tell that the alpha has understood him with the way the Iwaizumi’s gaze flickers down to the baby and then back up to his own face once more without as much as missing a beat.

“What’s wrong with that?” Iwaizumi simply says, using the exact same words as the alpha had used earlier and for a moment Oikawa can’t do anything else but just stare at him in pure shock while his friend goes back to watching the movie like nothing had even happened. 

Like it was as easy as that.

Like it didn’t matter what Oikawa decides or not decides to do in the future. That no matter what Iwaizumi would always view him as him and nothing would change that. That they would still be them in ten years or even twenty and that Iwaizumi would still be there by Oikawa’s side one way or another, unconditionally accepting and supporting him in whatever choices he has made.

It’s too much. To much meaning behind so few words and it’s so Iwaizumi that Oikawa can’t help but hug the small and sleeping little form tightly to his chest as he tries to sort through his reeling mind. He feels emotional and strangely _raw_ at the same time and it’s awful but good too and he just really likes Iwaizumi so, so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to about the only chapter in this where Oikawa doesn't actually fuck something up for once.
> 
> Also you are all so wonderful, I almost can't believe all the love you are giving me with your comments, so thank you. (´｡• ω •｡`) ♡


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was kind of added in as an afterthought long after I had most of this fics outline laid out. (Some of you might even have noticed that the official chapter count for this fic has magically increased.) If I am going to be honest I am not completely sure how I feel about this addition yet, but I wrote it so here it is I guess?

Their bodies might be changing but their love for volleyball never really does. Instead it grows together with them until it’s just as hard for Oikawa to imagine a life without it as it is impossible for to see himself without Iwaizumi by his side.

Because by this point in his life Oikawa doesn’t know who he would be without either.

Thankfully Oikawa never has to choose. The alpha happens to be just as infatuated with the sport as he is, and instead of it being something that could potentially have been what finally made them start growing apart it only makes them grow even closer yet.

Lazy afternoons in the sun gets exchanged for training together, movie starts getting exchanged for recording of old matches. Iwaizumi even starts experiencing with some weight training to give his spikes that extra ‘ _umph_ ’ and Oikawa can’t help but notice that it does wonders for the alpha’s body.

Iwaizumi has always been the one with the more muscular build out of the two of them, which maybe isn’t all that surprising considering the fact their bodies are genetically build for very different purposes. The thing is, as Oikawa is quick to realize; out on the court none of that matters. What Oikawa lacks in muscles he makes up for with hard-work and his sense of the game, his understanding of his teammates. Because just as their purposes in life differences so does their roles on out on the court.

Oikawa doesn’t need to be able to face off three blockers by himself with brute strength alone. He got Iwaizumi and the rest of his spikers for that. But that doesn’t mean that his role on the team is any less important than the rest of the team either.

He trusts them to get the ball to him-, and in turn they trust him to send it where it’s needed in order for them to score.

It’s hard work and many late evenings, and what once started as just as a hobby slowly but surely starts to take over most of their free time. Especially once they make regulars but honestly, Oikawa couldn’t be happier. A part of him can’t help but feeling like volleyball has finally given him a purpose. Something productive that he can throw himself wholeheartedly into, a place where he is able to vent out his frustration about life and a body that keeps changing and never quite feels like it’s his own.

But in the end what Oikawa probably likes most about the sport is that once he is out on court things like being an omega is suddenly no longer of any importance. He doesn’t have to think or worry about things like heats or his impending future, whatever it might hold.

In those moments all that matters, all he needs to focus on is to keep the ball alive and off the ground as long it’s on their side of the court.

Oikawa is not going to lie though. The omega’s they have run into to when they play against other teams are few and in between but Oikawa simply refuses to let it get to him. The members of Seijoh doesn’t care about his genetic disposition and it’s not like he is there just for show either. He is good at what he does. Oikawa knows it, his team knows it and sooner or later they opponents always learns it too, one way or another.

Training camps are always harder than matches though.

Out there on the court the omega can just turn off his mind and solely focus on what’s in front of him but off the court, not so much. Whenever the adrenaline from having played is slowly starting to ebb out once more he is close to always greeted with the fierce and intense scent of focused alpha’s on edge all around him.

It always leaves his skin prickling and even though players are being forced to wear scent patches a portion of it still somehow always manages to leak out. It always gets to him and in those moments Oikawa always ends up silently shifting his body just little bit closer to Iwaizumi or the rest of his team.

His team smell familiar, safe, and it helps take the edge of the fact that he is stowed away in a room filled to the brim with strongly built alpha’s.

It always makes him feel slightly uneasy even though Oikawa knows that nothing is going to actually happen to him. There are safety measures in place and most of the players, believe or not, are good guys and are just here to play their matches. And if they _do_ run into a few bad apples with some snide and unwelcome remarks on their tongues every now and those people are _still_ on the other side of the net and his team is always there to back him up. 

Especially Iwaizumi, who has told other alphas to stop their sexist bullshit and try to actually beat them more times than Oikawa can actually count.

That normally shuts them up.

Iwaizumi is normally intimidating even without his sharp glances and brash words, carrying himself with an air of confidence that more often than not makes other alpha’s step out of his way in a sign of both respect and submission. So being on the receiving end when Iwaizumi is actually worked up over something is frightening to say the least, trust him. Oikawa knows what he is talking about first hand.

The difference between him and the strangers however is that even when aggravated Iwaizumi still treats him gently and like a person. Even when Iwaizumi is angry with him there is still layers to the alpha’s displeasure. His annoyance filtered through worry over whatever Oikawa has done this time around, or lightly subdued by their shared past. Iwaizumi might not actually look like it on the outside, but Oikawa also knows that despite popular belief and his own tendency to call Iwaizumi a grump the alpha is actually nothing of the sort, especially to the people that are important to him.

Strangers that feels the need to open their mouths to harass Oikawa and their team however, not so much.

So Oikawa knows that he is safe in the gymnasium, even though he is literally surrounded by alphas. That even if something were to happen Iwaizumi would defend him at a moments notice, not only verbally but also physically if it was never needed of him but thankfully that has never been needed.

That doesn’t mean their opponents raging scents doesn’t affect him, and for some reason during todays training camp in the midst of summer Oikawa feels especially drained. It’s only the first day, but the humidity in the air is already high and awful even without the myriads scents of alpha’s mingling anywhere.

The training camp in question is a joint affair together with the strongest teams in the prefectures close to their own and frankly, so far it has been a fantastic opportunity for their team as a whole. Oikawa can practically see his players growing and evolving with every single match their play.

It makes him excited. 

Makes all of them excited. Makes scents run wild and makes Oikawa’s head fuzzy from the smell of it all alone.

He needs air.

So the omega skips out on joining the rest of his team when it becomes time for lunch, opting for sneaking outside instead. The area around the gymnasium is obviously a lost cause unless he wants to be found immediately but he had also taken notice of a small green area behind one of the school’s other buildings earlier and the Oikawa finds himself wandering there and settling down underneath one of the trees with a tired sigh. 

He knows that Iwaizumi will chew him out for not eating and taking care of himself properly and whatnot later, but for now he lets himself lean back against the trunk of the tree and close his eyes.

There is a nice breeze going on out here and its cleaning out his airways, clears up his mind until he can think properly once more, until he feels like himself once again without all the different scents wrapping tightly around him until he feels like he is about to burst.

“Tooru?”

The voice is alien yet strangely familiar to him at the same time and Oikawa creeks open a tired eye as he searches for who had spoken to him and gaze lands on a tall form positioned few paces away from him. The girl in question is beautiful and carries herself with the knowledge that she is, slender yet muscularly built with hair the color of wet ink just waiting for a brush to dip into it and spread it out over paper.

There is something with her that picks at him, something with the sharp, prominent angle of her jaw and her soft hazel eyes but Oikawa just isn’t sure _what_.

And then the breeze shifts and oh, he knows that scent.

“Mika-chin?”

The slight hesitation that had been present on her face up until now evaporates into the air between them as Oikawa calls her by her name and the girl smiles brightly and then all the memories comes flooding back to him at the same time. Days spent playing in the sun and in each others houses. Secrets whispered in the night during sleepovers when they tried to stay up way past their bedtime even though they could hardly keep their droopy little eyes open.

Tears as summer became fall and fall became winter and with it the fact that the girls family moved out and away from Oikawa’s live altogether.

“I guess you never stopped playing huh?” Mika says with a nod towards his training clothes before she sits down in front of him and Oikawa can’t help but tilt his head to the side and let his eyes wander over her own uniform with a slow blink.

“Neither did you,” he points out and Mika laughs at that, something soft yet still bitter.

“Well, it turns out that I am decent at it. Probably because of all the time I was forced to spend playing with you guys back when we were kids,” Mika grins. “But if I am going to be completely honest I am just doing it for the extra credits these days. Once I become a third year I am going to solely focus on my studies.”

Oikawa hums softly in reply. It’s not uncommon after all, university exams are harsh and after the second year there is little to no merit in continuing your club activities unless you are intending to go pro. Still, just the fact that Mika had continued playing even after having moved away from them made him strangely warm on the inside.

“I was never into it as much as the two of you after all,” Mika says before stopping as if she suddenly remembers something. “Oh, by the way, is Hajime still playing?” 

“Yeah,” Oikawa confirms. “Same team too.”

“Still joined by the hips then?” Mika says with an amused laugh as she puts her arms over hear head and stretches them with a quiet grunt. “I guess that some things never do change huh.”

“That isn’t true,” Oikawa counters, because it’s isn’t. Not completely at least. Sure, some things might not have changed since they were kids, but others most certainly had. “After all, I am out here all by myself while Iwa-chan is somewhere else, doing god knows what.”

“Probably looking for you,” Mika snorts and Oikawa finds himself bursting out laughing as well before scooting over as Mika shifts around until she is sitting next to him instead, both of their backs leaning comfortable against the trunk of the tree.

“Probably,” Oikawa hums out in agreement once they are settled one more.

“It was the same back then too,” Mika continues softly before letting out a laugh. “Always with the ‘ _shittykawa_ ’ this or ’ _lazykawa_ ’ that-, or the other way around. You guys ever only had eyes for one another. Way to make a girl feel like the third wheel.”

Oikawa snorts before elbowing her lightly. “Comes from the one that one day just straight up decided that she would marry Iwa-chan once we grew up.”

“Oh, I remember that,” Mika laughs. “And then you got all sulky and said that if _anyone_ was to marry Hajime it was you. And then the two of us tried to make him choose which one of us that he wanted to marry, and it all ended with you and me in tears because Hajime said that we were _both gross_ and that he downright refused to marry either of us.”

“Well, to be fair I wouldn’t have wanted to marry myself back then either,” Oikawa ads in together with more laughter before he leans further back against the trunk of the tree, his eyes closing momentarily as a gust of wind blows past them.

“Same.”

“Still completely broke my poor, innocent little heart though.”

“Same, never quite got over it either,” Mika giggles.

“Same.”

They spend some more time laughing and reminiscing, sharing small little tidbits and memories about their shared past together with small little touches. An elbow to the rib there, a cheek lightly nudging a shoulder there and Oikawa quickly realizes how easy it is to talk with Mika, their conversation flowing effortlessly through the summer air as if the years they had spent apart had never really happened in the first place.

When had her family moved to Tokyo again? Somewhere between elementary and middle school maybe, not that he is completely sure considering it was such a long time ago now. 

Something about her father getting a job transfer he thinks but he could be wrong because all Oikawa really remembers from back then is a hell of a lot of crying and forcing Iwaizumi to swear to him over and over again that the alpha wouldn’t leave him too.

“You know, I used to think that if I had just been born an omega Hajime would have wanted me,” Mika says a moment later, breaking Oikawa’s train of thoughts once more and for some reason the omega finds himself laughing at that too.

“Doubtful,” Oikawa tells her while he lightly nudges her elbow with his own. “Iwa-chan still wants nothing to do with me to this day, even though I try. We could always change though. Being an alpha sounds nice.”

And it did. 

Not having to deal with heats sounded more than nice. Not having to deal with overpowering scents that made his head spin and alphas sending him one coy glance too many.

“I don’t think that that has much to do with you being an omega as much as your awful personality,” Mika jokes and Oikawa laughs softly at that, not even offended at the banter thrown at him. It might have been years since they both saw one another but they both know that if Iwaizumi actually didn’t like someone the alpha wouldn’t bother putting up with their shit in the first place.

Did Iwaizumi find him annoying at times? Absolutely. But Oikawa knew that the big gruff still had a soft spot for him-, his shenanigans included.

“...and it’s not like being an alpha is exactly fun either, but Hajime has probably told you that a million times already,” Mika continues, catching his attention once more and Oikawa turns his head towards her and raises an eyebrow in question because while he knew that being an alpha most likely had its own setbacks as well, it was also not really something Iwaizumi had actually talked to him about either.

“Not really, no,” Oikawa says truthfully, and there is a clench in his stomach as he admits it out loud and all of a sudden he feels strangely empty. The sudden knowledge that Iwaizumi isn’t confiding in him _tears_ at him because why hasn’t he, and why is Oikawa only realizing this now?

“No?” Mika asks, sounding almost baffled as he feels as she shifts until they are facing one another once more. “Don’t you guys talk about that stuff?”

“No?” Oikawa says once more, feeling like a broken recorded as Mika blinks at him.

“Why?”

Oikawa shrugs his shoulders because he _doesn’t_ know and actually, the more he thinks more about it the weirder it sounds. They were supposed to be friends right, he and Iwaizumi and it wasn’t like Oikawa _hadn’t_ whined about his omegan problems to the other on more than one occasion so why _didn’t they?_

  
________________________

Iwaizumi is fucking pissed. 

They are literally _one fucking day_ into the training camp and Oikawa has already managed to sneak away to fuck knows where.

One. Fucking. Day.

Would it fucking kill the shithead to at least _try_ and get his shit together before weaseling off and leaving Iwaizumi to deal with the aftermath?

Oikawa would literally give anyone else on their team a living hell for skipping out on eating and taking proper care of themselves between practices, but for some fucking reason those rules never seems to be something the omega feels like has to follow himself.

Iwaizumi doesn’t give a shit about what his reasons are this time around. If Oikawa has any issues he should just swallow his fucking pride and tell someone-, preferably Iwaizumi, so that the alpha can do something productive to actually help the idiot instead of spending his entire fucking break trying to track him down.

Iwaizumi is too fucking old for this shit.

No, scratch that. _Oikawa_ is too fucking old for this shit. It’s not like they are kids anymore and Iwaizumi seriously and strongly believes that the brat should really know better than to keep pulling this shit by now.

And yet Iwaizumi is not in the cafeteria with the rest of their damn team, but out here looking for the idiot. Chasing the small tendrils of Oikawa’s scent all the way from the gymnasium to god knows where because Oikawa is a hopeless knucklehead that apparently still isn’t mentally old enough to take proper care of himself.

Fucking hell.

Iwaizumi turns the corner of another building, his eyes scurrying the new surroundings before finally catching sight of a familiar tuft or brown hair and he allows himself to let out a sigh of relief because fucking _finally._ Iwaizumi doesn’t even want to know how much time he has wasted looking for the moron while the idiot has been doing nothing but lazing around and-

Wait, who the fuck is that?

The alpha narrows his eyes as he takes in the two strangers lounging around under the tree, their body language way too comfortable for two people that has just met, and yet Iwaizumi is pretty damn certain that he has never seen the chick before in his life.

Great. He lets Oikawa out of his sight for two fucking minutes, miles away from their prefecture and yet Oikawa somehow has not only managed to sneak off, he has also already another one of his annoying ass fangirls wrapped around his damn finger.

Iwaizumi clenches his jaw as he watches the two of them interact. The girl is pretty, he will give her that but honestly, they all are and why the hell they keep flocking around Oikawa is beyond him because they could all seriously do so much better then the airhead.

It’s first then that the direction changes and Iwaizumi unconsciously furrows his brows as not only Oikawa’s familiar scent reaches him, but a sharp tang of the other’s scent as well.

So she is not a beta. Not even an omega.

She is apparently an _alpha,_ and for some reason that sits strangely uneasy with him. Which is fucking weird because it’s not like Oikawa hasn’t dated before. Over the years Iwaizumi has simply come to learn that Oikawa doesn’t really seem to have much of a preference when it comes to his partners. There has been both betas and omegas, girls and boys alike but it had never really been very serious, had never been more than a few dates before they broke up and _never_ another alpha.

It shouldn’t bother him. Oikawa isn’t _his_ , something that Iwaizumi knows way too fucking well.

And yet, for some stupid ass reason it _fucking does_.

And what maybe pisses the alpha off the most is that Iwaizumi has never really cared about what anyone _were_ before. As far as he is concerned omega’s and beta’s could be assholes just as much as alpha’s could. Genetics had has nothing to do with if you are a shithead or not.

He has never cared before, and now for whatever reason he suddenly does.

“The fuck are you doing?” he snaps while stomping closer to the pair. There are two heads snapping to attention his way, two pair of wide and hazel eyes scanning him in unison and if Iwaizumi wasn’t pissed before he sure as hell is now. “Do you have any fucking idea how much time I have wasted looking for you?”

For a moment none of them says anything but Iwaizumi notices that Oikawa at least has the courtesy to offer him an apolitical smile. But then he also catches the girl leaning over and mumbling a ‘ _I told you so,’_ into Oikawa’s ear, and the shithead has the gall to burst out laughing at him.

Iwaizumi is pretty certain that he pops a vein. At least _it feels_ like he does.

“Do you find this funny somehow?” Iwaizumi snarls but for some reason that only make the pair laugh at him even harder. The fuck?

“Wow, some things _really_ never change,” the alphan girl says and it would be impossible for Iwaizumi to miss the way she wipes a wayward tear from the corner of her eyes. “I am happy to see that you are still as much of a grouch as you always were, Hajime.”

Iwaizumi catches himself gritting his teeth. He doesn’t know this person, whoever the fuck she is-, and he most certainly does _not_ appreciate her calling him by his first name, however the fuck she knows about it.

“ _Iwa-chan_ ,” Oikawa coos and Iwaizumi hates the expression the other is currently wearing. It’s the brunette’s trademark full-of-himself-I-know-something-that-you-don’t face and it always make Iwaizumi feel like he is the butt-end of a joke. Which, considering that both of them have already straight up laughed at him multiple times since he got here probably isn’t that far off the mark.

“Don’t tell me that you forgot all about Mika-chin,” Oikawa says and Iwaizumi brows furrows because there is something familiar with that name, something that he probably should know of and ah-, _that_ Mika- _chin_.

“You didn’t recognize me at first too you know,” Mika says towards Oikawa with a faked pout before stealing back Oikawa’s attention with a nudge of her elbow against the omega’s side.

“I still got it in the end though, so it doesn’t count. I was just so surprised that my brain needed a moment to actually process it, that’s all,” Oikawa counters together with an elbow-nudge of his own and Iwaizumi suddenly feels something within him snap.

“None of that changes the fucking fact that you are trying to _skip out on_ lunch, now does it?” Iwaizumi bites out, watching the way Oikawa’s body jerks in response to his tone before tensing up ever so lightly. Iwaizumi hadn’t actually meant to sound as vexed as he ended up doing but it’s done, and he has no plans to take it back or try and lighten the blow. It’s not like Oikawa didn’t have it coming anyway.

“That isn’t-,” Oikawa starts but Iwaizumi immediately cuts him off.

“No?” he asks, making sure to leave no room for argument in his voice. “Because our break is over in about another twenty minutes, and as far as I am concerned you still _haven’t eaten_ , now have you?”

There is an audible ‘ _gulp_ ’ as Oikawa swallows around nothing and Iwaizumi watches the way the omega starts worrying his lower lip between his teeth.

“Well, I-,” Oikawa starts before stopping himself, a deep frown growing between his brows. “I mean...”

“You should probably go and get something to eat then, right Tooru?” Mika cuts in, catching both of their attention. “We are all going to be here for the rest of the week right? We will have plenty of time to catch up with one another.”

Iwaizumi doesn’t understand why, but for some reason he really doesn’t like the sound of that.

Oikawa on the other hand lights up like a fucking Christmas tree, because of course he fucking does.

“Yeah!” Oikawa says cheerfully before pushing off the ground until he is standing next to Iwaizumi. “We will see you later then!”

They say their goodbyes before Iwaizumi all but drags Oikawa away by reminding him that the clock is still ticking and in the end Oikawa lets him, albeit reluctantly. And all the way to the cafeteria he just won’t shut the hell up about their old friend. Won’t stop running his damn mouth even when it’s filled to the brim with food.

And through it all, over Oikawa’s familiar scent is the faint tone of verbena and for some reason it’s driving Iwaizumi fucking insane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So people might be wondering if Iwaizumi has dated too, and well, probably. After all, this fic are already sprawling out over half a decade of their lives, if not more and they are still growing, still figuring things out as they go along-, unable to sort through and understand how deep their feelings of actually runs for one another yet.
> 
> I would like to think that Iwaizumi got confessed to by a girl at some point and that he liked her good enough so he ended up accepting but that he quickly realized that liking someone and liking someone really is two completely different things and broke it off.
> 
> In the end it doesn’t really matter though. There is not going to be any more mentions of past relationships from now on in this fic anyway. But yeah, that happened I guess?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, the support and love I keep getting from your all is frankly overwhelming and I don’t know what to do with at and all I can really say is thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
> 
> I originally envisioned this chapter to be completely different. But shit happened so strap in I guess because things are about to get wild.

Lunch is an awkward affair.

It’s tense and awful and Oikawa honestly doesn’t understand what has gotten Iwaizumi’s pants in a snag this time around. Normally the alpha’s sour mood is easily traceable to something he has done, or whatever shit Makki and Mattsun has put him through.

But this time it seems like Iwaizumi is grumpier than ever for and sure-, Oikawa did try and skip out on lunch or whatever, but normally Iwaizumi forgives him once the alpha has deemed that Oikawa has stuffed enough food into his mouth. And let’s be honest, it’s not like it’s the first time that Oikawa has pulled something like this and yet Iwaizumi has never reacted quite this- well, strongly before.

Okay, so maybe _strongly_ isn’t the correct word to use but frankly, Oikawa has no other idea how to describe it by this point so ‘ _strongly_ ’ will just have to do because figuring out how to turn Iwaizumi back to his normally grumpy self and not _this_ -, well, whatever _this_ _is_ is Oikawa’s priority right now.

It’s like Iwaizumi’s temper is just getting worse by the hour, no matter what Oikawa does in order to try and curb it. The omega has even been on his best behavior for once, staying clear of deliberately messing with the alpha and keeping his normal teasing comments to a minimum.

And yet there is an unmistakable and ever present clench to Iwaizumi’s jaw. An annoyed furrow deeply lodged between his brows. Oikawa has also not failed to notice how Iwaizumi also has a tendency to snap more easily than what the alpha normally does at both him and their teammates. Harsh and sharp words dripping from his mouth, the steps with which he carries himself just a little bit louder, his movements the slightest bit jerkier. 

There is something cold in the alpha’s eyes whenever Oikawa catches him staring at him-, a tang of something murky and bitter woven into the smell of pine.

Oikawa can’t quite place it, but for some reason he really doesn’t like it.

“Okay seriously, what’s up with Iwaizumi?” Hanamaki asks him when they wrap up after the last of the days training and Oikawa pouts before throwing a glance at the alpha in question over his shoulder who currently trying to get Kunimi to actually help cleaning up for once.

Oikawa has a feeling it’s going to be just as much of a lost cause as it always is.

“How should I know?” Oikawa counters with a loud huff that makes both Hanamaki and Matsukawa quirk up a brow at him in perfect unison. “It’s not like he tells me anything.”

Oikawa knows that he is being childish and that it isn’t quite true. They do talk and Iwaizumi _does_ tell him stuff, but for some reason Mika’s words have been struck in his head for the last couple of days, unable to leave him alone.

‘ _Don’t you guys talk about that stuff?’_

He knows that Iwaizumi isn’t the most, well, talkative type when it come down to mindless chit-chat and things that happens to bother him one way or another, much preferring to take a straight approach to his problems. But even then Oikawa had thought that he had been the exception to that rule. Had thought that Iwaizumi felt like he could confine in him in the way that Oikawa feels that Iwaizumi always has his back.

That-...

Well, none of that really matters anymore, now does it.

Hanamaki has slung an arm over Matsukawa’s shoulder and the male is currently lazily slouching against their friend as the duo watches Oikawa with light curiosity in their eyes. For a moment no one says anything, and then Hanamaki opens his mouth as if to speak but before he has a chance Iwaizumi’s voice rings through the air, interrupting them.

“Shittykawa, food.”

Oikawa’s body jolts into action as his name is called in a voice that leaves no room for argument, and he finds himself turning around on the spot to try and catch the others gaze with his own but Iwaizumi has already turned his back to him and is making his way towards the gymnasiums entrance, evidently expecting him to follow.

That’s another thing that has been happening ever since Oikawa pulled that little stunt the first day of the camp. Iwaizumi has been bossing him around like this outside of their scheduled practice, ordering him to eat and rest and whatnot-, which in hindsight Oikawa probably deserves, but still.

The first time the alpha had done it Oikawa couldn’t help himself but to ask him if Iwaizumi ‘ _was his mom or something_ ’, but the deadpanned expression Iwaizumi had given him in return had made him quickly choking down on his words.

He wanted to hang out with Mika, the three of them just like in the old days but sadly the opportunity hasn’t presented itself yet, no thanks to Iwaizumi, thank you very much. It’s however not very surprising considering that just as Iwaizumi had said the day he had all but dragged Oikawa away from her; they are here to train, not to make friends and while he to some degree agree with the alpha’s logic Oikawa would also kind of like to actually hang out properly at least once before camp ends. 

Well, they still have some days left and the omega is dead seat on getting the three of them together at least once before then, but to make that happen he kind of needs to figure out what the hell is currently going on with Iwaizumi first.

At least he and Mika had gotten around to exchanging phone numbers so if nothing else the omega has that going for him, and Oikawa has spent most evenings so far texting with her until Iwaizumi has had enough and taken his phone away and telling him to go the fuck to sleep already.

Oikawa still doesn’t understand just why Iwaizumi is so damn pissed- and he is still pretty upset himself if he is going to be honest. And Oikawa _could_ just blatantly ignore the other and let him stomp away by himself to wherever. But Oikawa also knows that if he ever wants to get to the bottom of this, or _to not_ have what Hanamaki has started calling Mount Iwaizumi erupt in the the middle of camp he has no choice but follow.

So Oikawa quickly gathers his things as quickly as he can before throwing his bag over his shoulder and rushing after the alpha with a shout of ‘w _ait up then already Iwa-chan’_ falling from his lips.

And well.

Well.

Oikawa is not going to lie. He doesn’t like this version of Iwa-chan.

But.

_But._

There is _something_ with the way Iwaizumi stands just a bit closer to him whenever the chance is given. Something with the way that the alpha had placed himself between Mika and Oikawa that one other time that they had happened to run into one another outside of the cafeteria.

But maybe more than anything there is _something_ with the way he can see Iwaizumi close to ripping off his scent patch they are forced to wear during practice the moment he steps out of the gymnasium.

Something with the way the alpha’s smells rolls of him so strongly that Oikawa has to steady himself by gripping tightly at the door frame and give his poor body a moment to keep up with it all.

It’s dark and sharp and so very different from how Iwaizumi usually smells, but it’s strangely good too. Makes him feel weirdly safe and Oikawa can’t help but think that if he only had that scent around him his head might not turn so hazy between and after practice.

Or maybe it would, but for some reason he doesn’t think he would mind too much.

It’s seems to be growing too. Every day a little heavier, every day a little stronger and Oikawa can’t help but wonder how much more it can grow before it will burst all together.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa calls once more, his fingers wrapped tightly around the wooden frame and this time Iwaizumi actually does come to an halt before throwing him an irritated glance over his shoulder.

“ _What_?”

Honestly there is so many ‘ _what_ s’ on his mind at the moment that Oikawa doesn’t even know where to begin anymore.

_What’s going on?_

_What are you thinking about?_

And maybe most importantly; _why won’t you talk to me_?

But in the end the omega says none of it because none of it is going to help. Instead he just puts on his widest and brightest grin that makes Iwaizumi scoff at him by the sight of it alone.

“You need to stop doing that Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says firmly as he pushes away from the frame and saunters over to his friend. “I am not _a dog_ , and the very least you can do after asking me to come with you is to give me sufficient time to get ready.”

Iwaizumi just runs his gaze over his frame before giving a pointedly look towards Oikawa’s bag. “Seems sufficient enough to me,” he says.

Oikawa huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “It’s not! I didn’t even get to say a proper goodbye to Makki and Mattsun and-,”

“You are literally going to see them later back in the sleeping quarters,” Iwaizumi points out with a roll of his eyes before starting to walk away once more and Oikawa curses as he hurries after, a pout growing on his face by the second.

“Yeah well, maybe we were in the middle of something! Maybe I wanted to eat dinner with _someone else_ than you for a change,” Oikawa yells out as he catches up to his friend and he reaches out impatiently to tug at the sleeve of Iwaizumi’s jersey. “Maybe-,”

There is a low growl leaving Iwaizumi’s mouth and Oikawa is not completely sure how it happens but in one moment he is trailing after Iwaizumi, throwing one insult after the other and in the other he is pressed up against the wall of the back of the gymnasium building with Iwaizumi face hovering just a few inches from his own.

It feels like the breath has been knocked out of him, but strangely enough he doesn’t think that it’s from being close to slammed against the buildings wall, but something else entirely.

Something that has to do with how close they are standing, something with the way the omega can almost feel the heat of Iwaizumi’s skin against his own even through their clothes. Something with the way the alpha’s breath is brushing past the lower parts of the omega’s face.

He is still a few inches taller than the other and yet Oikawa can’t help but feel small.

 _Why is that?_ he thinks to himself as in a daze.

“Like who?” the Iwaizumi asks bitterly but Oikawa is too busy with the way Iwaizumi’s scent is swirling all around him for him to be able to pay any attention to what the alpha is currently saying.

Iwaizumi’s scent is dark and if Oikawa didn’t know better-, _possessive_ and its making him feel things-, so many things. Most of them things the omega only feels when his heat hits him low and deep and it’s all so very confusing but still somehow strangely good too.

Mostly because he is not _alone_ right now like he normally is inside his little nest when his heat comes, and _none_ of the clothes he has stolen from Iwaizumi over the years has _ever_ smelled like this and it’s making his throat feel weirdly thick, like something sticky and rough like sandpaper is struck in there.

He-

They _._

_Why?_

“Like Mika?”

“Huh?” Oikawa says with a blink at the way Iwaizumi snaps at him-, too caught up in the way his back is pressed tightly against the rough and cold wall he is forced up against. To hyper-focused on where Iwaizumi’s hand is pressing tightly against his chest, the alpha’s large and rough hand curled up and around his shoulder, holding him in place. 

They are so big, Iwaizumi’s hands. So much larger than Oikawa’s own and positively scorching where they connect with him and Oikawa can’t help but wonder how much more it would burn if the palms of Iwaizumi’s hands were pressed directly against his skin without the layers of fabric separating them.

Why?

Why, why, _why?_

“Would you rather eat together with her then, is that what you telling me?” Iwaizumi asks with a low growl and Oikawa scrunches his nose because that is not true. Sure, he wants to hang out with Mika. But he wants the three of them to hang out _together_ , so if Iwaizumi isn’t there there is just no point to it and Oikawa tells him that but that only only makes Iwaizumi scoff at him like he doesn’t believe him.

“You had no problem hanging out with her just the two of you a few days ago,” Iwaizumi points out and Oikawa finds himself blinking again. It's kind of hard to think straight when Iwaizumi’s scent is so close, when he smells _so_ _good_. At first the murky tang and the sharp undertone to it had been different and weird, clashing something awful with the way Iwaizumi normally smells but Oikawa is quickly realizing that this version is growing on him, and quickly too.

Because even if it’s different it’s still Iwaizumi. Still smells like a bit of the forest and memories in the rain.

What is going on? Because _something has to be_ because this isn’t normal, this isn’t-

“That’s just because we happened to run into one another!” Oikawa defends himself and oh, his voice sounds a bit frail now when he thinks about it, and he hadn’t really noticed before because of the way he had been pressed up against the wall but his legs are feeling strangely weak as well. 

Well, he had most likely just overdone it back in practice again, like he always does and more importantly they are _so close_ and Oikawa will never forgive himself if he doesn’t manage to burn the memory of how Iwaizumi currently smells into his mind because this scent, whatever it is has quickly gone from something he thought that he detested to something else entirely. Something that makes his heart beat heavy and loud inside his ribcage.

He feels warm. So strangely warm and everything is just a tiny bit _off_ and he doesn’t understand _why._

“Yeah, sure,” Iwaizumi mutters and Oikawa can’t even remember what they were fighting about any longer. Not that it matters. The only thing that _does matter_ is the scent around him, the presence of Iwaizumi’s body in front of him but then the alpha is shifting as if to move away and Oikawa finds himself reaching out desperately, one hand coming to clutch at the dirty and sweaty fabric of Iwaizumi’s team jersey as he tries to make him stay if just for a moment longer.

“ _Iwa-chan_ ,” Oikawa close to whimpers and there is that strange warmth again. It’s not _heat_ warm and there is not really any _need_ curling within him either but there is _something_. 

Something that he thinks might have to do with the way Iwaizumi’s current scent almost seems to be calling out to him and Oikawa feels like he is powerless to do anything else than obey.

Not that he knows what he is supposed to be obeying in the first place, but if it’s Iwa-chan Oikawa will do anything, will-

“What,” Iwaizumi grits out but Oikawa just close his eyes and whines softly-, pathetically even as he tugs on Iwaizumi’s shirt once again, not even caring how his actions come over anymore.

He doesn’t want to fight. Not anymore. Doesn’t want the alpha in front of him to be mad and filled to the brim with anger. Instead he wants to take it away, make it good. To take what he instinctively knows is currently coiled up deep inside of the alpha and make it unfurl, piece by piece until Iwaizumi is himself once more.

There is a sharp inhale of breath from Iwaizumi and Oikawa can practically feel way the air dance across his skin when the alpha breathes it out once more. He lets out another soft little noise and then there is another flare of that scent and oh, it’s still growing, still becoming muskier and muddier and Oikawa thinks that his own scent might be flickering to life too in response to the alpha’s but honestly he doesn’t even know anymore.

It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is the man in front of him, the way he smells and the way his breath is brushing across his face and Oikawa tries to pull him closer. Tries to-

“Oikawa-, what the fuck-,” Iwaizumi snaps, trying to pull away once more but Oikawa is having none of it. Instead he is letting out a broken little noise in complaint and clutching harder on the others jersey because it’s _not fair_ . Iwaizumi is the one that pressed _him_ up against the wall. Iwaizumi is the one that is letting his scent run wild. Iwaizumi is the one’s whose scent is _calling_ for him and not the other way around. 

Oikawa is just being good, or at least trying to be if the alpha would just _let him_.

“ _Iwa-chan_ ,” Oikawa tries again but there is a tinge of frustration in his voice this time around. His legs feels like jelly and _there_ _is_ a heat growing in the pit of his stomach now and everything is warm and fuzzy and his chest hurts. There is something wet starting to soak into his underwear and Iwaizumi must be smelling that too he thinks but even then it’s first when the omega clings to him and bares his neck in submission in pure instinct alone that Oikawa sees something like understanding flick across the alpha’s face as Iwaizumi manages to put two and two together.

“ _Shit-,”_ the alpha bites out before taking a staggering step away, trying to pry Oikawa’s hand off of him. “ _Fuck_. Oikawa I am sorry, I didn’t-,” Iwaizumi grits out through clenched teeth as he manages to get Oikawa’s hand off of him only for Oikawa to curl his other hand into the fabric instead with yet another pleading little noise.

“ _Shit-_ , stop that,” Iwaizumi tells him but it makes no sense because it’s been Iwaizumi’s scent that has been telling Oikawa to do all these things all along so _why would he_ , and Oikawa tries to convey those thoughts to the alpha but the only thing that manages to escape him is more incoherent little noises as he clings to Iwaizumi’s broad form desperately.

“Oikawa, you gotta stop,” Iwaizumi close to whispers and there is something pained and restrained in the alpha’s voice that makes Oikawa creak an eye open only to come face to face with a deep furrow between Iwaizumi’s brows. 

So close. Iwaizumi is so, so _close_. 

“ _Fuck-,_ Oikawa, your scent,” the alpha growls. 

The omega just whimpers and closes his eyes again, because it’s not _his scent_ that matters but _Iwaizumi’s_ . Iwaizumi that smells all dark and possessive and _oh,_ Oikawa _has_ smelled this before hasn’t he? Just a fraction, just what his nose had been able to catch small little whiffs of during the times Iwaizumi had chosen to stay in the background and cover himself with patches in preparation of what was to come.

But it doesn’t make sense, because unlike Oikawa Iwaizumi’s rut has always come and gone like clockwork since the day the alpha had presented and even though Oikawa haven’t been keeping track-, okay, maybe just a bit, but things tends to get really lonely without Iwaizumi at times and it’s good to know so that Oikawa can make sure that he is stocked up on clothes before it happens and well-,

No. None of that matters.

What does matter is that it’s still too early, shouldn’t even be close to happening and in all the years Oikawa has known the other Iwaizumi’s rut has never differed more than a day, tops two.

And yet here they are and everything is _so confusing_ and yet nothing has made more sense in his entire life than being here in this very moment, surrounded by the scent of Iwaizumi’s rut.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa tries again and Iwaizumi curses under his breath. “Iwa-chan, _please_.”

He doesn’t even know what he is asking for anymore, all he knows is the heady feeling of want and the need to be good for the alpha in front of him-, to help because he knows that he can if Iwaizumi would just-,

He doesn’t know.

He _doesn’t know_ and it’s frustrating and _awful_ and he can’t even think straight anymore and Iwaizumi is trying to pry his hands away _again_ and for some reason that is what finally makes everything overflow.

He thinks that he might cry because Iwaizumi just won’t let him help him, won’t even _talk to him_ about _anything._

Not about why he is upset and grumpy, not _even_ about stupid alpha stuff and Oikawa feels so useless and unwanted and confused and he _can’t_.

He just can’t.

‘ _You guys don’t talk about that stuff?’_

Mika’s earlier words comes floating back to him then, and why is it that Oikawa is the one that feels like he is the one about to break when Iwaizumi is the one that’s going through his pre-rut in the first place?

“I am sorry,” Iwaizumi says again as the alpha finally manages to detangle Oikawa from himself and take a step backwards. Oikawa just whines and turns his head away in response, his breath coming out in small little pants as he desperately fights the tears that are threatening to burst forth, his small hands fisting tightly at his sides.

“I was so caught up with stuff that didn’t even notice,” Iwaizumi says. “Fuck, I don’t even-, it shouldn’t. Not yet I-, _fuck_.”

Oikawa bites back a sob and presses himself further against the wall and squeezes his eyes shut but it doesn’t help in shutting everything out. Instead it only makes everything _worse_. Makes him feel small-, but not in a good way like when he is wrapped up under the covers of his bed and with Iwaizumi’s scent pressed against his face.

This particular feeling of being small is awful and _bad_ and he positively hates it even in his current dazed state.

“Go away,” Oikawa whispers quietly and he feels so raw and vulnerable, like he is about to break at any second if he has to stay in the presence of Iwaizumi any longer.

“Oikawa-,”

“Go _away,_ ” Oikawa close to shrieks before sweeping out with an arm, causing Iwaizumi to take another step backwards before the alpha manages to catch his wrist in the palm of his hand with a grunt and for a moment everything pauses as they just stare at one another.

There is a breeze of fresh air blowing past just then and it clears his head a little, makes it a bit easier to think, allows him to sort through his thoughts properly even though the haze Iwaizumi’s scent put him in is still very much there. 

But it’s enough an Oikawa jerks his hand away with a huff before turning his gaze away and repeating himself once more. “Just go away Iwa-chan.”

“Look,” Iwaizumi says. “I am sorry alright, but it’s not like-”

“I don’t _care about that,”_ he says because it’s not like Iwaizumi has much say in when his ruts comes anyway. Just like Oikawa's own heats likes to come and do whatever the hell it pleases- whenever it pleases.

That isn’t it-, Oikawa could never be upset with Iwaizumi because of _that_ and just the thought of that the alpha thinks that that is the reason why he is upset with him makes Oikawa laugh dryly because _as if_.

Iwaizumi pauses at that and there is something hesitant and maybe a bit confused passing over the alpha’s face and Oikawa finds himself speaking up once more in a low and quiet voice.

“You always do this,” Oikawa says while the crease between Iwaizumi’s brows only deepens. “Always closing off-, never telling me _anything.”_

“That isn’t true.”

“No? What about these last couple of days then, huh Iwa-chan?” Oikawa counters before throwing him an angry glare. “Or are you going to tell me some bullshit story about how you have been acting up is just my imagination or something?”

Iwaizumi doesn’t reply this time around, but it doesn’t matter because the unmistakable clench to the alpha’s jaw is more than Oikawa needs in terms of response anyway.

“I always tell you _everything_ ,” Oikawa grits out, spurred on by the moment. “Like sure, I whine and bitch and complain while I do it, but I _tell you things_ and you just-,”

“Do you really?” Iwaizumi interrupts him, the alpha’s green eyes narrowing dangerously as he close to pins Oikawa to the wall behind him with his gaze alone.

There is something in Iwaizumi’s tone that makes Oikawa feel tiny, like a deer caught in the headlight and he feels himself swallow thickly because no, he doesn’t. Not really.

At least not about the clothes that are currently hidden away in the depths of his wardrobe. The clothes that belongs to the man in front of him. But Iwaizumi doesn’t know that. _Can’t_ know that and Oikawa sure as hell isn’t going to tell him-, and _especially_ not right now.

“Everything that is _important_ ,” Oikawa ends up saying stubbornly, and it’s close enough to the truth that he doesn’t even feel bad about lying about it.

The clothes stealing thing is just something that Oikawa _does_ , something that he has been doing for a long time now and it’s _not important._ At least that’s what he tells himself. It’s kind of hard though with the way Iwaizumi’s potent scent is still moving through the air around them in lazy tendrils even if the alpha has it mostly under control now compared to what it was before.

“I told you about my heats, now didn’t I?” Oikawa continues instead. “I told you about kids. I told you about so many things and you what? Didn’t as much as to try to put your feelings into words when your grandma passed?”

It’s a low blow, Oikawa knows it long before Iwaizumi’s expression turns bitter, long before his scent flares. Knows that the two of them deals with their troubles differently and that the alpha _had_ allowed himself to be vulnerable in Oikawa’s presence back then. Knows that Iwaizumi had silently asked for both his help and comfort with actions rather than words long before Iwaizumi reaches out and grabs his shoulder and slams him harshly against the wall once more.

“The _fuck is your problem?_ ” Iwaizumi snarls and Oikawa lets out a gasps as his back connects violently with the hard and unforgiving surface behind him. Whatever he had been planning to say thereafter is now long forgotten because Iwaizumi’s scent is all around him once more, strong and _angry._ Threatening to pull the omega down and under _again_ and it almost does- and he feels like he is slowly drowning as his brain is slowly being wrapped up in cotton.

Things are hazy again, nice.

And it smells _so good_ and he can’t think, can’t even breathe.

“Iwa...chan...”

There is an annoyed click of the alpha’s tongue and then Iwaizumi is stepping away once more and giving him space. Oikawa realizes that he should probably feel some kind of relief at being able to think once again that but all the he is currently feeling is emptiness and a indescribable craving to be wrapped up tightly in the other’s scent once more.

Oikawa sputters pathetically as his body remembers how to breathe, his small hand reaching up to clutch at the fabric over his chest and it _hurts_. It hurts so much. It clenches and tears and he hunches over- panting softly as everything spins and through it all is one persistent and clear voice cutting through the haze, making everything a million times worse.

‘ _Don’t you guys talk about that stuff?’_

Oikawa fights back the broken noise that is currently trying to make its way up his throat but some of it escapes anyway, strangled and pitiful and he grimaces and clutches at his chest harder trying to make it all go away.

“Oikawa-”

The brunette raises his head just in time to see Iwaizumi reaching out hesitantly towards him, but then the alpha is frowning and withdrawing his hand once more, careful to keep his distance and to not overwhelm him with his scent anymore.

A part of him is thankfully for the consideration Iwaizumi is showing him, but another part of him absolutely loathes him for it as well. He wants Iwaizumi to snap and snarl, wants him to press him further up against the hard surface behind him. Wants him to-

“What’s going on?” Iwaizumi asks and Oikawa despises just about everything about the other in that moment because leave it to Iwaizumi to not be an ass when Oikawa needs him too. Leave it to Iwaizumi to take a step back instead of forward, to put Oikawa first instead of just snapping back at him in rage as Oikawa wants him to.

Iwaizumi is in his pre-rut for fucks sake. The alpha _should_ be easily agitated, prone to violence. Should be pushing Oikawa back up against the wall until he passes out from lack of oxygen because of the shit that he has been saying to him.

Oikawa can deal with anger.

He _wants_ to deal with anger.

Anger is easy. Anger allows him to be angry too. Anger allows him to claw and yell until his throat is raw from screaming, putting a voice to the myriad of emotions currently swirling around inside of him. He is so fucking frustrated and confused and he needs it all to _go away-_ needs to howl until there is nothing left of him but an empty shell but leave it to fucking Iwaizumi to not even let him have that.

“I _told you_ ,” Oikawa spits out at him.

“Like hell you did,” Iwaizumi says before he crosses his arms over his chest and fixing Oikawa with his eyes with an unwavering gaze. “You are the one the wanted to talk. So talk.”

Oikawa grits his teeth and sticks out his chin in defiance because he doesn’t want to talk, not anymore. He is hurting and some petty part of him wants Iwaizumi to be hurting too. 

“ _No,_ ” Oikawa says, causing Iwaizumi to furrow his brows before scoffing at him loudly.

“I am not a mind reader for fucks sake,” Iwaizumi snarls.

“Well, join the _fucking club._ ”

“The hell is going on with you?”

“No, what the hell is _going on with you?!”_ Oikawa shoots back.

“That’s _none of your fucking business_ ,” Iwaizumi finally snaps at him and Oikawa freezes as he does, the omega’s next insult already dying on his lips before he even has a chance to utter it.

“ _What_ ,” he says instead and Oikawa had thought that he had hit the bottom as far as feeling like utter shit goes already, but nothing could ever prepare him for the betrayal he is feeling with Iwaizumi telling him that straight to his face.

“You heard me.”

Oikawa finds himself inhaling sharply, the hand not clutching at his chest reaching out behind him to steady himself against the wall. He can’t help but think that there has to be something on his face that gives away how utterly sick he feels right now because in that moment he catches something flickering across the alpha’s eyes and then Iwaizumi’s hard gaze is softening ever so slightly as he looks at him.

“Oikawa-,”

“ _No,”_ Oikawa yells before Iwaizumi gets the chance to explain or correct himself because he can’t, he just _can’t._ “Fuck you. Seriously, _fuck you_.”

‘ _You guys don’t talk about that stuff?’_ comes Mika’s voice again, pungent and uninvited and Oikawa thinks that he might throw up as he feels the bitter taste of bile in the back of his throat. “Fuck you for not trusting me. Fuck you for never telling me anything.”

“The hell are you blabbering about?” Iwaizumi growls but Oikawa isn’t listening, not anymore. Instead he is taking a step forward before violently shoving his hands into Iwaizumi’s chest-, trying to get some kind of outlet for the anger current coursing through his veins. It lasts for another push and then Iwaizumi manages to catch both of his wrists in his hands and Oikawa hisses and curses in response, jerks and pulls as he tries to get free but Iwaizumi’s hold on his wrist remains unmoving. The alpha’s calloused palms feels like fire on his skin, rubbing him raw.

“Fucking chill already,” Iwaizumi says but Oikawa is having none of it and he screams in frustrations, tugs and wrenches with all the strength he can muster but Iwaizumi has his hands in an iron grip and he just won’t let him go.

Oikawa throat feels thick and his eyes are burning and why won’t he just _fucking let him go_.

“ _Fuck you_ ,” Oikawa repeats, desperately fighting the tears that are threatening to burst forth at any moment now as he keeps pulling at his hands but he is not really bothering to put much energy into his movements anymore because if Iwaizumi had been planning to let him go he would have done so already. The fight is starting to run out of him and now he is just feeling tired. They are just going around and around in circles without really leading anywhere and Iwaizumi still isn’t talking to him and judging by the alpha’s previous outburst Oikawa has a nagging feeling that he never will.

So what’s the point.

“Yeah, I heard you the first hundred or so times,” Iwaizumi says with a roll of his eyes. “Seriously, the hell is going on.”

Oikawa chooses to just lowers his head, hiding the quiver of his lips from Iwaizumi’s searching stare. If yelling and cussing him out doesn’t work Oikawa is just going to shut the hell up until Iwaizumi leaves him alone.

God he wants to be alone. Home and alone under under five kilos of blankets with his blinds pulled down and never having to leave the safety of his own room ever again.

“I can’t do shit about anything if you won’t fucking tell me,” Iwaizumi says and Oikawa can’t help the dry and glum laugh that leaves him.

“Funny how that works, now isn’t it,” Oikawa replies flatly as the fire that has been kindling up until now keeps dying out. He feels strangely emotionally detached from everything and he is just tired. So very, very tired. “Considering that you are the one that won’t talk to me in the first place.”

Iwaizumi sighs before finally letting go of Oikawa’s wrists but instead of doing something productive with them the omega just lets them fall uselessly to his sides dejectedly.

“I tell you stuff,” Iwaizumi finally says with a sigh. “You know I do. It’s just-,”

And Oikawa does know.

Knows that they work differently. Knows that unlike Oikawa verbally unloading his troubles on another person doesn’t actually do anything for Iwaizumi. Instead the alpha prefers rolling up his sleeves and facing whatever is causing him problems head on. 

For Oikawa talking allows himself to sort through his own thoughts on the matter as much as it’s an outlet for the feelings that he is trying to escape while Iwaizumi needs to actually do something productive or the alpha gets struck feeling like he is threading water, not moving forward.

Oikawa knows, but right now _knowing_ isn’t helping, and it certainly isn’t making him feel any better either.

He steals a glance just as Iwaizumi pulls a hand through his hair with an exhausted sigh. “Why now all of a sudden?” the alpha asks him.

“I don’t know,” Oikawa lies and Iwaizumi scoffs at him loudly before the words have fully left his mouth.

“Bullshit.” There is not even an ounce of hesitation in Iwaizumi’s voice as the other calls him out on his lie and Oikawa grits his teeth in frustration because it isn’t _fair._

“ _Fine_ ,” Oikawa gives in anyway because fuck it. “It never bothered me before because I always thought that when you needed-, _if_ you needed to unload or whatever you knew where I was. I thought that-,” Oikawa interrupts himself and scrunches his face, not completely sure how to continue from there. “...but then Mika-chin went and said-,”

“What did Mika say?” Iwaizumi cuts in and Oikawa blinks up at the other because for some reason, out of everything that has been going on _that_ is what the alpha somehow gets caught up on.

“What do you care?” Oikawa can’t help but ask, tilting his head to the side as he realizes that Iwaizumi looks just about as confused about the his own outburst as Oikawa feels.

Huh.

“Does it matter?” Iwaizumi finally says, slightly deflating where he stands and Oikawa wants to hit him. Tell him that ‘ _yes it fucking does’_ even if he himself isn’t completely sure _why_.

“Tell me,” he says instead and there is a twitch to Iwaizumi’s lips, a clench to the alpha’s jaw. A spike in his scent and for some reason it feels like Oikawa’s heart is about to jump out of his chest.

The air is heavy with something he can’t name. Something electric that makes his skin prickle. Something heavy that makes it hard to breath properly.

He is scared, he realizes. Terrified even. His body instinctively knowing that the two of them are about to head down a road there won’t be any coming back from and Oikawa isn’t sure that he is ready- that either of them are but then Iwaizumi takes a hesitant step forward. Oikawa’s eyes are glued to the way Iwaizumi’s hand is slowly but surely reaching out towards him and it takes about all the willpower that Oikawa currently possesses to not shy away from him.

He-

No _, they_.

There is something brushing against his left cheek, rough yet soft and Oikawa realizes that he suddenly can’t look away from Iwaizumi’s face. He knows that face like the back of his own hand. The chiseled jaw and the ever-present scoff that only really goes away the few times Iwaizumi actually smiles.

He likes that face. It’s familiar, _safe_ . And yet safe is the furthest thing that Oikawa feels as Iwaizumi _finally_ opens his mouth, the alpha’s lips moving to form words.

He is not sure he wants Iwaizumi to talk to him anymore because wherever this is going is uncharted terrtory and Oikawa is not sure that he is ready for what that entails. Change is scary and the only thing that has ever been constant in his life is Iwaizumi and Oikawa can’t lose that, not now. Not ever.

Anything but that.

“I-,”

“Why are you guys still hanging around here?” Comes a bright and cheerful voice and both Iwaizumi and Oikawa freezes and then the warmth against Oikawa’s cheek is gone. The omega finds himself blinking once and then twice before looking over towards where Hanamaki is currently sauntering over to them as if the wing spiker has no worries in the world with Matsukawa trailing lazily behind him.

“Didn’t you guys leave like-,” Hanamaki pauses mid-sentence and Oikawa watches as he scrunches his nose and something flickers over his friends face before Hanamaki manages to put two and two together.

“Iwaizumi, _gross_ ,” Hanamaki says as if the alpha’s scent is personally offending him. “At least put on a patch or something.”

Iwaizumi scoffs and rolls his eyes before taking a step back and Oikawa has to bite down on his lip to not say something stupid like how _not gross_ he finds Iwaizumi’s current scent because with both Makki and Mattsun around he would never be able to live it down.

“Isn’t it early though?” Matsukawa asks as he catches up to them them and Iwaizumi shrugs in response.

“Not much to do about it,” Iwaizumi replies with a huff. “Gonna need to call my parents and get home before it hits for real though.”

“Shame.”

And Oikawa can’t do anything else than agree.

What an utter shame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is just so many things going on in this chapter that I don't even know anymore, and yet they spent most of it against that damn wall. There were other things that were supposed to happen in this chapter but it’s already at 7k words so I had to cut it off (for now) for my own sanity. 
> 
> It feels like I am doing nothing but adding chapters to this fic these days. Oh well.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you mean I ‘added yet another chapter’? There has always been 13 of them, hasn’t there?
> 
> Also, I am not going to lie-, I am not very happy with how this chapter turned out but as it happens I am currently in the middle of my finals week(s) at the moment and I didn't even start editing this document until 4am something so it is what it is I guess. 
> 
> Still, I am kind of proud of myself over the fact that I actually managed to write anything at all _and_ get it up in time to keep the fics biweekly schedule. (Even if it's currently like 7h later than when I normally post, but hey, details am I right?)

Iwaizumi’s parents picks him up that afternoon and the rest of that day is a pain in the ass and Oikawa just knows that tomorrow is going to be too. The day just seems to drag on forever without Iwaizumi there because as it turns out having a grumpy and for whatever reason pissed of Iwaizumi is apparently still better than no Iwaizumi at all.

And to make matters worse that night, just like the weeks he spent without the alpha’s scent next to him when he was younger- when all of this first began Oikawa can’t sleep without Iwaizumi’s scent next to him.

He hadn’t bothered bringing any of Iwaizumi’s clothes with him to the training camp because _of course_ he hadn’t. Not only because of the possibility of _you know_ , have his little hobby found out by everyone on the team Iwaizumi included but also because Oikawa had never really needed them during camp anyway as long as he made sure he got to sleep next to his friend at night.

It was not like it anyone found it weird or anything anyway, the two of them choosing sleeping spots next to one another. The two of them had been friends for as long as either of them could remember, had slept next to one another during camps and school trips since the first one they ever participated in so why would they stop now?

During camps and Oikawa always makes sure to take a spot close to the wall. He likes the sense of safety it provides, likes the way it almost makes Iwaizumi box him in-, especially when they end up sharing sleeping quarters with not just their teammates but with another team as well. Really, it has become such an common occurrence for them that the last time Oikawa had gotten caught up with their coach and hadn’t been able to snatch his favorite spot by himself the omega had arrived to the classroom that had been put aside for them only realize that Iwaizumi had put out both their sleeping bags already, Oikawa’s own tucked in neatly between Iwaizumi’s own and a wall.

In the present Oikawa curls further into his bedding, feeling lonely with the empty space next to him and remembering how happy the alpha’s actions had made him back then. 

But Iwaizumi isn’t here right now, and Oikawa has been awake for hours, doing nothing but just staring at the wall and trying to not think too much about the dark emptiness seemingly pressing into him from behind. 

It’s an uncomfortable presence or rather, the lack _off_ a presence behind him where he feels like there should be one that tips him off. Puts his nerves on the edge and makes him unable to fall asleep.

A few meters away Kindaichi is snoring away like he has no worries in the world and further along, almost by the door there is the by now familiar rustling of fabric from Kyoutani’s never ending tossing around that normally doesn’t even bother him anymore.

The scent of old books and coffee that is Matsukawa. The light, almost inaudible mumbling little noises from something Hanamaki is dreaming about.

It’s all so familiar. All so comforting and yet it’s nowhere enough.

He needs the soft noises of Iwaizumi’s steady and even breathing next to him. Needs the smell of pine in order to calm down and Oikawa lets out a exhausted noise and throws his bedding over his head and tries to close it all out.

It doesn’t work.

Instead he spends the night sleeplessly and _remembering_. Turning every single word he and Iwaizumi had said- well, yelled to one another. Wondering what might have happened if they hadn’t been interrupted. 

Wondering what Iwaizumi had been about to say.

Oikawa doesn’t know. Isn’t sure that he _wants_ to know. All he had wanted out of this training camp in the first place had been to spend some time together with his team. For them to get better, to train and laugh and bond and drive each other nuts with teasing comments and mindless banter.

Maybe even snuggle up close to Iwaizumi at night if he felt daring and pressing his face against the alpha while he pretends to be asleep.

Don’t get him wrong, Iwaizumi’s clothes are great, but there is just _something_ about having the real thing, undiluted and _crisp_ instead of the stuffy fabrics that always seems to hold the scent of his own wardrobe one way or another.

Oikawa would be lying if he was to say that he hadn’t been looking forward to sleeping next to the alpha for at least at couple of nights. After all can’t even remember the last time they had done it anymore. 

When they had been younger sleepovers had happened almost weekly, if not more, but as they became older they had turned fewer and further between until they had stopped almost completely.

They weren’t kids anymore, and they lived close enough to one another that there really wasn’t any excuse for either of them to not pack up their stuff and head home to where they actually belonged once night came around. If he is going to be honest Oikawa had secretly been wanting Iwaizumi to ask him to stay instead of heading home for the longest of times-, but he had also been too stubborn himself to ask the same of Iwaizumi when the alpha had spent the evening at his place in return.

It was a standstill, and the last time Oikawa can even remember them sleeping in the same room was back when Iwaizumi’s parents went to visit Takeshi about half a year ago and had left their son in the care of Oikawa’s parents for the weekend.

They had spent the hours before it was time to go to bed watching netflix in Oikawa’s room perched on top of his bed and the fact that the entirety of the omega’s bed had ended up smelling like Iwaizumi for a whole week thereafter had more than made up for the fact that Iwaizumi had refused to watch the Alien trilogy with him again.

And well, Oikawa might have been to busy with pretending to fall asleep and snuggling up against Iwaizumi to pay much attention to what they had been actually watching anyway.

Not that it had been Oikawa’s fault or anything. Iwaizumi had just smelled so _nice_ and Oikawa had even fallen asleep for real at one point only to find himself waking up a few hours later with his head resting in Iwaizumi’s lap and the alpha gently but still firmly shook him awake before almost herding him too the bathroom to get ready for the night.

He remembers feeling so content back then.

Warm, with a soft smile playing on his lips as he drowsily brushed his teeth and changed into his pajamas. He remembers his had head felt light and pleasant. Almost like he feels after having curled up together with his mother and let her play with his hair for hours on end, but _better_ somehow.

Not that snuggling up against Iwaizumi was something Oikawa had done because he actually wanted to or anything, it had only been about the alpha’s scent and absolutely not because of the way he had felt against him, warm and steady. _Safe_.

At least that was what Oikawa had told himself back then but now when he is currently laying alone and all by himself in their sleeping quarters he suddenly isn’t so sure anymore.

Because now it’s not only the alpha’s normal scent that haunts him with his absence but _the other one_ as well.

The darker one.

The one that had made his hair stand on end and made him feel small and vulnerable and yet somehow safe at the same time.

The dark and beckoning call of an alpha about to go into rut.

It wasn’t like Oikawa had never smelled the scent of a pre-rut before. There had been plenty of opportunities, whiffs caught from other alpha’s back in school but he had somehow always found the murky and sharp tones disgusting. Had always been more than thankful over the fact that most if it were being covered with a patch or two as the alpha in question had walked past him in the corridor.

Iwaizumi on the other hand.

Well, he had smelt Iwaizumi too but never like _this_. It had always been in passing when Iwaizumi had walked past him just a bit too close. Briefly on the court when it would flare up for a second before being kept down once more.

It had always been gone before Oikawa could fully smell it, like a whisper in the wind. At times it had made his body freeze up momentarily as his mind tried to place what he had just caught a taste of only to give up a moment later when the omega in him had realized that there was no more to be had.

Oikawa had instinctively always known what that smell was, but it had never been enough for him to think about it, even fleetingly.

It was different now.

Now he just can’t seem get the damn thing out of his head no matter what he does.

Instead it’s calling out to him, curling under his skin and coiling in the depths of his stomach. The memories of its tones forever engraved into his mind.

It-

They...

He _doesn’t know_.

Oikawa groans and buries his head into his pillow. He _doesn’t know_ and everything is warm and disgusting for whatever reason and he feels weirdly exposed in the empty room. Feels _alone_. Like when he is far away from his nest but close to his heat even though his next heat cycle is still weeks away.

It all feels _so wrong_ . Like he is somehow out of place-, like there is somewhere else where he is supposed to be-, something else he is supposed _to do_ rather than be here, stuffed into a sleeping bag and being unable to sleep with an itch under his skin he just can’t seem to get rid of no matter how much he scratches it.

Something important.

Something that has to do with gaping hole next to him.

He doesn’t know and it’s driving him nuts and he feels alone and miserable and all he really wants is to go back home and storm into Iwaizumi’s room and _demand_ that Iwaizumi makes everything right _._ To make Oikawa’s body stop thinking about the alpha’s damn, disgusting scent already. To cross his arms over his chest and refuse to leave until Iwaizumi tells him everything that has been remained unsaid between them.

‘ _That’s none of your fucking business.’_

Well, fuck him too.

_______________________

  
  
Unsurprisingly Oikawa doesn’t get any sleep that night.

“Your form is shit,” Hanamaki tells him the next day during morning practice and it's only by a miracle that Oikawa manages to keep himself from serving a ball straight into the blonde’s ugly ass face.

The sun is bright and annoying, seemingly shining straight into his face just to fuck with him at every chance it gets and every little squeak of sneakers against the hard floor of the gymnasium is making him see red and hiss out loud. 

Oikawa is beyond tired and everything is so damn _loud,_ from the smack of skin against the ball as people train serving to the low thud as ball connects with the floor.

He feels a migraine incoming and Hanamaki is far from helping it.

“ _Your form_ is shit,” Oikawa shoots back and then scoffs loudly at the way Hanamaki breaks out in what can only be described as amused laughter. _Ass._

“Nah,” the wing spiker replies with a lazy grin as he bounces the ball against the floor and then towards him, the smirk only growing when Oikawa’s body involuntary jerks at the loud sound before scrambling to catch it with none of his normal grace. 

“My form is exemplary, so what’s up this time princess?” Hanamaki asks.

Oikawa bites back a grimace before chucking the ball straight into the wing spiker’s chest with more force than strictly necessary, rolling his eyes at the way Hanamaki huffs dramatically as if that had actually hurt him. “Don’t call me that,” he says.

“Then don’t act like it,” Hanamaki replies nonchalantly as he tucks the ball under his arm and cock his hip.

“I don’t-,” Oikawa starts but immediately cuts himself off when Hanamaki gives him a pointedly stare. “Fine. I just slept like shit last night alright? Get off my back about it already.”

Not that Oikawa has much hope of Hanamaki actually getting of his back in the first place and the grin Hanamaki gives him tells him as much.

It seems like today, just like yesterday is going to be a long ass day.

______________________________

Oikawa doesn’t know how he makes it past training that morning, or that afternoon for that matter. In fact, Oikawa can’t remember much about anything except how absolutely exhausted he is, how utterly _wrong_ everything feels and how he wants to be anywhere else except _here_.

Not that that helps. 

He wants to text Iwaizumi, wants to call him and continue where they left of and then maybe, just maybe he will be able to sleep tonight. He kind of doubts it though because Oikawa is still _here_ and Iwaizumi is not. And by now it has probably been long enough that Iwaizumi is most likely too busy with his rut to answer if Oikawa were to call him anyway.

What is Iwaizumi’s ruts like anyway he can’t help but wonder. Like sure, he knows the basics, they all do but what _else_. Is it even remotely like Oikawa’s own heat where he even loses track of time and then even himself as everything slowly but surely melts together into a warm and hazy mess, only regaining his consciousness as the hormones starts to ebb out once more.

Does the alpha feels as empty and unsatisfied as Oikawa always end up regardless of how many times he makes himself come in a row?

Never sated- always that horrible itch under his skin whispering to him that it _isn’t enough_ , that nothing ever will be and that there is nothing that he can do about it more than to just endure.

What does Iwaizumi think about anything as he jerks himself to completion, imagining and fantasizing or is he just going through the familiar motions until his body has calmed down enough so that the alpha can catch some sleep before the next spike hits.

And does he feel as gross with himself as Oikawa himself does when it’s finally over?

Oikawa doesn’t know why he suddenly cares after all these years but for some reasons he _does._ Iwaizumi’s rut is something that he has always known existed, but it is also something that Oikawa never actually thought about before. Sure Iwaizumi would disappear for a week every now and then and Oikawa would _technically_ know why. But even then the alpha’s rut had still always been something abstract-, something that just _was_ and something that he didn’t actually need to think about.

Until now that’s it.

Because now Iwaizumi’s rut is suddenly a thing that actually _exists_ , something that he has smelt- something he has caught the smallest of glimpses off and for some reason it makes Oikawa feel even more alone and awful than he already does.

Is disassociating and weird because Oikawa is _here_ , but his mind most certainly is not. If he is going to be honest it doesn’t even feel like his own damn body is here. He is just so... out of place. Like a rug has been pulled from underneath his feet-, his world turned upside down and over it all is that tiny voice telling him that this is wrong. He is not supposed to be _here_ at all but somewhere else entirely and he just _can’t_ anymore.

Can’t go to the cafeteria with he rest of his team and pretend that everything is alright as they eat dinner. Can’t go back to the classroom where they sleep and sit through another round of Hanamaki beating all of their asses in poker and swindling them out of whatever his friend can get his dirty little hands on.

He just can’t.

Instead the omega finds himself walking aimlessly through the still somewhat unfamiliar surroundings where the camp is taking place and trying to find something, _anything_ to keep his mind of things that he shouldn’t be thinking about in the first place.

Not that it helps and in the end the omega simply gives in and he ends up sinking down on a bench in one of the school’s many outside rest areas.

It’s gotten kind of dark dark while Oikawa has been wandering about and the only real source of light he has right now is from the vending machines placed straight in front of him, bathing its surroundings in a cold blue light.

He briefly finds himself wondering what the rest of his team is doing at the moment, if they are getting ready for bed and if their coach is about to arrive to count their heads and make sure they are all tucked in for the evening. In all fairness Oikawa should be there too but he just can’t bring himself to get up anymore because what’s the point anyway. 

It’s not like he is miraculously going to catch some sleep if he joins them like he is supposed to anyway. It’s more likely going to be the opposite because out here in the open it doesn’t feel like he is trapped and the like walls are trying squish him. Doesn’t feel like the black hole of an empty space next to his bedding isn’t trying to drag him down and under.

Out here the air is fresh and not so damn stuffy and at the very least he is able to breathe.

Oikawa closes his eyes and leans his head back with a heavy sigh. 

He is so tired.

“Tooru?”

Oikawa groans before forcefully cracking open a bleary eye in slight confusion. He might actually have managed to pass out for a bit he thinks because everything is pleasantly hazy and he has to squint his eyes a bit in order to see clearly, his pupils not used to the brightness around him.

He closes his eyes and groans once more, rubbing tiredly at his eyelids as he starts to come back to the present. The omega’s body is aching all over and his neck is painfully stiff and he ends up bringing his hands there next to rub at the now tender skin as he hesitantly opens his eyes.

It’s still dark out, darker than before so maybe he really did sleep, at least for a little bit. There is a faint memory of some kind of dream, pleasant and warm. Something about dark eyes and a low voice. Rough yet gentle hands taking him apart. The smell of something he can’t quite remember anymore.

“Are you okay?”

Oikawa finds himself getting pulled out of his train of thoughts, suddenly remembering the present once more. He had been asleep and then something had woken him up and the omega lets his tired eyes follow the voice until they land on sharp yet soft features. There is pale skin that seems to glow in the low light from the vending machines and the girl looks almost ethereal like that, and yet the sight in front of him makes him feel nothing.

“Mika-chin?”

Mika huffs at him in slight amusement before all but flopping down on the bench next to him and bringing with her the familiar scent of verbena. It carries so many memories, that scent. Of being young and innocent. An echo of a time where everything was simpler-, before everything changed, took a turn and became dark and convoluted.

It makes Oikawa’s chest ache.

“What’s going on?” Mika asks him when he still hasn’t replied to her question and Oikawa lets out a groan in response, averting his eyes.

“Nothing,” he lies because how can he even to begin putting something into words that he doesn’t understand himself?

“You look like shit,” Mika points out and Oikawa knows that she is right, because he sure as hell feels like it. Hasn’t felt like himself in days. How can when his entire world had been turned upside down with just a handful of seemingly harmless words.

‘ _Don’t you guys talk about that stuff?’_

“I just couldn’t sleep,” he finally settles on and it’s not the whole story but it’s the truth and just being able to say a part of it out loud is feels like a relief.

Next to him Mika hums softly, her long and slender legs pending forward and backwards just above the ground as she takes in his words. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Oikawa confirms. “Just a lot on my mind at the moment.”

“Mm... must be something big if you can’t talk to Hajime about it,” Mika says softly and Oikawa grimaces as she continues, refusing to met her eyes. “You always went running to him first no matter what. Before your mom even. Unless that somehow changed over the years.”

Oikawa wishes that he could tell her that she is wrong, that he didn’t go running to Iwaizumi for every little thing back then, that _he still_ doesn’t always turn to the alpha firstly but at this point who is he fooling anyway.

“Iwa-chan isn’t here anymore,” Oikawa says instead bitterly because that is a lot easier to talk about then having to answer the other questions Mika keeps flinging his way.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, his rut kind of started up so his parents came and picked him up yesterday before it fully hit.”

“Is that why, well-,” Mika asks while making a vague gesture towards where he is sitting and Oikawa feels his lips draw into a thin line because is he really that obvious to everyone except himself? Makki is one thing but he hasn’t really seen Mika in years and yet here she is picking up on all the little things that has mostly flown over his own head.

“No,” Oikawa says before letting out a frustrated noise because that ended up coming out a lot harsher than he had first intended. “....maybe,” he corrects himself before turning his gaze back towards her just in time to catch something akin to sympathy flash across Mika’s face and for some reason that is what makes everything start to crumble.

“I don’t know,” Oikawa finally admits and the words are not even a whisper as they escapes him. He is no longer even talking about why he is out here instead of being back in his sleeping quarters with his team he thinks, or maybe he is. Maybe everything is connected in more ways than he can even start to imagine at this point. Maybe-

No.

“I _don’t know_ ,” the omega repeats and his voice is hoarse and thick and he almost reaches up to pull at his hair in pure frustration. “I mean, even with Iwa-chan being the way he is I still thought that he told me things, that he felt like he could,” Oikawa says and squeezes his eyes shut because everything is just _so much_ and he haven’t seen Mika in years and yet Oikawa has the feeling that she won’t judge him. That she might even understand him when he doesn’t really get anything himself.

“I thought I knew everything there was to know about him,” Oikawa continues bitterly through clenched teeth as he stares down at the way he is unconsciously twisting his hands in his lap. “...but now I can’t help but feel like I don’t know anything about him at all and it _hurts_.”

“Tooru,” Mika says and her voice is soft and gentle and suddenly there is something brushing past Oikawa’s cheek in a close imitation of what Iwaizumi had done earlier during their fight and it only serves to make everything worse because while it’s nice it’s _not the same_ . It’s not what he needs and it’s not what he wants and Oikawa just doesn’t understand _why_.

“Why?” Oikawa voices that single word out loud as his hand reaches up to cover Mika’s own and he presses it further against his cheek until it almost hurts and while it doesn’t feel _wrong_ it just _isn’t right_ either. “It shouldn’t bother me this much and _yet it does,_ ” Oikawa continues before opening his eyes to look up at her like she somehow holds the answers to all his woes. His hand is falling uselessly to his side and Mika takes the opportunity to fondly brush some way wards strands of hair away from his face. “Mika-chin, _why_?”

“You know why.”

The words are spoken softly and yet they feel like a sledgehammer when they hit him and he shakes his head desperately, eyes shutting close once more because he _doesn’t_ know. Can’t know. He and Iwaizumi are just really close friends which is why he is so upset that the alpha won’t talk to him about important stuff that’s all, nothing else.

But he _does know_.

It’s a realization as much as it something he has known for a long time but has somehow refused to acknowledge, and the omega lets out a strangled noise before bursting forward and he buries his head against Mika’s shoulder with a heart wrenching sob and this time the ‘ _why’_ that leaves him holds a different meaning altogether.

Why.

_Whywhywhy._

“Oh Tooru,” Mika hums softly, her fingers brushing through his hair and while it’s familiar and nice it does absolutely nothing to soothe the ache that has now lodged itself deeply inside his chest.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. He and Iwaizumi were supposed to stay friends forever. Supposed to go to the same university, share an rundown apartment in a shitty neighborhood and fight about whose turn it was to do the dishes. Were supposed to grow old together and move into adjoining houses and have barbecues in the peak of summer and when the time was right _their_ children would grow up together just as they had, playing and driving each other nuts.

Oikawa had played with that thought more times than he could count growing up but it isn’t before now that he is realizing that even in his fantasies there had never been a cute little omega by Iwaizumi’s side. Never a stunning alpha next to himself because why would either of them need someone else as long as they had one another?

Sure he had dated. Iwaizumi had dated. But for some reason Oikawa had probably always instinctively known that none of those relationships would last in the long run.

He hadn’t thought further about it, hadn’t _wanted_ to think further about it because somewhere along the lines as they had grown up things had changed. Little by little, piece by pieces and so slowly that Oikawa hadn’t really noticed before it was literally staring him straight in his face.

It had always been Hajime and only Hajime.

His scent. His warmth. His grumpy face that Oikawa knew just as well as the back of his own hand. His stupid spiky hair and ugly ass fashion sense. The crooked and wild grin when the alpha got really excited about something. The steadiness of his presence whenever he was close to him.

His chest aches something horribly because Hajime had and would always be Oikawa’s everything wasn’t he and in return Iwaizumi’s life was apparently ‘ _none of his fucking business_ ’.

Oikawa sniffs and clings to Mika for all what he is worth. As if he just hangs on long enough the years between when she had left and now would never have happened in the first place. Like Oikawa could somehow just cross a line over everything and redo all the choices that has led him here-, sitting outside in the middle of the night on top of a run down bench and vending machines that has seen better days and sobbing pathetically over a man whose life he is now so entwined with that Oikawa has no idea how to even start untangling this mess in the first place.

He loves him. 

He doesn’t know when it started. Doesn’t know if it _did start_ or was something that had always been there long before he even knew what love was in the first place. All he knows is that he does. Wholeheartedly.

Just as much as he knows that Iwaizumi doesn’t love him back.

It hurts and it isn’t fair and he wants to scream but before he has a chance to do any of those things there is a shrill tone cutting through the air, causing both him and Mika to freeze up. A moment passes, and then another and then Oikawa curses and wipes his face as he leans back, frustrated fingers digging through his pockets until he gets a hold of the device. It’s probably the coach wondering where the fuck he is so he should probably take that before the man does something stupid like calling is parents. Or its someone else from his team wondering the same, having had enough of sitting around and waiting for him to get back. He finally manages to fish up the annoying little thing and he squints his eyes as the bright light from the screen shines straight in his face.

For a moment Oikawa just stares at the damn thing— and then he swears, his chest constricting something painfully as his brain manages to decipher the name currently flashing on his screen.

 _Iwaizumi_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I am officially going to pass out. I always love hearing your thoughts on what I write and it really pushes me to keep to the schedule even in the middle of finals madness so thank you and I do my best to reply to you all whenever I can.
> 
> Also, if anyone missed it I wrote 8,5k worth of Shibari smut for Iwa-chans birthday [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24641155) if that's something people might be interested in. Just saying.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, sorry for last chapters cliffhanger but can you guys imagine the size of the chapter if I had actually merged those two together? It would have been a 13k long chapter holy hell.

It’s dark outside and Iwaizumi should be have been asleep a long time ago, resting for what is to come and yet the only thing he can think about is the lingering scent of lush foliage in the summer and the warm yet sweet little tinge of lime that is _Oikawa_ that has seemingly etched itself onto the alpha’s skin.

The omega’s scent shouldn’t be there but _it is_ and Iwaizumi can’t seem to get rid of it no matter what he does. He doesn’t want it there. _Can’t_ have it there. Not now. Not when he is about to- _fuck_.

Iwaizumi doesn’t know what the fuck is happening to him anymore. His rut wasn’t supposed to hit for another two weeks at the very least and yet here he is, locked up in his room after having needed to leave the training camp with his tail between his legs like he is some kind of pathetic little teenager unable to control himself. With Mika still very much-

He can’t think about that. _Won’t_ think about that. It’s none of his fucking business with whom the shithead decides to spend his time with, or what he decides to do now when Iwaizumi isn’t there.

It doesn’t bother him.

And yet there is an itch underneath his skin. A sense of urgency, a need to protect that Iwaizumi hasn’t quite felt since Oikawa had suddenly broken out in heat so many years ago in the middle of school. Back then Iwaizumi’s objective had been easy, clear as a day even.

Oikawa had been in heat, at his most vulnerable and even though it had been hard for Iwaizumi back then to focus his attention on what needed to be done in order to keep the omega safe instead of the way Oikawa’s honeyed scent had been emitted behind him-, calling out to him, Iwaizumi had made do.

Had clenched his jaw when desperate fingers reached out for him, pushed him away and ordered him to ‘ _shut up and stay still’_ when all the alpha had really wanted to do was to bring Oikawa somewhere safe and bury his face in the crock of the brunette’s neck where the alluring scent was at its strongest. Had wanted nothing else but to give in to the wordless pleas that had been oozing out off Oikawa’s heated body in thick waves.

Thankfully he hadn’t.

They were friends, he and Oikawa. Close friends even, _childhood friends_ and Iwaizumi knew that a heat and its pheromones didn’t magically change that. Instead it had only clouded their senses with a need that had nothing to do with what they were one another or _how_ they viewed each other for that matter. Oikawa hadn’t reached out to him back then because he was ‘ _Iwaizumi’,_ but because the omega’s body had just simply happened to recognize him as an suitable alpha. Nothing more, nothing less.

They weren’t like that. Would never be like that.

And once that clarity had hit him Iwaizumi remembers that it had been surprisingly easy to stay down when the teacher had taken Oikawa away from him even though every fiber of his being had been yelling at him to grab onto the trembling hand that Oikawa had been reaching out to him with. But despite his instincts he had ended up taking a step back instead of forward before he had watched through clenched teeth as the omega was carried down the corridor and out of his sight.

Because it wasn’t him that Oikawa wanted-, not really. And for some reason that hurt so much more than the rejection that had been so clearly painted across Oikawa’s face.

Iwaizumi may have or he may have not gotten himself off to the honeyed scent that had seemed to lodged itself inside his nostrils in the third floor bathroom that no one really visits afterward because why wouldn’t he? After all, Oikawa for all his damn annoyingness was still an omega and Iwaizumi’s body was all but built to react just the way it had to an omega in heat. It had been _nothing_ but a normal response to what was already a shitty situation and once Iwaizumi had gotten it out of his system that had been that. 

Or rather, _that should have been that_ because over the years since then Iwaizumi has come to learn that things are seldom that simple.

Iwaizumi pulls a frustrated hand through his hair as he keeps pacing around the floor of his room over and over again in hurried, stressed out strides. He just can’t seem to calm down and he feels like something is threatening to eat him up whole that has been wedging itself into the pit of his stomach for the last hour which is _fucking ridiculous_ if he is going to be honest.

It’s his own damn room for fucks sake, it’s not like he is locked up and yet that is precisely the way it feels. That once he finally gets out of here everything will have changed and there will be shit that he can do about it.

Iwaizumi doesn’t know _what_ is supposedly changing. All he knows is that he doesn’t _fucking like it_ and that he doesn’t want to be in here in the first fucking place.

He wants to, no- he _needs to_ be out there and do, well, _something._ Anything really. _Anything_ is better than nothing. Better than just sitting around as his and Oikawa’s relationship turns sourer by the second while he is locked up _in here._

Iwaizumi doesn’t know what is going on out there anymore and it’s sitting uneasy in his stomach because he can’t do shit about it. Has Oikawa plastered that fake, ugly ass grin on his face yet? Is the shithead pretending that everything is alright through empty eyes?

Is he sleeping properly? Eating? Or has Oikawa reached that point when he can’t keep up his fake little smiles any longer and is currently bitching about how Iwaizumi is ‘ _just the worst_ ’ to Hanamaki and Matsukawa-, or has the brunette turned to someone else entirely. Someone that the omega was once close to with long, black hair and the smell of verbena mingling perfectly with Oikawa’s own.

Iwaizumi slams his fist against his wall with such force he hears his door rattle in its hinges.

Fuck.

He doesn’t want to be in here, _can’t_ be in here. He needs to be out there and-

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t fucking know because Oikawa isn’t his to begin with but his body is itching, _screaming,_ and how much longer until his fucking rut actually starts? How much longer until it’s over and he can finally beat some sense into the fuckhead?

And to make everything worse he can smell Oikawa’s damn scent everywhere-, not the honeyed and heated version that Iwaizumi still refuses to think about to this day but the other one. 

The one he knows like the back of his own hand. The one that smells of summer and sun-kissed skin. The one that holds more memories than he cares to think about.

The one that had made him finally realize once Oikawa came back to school after the hallway incident that it had never been about the scent of an omega in heat, but about Oikawa himself. 

_Fuck_.

It clings to him. Wraps around his limbs in soft little tendrils, whispers things in his ear until Iwaizumi can no longer hear the cars rushing past outside his window anymore. Until the only thing there is, the only thing that matters is a soft voice lazed with need whispering his name and chestnut eyes turning clouded.

_Fuck fuck fuck._

Iwaizumi hits his fisted hand against the wall once more, this time together with a low growl before he hunches over and he puts his forehead just bellow where his arm is still connected to the wall, his fingers curling against the cold surface, unable to get any purchase and his breath coming out in ragged heaves as he tries to calm himself and empty his mind. _Fuck_.

‘ _I tell you everything.’_

Iwaizumi groans and closes his eyes. Not now. He can’t. Please not now.

‘ _That’s none of your fucking business_.’

The image of the utterly betrayal on Oikawa’s face floats unbidden into his mind anyway and Iwaizumi swears and hits his fist against the wall again in pure frustration.

He wants to scream.

It has been less than a day and Iwaizumi wants to fucking break something, tear it apart piece by piece until it’s as broken as he feels.

Iwaizumi’s gaze falls on his nightstand and his phone. To the stupid and now worn down Godzilla strap that is attached to it that Oikawa had gotten for him years ago on some trip with his family somewhere Iwaizumi can’t even remember anymore.

But he remembers the rest just fine.

  
  
_“Don’t let it get to your head_ ,” a much younger Oikawa said with a small pout as he handed the piece of dark green plastic over over to him, a small flush painting his face as the boy averted his eyes. “It was just a random gacha gacha so it’s not like it’s worth anything anyway.”

Iwaizumi looked down almost speechlessly at the piece of plastic with a small blink, almost missing when Oikawa’s mother reached out and affectionately messed up the young omega’s hair, making Oikawa huff loudly and causing his pout to grow even wider. ”-and how many times did you beg us to play said gacha machine just so you could get the one you wanted again, hmm Tooru? _”_

The light flush over the boys soft little cheeks turned crimson red in that moment and Oikawa whined pitifully before he tried to snatch the toy back from Iwaizumi’s hand as if that would somehow make him feel less awkward.

 _“_ Give it back Iwa-chan! _”_ Oikawa yelled, fisting his hand in Iwaizumi’s shirt and pulling as the alpha quickly held the item in questions away from the brunette’s reach. _“_ I changed my mind. You don’t deserve it anyway so I am un-gifting it. _”_

 _“_ What the hell shittykawa?” Iwaizumi yelled back at him in confusion. “You can’t just give something away and then take it back. It doesn’t work like that.”

“Watch me!” Oikawa replied stubbornly before all but attempting to climb Iwaizumi like he was a fucking tree. “You are all awful!” the omega continued, his greedy little fingers continuously reaching for the piece of plastic like his life somehow depended on it. “I was lonely and _bored,_ and I wanted Iwa-chan to get happy and realize how much he had missed me-, but all you are doing is _making fun of me_ so I am taking it back,” Oikawa declared stubbornly, causing his mother that was still standing behind him to raise a hand to her mouth in order to try to silence her laughter.

Oikawa didn’t miss it though, and the boy were quick to shoot his mother an angry stare. “See!?” he pouted loudly before turning his determined hazel orbs back to Iwaizumi. “You had your fun, so just give it back already.”

“I haven’t even _said anything,”_ Iwaizumi countered just as stubbornly, making damn sure Oikawa’s grabby little hands got nowhere close to the toy because sure, he knew it was just a stupid piece of plastic but now it was _personal_ and maybe, just maybe he liked the silly little thing more than he wanted to admit.

And maybe Iwaizumi _really liked_ the thought of Oikawa going away together with his family to the other end of Japan and still ended up thinking about him. Even going so far as to get him a gift apart from the standard box of omiyage that Iwaizumi had already received from Oikawa’s mother and that he was supposed to bring back home with him.

“Which means you _hate it_ ,” Oikawa replied, making a lounge for the toy once more as Iwaizumi stepped out of the way.

“...or it just means that _someone_ didn’t even give me as much as three fucking seconds to open my mouth before he went ahead and decided things all by himself again.”

Oikawa crossed his arm over his chest and pouted. “That isn’t true.”

Iwaizumi just raised an eyebrow at him that made Oikawa scoff and avert his gaze from him. At least the omega had stopped trying to claw the piece of plastic out of his grasp-, for the moment at least.

“I don’t hate it,” Iwaizumi said matter of factly and he knew that it might not be the grand words of gratitude that Oikawa might have imagined when the omega fantasized about handing the gift over, but it would have to do. Especially since Iwaizumi could already feel his face heat up with what he was about to say thereafter. “-and I missed you too, dumbass.”

For a moment nothing happened, and then Oikawa’s mind managed to catch up with his words and the omega let out a shrill little noise of pure joy before the boy all but launched himself at Iwaizumi, long and slender arms flinging themselves around his neck as the alpha suddenly found himself with an handful of ecstatic Oikawa and Iwaizumi tried his hardest to fight down the flush threatening to raise to his face.

Part of him wanted to push Oikawa away, and the rest of him wanted to wrap his arms around his friend and pull him close and make sure he never left him again Iwaizumi was not completely sure which option was worse at this point-, so instead the alpha did neither, opting to stay in some kind of indecisive limbo as Oikawa’s bright eyes looked up at him under long and pretty little lashes.

“ _Iwa-chaaan, I have so much to tell you_.”

Iwaizumi lets out a groan as the memory starts to ebb out once again.

It hurts. His rut is just around the corner and Iwaizumi just can’t seem to calm the fuck down, can’t as much as catch a breath. He is agitated and on edge and everything is a damn fucking mess.

Iwaizumi reaches out for the phone before he can think better of it and flops down on the bed as he pulls out Oikawa’s contact information. His thumb hovers over the screen for a moment, hesitating and debating with himself before he decides to ‘ _fuck it’_ and presses down on the dial button and putting the device up to his ear.

He closes his eyes as the artificial sound of the dial tone floods his ears. It seems to drag on forever and just as Iwaizumi is starting to think that Oikawa won’t actually pick up the line suddenly connects and the alpha finds himself letting out a breath he hadn’t realized that he had been holding in the first place.

“ _What?_ ”

Oikawa’s voice sounds strangely detached, a far cry from what it normally sounds like on the rare occasions when Iwaizumi is the one to initiate a call. Then Oikawa’s voice is a happy little chirp of Iwaizumi’s name that makes it impossible to not imagine the omega’s lips stretched out in a pleased little smile.

“What,” Iwaizumi shoots back defensively before he manages to catch himself and he pulls a hand through his hair in irritation because he hadn’t fucking called just so they could keep fighting with one another. The alpha takes a deep breath to calm himself and then another. His fingers are curling tightly around the device as his other arm comes up to drape itself across his forehead trying to ward off the low glow from his lamps that he hasn’t gotten around to turn off yet.

It doesn’t seem like Oikawa heard him though. Instead the alpha catches the sound of hushed little voices talking on the other side of the line, whispers of goodbyes and why the fuck is the shithead up at this time and more importantly, with who?

‘ _That’s none of your fucking business.’_

Fuck.

He is such a fucking idiot.

“I am sorry.”

The words leaves him before his brain manages to catch up with his mouth and the other end falls silent, the earlier sound of movements and whispers now gone and Iwaizumi squeezes his eyes shut under the cover of his forearm as if that will somehow shut out the dread he is feeling raising up his throat.

For a moment none of them says anything, the words hanging heavily in the emptiness of his room, tearing at him from within and Iwaizumi finds himself wondering briefly if Oikawa has hung up on him altogether. But then there is a soft little rustle of fabric, an even softer sigh against his ear and then finally, _finally_ Oikawa’s voice.

“ _If this is about the rut thing I already told you that I don’t-_ ”

“No,” Iwaizumi interrupts him, rubbing at his eyes as the other side of the line falls silent once more. “No that isn’t it.” _Fuck,_ why does this have to be so hard?

He really wishes that this is a conversation they could have had face to face. Oikawa’s expressions are always so animated, so easy to read Iwaizumi misses them, misses the shithead and the way they normally talk and banter with one another more than he cares to admit.

“You were right,” Iwaizumi says a breath later. “I have been going through some things. I did act up or whatever just you said I did. I just didn’t realize it.”

The snort that Oikawa lets out is clearly aimed at him and normally it would earn the brunette a smack on his head or at the very least a ‘ _shittykawa’_ but right now all Iwaizumi can feel is a familiar warmth starting to flood through his chest.

“ _How does that even work Iwa-chan_ ,” Oikawa’s voice asks him and Iwaizumi closes his eyes because there is the smallest tinge of amusement in there and that stupid little nickname he is more fond over getting called than he should be at this age.

He finds himself wondering if Oikawa has calmed down after their fight too. If he feels as empty and mellow inside as Iwaizumi does.

“Fuck if I know,” Iwaizumi says instead and he can practically hear the pout in Oikawa’s voice at the softly whined ‘ _Iwa-chan’_ and Iwaizumi finds himself clenching his jaw. He had called because he had wanted to make up with Oikawa somehow, hadn’t he? To put this entire episode behind them so he could start to actually fucking focus on his rut that was lurking just around the corner instead of all of the myriads of emotions that are currently swirling around inside of him, and how the alpha just can’t seem to get the smell of Oikawa out of his mind for whatever fucking reason this time around.

He normally can.

So Iwaizumi takes a deep breath and steels himself.

“I tell you things,” the alpha starts and there is a sharp inhale of breath in his ear and Iwaizumi can literally hear Oikawa’s previously jaded anger returning to him even through the phone and Iwaizumi lets out a tired sigh because this is far from the reaction he wanted to those words. “Shittykawa, _wait_ ,” Iwaizumi cuts in before the omega has a chance to open his mouth, before this conversation manages to turn south and sending them back to square one. “You wanted me to talk right? Then let me.”

For a moment there is only silence and then Oikawa is letting out a long exhale in his ear.

“ _Fine_.”

Iwaizumi feels himself exhale too.

“I tell you things,” the alpha repeats but this time Oikawa remains silent which for some reason only makes everything so much harder because when Oikawa won’t cut in there are no more distractions, no ways for him to change his mind and turn the conversation around halfway through. Oikawa is waiting for him to talk and Iwaizumi no longer has any choice but somehow pull through.

“Remember when you were bitching about me keeping my distance during my pre-rut and I explained to you that I _couldn’t_ . That I hated how it made me snap, how it made me feel like I wasn’t even in control of myself anymore?” he tries and it takes awhile before Oikawa replies with a soft and jaded, almost upset little mumble. “ _I wasn’t bitching’_.”

Iwaizumi can’t help the soft smile that tugs at the corner of his lips and the relief that starts rushing through him because Oikawa remembers, and what’s more the omega is admitting, though reluctantly that Iwaizumi did in fact tell him what was bothering him that time around.

It’s not much, but it’s something. A step in the direction, a way for them to reconcile perhaps and Iwaizumi latches onto it desperately because right now he will take anything that Oikawa will give him.

“You did bitch dumbass,” he counters counters with a tired chuckle before moving on, his arm falling away from his face as he squints at the sudden brightness in his eyes. “But that isn’t why I brought it up.”

Iwaizumi sighs softly and stares up at the empty ceiling above him once his eyes has gotten more used to the light. “What I am trying to say is that I think that’s why I acted up so much I guess, because of the hormones I mean. And I know that it’s not an excuse but I didn’t realize what was going before it was too late,” Iwaizumi admits quietly. “It wasn’t supposed to hit this soon.”

“ _I know_.”

Iwaizumi hums. He should probably be a bit more surprised, or at the very least concerned about the fact that Oikawa knows about his cycles but for some reason Iwaizumi isn’t. It’s not like he doesn’t have a hum about Oikawa’s own heat after all. At least after Oikawa’s body actually got a proper rhythm going after the first year when the his heats had been all over the place.

So they both know that his rut happened strangely early, which is fine, really. What Iwaizumi still can’t seem to wrap his head around is _why_.

The memory of Mika and Oikawa laughing together under that damn tree floats into the alpha’s mind, sudden and unbidden. The brunette’s eyes lightly crinkled in joy over something the other alpha had said. The two of them sitting close, whispering as if they are sharing a secret Iwaizumi is not privy to knowing.

The smell of verbena mixing with Oikawa’s own and trailing through the air protectively.

Iwaizumi grits his teeth and pushes the image away.

“-and you were right about the other thing too I guess,” Iwaizumi says as he closes his eyes once more. “I do tell you stuff, but maybe not as much like I should. Not like you do.” He lets the words sink in, lets them hang between them and its first than that Iwaizumi realizes how much he has taken Oikawa always talking and unloading his issues on him for granted. How Iwaizumi might like to call the smaller things Oikawa whines about _‘bitching’_ but how the alpha also can’t help but feel a weird sense of comfort in knowing that Oikawa always turns to him with his problem first before anyone else.

The warmth of knowing that Oikawa feels like he can confide in him with anything, wholeheartedly trusting that Iwaizumi has his back. That Oikawa knows that Iwaizumi will always be on his side, even during the times when Iwaizumi ends up telling him that he is in the wrong and should probably apologize and get his shit together.

Iwaizumi tries to imagine what it would be like if Oikawa closed up and kept things from him. He doesn’t have to think very hard because Iwaizumi suddenly remembers that it _has happened_ , and every time he has all but wrestled the truth out the brunette because he fucking hated every second of it.

Iwaizumi can’t even start to imagine what Oikawa must have felt when he had told him that Iwaizumi’s problems where ‘ _none of his fucking business’._

 _Fuck_.

“But that doesn’t mean that I doesn’t trust you or anything. I just-” Iwaizumi lets out a groan because he doesn’t know how to explain it. He is not like Oikawa and he doesn’t normally think things over and over again the same way he does. Doesn’t let whatever is bothering him at the moment weight him down until he is unable to even get some proper sleep. Instead Iwaizumi rolls up his arms and bites the bullet and-

“ _I know_ .” Oikawa’s voice is soft as it reaches him and interrupts his train of thoughts. “ _I know okay? You don’t have to try and explain it or anything. And for what it’s worth I am sorry too. I just let it get to me.”_

Iwaizumi draws a breath of relief. “What Mika said?”

There is a bit of hesitation. A bit more rustling on the other side of the line and Iwaizumi wonders briefly what Oikawa is doing, what he was doing before he had called him and then finally there is a timid ‘ _yeah’_ from Oikawa’s end.

 _“_ Wanna tell me?”

The words are out before he can register them and it’s not why Iwaizumi had called in the first place and he is not going to draw it out of Oikawa this time around if he doesn’t want to talk about it because Iwaizumi simply has no right to at the moment. “You don’t have to,” he adds in and there is a soft hum on the other end. Something forlorn and maybe a bit sad.

“ _No, it’s okay,_ ” Oikawa finally says and Iwaizumi blinks over at the nightstand and the alarm clock that is perched on top of it, inwardly groaning at the time that is staring him back in the face. Oikawa really should be asleep. _Iwaizumi_ should really be asleep but he will stay up forever if that is what it takes to make everything between them right once more.

“ _We were just talking, reminiscing I guess,_ ” Oikawa tells him. _“Joking about how we used to to fight about which one of us that would get to marry you and how heartbroken we were when you turned the both of us down and called us gross over and over again. Stupid little things like that.”_

Iwaizumi chuckles because he remembers that all to clearly.

“ _...and then Mika-,_ ” Oikawa interrupts himself before taking a deep breath. _“Well, she said something stupid about how she used to think that if she had just been born an omega you might actually have wanted her._ ”

This time Iwaizumi finds himself scoffing instead because that wasn’t it. He doesn’t give a shit about someone being an alpha or omega, female or male now-, and he sure as hell didn’t back then either. “That isn’t-”

“ _I know,_ ” Oikawa interrupts him. “ _Now hush, I am talking._ ”

“Cocky little shit.” The insult falls out easily and Iwaizumi feels himself freezing up once he realizes what he had said, not sure if they are back to their bantering and name calling just yet but then Oikawa is laughing in his ear and Iwaizumi pushes it away, grinning to himself and feeling like a weight have been lifted from his chest.

“ _But it got us talking about alpha and omega stuff I guess and I think I said something silly about switching?”_ Oikawa continues. _“-and then she was like; ‘_ being and alpha is not exactly fun either, but Hajime has probably told you that like a million times already’ _and I was like no?”_

 _“And then she was like;_ ‘don’t you guys talk about that stuff?’ _and I don’t know, it just kind of struck with me I guess? Especially when you started acting up all over the place.”_

“Sorry,” Iwaizumi says and closes his eyes because what else can he say? He wishes he could deny the words being thrown at him but there are truth to them, he knows there is and there is nothing he can do about it while being holed up in here.

“ _I am sorry too._ ”

Iwaizumi takes a deep breath. Oikawa shouldn’t be the one feeling like he has to apologize, not this time around at least. This is all on Hajime. On his inability to keep himself in check, letting his emotions take over. “Look, I’ll try to get better aright? With the talking thing I mean. Just don’t expect any miracles or whatever.”

“ _Mmm..._ ”

Oikawa’s voice is soft but tired, pretty much a perfect reflection of what Iwaizumi himself is feeling at the moment as the exhaustion after having being so strung up ever since their fight yesterday starts to settle in.

They will be fine. Iwaizumi is sure of it, one way or another and the small little yawn Oikawa lets out in his ear makes him smile before he throws another glance towards the clock on his nightstand. “Go to sleep already, idiot.”

“ _You go to sleep,_ ” Oikawa replies stubbornly.

Iwaizumi laughs and it's freeing and so _nice._ Oikawa’s voice is laced with a familiar pout but mostly warmth and Iwaizumi lets himself soak it all in, allows himself to close his eyes and let it wash over him.

Yeah, they will be just fine. They will always have this- will always have one another and that is something not even a pretty alphan girl can take away from him. This side of Oikawa, the spoiled bratty self that the omega only allows himself to be around him will always belong to Iwaizumi, no matter what the future has in hold for them.

“I am trying, but someone won’t shut the fuck up,” Iwaizumi replies and the bantering comes easy to him, normal and familiar like they just hadn’t had one of their worst fights to date.

“ _Iwa-chan, rude. You were the one who called me in the first place.”_

 _“_ Did I? Can’t remember.”

“ _Jerk_.”

“Ass.”

There is a comfortable silence starting to stretch out between them. Nothing like the previously strained thing that they had to endure during the beginning of the call. Oikawa’s breathing is a soft little thing in his ear and Iwaizumi curls his hand around his phone and lets himself gets lost in it, his own breathing unconsciously starting to match the pace of Oikawa’s own.

“ _Iwa-chan_ ?” Oikawa says out of nowhere, startling him for a moment and Iwaizumi blinks his eyes open as he realizes that he was about to fall asleep. “ _Do you really find me gross?_ ”

It takes a while before Iwaizumi’s brain manages to figure out exactly what Oikawa is referring to because the alpha can’t remember having called Oikawa ‘ _gross’_ this time around even if it’s a common occurrence.

Not that he means it. In fact Iwaizumi doesn’t mean half the things he calls Oikawa on a daily basis but Oikawa _knows that_ , doesn’t he?

And then it hits him. ‘- _how we used to to fight about which one of us that would get to marry you...when you turned the both of us down and called us gross over and over again’_.

Ah. That thing.

“Don’t make come back there so I can hit you, idiot,” Iwaizumi bites out, causing Oikawa to laugh and Iwaizumi finds himself clicking his tongue because Oikawa is such a fucking idiot. Iwaizumi has never once found the omega gross during all the times he has called him it, not even during the times when Oikawa’s head had been buried in Iwaizumi’s chest as the omega cried his heart out, painting the fabric of his shirt with tears and snot.

But calling Oikawa gross is a hell of a lot easier than the other adjectives Iwaizumi only allows himself to call the brunette inside his head when no one is around. Threatening to smack him is so much simpler than admitting the truth.

Oikawa isn’t gross. Not by a long shot.

“ _Hajime_?”

The sound of his first name being uttered catches him off guard. It’s far from the first time that Oikawa calls him that but Iwaizumi is grateful over the fact that it isn’t an uncommon occurrence because it still causes something heavy to form inside his chest whenever Iwaizumi hears his own name on those lips even after all these years, never fails to make a thick lump appear inside his throat.

“Yeah?” Iwaizumi asks licking his lips as he stares up at the ceiling above while absentmindedly playing with the hem of his shirt as if that would somehow distract him from how warm yet hollow he feels.

“ _I miss you._ ”

Oikawa’s words hits him straight in his guts and Iwaizumi finds himself drawing in a sharp breath and he closes his eyes and forcefully wills his racing heart to stay calm. “I miss you too.”

__________________

Oikawa lowers his phone from his ear as the call comes to an end and the omega clutches the small devices close to his chest as if that would somehow help him with how hard his heart is currently beating inside his ribcage.

‘ _I miss you too.’_

Iwaizumi had said it back to him without an ounce of hesitation, with so much warmth laced into his tone that Oikawa’s chest is aching from it.

It isn’t fair. Iwaizumi isn’t playing fair and Oikawa hunches over with a sob and presses the device further into his chest as the first tear falls from his eyes.

It isn’t the same, the way Oikawa misses Iwaizumi and the way Iwaizumi misses him. Not anymore and the omega is not completely sure that it will ever be again.

Oikawa had thought that he had finally got a grasp on his feelings before Iwaizumi had called him but nothing could have prepared him for what it would be like to hear Iwaizumi’s voice again and this time _knowing_ as the other told him that he was ‘ _sorry_ ’. That he was going to do ‘ _better_ ’ like they were some goddamn couple.

Nothing could have warned him for the way his chest would ache and then constrict at nothing but the sound of the alpha’s soothing tone. How Iwaizumi’s soft and relieved laughter against his ear as they sorted things through had gone straight to the depths of his stomach, coiling there in something akin to hope- low and dangerously.

Oikawa hadn’t understood his feeling at all. Hadn’t even begin to grasp how deeply they actually ran and the omega lower his head even further and grips at his phone so harshly that his knuckles are turning white as if that would somehow distracting him from the close to numbing pain that he is currently experiencing. 

It isn’t fair.

______________________

It’s about two weeks later and honestly it's pretty much like any other morning in the Seijoh club room. Matsukawa and Hanamaki is half sitting on one of the benches, half slouching on one another as Hanamaki shows the other something on his phone with a lazy grin before lifting said device into the air and making an ugly grimace at the camera. Another new and stupid filter probably, Iwaizumi assumes. He is just happy he didn’t get roped into it too this time around. It’s way too early for that shit.

Speaking of which Kyoutani is seated in his usual corner by himself, ready to scowl at anyone daring to get close enough to him this early in the morning, the second year never having been much of a morning person. Not that Iwaizumi can blame him since he himself had downed two large cups of coffee for breakfast this morning and he still feels like utter shit.

Just one of those days he guesses. 

To the side of him Yahaba and Watari is just heading out of the clubroom while talking to one another in hushed voices. Kunimi is yet to be seen but that is not really anything out of the ordinary. After all the first year has a tendency to stroll in just when they are about to begin, changing into his training clothes and step onto the court with about two minutes to spare without a fault. Iwaizumi has yet to actually see him late even once. 

That leaves Oikawa that today is sitting cross-legged on one of the benches, his long limbs taking up far more space than the idiot actually needs to sit down, humming gently from where he is hunched down over his phone and with a small smile tugging on his lips.

Iwaizumi scoffs. He knows what Oikawa is doing, who he is texting. The brunette and the Mika has kept in contact ever since the training camp, exchanging multiple text messages a day and grown surprisingly close and its making him feel, well, _things_.

Not that whoever Oikawa hangs out with is any of Iwaizumi’s business or anything but the alpha can’t help but feel like something happened back at the training camp between the two of them while he wasn’t around. He just doesn’t know _what_ and Oikawa has made a point of ignoring all his questions on the matter, even going so far out as to tell him that _‘Iwa-chan wouldn’t understand anyway’_.

Well, damn right he won’t understand shit when the shithead won’t fucking tell him anything in the first place. Which Iwaizumi guesses is ironically the point Oikawa had been making to him less than two weeks ago.

Fucking hell.

Iwaizumi has no right to be pissy. And yet he is. Which in turn only pisses him off more. Great.

At least he knows that whatever the fuck had happened between the two childhood friends wasn’t ‘ _like that’,_ or Iwaizumi is positive that he wouldn’t have heard he end of it. Oikawa would have rubbed his new girlfriend in his face at any chance he got, or whine about how ‘hard’ long distance relationships were or whatever. Not to mention that there would probably have been a bunch of selfies with the two of them posted all over social media with disgusting little captions and yada yada.

There has been none of that and it should probably make him feel some kind of relief but instead all Iwaizumi’s can see is the soft little smiles Oikawa gives off when he thinks that no one is looking and for some reason those hurts _more-_ not that Iwaizumi can even begin to comprehend why.

“It pisses me off.”

The words are out before his mind can register them and it catches the attention of all the people who are still in the clubroom. From the corner of his eyes he catches the way Hanamaki stops in the middle of a sentence, his phone lowering slowly as he and Matsukawa silent studies him over the edge of the device. Even Kyoutani gaze seems to flicker his way for a moment before the first year averts its once more, pretending he doesn’t give a shit. Iwaizumi gets the feeling he is listening anyway.

“Huh?” Oikawa asks him, confused chestnut eyes looking up at him with a small blink before the brunette lets his gaze wander through the room for a moment, trying to figure out what had upset him, and Iwaizumi watches as the brunette’s brows furrows when the omega can’t seem to find anything in the clubroom that is out of the ordinary. “What is Iwa-chan?”

Iwaizumi scowls because he doesn’t like the soft look in Oikawa’s eyes when he texts the girl. Doesn’t like the fact that there is a part of the omega’s life that Iwaizumi doesn’t know about, that there are things Oikawa is willing to share with someone else but not him.

He fucking hates it, but what right does he have to call Oikawa out on it? None that’s what.

“It just pisses me off,” Iwaizumi just says instead as his mind provides him with pictures of Oikawa and Mika laughing together under that damn tree the day of camp when he had gone looking for the brunette, their faces soft and bright under the midday sun. The very essence of a picture perfect alpha-omega couple that the TV channels and commercials keeps trying to stuff down their throats over and over again-, or something that you could find plastered on posters all over town. 

Oikawa is objectively pretty. Mika is objectively beautiful. _Objectively_ the two of them look good together, but the thought of it only serves to make Iwaizumi’s chest feel hollow.

“What, what?” Oikawa close to sputters out and Iwaizumi can’t help but to notice that the brunette has put down the phone for the first time that morning and it’s fucking ridiculous but it somehow makes him feel like he won something. Whatever that means.

Sadly the way he can feel Hanamaki’s eyes bury into his back takes most of the fun out off it.

“How does that even make any sense?” Oikawa presses and Iwaizumi scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest because he is not going to go down that path. Not today, not ever. And especially not inside their clubroom when Hanamaki and Matsukawa is eying them is as if the players primary source of nutrients are not food but drama.

“You wanted me to tell you stuff, so I am. It’s pissing me off,” Iwaizumi says and Oikawa blinks up at him, hazel eyes clearly confused as he tries to process what Iwaizumi is telling him.

“Uh, okay,” Oikawa says, furrowing his brows before trying again. “What is?”

“Not part of the deal.”

There is a strangled noise behind them as Hanamaki unsuccessfully tries to stifle a snort and Iwaizumi throws an annoyed glance in the pink-haired man’s direction, immediately silencing him.

“What!? Iwa-chan you can't just-” Oikawa’s outburst makes him look back towards his friend. The omega is looking up at him with almost comically wide eyes. “...the point of _telling me things_ is for me to know what’s wrong so I can do something about it,” Oikawa continues with a pathetic whine and Iwaizumi rolls his eyes at him because honestly there isn’t really anything that the other can do to make him feel better about his badly contained jealousy.

Not that he can tell Oikawa that either.

“Then figure it out,” Iwaizumi says instead before grabbing his water bottle and heading towards the door. He has made enough of a fool out of himself for one day already.

“Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi doesn’t bother to pause at Oikawa’s words as he pulls the door open only to come face to face with Kunimi. The first year gives him one single glance before looking at the crowd of people still assembled inside their clubroom and then back to Iwaizumi once more.

“Can I pass? Practice starts in four minutes and I would prefer not being late.”

Iwaizumi gives him a grunt in response before stepping aside to let Kunimi past him and he follows the boy with his eyes as he walks up to his locker like he has no care in the word and starts to change. Iwaizumi lets his gaze wander over the rest of his teammates still very much sitting where he left them, and still very much staring at him with varying degrees of confusion except Hanamaki and Matsukawa that is still studying him with interests from their little corner and Iwaizumi grits his teeth before pinning them all with his gaze.

“Move it, or we are all going to be late.”

With the way the clubroom bursts into movements at Iwaizumi’s words it’s probably safe to say that he managed to divert their attention. 

For now at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap the training camp side story that I originally just added in as a small side story but that somehow ended up spanning 4 whole damn ass chapters is finally over and with that I have some good and some bad news.
> 
> The good news is that I have officially decided to participate in this years NaNoWriMo Camp with a brand new story. The sad news is that that also means that Redolence is going to go on a short hiatus this month but it will be back to its normal bi-weekly schedule starting August 1st.
> 
> Thankfully plot-wise it’s actually a good time to take a break! Next chapter we are going to start diving into some completely new things so look forward to that once we are back on track.
> 
> In the meantime and if you want to, feel free to head over to my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Mellow_Chibi). I haven’t really advertised it much before this because I rarely posted anything, but considering that I decided to join the madness I probably will starting from now on.
> 
> Anyway, I hope to see you all once NaNo camp is over and who knows- if I manage to pull through there might even be something else waiting for you guys by then. ___〆(・∀・)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the first of August (in like 2 hours) and as promised here I am! (Even if I realized like 3 days ago that just because NaNo camp ended yesterday doesn't mean that this story will magically write itself, woops)
> 
> Anyway, NaNo camp was a blast and I reached my word count goal and then some- even though the story in question is nowhere done but I am very excited to keep working on it in the future, but for no its time to dive back into this AU for awhile don't you think?
> 
> On a side note I am not going to lie, I am not too happy with how this chapter turned out but with NaNo and me forgetting I actually had to write it in the first place I guess that it is what it is. I don't really like the theme for this chapter either, and it was kind of uncomfortable to write as well but it's an important building block for what is to come so please bear with it for now and I will be back with actual IwaOi content in two weeks now when we are back on schedule once more.
> 
> Edit:  
> Trigger warning for Attempted Sexual Assault. Nothing actually happens though but I figured that I should put it here just in case. Thank you so much to emachookie for pointing it out to me.

Time moves on and they keep on growing. They keep playing, keep winning and losing and even though the changes that keeps happening to Oikawa’s body are still unfamiliar and scary Iwaizumi’s unwavering presence in his life never falters and the omega clings to his friend like the alpha is a rock, a solid point for him anchor onto when needed, always just within reach.

His body is slowly but surely creating its own rhythm and the omega slowly but surely gets used to it. Oikawa learns how pick out the signs when his heat is drawing near so that he can prepare accordingly, both mentally and physically. And as the omega turns older his heats goes from being the irregular thing they have been to forming a pattern. and that in turn makes everything so much easier.

They still stay a messy and exhausting affair but Oikawa slowly but surely gets used to it and as time passes the omega finally comes to terms with that it’s just another part of his life that he has to learn how to deal with, as annoying as it is. He learns how to tell the difference between one heat from another depending on how he feels the days before they break out, learns how to guess how intense they are going to be by how the inside of his stomach feels and how needy he becomes.

And most importantly he slowly starts to learn how to take care of himself when his brain shuts off and his hormones run wild, leaving him a panting and pathetic mess with no real will of his own, at the mercy of the needs of his body.

It’s not fun and he still much rather not, but he manages. Somehow.

Always alone, always never enough. Always so fucking _empty_ and hating every second of it with a burning ferocity the moment he gets his mind back.

About the only good thing that Oikawa gets out from the hell that his heats heats are is that he has realized that he can get away with just about anything and the omega is quick to take full advantage of that fact. Didn’t have time to finish his homework on time? That’s fine-, all Oikawa has to do is clutch a hand over his stomach and act miserable and the teacher will tell him that it’s okay and that he can turn it in whenever he gets better, no worries.

He wants to eat two whole chocolate bars just before dinner? Surprisingly not a problem anymore.

But the best part is undoubtedly how utterly rotten Iwaizumi spoils him, and Oikawa doesn’t even have to push very hard for his normally grumpy friend to give in to his whims either.

Iwaizumi will silently fetch him whatever he asks him for from the cafeteria during lunch, leaving Oikawa free to spend the break lounging around underneath a tree, or on top of the roof if he feels like it without even a huff in complaint from the black haired man. The alpha also allows Oikawa to drape himself over his back- or put his head in Iwaizumi’s lap without pushing him off, or even as much as heaving an annoyed sigh at him being needy and touchy with him.

Iwaizumi doesn’t even complain when Oikawa demands to be petted, or when the omega tells him that he wants to watch his favorite movie three times in a row just because he is dying to find out how far he can push things before Iwaizumi has had enough with his shenanigans.

But the more the omega pushes, the more surprised he is to find that Iwaizumi just _bends_ and in the end Oikawa’s little experiments ends not because Iwaizumi has enough and snaps at him but because Oikawa doesn’t feel like it’s right to take advantage of his friends any longer.

He is still needy and clingy though, still demands to be petted with small little pouts and whines and for whatever reason Iwaizumi never turns him down.

Until one day he does.

It happens one day in the early days of summer when Oikawa’s preheat is at its worst and he has already come to terms with the fact that he will most likely have another week curled up in his nest together with his slick covered sheets to look forward to starting tomorrow when Hanamaki somehow manages to convince him to have one of their regular occurring coffee dates after that days afternoon training.

For once Oikawa finds himself actually not wanting to go. In fact the only thing he really wants to do is to be home and alone, curled up inside the safety of his nest and getting comforted by Iwaizumi’s scent until his mind turns hazy and his thoughts all scrambled, but for some reason he ends up going anyway. Mostly Oikawa thinks that he gave in because Makki offered to treat him for once, but it might also have something to do with the fact that their favorite cafe currently has a very limited apple pie flavored frapino going on that Oikawa still hasn’t had the chance to taste just yet, and after his heat will finally be over and done with its sale period will have ended.

So Oikawa decides that he deserves to treat himself before shit hits the fan, or in this case- deserves to have Hanamaki treat him before shit hits the fan. Same thing really. In the end he gets to satisfy both his sweet tooth and his curiosity over the concoction, and as a bonus it’s _free,_ which honestly only sweetens the deal further.

The only thing that sucks is that Iwaizumi won’t be coming with them but not for lack of trying on the omega’s part. In fact Oikawa had actually asked Iwaizumi to come on multiple occasions throughout the day, desperately wanting- no _needing_ to feel the safety of his friend next to him. Wanting the alpha’s warmth and his scent to make everything better and maybe even bearable.

To have Iwaizumi make him feel safe and cared for and maybe, just maybe if Oikawa just pretends hard enough he would even be able to fool himself into thinking that Iwaizumi came home with him afterward. That the alpha would climb down under the covers of his bed with him when asked, would hold him close and encase him in his strong and familiar scent. That Iwaizumi would nose against the top of his head and tell him that he got him, that everything is going to be fine. To take care of him and make Oikawa not feel so fucking alone and abandoned for fucking _once_.

But when he had asked Iwaizumi for about the third time that day while changing after practice the alpha had paused before letting his eyes wander over him with an unreadable expression on his face. Oikawa had watched his friend with a tilt of his head as the alpha had taken a deep, almost thoughtful breath. Had kept looking as something hesitant had flickering across green eyes before the alpha furrowed his brows and finally seemed to have made up his mind.

“ _Sorry Oikawa_ ,” Iwaizumi had told him. “ _Not today_.”

What the hell was up with that anyway?

Iwaizumi never turned him down, not this close to his heat. After all the alpha had _promised_ that it was okay for him to be needy, and while Oikawa knew that that didn’t mean that Iwaizumi would blindly follow him to the end of the world the alpha could at the very least have dragged his fat, ugly ass down to the cafe three blocks away from their school, now couldn’t he?

Stupid pea-brained and good for nothing, lazy-ass alpha.

So _what if_ Iwaizumi didn’t like this place’s drinks, deeming them too sweet or what fucking- _ever_. Last time Oikawa had been suffering from his pre-heat it had been on a weekend and Iwaizumi had come over within the hour once Oikawa had actually got over his stubbornness and asked him to.

Back then Iwaizumi had allowed Oikawa to curl up next to him and then the alpha had spent the day bringing him whatever he had wanted without as much as complaining about Oikawa’s choice of movies even once. Iwaizumi had even put an arm around him at one point he thinks, warm fingers carving a soothing pattern above his hip just before Oikawa had dozed of for an hour or two but he isn’t certain. After all his memories from the times of his preheats are always a bit fuzzy at the edges.

What he does remember however is waking up from his nap a while later with his head in Iwaizumi’s lap and a blanket carefully draped over his body, rough yet gently digits softly carding through his hair as if he was something precious.

It had been nice. So _very_ nice. So nice in fact that Oikawa hadn’t even felt bad about pretending to stay asleep for a bit longer, treasuring the way the alpha’s nails had scraped against his scalp and burning every second of it into his memory.

However back then Oikawa’s pre-heat hadn’t even been that bad, just a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach that could easily be ignored, uncomfortable but completely doable and nothing like the fucking inferno that is currently threatening to tear him apart.

Today Oikawa’s pre-heat is bloody awful and frankly, he could have made good use of some first grade spoiling today, much more so than last time and if he is going to be completely honest with himself Oikawa is actually not sure that he would have said yes to Hanamaki if he had known that Iwaizumi was going to turn him down like this.

Stupid, inconsiderate Iwa-chan.

Selfish, uncaring stupid ass-

“Did someone ever tell you how good you smell?”

Oikawa tiredly lifts his head from where he has been slouched over the table of the cafe up until now, his eyes wandering across the area before settling on the stranger now standing in front of him.

The man in question is both tall and has that typical broad and muscular built that just _screams_ alpha, as if the potent scent that the man is currently purposefully letting out somehow isn’t enough to give him away as one. Sharp jaw, a bit pointy at the end and brown bangs mirroring Oikawa’s own almost covering his dark and murky eyes.

It takes Oikawa about five seconds to decide that he doesn’t like him.

The alpha tilts his head to the side as Oikawa’s bleary eyes fixes on him, and Oikawa finds himself grimacing as a low whistle escapes the strangers lips before they warps into a cocky grin that makes the omega want to roll his eyes. He doesn’t have the energy for this right now, if ever. “Wow, you are pretty little thing too, aren’t you? Who would have thought.”

Oikawa just huffs in response before he buries his head into his arms once more and closes his eyes. It's not like he is a stranger to getting this kind of attention, but normally (and thankfully) whoever it is tends to be a lot more subtle about it.

Honestly, most of the times Oikawa just finds the attention he gets endearing, even fun at times even. But this upcoming heat is going to be bloody awful, he knows it is, and the omega is just too drained with everything that is going on for him to deal with some unknown, full-of-himself alpha at the moment, too busy sulking over the fact that Iwaizumi turned him down. All Oikawa wants right now is to be left alone, have his frapino and then sleep for about a hundred years and maybe, just maybe when he wakes up he will be too old to have heats anymore.

Fat chance, huh.

The little cafe is bustling with life around him, filled to the brim with people excitedly talking away and _normally_ Oikawa thrives in this kind of setting- just not today. So when he and Makki had first gotten here they had decided to split up since Oikawa felt like he had gotten run over by a truck and well, since Makki is paying anyway there wasn’t really any point for Oikawa to wait in a stupid line when he can be stretched out over a table like some kind of sloth instead, as he waits for his friend to bring him his offering in form of an unhealthy, and extremely sugary drink.

Oikawa squeezes his eyes shut and fights down a displeased groan. Maybe if he just makes a point of ignoring him hard enough the alpha will magically go away and leave him alone. Maybe he should even try and fake snore a bit just to _really_ drive his point home, just in case.

“I am talking to you you know,” the man says, interrupting him before he has any chance to put his any of his grand plans into action and Oikawa finds himself heaving a sigh.

No such luck huh.

This time Oikawa does roll his eyes before he turns his head to the side so he can look up at the man still persistently standing in the same spot he had been in the last time the he had checked. Thin lines are quirked up in a confident grin, hands shoved lazily into his pockets as the alpha tries to give the appearance of being easygoing and nonchalant and Oikawa lets out a huff because he really doesn’t have the energy to deal with unwanted advances from this particular brand of stranger right now.

Frankly, he doesn’t even have the energy to be here in the first place and yet here he is.

Damn Hanamaki and this place’s limited flavors that they come up with every now and then and _damn himself_ for always needing to try them at least once, no matter how weird they sound.

Damn Iwaizumi for being such a heartless, useless slouch.

“I noticed,” Oikawa finally replies in a dry voice before he fixes the alpha with what he hopes is a bored and empty expression instead of the exhaustion that he is currently feeling. “I just figured that I would be nice and spare you the embarrassment of getting outright rejected.”

There is a snort from the man and then there is a pair of strong and bulky arms being placed on top of the table in front of Oikawa’s face, the alpha hunching down to his level and the omega lets out another huff because apparently this shitface can’t take a hint- or rather downright refuses to and he finds himself desperately wishing that he had listened to his body this time around and just _gone home_.

Or that Iwaizumi would be there with him and act like a buffer, because if there was something Oikawa’s friend was good at was scoffing and chasing people away with his sour face and bitter, non-impressed expressions. Oikawa could have needed some of that by his side today. Such a shame that Iwaizumi is such a bloody good-for-nothing and worthless-

“Feisty aren't we?” the alpha speaks up again before continuing in a low, murmuring voice that is most likely another attempt at smooth-talking or whatever the hell the alpha think he is doing at the moment.

Whatever it is it isn’t working.

“I can work with that.”

“I would much prefer it if you didn’t,” Oikawa bites back before making a point of turning his gaze away and closing them. He is about done with this dude, _has_ been done with him long before he even showed his ugly rat-face. “I didn’t come here for whatever reason you seem to think I did. Sorry to burst your bubble, but all I really want right now is to slurp down my drink in peace once my friend gets here and then go home, _alone_. Your cooperation on the matter is highly appreciated.”

There is another snort from the alpha and Oikawa has to resist the urge to downright open his eyes and glare at him because why won’t he just _fuck off already?_

“You know, the more you talk, the more I am really starting to like you,” the alpha comments and Oikawa heaves _another_ sigh before opening his eyes again, giving the other a vexed glare, his next retort already on the tip of his tongue, ready to fall from his lips like venom at a moments notice.

He doesn’t gets the chance to say it before his vision is filled with the strangers face as the alpha leans in close, the man’s leathery scent filling his nostrils and Oikawa unconsciously draws a sharp breath as his body tries to shift away away from the stranger.

It’s all wrong- _smells_ wrong, only to remember the fact that he had chosen one of the restaurants booth tables when he had settled down earlier because he had wanted to be _left alone,_ and right now that means that shuffling away from the other doesn’t actually give him more space as much as he is just backing himself into a corner. The stranger doesn’t as much as hesitate before placing a knee on the couch next to him, trapping him before leaning in even closer. Oikawa’s eyes flicker from the man’s face to the leg cutting him off and then back up at his face once more, glaring daggers all the while.

“It’s about that time of the month for you isn’t it?” the alpha hums out, evidently not getting deterred even though Oikawa has done nothing so far but giving him the cold shoulder. Go figure.

“It must be pretty awful, all by yourself right?” the man continues unprompted as if his offer was somehow appealing to Oikawa in any way or form. And then out of nowhere there is a thumb stroking across Oikawa’s cheek and the omega jerks, the urge to snap and just _bite it off_ coursing strongly through his veins. He somehow manages to catch himself though, not wishing to cause a scene, opting for shifting his head until the alpha’s hand falls uselessly to the table between them instead. Not that that makes the other stop. “I really wouldn’t mind taking care of a pretty little thing like yourself you know,” the alpha adds in and Oikawa rolls his eyes.

_Just fuck off up already._

He hopes that Makki will get here soon because Oikawa just doesn’t have the energy nor the will to deal with this. He doesn’t want the attention from this stranger, doesn’t want to snap and end up drawing the attention from the rest of the cafe’s customers.

Literally the only thing he wants is to be left alone, and for some stupid reason the omega is still clinging to the small hope that if he just ignores the ass long enough he might finally give up. At this point he highly doubts it though.

Oikawa really, _really_ wishes that Iwaizumi was here with him right now. Iwaizumi would have gotten the stranger to leave Oikawa is sure of it, would have kept him safe. There would have been no hands placed on his table, no knees sliding into the couch and trapping him. No disgusting fingers on his face. No scent of sweaty leather invading his nostrils. Just Iwa-chan, letting him use him as a makeshift pillow to lean against as he drank his drink in peace.

Oikawa’s head hurts and there is a weird, tight feeling stretching out over his chest. He feels so alone, and his heat hasn’t even started yet.

There is a low chuckle from the alpha out of nowhere then, as if the other finds this entire thing amusing somehow, and even in his tired haze there is a small flicker of anger flaring up inside of the omega. Anger is good. Well, at least it’s a lot better than the weary exhaustion he has been feeling up until this point.

“Who says that I will be alone,” Oikawa snaps but it turns out that that was the wrong thing to say because the others low chuckle turns into a cocky laughter that makes Oikawa want to violently tear something apart.

“ _Please_ ,” the alpha mocks him. “You don’t have a mark and you are not carrying anyone’s scent either even though you smell like you are about to burst out into heat at any given moment. If you did have someone ready to take care of you you wouldn’t be here, out in the open and getting a drink with ‘ _a friend’,_ now would you? You would be curled up with your mate, or at the very least his scent inside your nest, waiting for the magic to happen.”

There is nothing _magic_ about heats as far as Oikawa is concerned, and yet the the condescending snort that leaves him has more to do with that fact as much as it has to do with that the fuck-face has no clue that he just described _exactly_ how Oikawa is planning to spend the upcoming days, curled up with Iwaizumi’s scent all around him.

Well, minus the fact that Iwaizumi isn’t his actual mate, but that is something that Oikawa has come to terms with a long time ago at this point and who _the hell cares_ about the small details right now anyway?

Oikawa tilts his head and throws the alpha another glance, close to immediately spotting the small but uncertain furrow of the alpha’s brow. A small chink in the man’s so far otherwise cocky armor and there is a small sense of something petty and washing over the omega at the sight.

“Not all alpha’s are possessive and insecure assholes that feels the need to spread their scent all over the place every second of the day,” Oikawa says and for a brief moment he sees a small flicker of hesitation crossing over the strangers face and Oikawa can practically _feel_ the grin tugging at the corner of his own lips.

Though Oikawa is pretty sure that he wouldn’t mind mind too terribly if Iwaizumi started spreading his scent around a bit. Not that Oikawa is a stranger to waking up with Iwaizumi’s scent clinging to him in the mornings, it’s just what happens when you spend your nights cuddled up with your friends old and used clothes. Sadly he also knows that that isn’t what the stranger is actually talking about. It’s not like Oikawa is actually getting actively scented by Iwaizumi or anything- and just for a second, maybe for the first time in his life Oikawa finds himself wondering if that’s something that he would like.

Smelling like him. To have the scent of pine sticking to his skin not because Oikawa has been snuggling up with the others fabric tucked up against his chest, but because Iwaizumi wanted him to. Because Iwaizumi choose to rub his neck against the strands of Oikawa’s hair until the omega was all but drenched in it, sending a clear message to anyone else that-

“Ohh, what is this? New friend?” The singsong voice comes seems to be originating somewhere behind the alpha and Oikawa follows it with his eyes even though he already knows what he will find long before his gaze lands on Hanamaki. And yet Oikawa finds himself letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding as his friend steps into his line of sight again.

 _Finally_.

“Hah, he wishes,” Oikawa replies causing Hanamaki to hum before the pink haired man tilts his head to he side, curious yet sharp eyes peering between him and the alphan stranger. For a moment no one says anything, but then the alpha lets out a scoff before pushing himself off the table and takes a step away, lazily waving his hand and muttering some excuse Oikawa’s brain is too tired to even register.

And then _finally_ the alpha fucking leaves, evidently no longer interested in throwing cheesy one liners Oikawa’s way in front of an unknown audience. A shame really Oikawa finds himself thinking. It would probably have been amusing to watch Hanamaki tear the alpha a new one with nothing but his words alone.

Hanamaki is good at that, which is something that Oikawa knows firsthand.

Good at breaking people down by saying just the right things at the right time, creating one small crack after another until the person’s facade has no choice but to shatter. After all, Oikawa himself has been on the receiving end of Hanamaki’s and Matsukawa’s teasing more times than he cares to count, and while being the victim of the duo’s shenanigans is far from fun, watching them tear into someone else certainly _is_ , especially once Hanamaki and Matsukawa really got going.

And _especially_ when the person is an asshole that had it coming miles away.

Oikawa straightens up with a sigh as Hanamaki slides into the seat in front of him with a shit-eating grin plastered all over his face as the pink haired man pushes Oikawa’s drink across the table. Oikawa takes it without another word, his fingers cupping around the cold container as he watches Hanamaki slouch back in his seat, slurping on his own beverage so unnecessary loudly that Oikawa just knows that he is doing it on purpose.

“So what did not-new-friend want?” Hanamaki asks him casually a moment later, his head tilting backwards as the man lazily spreads himself out in his seat and Oikawa snorts in reply before taking the straw to his mouth and taking a small and careful sip of his own.

To be fair Oikawa hadn’t had very high hopes for the frapino in the first place because apple pie is not really something you are supposed _to drink_ of all things, but he is more than pleased to find out that once manages to get past the weirdness of drinking what straight down tastes like liquid cake he realizes that it also somehow kind of works. Just don’t ask him how.

Sure, it’s not the best drink the omega has ever had, but it’s far from the worst one either. And being able to satisfy his curiosity over how the concoction actually tastes almost makes up for having to deal with the asshole earlier.

_Almost._

“I can’t believe that they just downright made an apple _pie_ frapino. Who even comes up with this stuff?” Oikawa asks, hesitantly sipping on the cold drink with a small scrunch to his nose. “And the worst part about it is that I can’t even decide if I actually like it or not.”

Hanamaki hums in response, ogling at him from over the tip of his beverage with sharp eyes that makes Oikawa pursue his lips. “...and I can’t believe that you made a new friend and won’t tell me the details.”

“We are _not_ _friends_ ,” Oikawa shoots back in irritation, his gaze unconsciously flicking over the cafe and its current inhabitants to see if the ass is still around. He doesn’t catch sight of the alpha anywhere, but instead of it allowing him to relax all Oikawa can feel is a sense of uneasiness coiling deep within him.

“Then what?” Hanamaki prompts, causing the omega to pout as he puts down his drink on the table with more force than strictly necessary because he doesn’t want to talk about the shithead- doesn’t even want _to think about him_ if he is going to be completely honest, and yet Hanamaki just won’t leave it alone and Oikawa stubbornly presses his lips into a firm line and hopes that his friend will get the message this time around.

Hanamaki doesn’t. Because _of course he doesn’t_. Or rather, Oikawa is pretty certain that Hanamaki does get the message he is trying to send him, his _‘friend’_ just doesn’t care.

“Do I need to get Iwaizumi to come here and drag it out off you?”

Oikawa is reaching for his drink as Hanamaki speaks up and he ends up pausing in the middle of the motion, his gaze flickering upwards to meet his friend’s own while he lightly chews on his lower lip in thought. He is not going to lie to himself, not right now at least when his preheat hormones are running wild and with a creep lurking around god knows where. And also because maybe, just maybe a part of Oikawa kind of wants Iwaizumi to come here- even if it's just under the pretense of dragging the truth out of him.

Kind of wants Iwaizumi to be sitting next to him and acting as a buffer, protecting him from the alpha from earlier and whoever else might feel like testing their luck today. Very much wants his friend’s scent trailing around him, make him feel safe. Wants to feel the heat of the alpha’s body next to his own, close enough for him to feel Iwaizumi’s warmth against his skin through both their layers of fabric separating them.

For some reason the omega has a feeling that he wouldn’t feel so miserable about the impending doom that his is heat if Iwaizumi would just be here, but at the same time Iwaizumi is also the last person that Oikawa wants to know about his earlier encounter, even if he isn’t quite able to figure out why.

“Iwa-chan is busy,” Oikawa says with a shrug, snagging his drink and putting the straw into his mouth and taking a quick sip before continuing. “I asked him to come but he said no, so good luck with that.”

Oikawa takes another swallow, letting the straw stay in his mouth for awhile longer and chewing absentmindedly around the edges of the piece of plastic with a small frown on his face. Iwaizumi rarely turns him down to begin with, not when Oikawa asks him more than once. And _especially_ when he is this close to his heat so whatever reason the alpha had for turning him down he reasons that it must be important.

And for some reason the fact that there is something more important to Iwaizumi out there when Oikawa feels like complete and utter shit and could really do with some protection _hurts-_ even more so than the way his insides are currently doing a great job of attempting to eat him alive.

“Ohh?” Hanamaki coos with a gleam in his eyes that Oikawa decides that he really fucking hates. “What are you fighting about this time?”

“We are _not_ fighting,” Oikawa answers sullenly as he uses the straw to poke around in his drink with a pout. “He just happened to have something more important to do I guess. And it’s not like he is much of a fan of this place anyway to begin with.”

That at least is the truth, not that it does something to subdue the heavy feeling in his gut. After all, the reason that Oikawa likes this cafe in the first place is because of the sugary things they come up with and Iwa-chan, like the boring grump he is is not really much for sweet things to begin with. But even then the alpha normally comes with them anyway when Oikawa asks him to, even if all he really does is commenting on how all the sugar they are consuming is going to make their teeth rot and fall out while nursing a cup of coffee.

There is a pang of something lonely in his chest and once again Oikawa finds himself wishing that the other was sitting next to him, even if all his Iwaizumi would really do was to poke fun of him and his admittedly poor life choices.

“Hmmm....” Hanamaki hums, propping his elbows on the table so he can rest his head in the palm of his hands. The pink haired man has taken the straw into his mouth, copying Oikawa’s earlier ministrations of chewing on it instead of using it the way it was intended to. “I didn’t hear that he had something planned today though,” he points out with a small quirk of his eyebrow.

Oikawa scoffs before averting his gaze, letting it flicker from customer to customer with no real goal in mind more than looking _anywhere_ expect at Hanamaki whose lips has tugged up in the beginning of a small smile. “Well, maybe you are not as close to Iwa-chan as you thought then,” he says.

“True.” Oikawa catches a flash of white in the corner of his eyes as Hanamaki replies, his grin steadily growing, sharp and dangerous. “But it would seem like the same goes for you.”

Oikawa blinks at that, something bitter settling into the back of his throat and he ends up taking a deep sip of his drink in an attempt swallow it away.

It doesn’t work.

“Just because we grew up together doesn’t mean that we are joined by the hip,” Oikawa bites out, the harshness in his tone surprising both Hanamaki and himself, his friend’s eyes widening ever so slightly before the other manages to catch himself and lets his face morph back into his normal expression.

“You know,” Hanamaki starts up again a moment later when Oikawa doesn’t offer him anything else, absentmindedly tapping a finger against his chin as if in deep thought. “...for someone that is currently ‘ _not fighting’_ or whatever you are telling yourself you are not doing with your best friend slash babysitter you sure seem pretty agitated to me.”

“Yeah well, that’s what tends to happen when people won't take a hint and leave you _alone,_ ” Oikawa scowls while staring down on his drink.

“Like that not-new-friend of yours?”

Oikawa groans. “ _Shut up,_ Makki.”

Hanamaki doesn’t. But he at least gives Oikawa the courtesy of not bringing up Iwaizumi and his absence again.

___________________

It’s about an hour later and Oikawa feels somewhat lightheaded as he finishes up washing his hands in the sink of the cafe’s toilet with a weary sigh. It would seem like the alpha from earlier had at least been right about one thing. Oikawa’s heat is close, he can even feel how everything is starting to get a bit fuzzy around the edges and he curses himself for letting Hanamaki drag him along for what must be about the hundredth time that day.

It’s fine he tells himself. They are about done with their drinks and getting under each others skin anyway, so all Oikawa really has to do is to get back to their table and then he can _finally_ head home and start working on setting up his nest properly, including dragging out Iwaizumi’s clothes from where he has hidden them in his wardrobe and take them out of their respective bags. Today's pick is going to be between a pale, green jumper and the gray sweatshirt which always seems to suck up the alpha’s scent better than anything else that Iwaizumi owns if he remembers correctly. It’s not really a choice to begin with, honestly but he is feeling like shit so maybe he will just spoil himself and drag both of them with him into his nest for once.

Oikawa deserves at least that after today's mess of being first stood up and then hit on by an ass, only to getting endlessly teased for both by his so called ‘ _friend’_ afterward _._

Yeah, Oikawa definitely deserves it.

And then he can finally curl up in peace with his Iwaizumi’s scent and his blankets and toys and hopefully forget all about persistent assholes that can’t take a hint and shitty friends making fun of him or turning him down.

Oikawa heaves a sight as he turns off the faucet and grabs one of the paper towels from its dispenser and dries his hands of halfheartedly before scrunching up the paper and throwing it the designated bin. He tiredly waves his hands in the air in front of him, absentmindedly trying to get rid of the last of the dampness that is still stubbornly clinging to his skin.

Just a little bit more he tells himself. Just a bit more and then he will be home and _safe-_ with the smell of the woods pressed up against his nose.

Oikawa unlocks and opens the door, ready to leave this day behind him for good but he never gets the chance to even take a step outside before something large and looming enters his field of vision. The omega finds himself blinking in confusion as his eyes stares straight into a broad and muscular chest and he tilts his head to the side as he turns his gaze upwards and _ah, of course._

“Hello again,” the alpha from earlier says and Oikawa clicks his tongue because of course the ass had to try and corner him because why the fuck not with the way today has been treating him. Oikawa has half a mind to violently push his hands into the broad chest in front of him, wants to yell or at least do _something_ in order for him to get the attention from the rest of the cafes patrons-, but he is also is still so fucking tired and all he really wants to be home and alone and as far away from this stranger as he physically can. And as much as he hates it Oikawa knows that yelling and causing a scene right now is only going to make him achieve the opposite.

So instead of doing something that will undoubtedly get him struck in here for longer than he would like Oikawa wordlessly lowers his head and attempts to sidestep past the man, his heart hammering heavily against his ribcage.

 _Away_ , Oikawa’s instincts screams to him. He needs to get _away_ and the omega takes another step, pressing forward only to have his wrist caught by rough and unfamiliar hands.

For a moment everything freezes and then there is a flicker of fear, a flare of his scent before the omega jerks himself free with an annoyed noise.

“Just fuck off already,” he snarls but there is only a dark chuckle in response that makes his chest clench in alarm and Oikawa scoffs, only to realize that his throat feels raspy and strangely dry, his legs weak and useless. But he can’t _stay here,_ he needs to get his shit together and he makes another attempt to try and move past the stranger in the narrow doorway before things get worse.

“ **Stay**.”

It’s the second time in his life that Oikawa has gotten commanded to do something, the first being that one time he had broken out in heat in the middle of their school but he immediately realizes that this time it’s completely different from when Iwaizumi had done it, now years ago. Back then the request had felt like he was being carefully wrapped up in silk, cradled by something warm and gentle, caring. The command slowly coaxing him to bend to the alpha’s will and he faintly remembers that he had followed it helplessly even in his heat induced confused state.

This command is rope tearing into his skin and tethering chains. Uncaring and and downright _terrifying_ as it grips at him with sharp claws. Not that Oikawa is very surprised considering what he has seen from the alpha so far.

What does surprise him however is that it _doesn’t work_.

Well, that isn’t quite true either, because he can still _feel it_ weirdly enough. The push and pull of the alpha’s will crackling against his skin like electricity. He can even sense the trail of the man’s scent wrapping all around him as the alpha tries to strengthen his spoken words in any way he can but it just _isn’t working_ and the omega blinks silently in confusion. His limbs aren’t tied the way his tongue had been when Iwaizumi had told him to zip it, his body is not mindlessly itching with the need to follow every word leaving the strangers mouth like Oikawa had bended to Iwaizumi and stayed still when asked to.

It is weird. So very weird because the command is _right_ _there_ and yet it it _isn’t_ and before Oikawa can stop himself he bursts out laughing at the situation and how relief starts flooding through his systems.

Oikawa knows that commands aren’t final. Knows that they can be either strong or weak depending on a myriad of different factors. Knows that most of them can be broken free from as long as you have the mental strength and will to do so.

In fact when they had covered the subject of commands back in school they had also studied different ways and techniques that would hopefully allow them to break free if something like this was ever to happen to them but Oikawa doesn’t even have to put any of those techniques into action at the moment. Strangely enough he doesn’t even need to make an effort of fighting it.

He absolutely _should_ be fighting it, because Oikawa’s heat is just around the corner and that is _supposedly_ when omegas are normally as most susceptible to getting commanded in the first place. Their mind hazy and weak and making it hard if not straight down impossible for them to break free.

Oikawa _knows_ all of this, and yet there is _nothing_ holding him in place, the verbal chains trying to keep him prisoner against his will sliding off of him uselessly without never having managed to hook on to anything. He raises his gaze to look up the alpha just in time to see the stranger staring back at him with a bewildered look on his face, evidently not expecting the omega that he had commanded to start laughing straight in his face.

“Really?” Oikawa laughs through his nose, gently shaking his head in disbelief. He is still scared, still terrified of what could have happened but he also feels almost giddy over the ridiculousness of the situation and he can’t help but reach out and pat the strangers shoulder. “Before offering to ‘ _take care_ ’ of anyone I suggest that you work a bit on those weak little orders of yours. I mean, ff you can’t even manage bend an omega about to go into heat to your will I can’t say I have much hope for the rest of your so called ‘skills’.”

Oikawa gives the alpha’s shoulder one last condescending little pat, the grin never leaving his face before he steps past him, nose held high and clinging to this new sense of safety in order to not let the other in on how terrified he actually is, his pulse still racing at an alarming rate underneath his skin.

This time the alpha doesn’t even try to stop the omega as he walks past him and Oikawa laughs to himself all the way back to the table where Hanamaki is still waiting. He finds himself throwing a glance over his shoulder just to make sure the alpha didn’t have a change of heart and decided to follow him to try again, the omega’s heart still threatening to jump out of his ribcage at a moments notice.

Things could have ended different. So very different. Oikawa _knows_ that it could and that fact alone scares him more than he wants to admit. Things are not as bad equality wise between the genders as they were in the past, but every now and then things still happen. A notice in the newspaper, whispers on the street. Another anonymous face for the statistics. Maybe if you were lucky enough some famous person would use you as an example to speak up against the injustice of their society and pretend that they actually cared for some added brownie points from their fans.

Oikawa is not completely sure how far the alpha were willing to take things or what he actually _wanted_ to achieve in the first place, and while Oikawa hates the way his mind might be blowing things out of proportions he will happily take his wild imagination over being forced to find out the truth first hand.

Hanamaki raises an quirks up an in interest as Oikawa approaches him and leans himself across the table as the omega slides back into his seat.

“What got you looking like the cat that ate the canary hm?” Hanamaki asks him, his curiosity piqued and it only results in Oikawa bursting out into another fit of laughter. His chest still feels tight and his legs are still shaky but the sight of Hanamaki’s face alone allows him to relax, however little.

Oikawa is still not completely sure what happened back there, or why the command didn’t work on him like it should but he has a feeling that it might or might not have something to do with him having lived his life with Iwaizumi’s scent next to him for longer than the omega can remember at this point.

Maybe.

And if that happens to be the case, as much as a pain in the ass the entire scent business is Oikawa can’t help but think that at least _something_ good has come out of it.

In the end Oikawa’s heat is about as miserable as he expected it to be, if not worse with strange shadows lurking in the corner of his mind no matter how deeply he buries his face into the fabric of Iwaizumi’s clothes. An unknown and vile smell prowling around outside the safety of his nest, waiting for a moment of weakness to strike.

Oikawa refuses to let it get to him, stubbornly and repeatedly forcing the entire thing away from his mind anytime his thoughts unhelpfully decides to head in that direction and he tells himself with various degrees of success that if he just ignores it hard enough it will all go away if he just gives it enough time.

But even then, _even_ in the safety of his own room Oikawa’s mind is a turmoil of different emotions he never thought he would have to experience.

The truth however is that Oikawa is lonely and scared, and his room has never felt so small and yet so large at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Mellow_Chibi)
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated. Thank you for your lovely words and for being so nice and supportive when I suddenly decided to take a month off for NaNoWriMo camp out of nowhere. You guys are the best ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚  
> 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t,” Iwaizumi warns him in a low voice but Oikawa is just too far gone to be able to stop at this point. The fear he has been fighting ever since it happened, doing his utter best to keep it bottled away all this time is now threatening to spill over at a moments notice and he can’t, he just _can’t_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We somehow hit 50k words last chapter, 10k hits and so many kudos and comments, bookmarks and subscriptions and I am just over here weeping uncontrollably in gratitude. I had no idea that there would be so many people out there that seems to love this AU as much as I do.
> 
> So from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I couldn't have done it without any of you.

By the time Oikawa’s heat is over and he is back in action Hanamaki has run his big mouth over half the school, their team included because _of course_ he has.

In hindsight Oikawa really shouldn’t have expected anything else when he in the end had given in and told his so-called ‘friend’ about the encounter with the alpha, first at their table and then inside the cafe's bathroom. Should have taken better notice of the amused glint in Hanamaki’s eyes and should _really_ have known the man well enough to know he wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut about it.

He catches Iwaizumi staring at him during class that day, the alpha’s face turning into a frown as their eyes meet before the short haired man turns back to his textbooks. Sees the twitch of Iwaizumi’s eyebrows, the way his jaw clenches at practice as the alpha scoffs before busies himself with some of the first years with a sour expression.

It makes Oikawa so very curious, and he can’t withstand the temptation of draping himself over his friends back over the course of the week and ask him what got him so moody. 

Sometimes when Oikawa does there is a flare to Iwaizumi’s scent, something bitter passing through the smell of pine before the alpha pushes him off of him with an irritated grunt, telling him to cut it out.

“Is it often like that?” Iwaizumi finally asks him during what is _supposed_ to be their weekend, and yet their textbooks are spread out across the low table in Oikawa’s room as they study for an upcoming test together. Oikawa is in the middle of attempting to conjugate english verbs, and doing a shitty at it too as Iwaizumi speaks up, his question catching the omega off guard and he lifts his head from where it has been bent over his workbook and looks up at his friend in confusion.

“Huh?”

There is an irritated click of Iwaizumi’s tongue and then the alpha turns his head away and maybe it is just the lighting but Oikawa swears he can see the smallest hint of a flush across his friend’s face.

“Alphas being creepy fucks,” Iwaizumi clarifies. It clicks and Oikawa finds himself letting out a snort before he shakes his head, laughter light on his lips.

“No,” he says. “I mean, sometimes, but not like that. Not before that time at least.”

Iwaizumi lets out a low hum, seemingly satisfied with his answer and for a moment it looks like the alpha is about to return to his own books again, but then he suddenly pauses and Oikawa can almost see how the gears are turning inside his friends head.

“So they don’t-” Iwaizumi starts up again, but then the alpha interrupts himself with a scoff, thick brows furrowing and lips pursing into something bitter. “No, nevermind.”

But Oikawa’s interest has been piqued and it's not like the omega needs to be a genius to be able to put two and two together regarding what Iwaizumi is referring to in the first place.

“They don’t what Iwa-chan?” Oikawa prompts. “Throw commands at me to the left and right?” There is another scoff from Iwaizumi at his words that tells Oikawa that he has hit the jackpot, and he sends the alpha a cocky grin that he just knows will annoy the hell out of him. “Is that it Iwa-chan?”

“Something like that,” Iwaizumi admits and it only makes Oikawa’s grin grow even further.

“Nope.”

Oikawa can almost see the way the alpha’s muscles relaxes, something soft crossing over his friend’s face and Oikawa can’t do much more than stare, let his eyes wandering over Iwaizumi’s chiseled jaw and strong cheekbones, the way his back unconsciously straightens out as if the other had been carrying something heavy. There is a palpable change in Iwaizumi’s scent as well, the slight acrid tang that has been present over the last week slowly dissipating and giving room to something soft and fresh.

For some reason it makes Oikawa feel daring.

“In fact, I’ll let you know I have only been commanded once before,” Oikawa says with a light wink. The response is immediate. There is a forceful jerk to Iwaizumi’s head that allows Oikawa to see every single muscle of his neck working under the man’s tan skin and Oikawa finds himself holding his breath as Iwaizumi looks up at him with a deep furrow to his brows over narrowed eyes, the corner of his lips tilted downwards bitterly as the alpha opens his mouth to say something.

Whatever the alpha had been planning to say never leaves his mouth though. Instead there is a moment of clarity- green eyes widening as realization flashes over Iwaizumi’s face and then the other’s mouth snaps shut with a scoff before the alpha turns his attention back to his books once more. But there is an almost invisible smile tugging on Iwaizumi’s lips and this time Oikawa is positive he is not imagining the flush across his friends cheeks.

“Hm?” Oikawa asks, the grin never leaving his face as he puts both of his elbows on the table and puts his chin in the palm of his hand with a knowing little tilt of his head, the memories of that day in the hallway back in their school still fresh on his mind, even now years later. “Cat got your tongue Iwa-chan?”

Iwaizumi only offers him an annoyed grunt in reply and makes a point of staying bent over his book and Oikawa can’t help the soft little laugh that leaves him, his mood only lifting further as Iwaizumi’s face twitches.

“Zip it before I hit you.”

Iwaizumi’s threat just makes Oikawa laugh even harder but he at least attempts to do as he is told, returning to his studies with a happy smile on his lips without really understanding why, chewing lightly at the end of his pen as he flips through the pages, struggling to make sense of the utter mess that is Japanese history.

For a while it's just the two of them, the soft sound of their pends scribbling against paper. A soft hum there, an annoyed click of someone's tongue here when they end up having to backtrack and cross-reference with something that they had studied earlier. Oikawa feels himself getting lost in the familiarity of it once more, having long ago lost count over how many times they had studied together over the years while growing up together.

Oikawa has never really enjoyed studying, but honestly, who does. But suffering through it while having Iwaizumi next to always makes it at least _somewhat_ bearable.

“It didn’t work?” Iwaizumi asks him a while later and Oikawa blinks up from his books, slightly startled. His mind is still far deep into the finer details of the Bakumatsu period, so it takes his brain awhile before it manages to catch up and connect the dots enough for him to understand that Iwaizumi is referring to their previous conversation.

Oikawa stretches his arms over his head and lets out a small yawn, trying to decide if he should put down his pen and give Iwaizumi his full attention- or keep pretending that what happened back then didn’t bother him in the slightest.

He goes for the later, letting out another yawn before turning his gaze back to his book as if he really couldn’t care less before replying, trying to ignore the way he can literally feel Iwaizumi’s eyes burn into his skin.

“No,” Oikawa ends up replying because it didn’t and there is simply no reason for him to lie to his friend about it, even if he is still keeping a tight hold on his nonchalant and unbothered facade. “It was kind of weird really. Like, I could feel it and everything, it just didn’t _do anything_.”

“Why?”

Oikawa snorts and shrugs his shoulders because he has been wondering the same thing ever since it happened, and the only thing that really makes sense is the theory that he has regarding Iwaizumi’s scent, but it’s not like he can say that out loud. And especially not to the face of the person whose clothes he has spent the last years of his life stealing.

“Beats me. I guess that not all alpha’s are strong, violent grumps good at forcing their will on others such as yourself,” Oikawa ends up saying instead, causing Iwaizumi to huff in displeasure.

“That isn’t..” Iwaizumi cuts himself off hesitantly, his brows furrowing as he glances up at Oikawa with eyes narrowed and a sour expression crossing over his face as the alpha’s jaw clenches uncomfortably. “That isn’t how it went down and you know it, Oikawa.”

“Could have fooled me,” Oikawa says just because he can. Teasing Iwaizumi has always been a bad habit of his that he just can’t seem to grow out of. Stepping on the alpha’s sore spots is like second nature to him, familiar and harmless and it gives him something much better to focus his energy on rather than the subject at hand.

Oikawa doesn’t want to think about it anymore, he has done that enough already. Over and over again in his bed at night with nothing but Iwaizumi’s scent to help him quell the uneasiness the memories brings him. He doesn’t want to have to worry about what could have happened if the command had worked back then anymore, what the result would have been if he had ended up chained to the strangers words.

It’s all in the past and Oikawa has stubbornly and singlehandedly decided that if he just ignores it all hard enough, _pretends_ enough, it will stay that way. Maybe.

And even if it doesn’t it’s not like dwelling on it day in and out is going to change anything anyway. The only thing that brooding has done for him so far is making him feel even worse about it- make his skin tingle with uneasiness and have both panic and the feeling of bile rising to the back of his throat every time his mind decides to wander off into that direction.

Because there are more alpha’s out there like the one he had the joy of running into. He knows there is. Hell they _all_ know and maybe, just maybe the next time the command will work, and maybe it will be too strong for him to even have a shiver of a chance to fight it.

And knowing that is fucking _terrifying,_ so instead of admitting that out loud to Iwaizumi or anyone else. Or worse- _himself_ , Oikawa chooses the easy way out and to press Iwaizumi’s buttons even further, even though he knows in the back of his head that he really shouldn’t. 

Even though he _knows_ that the subject is sensitive and that the air around them is already heavy and tense with anticipation and unspoken words. 

Even though Oikawa has a feeling that it will all blow up in his face at any moment at this rate unless he stops this while he still can, before it gets too far and yet he opens his mouth anyway, because talking about the incident like adults, having to admit to how much it actually scared him- is _still_ scaring him, is hitting too close to home.

Joking it away and turning it all around on Iwaizumi is so, so much easier even though he _knows_ that the two alpha’s are nothing alike.

“What was it again? ‘ _Shut up and stay still_ ’?” Oikawa asks, pretending to not see the annoyed twitch on Iwaizumi’s face. “Not that much different from ‘stay’, now is it?”

Oikawa knows that he has taken it too far by the gleam he can see in Iwaizumi’s eyes long before the alpha has even opened his mouth.

“Well if someone could learn to keep his goddamn mouth shut instead of whining like a fucking bitch in h-,”

For a moment none of them says anything, just staring at one another, the silence growing heavy as the alpha’s unsaid word hangs in the air between them and then something suddenly snaps within the omega.

“Go on, you can say it Iwa-chan,” he urges, the sour expression on his face matching Iwaizumi’s own.

“Don’t,” Iwaizumi warns him in a low voice but Oikawa is just too far gone to be able to stop at this point. The fear he has been fighting ever since it happened, doing his utter best to keep it bottled away all this time is now threatening to spill over at a moments notice and he can’t, he just _can’t_.

“Why not, it’s the truth isn’t it?” There is a dry laughter layered on top of Oikawa’s voice as he speaks, and he can see the way Iwaizumi’s lips twitch as the alpha quickly catches on to it. “In fact I would say that’s pretty much _exactly_ what happened considering that I was in heat and everything, and-“

“I said _don’t_ ,” Iwaizumi snarls at him again but this time it is with such a force that Oikawa finds himself jerking back, eyes widening in shock as he looks at Iwaizumi’s fuming expression, a pathetic little whine on the tip of his tongue.

“Don’t you dare lump me together with that asshole,” Iwaizumi barks at him, his eyes dark as he fixes his gaze on Oikawa and the omega finds himself swallowing thickly, unconsciously shuffling further away in the face of the alpha’s anger. Iwaizumi is always intense with everything he does, brash and straight to the point and yet Oikawa can’t remember the last time there was such a ferocity burning behind his eyes and Oikawa is not completely sure how to handle that at the moment.

“Don’t you dare try and initiate that I would ever do anything like that to you, or anyone else, you hear me? Don't you fucking dare!”

The whine Oikawa has been trying to hold back rolls off his lips like the snow falls off a branch in winter- sudden and then all at once. There is a small but quiet sob wrecking through him and he forcefully bites down on his trembling lips even though he knows it's all but pointless at this point. 

He has made Iwaizumi angry with him again. But Oikawa honestly has no idea how to deal with all these feelings he has kept bottled up inside of him and honestly, it’s just so much easier to just _pretend_. To put on his fake little smile and joke it all away instead of facing the truth of what happened that day.

The thing is, Oikawa is still deeply shaken from the entire experience even though he keeps telling himself that he _isn’t._

He is terrified of that once he admits that he is- that once he acknowledges that it’s still bothering him even now, _weeks later_ it will all become real, somehow. He can’t really explain it, but _he knows_ that it will and he is simply not ready to face that. Not now, probably never.

But the floodgates has already been wrenched open, his carefully crafted walls all but smashed to pieces and it’s so hard to keep it in-, so hard to keep pretending that everything is okay when it really isn’t and Oikawa honestly wishes that he was stronger, that he was stubborn enough to not let out the beginning of a hiccup as Iwaizumi’s scowl softens. Desperately wishes that he had the willpower to not not give in when the alpha wordlessly shoves the low table which had separated them up until now to the side and holds out a hand towards him in an invitation.

But Oikawa isn’t. 

Oikawa is weak and _scared_ , and the omega ends up crawling the short distance towards his friend with another quiet sob on his lips and then his head buries itself into Iwaizumi’s chest, fingers clutching desperately at the alpha’s shirt as the first wail leaves him.

“I’m sorry Iwa-chan,” he manages to get out between small little hiccups and Iwaizumi huffs in reply before wrapping his arms around him and holds him close to him. The alpha’s scent is _everywhere_ and it’s familiar and nice- _safe_. It must have been years since the last time Iwaizumi had held him like this Oikawa finds himself thinking in passing as he lets himself be smothered against the others chest, one little snivel leaving him after another.

If he is going to be honest he can’t even remember the last time it happened anymore. Oikawa knows that he used to bury his face into his friends shoulder and cling to him like plastic wrap a lot when they were younger, in fact he has countless of memories of just that-, but as they grew up the instances became further and further apart until it vanished all together.

After all, Oikawa is not a cry baby anymore, much preferring to deal with his issues head on these days. Crying never helped anyone but god, did it feel good being pressed up against the warmth of Iwaizumi’s body. To have the man’s large hand stroke across his back in slightly hesitant, yet soothing motions.

Iwaizumi is sturdy, _real_. Much more so than the demon’s that are still hunting him is. Something that he can desperately latch onto and Oikawa can’t believe that Iwaizumi is letting what he said to him earlier just slip away in favor of comforting him but the alpha _is,_ and for some reason that knowledge just makes Oikawa cry even harder.

He doesn’t deserve him, doesn’t deserve this. Not when all Oikawa is doing is being an insufferable brat (Iwaizumi’s own words and not his by the way) that can’t even be straight with him when needed, that can’t even tell him the truth of what he has been up to during all these years.

Can’t even tell the other about these stupid feelings because even though Oikawa fully knows that he doesn’t deserve him the thought of no longer having Iwaizumi by his side terrifies him like nothing else.

Oikawa is a disgusting and pathetic excuse for both a friend and an omega and he hates himself so, so much.

He cries for the longest of times, the fear that he has held bottled up inside slowly melting away in Iwaizumi’s warm embrace. He feels safe here, like nothing bad will ever be able to touch him as long as he is in Iwaizumi’s arms and he tells himself that he is fine with this, fine with just remaining friends forever. Fine with keep on pretending as long as it means that he can always have _this,_ Iwaizumi’s steady and unyielding support and to have him pull him out of the dark depths of his mind whenever needed even if he doesn’t deserve it.

It’s selfish, he knows that it is. But Oikawa has always been exceedingly good at being selfish since the day he was born, now hasn’t he?

“I am sorry,” Oikawa mumbles wearily once his crying has calmed down somewhat and Iwaizumi’s shirt is all but ruined. The omega’s small hands are fisted in the soft fabric and Oikawa’s fingers clutches around the cloth unconsciously as he wonders what will happen now, expecting the worse.

Suddenly Oikawa feels the sensation of a warm hand threading through his hair before the alpha gently and so very carefully guides Oikawa’s head to the crook of his neck. The omega’s tired and limp body doesn’t fight, doesn’t even stop to think about the implications as he goes willingly, his now wet cheek coming to rest against a firm and steady shoulder. 

_Safe_.

Oikawa forces himself to take a shuddering breath, trying to collect himself but then the omega is whimpering for another reason entirely because seated like this his nose is all but pressed up against Iwaizumi’s scent gland and oh.

_Oh._

It’s so much better than anything else that Oikawa has managed to steal over the years this far because _of course it is_. Iwaizumi’s scent is undiluted and pure, filling his nose with its fragrance with every breath he takes and Oikawa can’t help but let out another whimper as the smell hits him full force. The omega’s tired body slumps helplessly against the alpha’s chest and it takes every last willpower Oikawa didn’t know he had to not rub his face all over Iwaizumi’s neck, dosing himself in the alpha’s scent until he is drowning in it.

There is the fleeting thought crossing Oikawa’s mind that if he actually had the guts to do it maybe other alpha’s would leave him alone from now on. Maybe he would never need to worry about being cornered or approached ever again and could just live out the rest of his days covered in Iwaizumi, safe from anyone that wants to take his free will away.

Oikawa can feel the pulse of Iwaizumi’s heartbeat against his nose, can feel his own body rocking gently with every inhale and exhale the alpha takes and he is so close. All Oikawa really has to do is tilt his head _just so_ and the omega’s cheek would be pressed straight up against the alpha’s gland. 

Just an inch and he could experience for himself what it would be like _actually_ carrying the alpha’s scent instead of just the leftover trails from Iwaizumi’s clothes. And the thought is awful and selfish- _he knows that it is,_ but Oikawa wants it so bad that it hurts all the same.

In the end Oikawa doesn’t dare to actually go through with it though, because if he did there would be questions, so many questions. None of which Oikawa would be able to give a satisfying answers to without ruining their friendship forever. But Oikawa also can’t help but nuzzle up against the alpha ever so slightly, just _a bit_ because Iwaizumi just smells _so good_ and it’s making him feel so many things. Safe and untouchable to the degree that the omega almost doesn’t notice the way Iwaizumi tenses up underneath him at the motion.

Almost. And a part of him wishes that he didn’t.

But he did, so he forces himself to lean back before things get weirder, Iwaizumi’s arms easily slipping off of him. The omega keeps his head lowered, already missing the others warmth against him as he rubs at his eyes with the back of his hand furiously as if that will somehow magically make him look presentable and not like he had just cried his eyes out.

“Sorry,” Iwaizumi suddenly says out of nowhere and it catches Oikawa off guard and the omega pauses to peer up at his friend. Oikawa is sure that Iwaizumi can tell that his eyes are slightly red from where they are peaking out under his bangs but he pushes that thought aside in favor of searching the others face with a scrunch to his nose because he has no idea what Iwaizumi has to be sorry about.

Oikawa was the one that pushed and clawed and went too far, not the other way around. Oikawa was the one that soiled Iwaizumi’s clothes and then made things weird while Iwaizumi did nothing but offer him comfort.

“I am sorry that happened to you,” Iwaizumi tells him. “...and I am sorry I wasn’t there. I should have been.”

“That isn’t-, Oikawa starts because none of that is Iwaizumi’s fault, but there is something in the alpha’s expression that makes the rest of his words die on his lips.

“I should have come with you when you invited me.” Iwaizumi’s voice is bitter, the alpha’s jaw clenching uncomfortably as he averts his gaze and Oikawa blinks as he listens, his attention undivided and the sound of his own heartbeat deafening in his own ears. “Should have had your back- but I could smell it and I just-, _fuck_ ,” Iwaizumi continues before cutting himself off with a grunt. There is a faint flush on the alpha’s face, a hesitant flicker of his glance and all of a sudden Oikawa desperately needs to know.

“Could smell what, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa asks, his voice coming out as breathless as he currently feels, causing Iwaizumi to stare back at him with a frustrated look on his face as if the other magically expected Oikawa to somehow know what is going on inside that thick skull off his. 

Which is so unfair because Oikawa is frustrated too, has been for _years_ as he has been forced to keep everything bottled up- and _he still_ isn’t sure that this is a discussion that they should be having in the first place, really.

Oikawa has already cried once today and he feels rubbed raw, exhausted and stretched thin and he is terrified of Iwaizumi saying something that will make the last piece of his emotional armor fall away to nothingness, causing everything to rush forward in a unstoppable flood and ruin everything that they are.

But Oikawa is also so very tired, tired of pretending, tired of keeping up this charade of friendship and at least this discussion is better than the one they had before he thinks. And the two of them have always been awfully good at stepping on each others toes ever since they were kids anyway, hadn’t they.

“Smell what Iwa-chan?” Oikawa presses, feeling more than seeing how Iwaizumi tenses up in front of him, something murky and unreadable lacing into the alpha’s scent as Iwaizumi makes a point of not meeting his gaze.

“You know what,” the alpha grunts back and Oikawa figures that it should probably make him feel grossed out or at the very least self aware over the fact that Iwaizumi had been able to smell his heat on him, but he isn’t. Instead there is something unknown coiling within him, low and wanting.

“And…?”

For a moment Oikawa holds his breath because maybe, just maybe it’s not just him being obsessed with that the other smells. Maybe it goes both ways- and Oikawa has no idea what that means at the moment, but he does know that it is important.

There is a furrow currently resting between Iwaizumi’s brows, his body tense in a way that the alpha only is before he is going to say something that Oikawa knows that his friend would have preferred to keep to himself.

Iwaizumi scoffs before he opens his mouth and Oikawa inches closer, holding his breath and there is both excitement and fear boiling in the depths of his stomach.

“Fucking awful that’s what.”

And just like that the moment is gone and Oikawa lets out a strangled noise before he all but launches himself at the other, accompanied with a small shriek.

Oikawa is still snotty and gross and honestly, Iwaizumi’s shirt is probably a lost cause at this point but they wrestle anyway while Oikawa yells at him that Iwaizumi is _the stinky one,_ and not the other way around thank you very much and by the end of it the two of them are a heap of limbs and heavy breaths, sprawled out together over Oikawa’s floor with matching grins tugging on their lips and a familiar and comfortable silence starting to settle between them.

It’s first when Iwaizumi has returned home for the day and Oikawa is tidying up the mess that they had made that the omega notices the abandoned piece of fabric underneath the table.

Oikawa can smell Iwaizumi on it long before he has even picked it up, and as he brings it up to his face the omega has to take a moment to collect himself as his legs grow weak because the scent it’s giving off is just that strong. 

Out of all the items that Oikawa has stolen over the years none of them has ever held the alpha’s scent as this thing. The sweater is literally oozing of _Iwaizumi,_ and when Oikawa closes his eyes it’s almost as if the alpha is there with him. The omega ends up taking a few shaking steps before he crumbles down on top of his bed, holding the fabric close to his face and just _breathes_.

If Oikawa didn’t know better he would think that Iwaizumi might have scented it even, that’s how powerful the smell of the alpha is- but that thought is stupid and obviously _wrong_ so he pushes it aside in favor of just enjoying Iwaizumi’s unknowing little gift to him for what it is.

This time around Iwaizumi’s scent has a tang of something Oikawa has never smelt on him before. Something murky. Slightly teetering and maybe, just _maybe_ a bit possessive as well and Oikawa finds himself hoping it is as he pulls breath after breath into his seemingly starving lungs until his head is spinning pleasantly- until he feels safe and _warm_ and his body is tingling all over the place.

Iwaizumi forgetting a piece of clothing in his room really couldn’t have come at a better time.

In fact, Oikawa has spent the last couple of days worrying about how to exchange his now after-heat-soiled-goods ever since he had returned to school. After the run in with the alpha Oikawa had ended up using all of Iwaizumi’s borrowed clothes during his heat, and he had used them well.

So well in fact that the scent they once carried was pretty much gone. And to make matters worse Oikawa knew that Iwaizumi’s rut was just around the corner too.

Iwaizumi might not be smelling like it yet, but ever since the alpha had started getting them they had happened month after month like clockwork- nothing like Oikawa’s first year when his hormones had done whatever they pleased before finally mellowing out and somewhat keeping to a schedule.

It hadn’t even surprised him that it turned out that way. Oikawa was a mess from his head to his toes, but Iwaizumi was firm and steady in everything that the alpha did so why would his ruts be any different.

By now it has been years since Oikawa has come to terms with that he needs Iwaizumi’s scent around him one way or the other and frankly, with a few days to go until the alpha went away for awhile the omega had found himself worrying. Because sleeping by himself for over a week together with the fact that Iwaizumi would not even be in school sounded like pure torture to him at this point.

But this is fine. In fact it is _more than fine_. Oikawa can work with this, at least until Iwaizumi’s rut is over and he can go back to his clothing stealing business once more.

And it might just be the one item instead of the three that Oikawa is used to having stored away since he had started hoarding them a few years back, but its scent is strong and _perfect,_ and Oikawa stays on his bed like that for the longest of time. His little nose buried in the soft fabric and just _existing_ as he breathes and softly rubs his face against the sweater with a content little sigh and pretends that the item was left for him and not forgotten.

The smell lasts longer than any item Oikawa has stolen before, and yet it doesn’t last long enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Mellow_Chibi)  
> A giant golden star to infrontofcameraflashes for correctly guessing the reason Iwaizumi was absent in the last chapter. Honestly you guys have been flooding me with your thoughts and theories for this story as of lately and I am living for it. Please keep them coming, I love every singly one of them!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You can’t know that,” Oikawa says, his voice nothing but a strangled whisper.
> 
> “ _Nothing_ is going to happen,” Iwaizumi repeats steadily, making Oikawa let out a pathethic little noise and close his eyes because it’s all too much, Iwaizumi is so very close, his smell _right there_ and he _can’t_. He just can't.
> 
> “I won’t let it. Not again. I told you that I should’ve had your back back then, and I meant it, alright?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to be gone for the weekend so I am dropping this chapter a bit earlier. Hope that no one minds.
> 
> Also, for those of you that are not following me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Mellow_Chibi), I am just going to let it slip that things are heating up in my HQ Hogwarts AU over there and that there might be some other stuff coming out in the near future featuring IwaOi, among other things *hint hint*. For now there is wonderful art to be had made by Auri [here](https://twitter.com/regularbrot/status/1297558524109754372) and [here](https://twitter.com/regularbrot/status/1298294313621893122) with more to come.
> 
> I am probably not going to mention this AU anymore here since this is a completely different fic and everything, but right now I am just so excited so sorry if Hogwarts AU's aren't your thing.

“Nice serve.”

The ball slams into the other side of the court with what _should_ be a satisfying thud. 

_Should_.

Instead Oikawa finds himself letting out a frustrated noise as the ball just about misses its mark and ends up outside of the white line signaling the boundaries of the court. The omega stares after it wearily as the ball bounces happily away along the floor like it has no worries in the world- which it probably _doesn’t_ if Oikawa is going to be honest, since it’s a ball and all that.

Shit, Oikawa’s head is all over the place at the moment, isn’t it? Leaving him unable to concentrate properly. He feels anxious and stressed, like a million tiny ants are crawling around just underneath his skin and it's all pissing him off so, so much because how are they supposed to win the match that they are about to play when Oikawa can’t even hit the other side of the court during their bloody warm ups?

Oikawa groans and buries his head inside the palm of his hands, allowing himself three whole seconds of self-loathing before he is over it and he slaps his own cheeks harshly. It stings but that’s the point, the pain traveling straight up to his currently uncooperative brain- effectively clearing up the haze inside his head like he had just doused himself in ice-cold water.

Next to him Iwaizumi frowns.

Oikawa makes a point out of ignoring him, choosing to focus his attention on Kunimi who is currently getting ready to serve on the other side of the net.

The first year’s serve doesn’t hold the strength that Oikawa’s own carries, but it at least hits the court before it comes rolling towards the omega as if the ball itself wants to mock him. Oikawa scoffs and takes the few steps needed to pick it up, twirling the item in his hand as he returns to the back line with a sour expression plastered on his face.

The ball goes up and it has a _good feeling_ to it. The angle is nice and its height almost perfect as Oikawa starts the run up.

One step and another. Three steps and then Oikawa’s legs are pushing him off the ground and for a moment he seems to be floating in the air. And then the ball is coming back down and Oikawa hits it, the contact creating an all too familiar throb against the palm of his hand and then he is falling, his feet landing softly on the hard wooden floor of the gymnasium and Oikawa holds his breath as the ball is sent directly into the net.

 _Fuck_.

Oikawa lets out a frustrated noise that doesn’t even sound human, one hand shooting up into his hair to tear at it. When he had been up in the air he had been so sure that he was on the right track this time around but now, back down on the ground Oikawa can once again feel the uncertain starting to crackle loudly under his skin, all but floading his mind and the omega swears loudly before turning around on his heels and angrily stomps off the court because what’s the fucking point anyway if he can’t even get the ball over the net.

It’s all so bloody _stupid_.

It’s been a month since what Oikawa has made the executive decision of naming ‘the incident’ happened. And while that _should_ have been more than enough time for him to forget about it altogether it has _also been a fucking month_ and even though he has taken enough suppressors and slapped on scent patches to last him a lifetime for once the omega can’t stand being in the spotlight of the court at the momemnt.

Normally Oikawa loves the attention given to him during a game. He is usually _living_ for the burning glares the opposing team gives him as they gauge him up. Loves the way the audience follows his every move. 

It’s not about him though. Their opponents are here to win, the audience is here to have a good time and Oikawa _knows_ that that's all there is to the attention he is receiving.

He _fucking knows_ alright, but that doesn’t make him feel any better about it. Doesn’t stop the way his skin is crawling and how his fingers itch. Doesn’t stop Oikawa’s mind from putting cocky grins on people’s face and make him feel like they all fucking know what time of the month it is for him as they watch him with dark, knowing eyes.

“ _ **Stay**.”_

Oikawa needs to get out of here.

Oikawa almost stumbles as he picks up his jersey from the bench along the side of the court before making an half-assed excuse about needing to go to the bathroom to their coach before all but fleeing from the scene. 

Maybe if he can just get away from everything for awhile he will be able to clear his head before the game starts because about the last thing that Oikawa needs at the moment is to fuck things up for his team because of one, stupid little incident _were nothing_ really happened in the first place.

He should be better than this, _stronger_ than this.

It’s an important game and yet Oikawa is unable to think about anything else than how he is currently smelling underneath his layers of scent patches.

There is no one else in Seijoh’s allotted changing room- why would there be with their team already having finished changing a long time ago. And yet Oikawa finds himself drawing a sigh of relief for its emptiness as he approaches his own locker and opens it. The metallic noise that it makes echoes against the flat, tired-looking tiles on the floor and the ugly and worn down benches lined up in the rooms middle, ringing loudly in Oikawa’s ear.

The changing room and honestly even the entirety of the gymnasium itself have most likely seen better days but Oikawa is more than used to it at this point. Tokyo is where the fancy stuff is at. Or at least that was what Oikawa had been led to believe. Not that he or his team had ever made it to the big city in the first place thanks to a certain Ushiwaka and his stupid and pretentious team.

Not that any of that mattered if Oikawa couldn’t even manage to make it through their warmups with his focus intact. 

The omega heaves a sigh and goes back to digging through his bag. He knows that there still are some patches hiding away in there _somewhere_ , he just can’t seem to find them. Just then the omega feels his fingers nudge at something cold and plastic and his hand unconsciously close around a small container that he pulls it out with a small frown, scrutinizing its label.

How many suppressants can you actually take in a day’s time, by the way?

The small text printed on the bottle is telling him that two is the limit but Oikawa has already swallowed that down with his breakfast this morning but that was already a few hours ago so just one more wouldn’t really hurt him, right?

The limit is probably set low on purpose anyway to make sure that people don't overdose by mistake so Oikawa is pretty certain that he is good for one- _two_ more even.

Maybe.

Probably.

The omega is so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn’t even notice the telltale sound of the door opening, announcing another person arriving and the heavy thuds of footsteps against the floor.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong this time around or am I going to have to drag it out of you as always?”

The voice catches him off guard, his body jerking to attention where he is standing and causing him to lose his grip on the bottle. The container falls to the floor and Oikawa follows the container with a blink as it starts to roll its way across the dirty tiles, the loose pills inside making a clattering sound that reverberates through the air as it spins around and round.

As the bottle rolls closer and closer to Iwaizumi the alpha pushes off the doorframe that he had been up leaning against and Oikawa watches with a sinking feeling in his stomach as Iwaizumu leans down and picks up the pill bottle with a huff, turning the item over in his hand and dragging his eyes across the label before throwing Oikawa a glance, lips pursed.

“How many have you taken?” Iwaizumi asks him in a flat voice and Oikawa finds himself huffing before averting his eyes, petulantly refusing to answer the question because how many pills he has or hasn’t chugged down is none of the alpha’s damn business.

“ _Oikawa_.” Iwaizumi’s steps are both steady and firm as the man walks across the room, getting closer to the omega by the second and Oikawa finds himself swallowing thickly as a large hand is placed on top of his shoulder before roughly turning him around. Iwaizumi forces Oikawa to face him as he holds up the bottle in his line of sight leaving no room for argument. “How many?”

Oikawa stubbornly tries to nab the container from Iwaizumi’s hands because it’s _his pills_ dammit, but the other just slaps his hand away and pushes him backwards. Oikawa stumbles backwards in suprise, his eyes widdening as his back connects roughly with the metallic and cold locker behind him, causing him to let out a small and startled wheeze. Iwaizumi remains unfazed by Oikawa’s discomfort. In fact there is no hesitation in Iwaizumi’s movements when he steps even closer and shoves the bottle into Oikawa’s face. 

“How many Oikawa.”

Oikawa curses under his breath and looks away, for some reason finding himself unable to meet the alpha’s probing gaze. Iwaizumi’s eyes are narrowed dangerously and so _dark-_ Oikawa can’t even recall the last time that Iwaizumi has looked this infuriated with him.

“Two,” Oikawa finally admits, risking a quick glance in Iwaizumi’s direction. The alpha jaw is clenched, lips tugged downwards into something bitter as if Iwaizumi doesn’t quite believe him. “I am not lying,okay?” Oikawa bites out before making another attempt at snatching the bottle from Iwaizumi’s fingers. It goes about as well as last time, the only thing he really succeeds in is making Iwaizumi give him a long look before putting the item into the pocket of his pants without another word.

“Give it back already,” Oikawa grumbles.

“No.”

Oikawa lets out a frustrated noise and then he lunges forward, his fingers automatically reaching for the alpha’s pants as he tries to get the container back. Iwaizumi swears loudly before catching his wrists with his hands, making quick work of stopping him. “The hell is wrong with you?”

“Give it back!” Oikawa shouts, his feelings about to spill over as he jerks his hands violently trying to get them out of Iwaizumi’s hold because if he can’t get the suppressants back he- 

But Iwaizumi has always been the stronger one out of the two of them and the alpha’s has his hands in a grip of iron. 

“I said _no_ ,” Iwaizumi snarls back at him, irritation clear in his voice. “What do you even need that shit for anyway, you don’t even fucking smell like anything!?”

“Yeah well, maybe I _will,_ ” Oikawa quickly counters with urgency. “ _Maybe_ -”

And for some reason that’s the moment the omega’s voice finally decides to give out on him and Oikawa lets out a low noise as he slumps back against the locker, his eyes fluttering close and breath unsteady.

It doesn’t matter that IWaizumi tells him that he doesn’t smell like anything because just because the suppressants and patches seem to be working at the moment doesn’t mean that they will be in the heat of the game. Doesn’t mean that-

“Oikawa.”

The omega’s eyes blinks open, not having realized that his mind had started spiraling.

Iwaizumi’s voice is steady- _grounding_ and Oikawa latches onto it with everything he is, so caught up in his scattered thoughts that he doesn't notice when the other cups his cheek.

In fact it’s first when Iwaizumi leans his forehead against Oikawa’s own, the alpha’s breath ghosting over the lower part of his face and his eyes so close that all Oikawa can see is a green blur that his mind finally catches up only to immediately shortcut again.

_What._

“Listen to me. _Nothing_ is going to happen to you, okay?” Iwaizumi tells him firmly, topped off with a growl and Oikawa wants to believe him so badly, he really does but he can’t. He just _can’t_ because it already happened once which means that it can happen again and-

“You can’t know that,” Oikawa says, his voice nothing but a strangled whisper.

“ _Nothing_ is going to happen,” Iwaizumi repeats steadily, making Oikawa let out a pathetic little noise and close his eyes because it’s all too much, Iwaizumi is so close, his smell _right there_ and he _can’t_. He just can’t.

“I won’t let it. Not again. I told you that I should have had your back back then, and I meant it, alright?”

Oikawa’s throat feels strangely thick and he forces himself to swallow past it. Forces himself to ignore the way his eyes are burning because he can’t cry, not now. They have an important match starting at any moment and Oikawa has appearances to keep up, even though all he really wants right now is to stay in this moment where he is standing so close to the alpha that the heat of Iwaizumi’s body is seeping into his own.

“Okay,” Oikawa finally manages to stutter out and Iwaizumi hums, his thumb brushing lightly across his cheek and Oikawa feels himself melting into the other’s touch.

Oikawa’s eyes are still closed and if he thinks that if he just pretends hard enough he can almost fool himself into thinking that there is a deeper meaning to Iwaizumi’s words other than his friend just wanting to keep him safe.

That them standing pressed up together like this with Iwaizumi’s hand on his face is something common and nothing out of the ordinary.

That this- _they,_ are actually _a thing_ , and not the one-sided crush that Oikawa has been nursing for years at this point.

Maybe if he is sneaky enough he can pretend to shuffle a bit, steal a nuzzle or two against the side of Iwaizumi’s face because god knows if Oikawa will ever get the chance to be this close to his friend ever again after today.

But before Oikawa has a chance to put his nefarious plan into action Iwaizumi's head is moving and the omega lets out a sigh that is half disappointment and half relief.

While having Iwaizumi this close to him, the alpha’s face only inches from his own had been nice Oikawa also doesn’t know how much more of it that he would have been able to take without having all his locked up feelings bursting forward all at once, causing him to do something stupid that he will come to regret for the rest of his life.

“It’s weird,” Iwaizumi mutters quietly and it's about then that Oikawa realizes that Iwaizumi’s head is actually not moving away from him as much as it’s moving along his face, the alpha’s breath ghosting lightly over his cheek and then down along his jaw until it settles somewhere just slightly underneath his chin, hot and insistent.

Oikawa’s eyes shots open, the first signs of panic curling low in the pit of his stomach.

“Iwa-chan, what-”

“You really don’t smell like anything,” Iwaizumi elaborates with a huff. And even though the omega can’t see the other’s face there is no way to mistake the frown woven into the alpha’s voice.

“Well, that means that the suppressants are working, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa replies, a weak attempt at sneaking in a joke even though his throat feels so tight that he is surprised that he manages to get anything out at all.

_What-, why?_

“It’s weird,” Iwaizumi repeats and Oikawa has to bite back a pathetic noise as the alpha moves his hand from where he had been cupping his face until it’s resting at the base of his throat instead. One of the alpha’s thumbs strokes along the small edge of the scent patches currently covering Oikawa glands. And then so quietly that Oikawa almost misses it, “I don’t like it.”

And while Oikawa had been able to stop the embarrassing sound from escaping earlier there is no stopping the sharp inhale of breath that his body involuntarily takes. Iwaizumi leans back just enough for him to send him a frown and Oikawa honestly has no idea what’s going on anymore at the moment, his mind running in circles because while small touches aren’t exactly uncommon between them it’s always him that initiates them, and not the other way around.

“I thought that I _‘smelled fucking awful’_ ,” Oikawa manages to get out somehow, even though he feels that his voice doesn’t even sound like itself. If Iwaizumi notices the alpha doesn’t say anything, instead just rolling his eyes.

“Well, ’ _awful_ ’ is still better than nothing.”

And ah, Oikawa can do that. Can bicker and jest even if it feels like his heart is currently running a mile a minute. He doesn’t know Iwaizumi’s hand on his face and breath against his skin but he _knows this_.

“Wow Iwa-chan, that’s just so insensitive of you! If I was a beta you would have just about broken my poor little heart by now.”

There is a sound that sounds strangely like a snort from Iwaizumi but Oikawa doesn’t get the time to reflect over it further because then the alpha’s head is leaning forward again, his cheek brushing against Oikawa’s own and nose almost touching at the omega’s temple. Thick fingers curling lightly where they are placed at the base of his throat as the alpha’s words dance across his skin. “But you are not a beta, now are you?”

Oikawa lets out a noise that sounds suspiciously like a squeak because no, _he is not but_ right now he kind of desperately wishes that he was because for some reason Iwaizumi’s scent suddenly seems to be stronger than before and it’s _doing things to him_. Things that are _very hard_ to hide when Iwaizumi is all but pressed up against him like this.

Things that threaten to make his thighs quiver in want and Oikawa slumps further back against the locker behind him, desperately trying to focus on the way the cold metal feels against his skin but all it really does is making the heat the alpha is radiating so much more evident.

 _Shit_.

Because suppressants or not Oikawa is still in preheat, and while he might not smell much himself at the moment he quickly finds out that he is still more than susceptible to Iwaizumi’s scent and he is also painfully aware of that the patches on his neck are going to do nothing to hide the smell of his slick once it starts seeping out of him.

 _Shitshitshit_.

Oikawa can’t help the low whine that escapes him and he fists his hands by his sides and presses them against the lockers to stop them for reaching out, to stop them from latching onto whatever they can in their sudden need to _feel_ and it’s not fair- it’s _not fair at all_ for Iwaizumi to do this to him right now and god, he smells so, so good.

“You know, I could...” Iwaizumi’s voice sounds strangely thick as it drifts off on itself and Oikawa’s eyes darts over to the others face just in time to catch the alpha lips twisting into something disgruntled. “...no, nevermind.”

Oikawa wants to strangle him. 

No scratch that, he wants to hit him and _then strangle him_.

Or strangle him and then hit him, both options are fine at this point really, because what the hell?

“Could what, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa bites out because he wants to know, but he also really, really doesn’t and the omega forces himself to breathe normally as Iwaizumi stays quiet next to him before heaving a sigh. 

“Close your eyes.”

“What?”

“Just shut up already and do it.”

Oikawa blinks but in the end his curiosity wins and makes him give in, not that he wouldn’t anyway with Iwaizumi smelling like that only inches away from him. 

So the omega slowly leans further back against the wall and closes his eyes, his heart hammering away in his chest, both terrified and desperately needing to do what Iwaizumi will do to him at the same time.

At first nothing happens and Oikawa stays still, hyper aware of how Iwaizumi is _right there_. His heart is in his throat, his quick breathing loud in his ears. 

He licks his lips.

Another second passes. Another huff of air is breathed against his skin and then he senses Iwaizumi starting to move and Oikawa would probably have left out a cry of relief over that something is actually _finally happening_ if his body wasn’t currently frozen in place.

There is a brush of skin against his jaw. Something traveling down his neck and then up again. A warm breath against his temple, in his hair and Oikawa doesn’t know how to breathe anymore. Doesn’t even know how to think because everything smells like Iwaizumi, warm and heady and perfect and then Oikawa’s mind somehow gets its shit together long enough to put two and two together.

Iwaizumi is scenting him.

The realization makes his body move on itself without any input of his brain and Oikawa takes a shuddering breath, his hands reaching up to fist in Iwaizumi’s jersey for support as his legs threaten to give out on him.

Oikawa has been thinking about this for as long as he can remember.

Has _fantasized about it_ so many times by this point that he has lost count, knowing that Iwaizumi actually scenting him would never be more than a pleasant daydream.

And yet.

And _yet-_

Oikawa knows that he should push him away before things get worse. Before he ends up doing something that he will come to regret.

He knows.

He just needs another second, just another moment of this-, of Iwaizumi running his nose through his hair and attaching his scent to Oikawa’s skin.

Just a moment longer and then Oikawa will never ask for anything ever again, he swears it.

He feels pleasantly warm. Cozy. Like the feeling he gets when he is wrapped up in a blanket on a cold day, nursing a cup of hot cocoa and with his favorite movie playing in the background.

It doesn’t even surprise him that getting scented by Iwaizumi feels like coming home.

There is something unknown working its way up the omega’s throat. Something that doesn’t quite make it all the way to his mouth and ends up getting struck somewhere halfway through, the sound of it vibrating softly against his vocal cords and it’s with a small sense of wonder that Oikawa realizes that he has started purring.

Oikawa has never purred before.

He vaguely remembers his mother doing it to him when he was young when they were curled up together and how much he had enjoyed feeling the reverberating sound against his temple as she nuzzled against him and nosed through his hair.

Suddenly Oikawa is made painfully aware that Iwaizumi has stopped moving and the omega’s eyes blinks open just as the alpha leans back to look up at him, green eyes wide and all at once the panic comes crashing down on him like a wave against the shore.

 _Nonono_.

This is _not_ how Iwaizumi finds out. This is _not_ how everything ends- inside a shabby locker room in an foreign gymnasium before one of the most important matches of their high school careers.

Oikawa is not having it.

“Oikawa-” Iwaizumi starts hestianly, his mouth opening to form the rest of his words but Oikawa doesn’t give him the chance to finish, desperately shoving at the alpha’s shoulders. The sudden action catches Iwaizumi off guard and the alpha is forced to take a stumbling step backwards to keep his balance. Once he has his bearings Iwaizumi’s eyes darts back up at him, the orbs still wide in shock or confusion.

Oikawa doesn’t care much for which of the two options it is as he cocks his hip to the side and forces himself to get his shit together.

“ _What the hell Iwa-chan_?!”

The alpha rubs at his chest where Oikawa had shoved at him before, his brows knitting tightly together. “ _Haah?_ You are the one that-”

“You can’t just go around and _do that to people-,_ what is _wrong with you?!”_ Oikawa interrupts him, turning the focus back on Iwaizumi because nope, they are _not_ going to talk about anything that Oikawa might have or might not have done- or the possible meanings behind it, not today mister, nuh-huh.

“I was just-” the alpha starts before cutting himself off with a scoff. He takes a step backwards and averts his eyes, the corner of his lips tilting downwards into something bitter and it’s then that Oikawa realizes that his outburst might have done nothing but somehow fucking things up even further. _Shit._

“Sorry.”

The alpha still refuses to look at him and suddenly there is an awful ache lodged deep inside Oikawa’s chest. “ _Iwa-chan_ -”

“I said I was sorry, alright?!” There is something hateful in Iwaizumi’s eyes as he speaks and Oikawa is shocked when he realizes that the anger is not directed towards him, but the alpha himself.

“I thought that it would help. Keep shitheads like the other one away or whatever without you having to stuff yourself full with shit in the process.” Iwaizumi pauses and takes a breath and runs a stressed hand through his hair before continuing, his voice lowering until it’s just a low mumble. “Didn’t really stop and think it through long enough to realize that it just put me on the same level as him and that you would end up hating it that much, so sorry, alright?”

There is something cold wrapping its disgusting fingers around Oikawa’s heart at Iwaizumi’s words because there had been a million thoughts rushing through his head back then and literally none of them had been about that.

He hadn’t hated it, not by a long shot. In fact Oikawa had liked it. So much in fact that he had ended up panicking and pushed Iwaizumi away, terrified that the alpha would find out just how desperate Oikawa is for him.

“That isn’t-” Oikawa starts, but the rest of his words die out on his lips as he realizes that Iwaizumi is not even looking at him anymore. It hurts him seeing Iwaizumi like that, and it hurts even more knowing that it’s all Oikawa’s fault in the first place.

He slowly reaches out and wraps his fingers around the alpha’s wrist and tugs at it lightly, catching Iwaizumi’s attention. Oikawa takes a deep breath and licks his lips.

“I didn’t hate it,” Oikawa admits and it’s _hard_ forming the words, even harder forcing them out and off his lips but it’s the truth and Oikawa keeps his eyes lowered as he pokes at the ground with the toe of his shoe, secretly wishing that a hole will magically open up underneath him and swallow him up whole. “I just-” 

Oikawa takes a deep breath and then another, practically feeling the way the alpha’s eyes are burying into the top of his skull.

He doesn’t have the guts to meet Iwaizumi’s gaze.

“It just caught me by surprise, so I just- well,” Oikawa says. “Except for my family I haven’t really... _you know._ ” He waves his hand and winches lightly as he speaks, desperately trying to find a balance between making things right between them but not giving everything away either. “...and you are not like that. I mean, I _know_ that you are not so it’s fine, okay?”

“It’s fine?” Iwaizumi asks him, the voice sounding slightly raspy in a way Oikawa can’t remember ever hearing before and he squeezes the alpha’s wrist and nods his head, his heart hammering loudly in his chest.

“Yeah,” he swallows. There is _that thing_ in the air between them again that Oikawa can’t quite put his finger on, heavy and electric. It makes it hard to breathe, hard to think and the omega wets his lips with his tongue and tries to keep his voice steady. “It’s fine. Like you said it might even help against people like that, so it’s fine.”

In front of him Oikawa can hear the way Iwaizumi sucks in a breath and then the alpha twists his hand gently until their palms are touching, his larger finger curling around Oikawa’s own. The inside of Iwaizumi’s hand is rough and calloused, but it’s warm too and Oikawa can’t help but wonder if this counts as them holding hands or not.

He hopes that it does.

“So what you are saying is that scenting you is fine?” Iwaizumi asks, wanting him to clarify and Oikawa’s eyes flutter close as he fights off the wave of want that rushes through him.

 _Yes_ , Oikawa desperately wants to say. Wants Iwaizumi to cover him from head to toe until there isn’t even a trace of his own scent to be found on him and not only when he is close to his heat but _always._ Wants to drown in it until he can’t breathe. Wants to never need to steal another item of the alpha’s clothing ever again.

Oikawa says none of those things. Instead he squeezes the alpha’s hand and hopes to god that Iwaizumi can’t feel the way his pulse is jumping against his skin and that the suppressants that he took this morning somehow manages to keep the needy and desperate scent of his arousal at bay.

“Yeah,” Oikawa breathes, his fingers tracing softly along the skin of Iwaizumi’s palm. “If it’s Iwa-chan, it’s fine.”

There is a flare to Iwaizumi’s scent and oh, Oikawa likes that. Really, _really_ likes that and suddenly the omega is pulled forward, almost stumbling straight into Iwaizumi’s chest.

“Oikawa _-”_

His name is spoken through clenched teeth and it sounds good like that, urgent and desperate. Almost as if Iwaizumi needs him as much as Oikawa needs him.

As if-

The door the locker room suddenly bursts open just as Oikawa’s hand is reaching forward to clutch at the alpha’s jersey and instead of pulling and bringing them closer it pushes, forcing them to part as both their head snaps towards the door and their teammate that is now standing there, his eyebrow arched up under pink bangs and a smug expression plastered on his face as his eyes drags between them.

“Am I interrupting something?” Hanamaki grins and Oikawa is about three seconds away from reaching into his locker and hurling the first object that he can get his hands on into his friend's face.

But before Oikawa gets the chance to rearrange Makki’s face Iwaizumi steps around him to place himself between them. It’s a bit overprotective, alphan- and it makes Oikawa feel all warm inside.

“No,” Iwaizumi’s voice is unwavering, unaffected in a way that Oikawa most certainly is not as the alpha crosses his arms across his chest. “What’s up.”

Hanamaki regards the two of them for a while longer before letting out a huff and pointing at the area behind his back with his thumb. “The match is starting and coach is wondering where the hell you guys were up to.”

“Fixing something,” Iwaizumi replies before shooting Oikawa a glance over his shoulder, his eyes softening ever so slightly. “Come one.”

Oikawa doesn’t trust his voice enough to speak so he just nods before stepping after the other.

If Hanamaki notices the way that Oikawa smells as he walks past him he doesn’t mention it, but Oikawa can feel his friends eyes burn into the back of his neck nonetheless.

They end up winning the game and through the whole thing Oikawa doesn’t spare as much as a thought for any alpha that is not standing on the court.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Mellow_Chibi)
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to Typhemoonrise and their utter hate for Makki and his tendency to show up at the worst of times. Whoops.
> 
> If you like the story so far, please considering dropping a comment and letting me know! It really means the world to me.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But as things often stand when it comes to Iwaizumi Oikawa has realized that words are not actually always needed, as confusing as that might sound. Sometimes security doesn’t come in words, but in the way a body stands just a bit closer to his own.
> 
> Sometimes it isn’t about daring declarations spoken out loud for everyone to hear, but the small things in between. 
> 
> Sometimes safety isn’t empty promises as much as it is the scent of pine sticking to his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is what I like to call the 'calm before the storm'. Starting next chapter things are going to go south and they are going to go south _fast_.
> 
> So you know, enjoy the fluff while it lasts. Whops.

“Thank you for your time Oikawa-san. We will be in touch.”

Oikawa gives the woman in front of him one of his best, award-winning smile before standing. “The pleasure has been all mine, Inoue-san,” he replies pleasantly. “I will be looking forward to hearing from you.”

It’s Oikawa’s third meeting for the day and frankly, he is far beyond exhausted. He can’t even begin to imagine the pain that the students who don't get offered any scholarships have to go through in order for them to get accepted into a university.

A lot of entrance exams, probably. 

Oikawa doesn’t think that he has ever been so happy with his choice of taking up volleyball and giving it his all as he is in that moment, walking through the front gate of Chou University after having suffered through his last interview for the day.

He is so tired.

It turns out that Tokyo is nothing like Miyagi. Not that he expected it to be or anything, but there had still been a part of him that had stupidly believed that there would at least be some kind of greenery hidden between the crooks and crannies of the bustling city life. 

Oikawa had been wrong. It would seem that in a city of nine million people there is not much room for anything, not even a single square meter of untouched nature hidden between the space of two tall buildings.

There are public parks, he guesses. But in the end they too are man made things and a far cry from the wild side of nature that the omega has grown up in and Oikawa finds himself wondering, and not for the first time since he and Iwaizumi had arrived with the Shinkansen that morning if he will ever be able to fit in in a city that doesn’t even seem to have time for its own people.

Maybe and maybe not. But for now the only thing Oikawa can think about as he makes his way through the crowd on the street is that Iwaizumi should be just about done with his own interviews as well.

They should celebrate, he thinks. Get themselves something nice to eat tonight or something-even though all Oikawa really wants is to be alone and away from the bustling crowd he just can’t seem to escape no matter where he goes.

The trains are the worst offender of them all, their insides stuffed to the brim with people even at this time of the day and Oikawa can’t even begin to imagine what the actual rush hour in Tokyo is like. There are already so many different scents surrounding him that his overwhelmed brain can’t even begin to sort one from another anymore. They make his head spin and he can feel his body screaming at him to sit down, take a breathe- but scoring a seat on the Yamanote line seems about as likely as winning the lottery at this point so with a resigned sigh Oikawa clutches the overhead handle harder and remains standing, counting the stops until he can get off inside his head.

He desperately wants this day to be over and done with. _Almost_ even wishes that his heat happened to be close so that he could maybe get Iwaizumi to scent him.

It’s been... a good couple of months. 

No. It has been an _amazing_ couple of months where Oikawa at times has even found himself looking forward to his heats instead of just feeling his usual growing sense of impending doom as they drew near.

Well, not exactly the heats themselves, but the days before.

It had taken them a while to get used to it all. Had taken even longer for Oikawa to work up the courage to ask after that first time back in the changing rooms- but now all Oikawa has to do is to tug on the hem of the alpha’s jersey in the morning as they walk to school together with a tilt of his head, a silent request in his eyes and Iwaizumi will just silently pull him close and give a quick brush his neck against Oikawa’s own.

It’s never as throughout as the time when the alpha scented him in the locker, and the faint trails of pine Iwaizumi gifts him with rarely stays all the way until the evening but Oikawa will gladly (and greedily) take everything that he can get, however little. He doesn’t fool himself into believing that it actually means something, the scenting that’s it. It’s just the bare minimum needed to keep other alpha’s at an arm length away. And yet Oikawa doesn’t think that he has ever been happier than he is walking around school during his pre-heats, carrying the smell of his childhood friend on his skin.

They don’t talk about it, what happened in the cafe. Not anymore. Not since the day that Oikawa had broken down in his room, projecting everything that he had been feeling onto his friend. Not since Iwaizumi had stopped him from overdosing on his suppressants before the game.

But as things often stand when it comes to Iwaizumi Oikawa has realized that words are not actually always needed, as confusing as that might sound. Sometimes security doesn’t come in words, but in the way a body stands just a bit closer to his own.

Sometimes it isn’t about daring declarations spoken out loud for everyone to hear, but the small things in between. 

Sometimes safety isn’t empty promises as much as it is the scent of pine sticking to his skin.

They decide on meeting up at a small restaurant two blocks or so from their hotel for dinner and Oikawa is quick to notice that Iwaizumi looks about as drained as he feels himself and once they are done ordering their food he can’t help but lightly nudge his friends leg under the table with a foot and giving him a smile as Iwaizumi’s green eyes flicks up to meet his own.

“How was it?” Oikawa asks and Iwaizumi lets out a low grunt in response. They had both gotten their fair share of offers from potential universities, some together and some not but that didn’t mean that things were set in stone, therefore the seemingly never-ending stream of interviews that they had spent today suffering through. They still needed to make a good impression after all, prove boards that they were actually worth the seats that they were offering them in their programs. “Think any of them are going to pan out?”

The alpha shrugs his shoulder with a tired huff just as their food arrives, cutting their conversation short when the waitress walks over and places their food on the table together with their bill faced down as is custom before excusing herself. “I don’t know,” Iwaizumi says fleetingly as he reaches towards the utensils in the small basket placed by the end of the table and grabs two sets, wordlessly holding one of them out to him. “How about you?”

“Hmm...” Oikawa ponders as he unfurls the napkin the knife and fork were wrapped up in before all but digging into his bowl of carbonara. He had been so busy running from one university to another all day that he hadn’t even noticed how hungry that he had gotten before his food had been placed in front of him. “I am not so sure about the first two, but I have a good feeling about the last. Not that it matters.”

Across the table Iwaizumi cocks an eyebrow at him. “No?”

Oikawa hums as he absentmindedly twirls some of the pasta onto his fork, leaning one of his elbows on the table in front of him as he watches the way the noodles move around on his plate. “No,” he agrees. “Iwa-chan didn’t get invited to Chou so...”

The omega trails off with a dismissive wave of his hand, leaving the rest of the words unsaid between them as he takes a bite of his food, his eyes fluttering close as its flavor explodes on his tongue and he hurriedly shoves some more of it into his mouth.

“Chou is a good university though,” Iwaizumi points out around a mouthful of his own before motioning at him with his fork. “If they end up accepting you you should go.”

Oikawa frowns and leans his head into the palm of his hand, busying himself with poking around on his plate and trying to get some of the close to nonexistent pieces of bacon on his fork. Cheapskates. “Maybe,” he replies fleetingly, not really meaning it and thankfully Iwaizumi doesn’t press the issue further.

The prospect of leaving the safety of Miyagi behind is scary enough as it is already, but having to live by himselfin a city he doesn’t even know is _terrifying_. Oikawa is going to burn down his kitchen within the first week, break his shower before the end of the next and by the third his apartment is going to be a complete trash dump because he will keep messing up the days of trash collection and having to resign himself to the fate of needing to store everything inside his room, he just knows it.

And honestly, what’s the point of the both of them moving all the way to Tokyo if they can’t even be together, at least during school?

“I don’t get why we can’t just get an apartment together, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says, not for the first time and across the table Iwaizumi heaves a sigh before running a hand through his hair. “It would be cheaper, after all.”

“You know why.”

Oikawa pouts and stabs at his pasta. Yeah, he knows why. That doesn’t mean that he likes it any less. Things are not as bad as they used to be in the past when it came to the whole separation between the genders shebang, especially in the larger cities but some things still stands. Namely it being near impossible to find a landlord willing to rent out an unit to an unmated alpha and omega.

“Fine, I’ll just get an apartment by myself. And then Iwa-chan can come live with me as my dirty little secret.”

In front of him Iwaizumi snorts before shoveling more of his food into his mouth and giving him a gentle kick under the table that makes Oikawa glare daggers at him. “There is a good reason why people wouldn’t want to rent to us,” Iwaizumi points out. “Or are you somehow forgetting the entire rut and heat thing, somehow?”

Sadly Oikawa has not forgotten.

“We would figure something out,” he argues, even though he knows that it’s pointless because even with their own private rooms there is no way that they would be able to properly quarantine themselves from each other, and the meaningful glance Iwaizumi sends him tells him as much.

It would be hell, being in the midst of his heat and _knowing_ that the only thing separating him and the alpha he has spent yearning for was one, single wall.

It would be hell having Iwaizumi lock himself up in his room and for the omega to catch a whiff of the alpha’s rut leaking out from underneath his door every time Oikawa stepped into the hallway.

It would be hell, he _knows it would,_ and yet Oikawa wants.

____________________

The cityscape of Tokyo is somehow even more impressive at night than what it had been during the day Oikawa has come to realize as he stares out at the uncountable numbers of light seemingly floating around in the city beyond through the window of their hotel room.

Because while permanently living together might be off the table, sharing a room to save some money when both of their hormones are in check is not. And it’s not like it’s much different from when they stay over at each other's houses back home anyway.

 _Home_.

Oikawa doesn’t know if he will ever be able to call this city home. Doesn’t even know if he wants to. Home is the back of their gardens and their shared route to school. Home is waltzing into Iwaizumi’s house and raiding their pantry because there was nothing at home that caught Oikawa’s attention.

Home is the smell of the forest and green eyes lightly crinkled up in wordless laughter.

All his life Oikawa feels like he has been in a hurry to grow up- to _become something_ but now, with the uncertainty of his future stretching out seemingly endlessly in front of him in a city that makes him feel nothing but unimportant and small, the omega no longer knows what he was in such a hurry for.

Behind him Oikawa hears the rustle of fabric as Iwaizumi moves from his bed, followed by muted footsteps against the carpentered floor.

In front of him the city is lit up like an ocean of artificial stars, bright and consuming. A stark contrast to the night sky that Oikawa is used to seeing back home in Miyagi.

Here, not a single star makes it through the haze of the light pollution of Tokyo that night, and probably never will.

With no natural nature to speak of Tokyo is a city built on dreams, and nothing about it feels real to him. Why did he even want to come here in the first place?

“It will be fine,” Iwaizumi assures him as the alpha comes to a stop behind him, catching his bitter expression in the reflection of the window as their gazes meet among the flares of light. “Even if we won’t attend the same university it will be okay. Even if we end up living far away from one another it will still only be a train ride away.”

Oikawa knows that Iwaizumi is trying to comfort him but all the omega can really think about is how ‘ _just a train ride away_ ’ is still a much farther greater distance than the house across the street.

Oikawa sighs and leans backwards until he is resting against Iwaizumi’s chest and closes his eyes, something warm spreading through his insides as the alpha lets him without as much as a grunt in complaint.

Instead Iwaizumi nudges his noses against the side of his head and for a moment Oikawa allows himself to get lost in it and he leans further back into the sturdiness of the alpha’s chest and silently finding himself wondering if the alpha has any idea how much these small signs of affection means to him at times like these, how much it calms him down from the inside out.

Between the two of them Oikawa has always been the clingy one, more often than not showing his affection for others through touches but ever since Iwaizumi scented him he too has started to do things like this. Only in private though, only when Oikawa is distressed or upset about something like now.

Oikawa doesn’t know if the alpha can smell his worry on him, or if Iwaizumi is able to fully read him like an open book after all the years that they have spent together. 

Doesn’t know if this is just some kind of deeply lodged alphan instinct, to care and protect that has surfaced ever since the entire scenting business began.

The worst thing is that Oikawa has come to realize that he doesn't actually care about the reason behind it. Not as long as he can have Iwaizumi like this, pressed up behind like they are something _more-_ and it’s so selfish and _pathetic,_ and Oikawa has no idea what that says about him if he is going to be honest, or if he even cares what it makes him.

All he knows is that he is touch-starved and desperate for something that can never be.

Tomorrow they have more interviews to suffer through before heading back home, and then they will try and navigate their last six months at Aoba Johsai before they hopefully graduate.

It feels far away, _unreal_ even, and Oikawa still not able to fully wrap his head around that graduating is a thing that is actually going to happen. That they are actually growing up, moving away from Sendai and embarking on the next chapter of their lives.

How many more chapters until the two of them will finally graduate from the safety of one another and start going their separate ways?

How many more instances of stolen affection like this where he can pretend that they are something that they are not does Oikawa have left before he inevitably loses him all together?

How much longer until Iwaizumi finds someone that will inevitably become more important to him than Oikawa can ever hope to be?

When he opens his eyes again Iwaizumi is staring back at him silently in the reflection of the window, brows furrowed and for a split second Oikawa finds himself actually considering spilling it all. Actually contemplates letting the feelings that are constantly threatening to overflow within him to run free for just this once and see what happens.

What would Iwaizumi’s reaction be he wonders, if he were to turn around and press their bodies together? What would happen if he were to tangle his fingers in the alpha’s spiky hair and slot their lips together like he has always wanted?

Would Iwaizumi push him away or play along for the moment only to let him down gently once they parted?

Would things be awkward or would they be able to laugh it away, spend the upcoming years pretending that nothing had happened?

Would getting downright rejected be the catalyst that _finally_ allows Oikawa to move on from this one-sided crush, or is he a lost cause that will forever be spending his life just like this, yearning for something that was never his to begin with?

In the end Oikawa never finds out because when it boils down to it he is nothing but a coward, and living with this constant ache in his chest is still a better alternative than the gaping void his heart would become if Iwaizumi were to actually leave him.

“It will be fine,” Iwaizumi assures him once again when he has yet to reply to him, unknowing of the internal struggle and whirlpool of emotions that the omega is going through. 

Oikawa just closes his eyes again and slumps back against Iwaizumi’s chest, feeling like he is about to cry.

________________________________________

They are in an unfamiliar city, cooped up in one of the tens of thousand rooms up for rent spread out over the metropolis and Iwaizumi is not sure that he would be able to sleep even if he wanted to.

One bed over Iwaizumi can hear Oikawa’s soft and rhythmic breathing floating his way, telling him that the omega is asleep and Iwaizumi squeezes his eyes shut with a low grunt and pulls the covers tighter around himself, sincerely starting to doubt that he is going to get any actual sleep tonight.

They had decided that they were going to do this together, but despite Iwaizumi’s earlier claim that things were ‘ _going to be fine’_ , Iwaizumi is not sure that he is going to be able to pull through. In fact he is highly starting to doubt that any of the universities that have extended an offer to him is actually going to follow through with it.

Not that Iwaizumi can ever tell Oikawa that.

The alpha untangles himself from his sheets and pushes himself up until he is sitting on the edge of the bed, his feet firmly placed against the floor as he buries his head into the palm of his hands with a scoff.

_‘I don’t get why we can’t just get an apartment together.’_

No, of course he wouldn’t because Oikawa is a fucking idiot that can’t think further than how far his nose reaches, Iwaizumi thinks bitterly.

Fucking hell. The shithead really is going to be the death of him one day, isn’t he?

One bed over Oikawa seems to be dreaming, his brows lightly furrowed, soft lips moving around quiet, unspoken words and Iwaizumi's gaze is helplessly drawn to him even though he tries not to.

Iwaizumi has fucked up. Badly. He knows that he should never have fucking scented him in the first place. Should have known that Oikawa would latch onto it and ask for it again and again after what had happened, using Iwaizumi’s scent to keep others at bay.

And while Iwaizumi didn’t necessarily _mind it-_ quite the opposite really, it made things well, complicated to say the least.

Like the way his chest would clench up in something akin to hope every time the traces of honeysuckle started to weave itself into Oikawa’s scent as the brunette’s heat drew near. Warmth spreading through him as the omega stepped up close to tug at him with a tilt of his head and a silent question in his eyes that Iwaizumi knew that he was too weak to even bother considering denying.

The way something is constantly coiling within him as Oikawa waltz around with the smell of their mixed scents on his skin like it was something natural. 

The way questioning looks would be thrown his way as students caught a whiff off Iwaizumi on the omega and the way it made his chest swell with warmth and maybe, just maybe something possessive.

Which was ridiculous really, because Oikawa wasn’t his, not by a long shot and Iwaizumi had always prided himself with not being possessive about things by nature.

There is a flash of a teddy bear clutched in small, chubby arms floating to his mind. The memory of an omega and alpha laughing together under a tree in the heat of summer, the omega’s hair as brown as the bark of the tree behind them- the alpha’s long and as black and shiny as the wettest of ink.

A blank face that Iwaizumi will never know connected to an alphan body, causing anger to flare within. A sweater purposefully left under a table for reasons that Iwaizumi doesn’t want to think about.

Iwaizumi swears and drops his head into the palm of his hands, fully knowing that he might not be possessive by nature, but that he is definitely possessive of the sleeping form in front of him. And this damn scenting, constantly smelling himself on Oikawa’s skin sure as hell isn’t fucking helping.

He slaps his face, the harsh impact stinging his cheek as he peeks up at the other. ‘ _Not yours,_ ’ he reminds himself harshly, his instincts immediately fighting his brain at the notion.

‘ _Yours,’_ it whispers back and Iwaizumi groans and pushes the thought down, far far away where it belongs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Mellow_Chibi)
> 
> Amazing people that figured out Iwaizumi left the sweater at Oikawa’s back in like chapter 10: Kiki, emachookie and Deveroo. All of you step right up and collect your golden stars! ⭐⭐⭐


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This wasn’t like the first time when he had kind of just stolen that item from Iwaizumi’s hanger without really thinking about it. This time Oikawa knew precisely what he had been about to do and what the result would be.
> 
> And he had gone and done it anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys ready for this because god knows I ain't.

Once back in Miyagi it’s more than easy to lose themselves in the familiar rhythm of their day to day lives once again. Easy to forget what is to come and instead focus on the now. 

Graduation and University is still months away, and for now it's easy to forget the impending presence hanging over them that is their future. Easy to pretend that everything is what it has always been, what it always will be.

Easy to go back to bickering and late night studying. Even easier to stay behind long after training has finished up and it’s just the two of them and the familiar rhythm of a toss being slammed into the opposite court.

Oikawa knows that he is fooling himself into a safe sense of security, _knows_ that things will indisputably come to a change when the trees starts budding, when cherry blossom petals starts to fall.

He knows.

And yet the prospect of starting a new chapter of his life feels distant and far-fetched.

Oikawa has lived in this town, _this house_ for as long as he can remember. Has walked these streets for years and years until every inch of them, every uneven stone is now engraved into the back of his mind. He knows the old lady from the vegetable shop in the shopping street smells like cinnamon and vanilla, knows that her daughter lives in Osaka and has just recently given birth to the most adorable pair of twins.

Knows the old man who always reads the newspaper in the park every morning and leaving it all behind is terrifying, so in his mind he doesn’t. In his mind there is only the now- and perhaps the past.

Months ago after the incident when they had been studying together in Oikawa’s room Iwaizumi had told him that the scent of his heat was awful, and Oikawa might have told him that Iwaizumi’s ruts smelled a hundred times worse even if that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Oikawa would probably never admit it out loud- or even to himself for that matter, but the omega has kind of been trying to get his dirty little hands on something carrying the scent of Iwaizumi’s rut for what feels like years.

Well, maybe not _years_ but for a very, very long time and at least ever since that time back at training camp when he had caught a real whiff of it for the first time, knees growing week as he had been pushed up against the wall with the heat of Iwaizumi’s body pressed up against him.

Ever since Oikawa had started to get spoiled rotten with Iwaizumi scenting him every now and then, as if now when he could have the alpha’s normal scent it somehow just wasn’t enough anymore.

If he is going to be completely honest Iwaizumi’s rut has become a bit of an obsession of his lately, and during the last couple of months every time the furrow between Iwaizumi’s brows becomes deeper-, whenever the alpha’s scent starts to change and turn dark and a bit dusky as it trails behind him Oikawa holds his breath and silently prays that this time around he will be able to nab something, _anything_ carrying just a sliver of it.

So far he has never gotten a chance though. Because once Iwaizumi gets close enough to his rut that his scent starts taking on that _tinge_ of something that Oikawa is just itching to get his hands on Iwaizumi closes off and shuts down completely.

Oikawa would even go as far as saying as Iwaizumi even gets gruffer than what he normally is- which is saying a lot considering it’s Iwaizumi of all people, and makes a point of staying a good distance away from Oikawa and promptly refuses all of his suggestions of hanging out and _especially_ coming over.

It’s annoying to say the least.

Because Oikawa has been trying so hard to get his hands on something, just for Iwaizumi to shut him down over and over again as if the alpha somehow knew what he was planning.

Which he can’t, because if he did- if Iwaizumi actually _knew_ what Oikawa has been up to ever since they were kids the omega is certain that he would never hear the end of it.

So Oikawa is certain that Iwaizumi doesn’t know, and yet the alpha is seemingly doing his damn utmost to make Oikawa’s life as hard as possible for him. Which kind of really sucks because it’s not like Oikawa is asking for a lot here to begin with.

After all, the only thing that Oikawa really wants here is a chance to come over and just _borrow_ some stuff while Iwaizumi isn’t watching. 

That’s all.

Honestly, it’s not like he is not going to _not return_ the clothes later or anything and frankly, Oikawa thinks that Iwaizumi is being kind of stingy about it and it’s all so damn annoying because Oikawa can’t really whine about it to anyone either which only makes everything about a hundred times more unbearable than it already is.

“ _Iwa-chan is the worst, he won’t let me borrow his clothes._ ”

Yeah, no. Makki would have a field day with that one, Oikawa just knows it.

He just wants a whiff that’s all. Just a good whiff that isn’t the diluted trails he just barely manages to catch wafting his way whenever Iwaizumi’s rut is about to kick in.

Just one time and then Oikawa will be good forever, this weird curiosity of his what Iwaizumi’s rut actually smells like finally satisfied so that the omega can go back to steal normal smelling clothes like a normal human being.

Well, as normal as stealing your childhood friends clothes actually is, but Oikawa is pretty certain that he isn’t the only one out there or they wouldn’t have covered it in school in the first place.

Probably.

And so the months keep passing, summer turns to fall, fall turns to winter and throughout it all Iwaizumi’s ruts comes and goes like clockwork and yet during all this time Oikawa just can’t seem to get his hands on _anything._ It’s annoying and irking him to no end because Iwaizumi is _right there_ , carrying that dark tinge on him just outside of Oikawa’s reach- over and over again as if the alpha is somehow taunting him on purpose.

It’s so close and yet so impossible far and Oikawa _can’t_ , the need to be able to bury his nose into it only growing stronger and more and more impossible to try and keep bottled up with every passing moon until it is just a heavy heap of _want_ dwelling in the deepest reaches of his stomach.

At one point it even starts keeping him up at night and once it does not even Iwaizumi’s used clothes can help him get a good night's sleep anymore and in the end it’s most likely that that ends up driving Oikawa to do something that he has never done before.

Something that probably would never have crossed his mind if he wasn’t so desperate for things to happen, for things to change.

He knows that he shouldn’t even as much as attempt to take Iwaizumi’s clothes from anywhere else except from the laundry basket in the alpha’s room and _especially not_ in a locker room filled with their teammates after their training had come to an end.

Knows that it’s risky and stupid. Knows that there are too many eyes watching, too many things that could go wrong which is why he _hasn’t_ because Oikawa might have his flaws and issues, but being a complete idiot is not one of them.

Up until today that’s it.

Not that he has a choice. It’s not like he would need to resort to this if it wasn’t for Iwaizumi constantly giving him the cold shoulder whenever the alpha’s rut draws near so really, if anyone is an idiot it’s Iwaizumi for placing him in this situation in the first place.

At least that is what Oikawa tells himself as he undresses as slowly as he possibly can to buy himself time as his teammates start heading for the showers one after another. He hardly sleeps anymore and the small amount that he actually manages to get these days is lousy to say the least.

It feels to him like he is spending more time awake than asleep, staring up at the roof and feeling every single second tick by like a punch to his gut- something stressful clenching at his chest as he bites down on his lip and wonders how many hours he will get this night, if any, silently whining into Iwaizumi’s clothes and wondering why it isn’t working anymore. Why it isn’t enough.

And the times when the omega does fall asleep it’s fitful at best and he often if not always finds himself waking up over and over again with his hands itching for something warm and solid that isn’t even there in the first place.

Oikawa’s grades haven’t started to suffer yet, but he knows it’s just a question about when and not if. The last couple of tests had gone awful and even if he has managed to smooth things over with the teachers so far the omega knows that their leniency for him is not something that will go on forever, he knows that it isn’t.

He needs to sleep and if nabbing Iwaizumi’s clothes straight from his locker is the only way it’s going to happen so be it.

At least that’s the conclusion Oikawa had arrived at yesternight as he had laid awake in bed, cursing under his breathe and wishing that he had had the strength to to pull through the first time he tried to distance himself from his friend scent instead of giving in what is now so many years ago.

The smell of Iwaizumi has followed him through all of his years growing up, shaping him and Oikawa can’t even begin to imagine what a life without the alpha’s scent in it would be like anymore. 

None of that however makes him feel any better about what he is about to do and Oikawa absentmindedly chews on his lower lip as worry courses through his body. A part of him has a feeling that he would still end up right here anyway, even without the smell of Iwaizumi’s pheromones beckoning and calling out to him because over the last couple of weeks the opportunity to snatch up new clothes for his collection has been non-existent and the omega’s clothing trove back home is currently all but depleted.

And Iwaizumi’s rut is just around the corner, that much is clear. Oikawa can smell it- _sense it_ as if every fiber of his being is intensely crying out for it, for _him_. Not only for his scent but also for the alpha himself, the omega within him wanting to be _there_. To _be good_ and help him through it in any way he can.

To let the alpha use him like Oikawa has been using Iwaizumi’s discarded clothes all this time to make his own heats more bearable, to get on his knees for him, to-

No.

Oikawa has had… a lot of these kinds of thoughts lately. Of Iwaizumi towering above or behind him. Thoughts of the alpha settled between his legs, clothed or naked, always with his scent encasing him so thoroughly that the omega forgets how to breathe completely.

The thoughts are dangerous in nature and he doesn’t quite know what they mean.

Or rather he knows _exactly_ what they mean but Oikawa has neither the will nor the energy to face them. Iwaizumi is his friend- the most important person in Oikawa’s life and these thoughts are going to end up ruining all of it unless Oikawa manages to get in control of them before it is too late.

Because Oikawa knows what the future is going to be like, has known for a long time and he is _fine_ with that. Fine with Iwaizumi getting himself a petite little omega whose scent will mix with the alpha’s own as if they were made for one another.

Maybe something sunny and fresh that merges with the scent of pine and the forest _just so_ , and then the two of them will get married, tie the knot and end up having the cutest little pups together and Oikawa will come over on the weekends to play with them and get some clothes while he is at it and no one will be the wiser.

He is fine with that, really. And because _he is_ Oikawa doesn’t have a choice, not anymore. He needs to fix this, needs to get back on track- back in control before something becomes too much and overflows completely, ruining it all.

At least that’s what Oikawa tells himself as he sneaks the damp fabric of the alpha’s training shirt from Iwaizumi’s bag into his own once the last of his teammates has turned his back to him before scurrying into the shower in a pathetic attempt to try and craft some kind of alibi. 

He is still going to have to figure out how to return the damn thing later, but for now the omega goes through his showering routine with his heart hammering away in his chest, his mind unhelpfully supplying him with scenario after scenario where Iwaizumi’s shirt somehow gets found inside his bag in front of everyone and he forces them down and away with a clench of his jaw followed by a deep scowl as he lathers up and starts rubbing the soap over his skin.

No one saw him, he made sure of that. 

_No one knows_ and no one is going to go looking specifically for it in his bag even if Iwaizumi notices that it’s missing, which he probably even wont- not until he is home and unpacking at least.

Oikawa knows this and yet he can’t seem to shake of the anxiety coursing through him, heavy and all-consuming, much like the first time that he had stolen an item and carried it through Iwaizumi’s house and the omega needs to take a moment to tell himself over and over again that just like Iwaizumi and his family didn’t find the piece of fabric inside his back then, no one of his teammates will find it now, the lukewarm stream of water washing the suds of his body.

And even then, even knowing Oikawa can’t help the twitch that his body makes when Iwaizumi’s pissed off voice reaches him all the way into the showers while he dries himself off, his heart threatening to jump out of his chest because there is no turning back now. No changing his mind at the last minute and returning the t-shirt before the damage has been done and Iwaizumi has had a chance to notice its absence, no way for Oikawa to pretend that he had randomly found it somewhere.

“Where the fuck is my shirt?”

_Shit._

There is such a bitter undertone to Iwaizumi’s voice and Oikawa has to tell himself that it’s just his imagination, that Iwaizumi’s anger isn’t actually aimed towards _him_ (even though it should be).

‘ _He doesn’t know_ ,’ Oikawa chants silently to himself over and over again as he finishes drying himself off and wraps his towel around his waist. ‘ _He doesn’t_ _know,’_ he repeats, taking a deep breath and straightening his back before sauntering back to the changing room like he has no worries in the whole wide word-, pretending like the ruckus that he is hearing is nothing out of the ordinary. Just his teammates usual bickering and shenanigans. _No one knows._

Oikawa makes his way over to his locker and starts to pick up his stuff and getting dressed, one item after another as he tries to ignores the way his heart is attempting to jump out of his ribcage as Iwaizumi rummages around in the locker next to him, curse after curse falling of the alpha’s lips.

“Fucking _hell_ ,” Iwaizumi lets out next to him, slamming the locker shut with such force that Oikawa doesn’t have to worry about the way that his body jolts at the sound is a normal reaction or not. There is no way that anyone would be able to stand next to that and remain unaffected.

“Language, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa hums out as he finishes pulling his pants back on. The omega’s voice might admittedly come out a bit breathless but thankfully Iwaizumi seems to be too worked up to even notice.

“Shut up,” Iwaizumi bites back before jerking the door to his locker open once more so that he can have another look inside in case he somehow missed it first couple of times, and while a part of Oikawa can relate to that he also knows that it’s pointless because Iwaizumi’s shirt isn’t inside the alpha’s bag nor his locker, not anymore at least.

Not that he can tell Iwaizumi that. So instead Oikawa pretends to let out a displeased huff before grabbing his own shirt and as he slinks his arms through its sleeves he makes sure to make a show of focusing on buttoning it up as if Iwaizumi’s outburst didn’t bother him in the slightest. 

“What did you lose this time Iwa-chan?” Oikawa asks him, attempting to sound nonchalant as he finishes the last of the buttons while silent praying that none of his teammates catches on on the way his fingers trembles as he strokes his hand across the fabric, smoothing out its wrinkles and correcting it over his chest. “Your phone? Want me to call it for you?”

“No,” the alpha bites out before slamming his locker shut and Oikawa heaves a sigh and shakes his head before he closes his own locker and leans his side against it, keeping his arms crossed over his chest as he gives his friend what he hopes is a disgruntled stare.

His throat feels strangely dry and his skin is itching all over the place but he forces it away because he _knew_ this would happen, knew that Iwaizumi would curse and swear and slam and he knew that it would make his anxiety skyrocket. This wasn’t like the first time when he had kind of just stolen that item from Iwaizumi’s hanger without really thinking about it. This time Oikawa knew precisely what he had been about to do and what the result would be.

And he had gone and done it anyway.

A part of Oikawa does feel bad about it because Iwaizumi’s frustration is falling of off him in waves and it’s kind of his fault, but more than that there is another feeling crackling just underneath his skin because Oikawa has wanted for so long and he is _so close_ , the item in question already tucked away in the safety of his bag and the only thing he really needs to do is to play obvious just a little while longer, be the good friend and pretend to _help-_ and then he can go home and this will finally be all be over. His curiosity over Iwaizumi’s scent sated, his inability to sleep _gone_ and everything will go back to normal once more.

So close.

Just a little bit more.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa chastises the other and Iwaizumi clicks his tongue in annoyance before averting his gaze from him and Oikawa allows himself to draw a small sigh of relief. Iwaizumi might be royally pissed off with the situation but he the alpha isn’t giving him any indications that he is suspecting Oikawa for the shirts disappearance so it should all be good, really.

Probably.

“You are scaring the first years,” Oikawa continues, silently forcing his brain to act normal for just a little while longer because he can do this.Oikawa has had years of practice with conversation with Iwaizumi behind him. A lifetime of bickering and he is so, so close. “...so wipe that scoff of your face and let me help you find what you are looking for already.”

Iwaizumi’s scoff only depends at his comment but Oikawa also catches the way that the alpha takes a deep breath as if to calm himself, seemingly listening to what Oikawa is telling him and it makes the omega’s chest clench something awful because when it boils down to it his offer to help is nothing but a lie, isn’t it?

“My shirt,” the alpha finally admits and what Oikawa says next is such a low blow from his side considering that _he knows_ not only _which_ shirt Iwaizumi is referring to, but also where it is. And yet he tilts his head to the side and gives Iwaizumi the best little confused look he can manage.

“Iwa-chan, you are wearing it,” he says innocently, blinking as Matsukawa lets out an amused snort behind them, quickly followed by a burst of laughter from Hanamaki.

“Not this one idiot. The training one.”

Oikawa lets out his best little ‘ _ah_ ’ at Iwaizumi’s words. The scoff is still present on the alpha’s face, but it has softened somewhat now when the alpha has something else to focus on instead of just mindlessly rummaging around his stuff to no avail.

“How did you manage that?” Oikawa presses even though he knows the answer to that all too well, but thankfully Iwaizumi seems to be buying his little charade. For now at least.

“Fuck if I know. It was here when I went to the showers,” Iwaizumi grunts and Oikawa hums thoughtfully as if he is considering it all before turning his attention to the rest of the people currently in the clubroom.

“Hey, has anyone seen Iwa-chan’s training shirt laying around?”

“It turquoise,” Matsukawa adds in unhelpfully as if everyone didn’t already know that and it manages to draw out another bout of laughter from Hanamaki and Oikawa doesn’t think that he has ever been so thankful for his team as he is in that moment as their bickering and laughter is doing wonders easing up the previously tense atmosphere.

And giving Iwaizumi something else to be frustrated with which is, you know, very helpful.

“It’s also _very big_ and-,” Hanamaki chirps only to get cut off midway as Iwaizumi flings one of his practice shoes in the man’s direction. Hanamaki dodges it with ease before turning his attention back to Iwaizumi, the grin never leaving his lips.

“Wow, that was weak even for you,” he taunts, making Matsukawa let out another snort next to him and bringing a smile to the corner of Oikawa’s lips. “First you forget things all over the place and now this. Are you perhaps growing old Iwaiz-“

This time Iwaizumi’s shoe hits Hanamaki straight in the face and Oikawa laughs through his nose as he tries to keep it contained but the laughter escapes him anyway, and it doesn’t help when Matsukawa decides to open his mouth once more and continue their teasing.

“You know, if you took care of your stuff instead of throwing them around to the left and right maybe you wouldn’t have lost it in the first place,” Matsukawa hums, even managing to draw out a huff from Kyoutani with his comment which in turn only make Oikawa laugh harder as Iwaizumi shoots them all an annoyed glance but thankfully the alpha seems to be out of shoes for ammunition.

“If you are just going to be fucking dickheads about it just leave before I decide to kick your asses.” Iwaizumi’s scowl is quickly followed by a loud and dramatic and one hundred percent feigned gasp from Hanamaki as the pink-haired man drapes himself across Matsukawa’s back.

“He is going to kick _my ass_ Issei,” Hanamaki whines and the taller of the two of them gently reaches up and pats him sympathetically on the arm hanging down Matsukawa’s chest. “Tell my mom I love her and that I regret never eating enough vegetables, she was right, I died too young.”

“Out, _”_ Iwaizumi hisses out behind clenched teeth.

 _“_ But I thought that you were going to ki-”

“Out _,”_ Iwaizumi repeats once more, the alpha’s brows knitted tightly together as he glares at their teammates, eyes dark and narrowed. Hanamaki huffs before slipping off of Matsukawa’s back before bending down and picking up his bag and the shoe that Iwaizumi had previously hurled at his face.

“Do you at least want me to give you your shoes back or-”

“ _Out._ ”

“Stingy,” Hanamaki says with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders and Oikawa watches with a small wince as his teammate makes a big show of letting the sneaker slip out of his hand and fall heavily to the floor before sauntering away and motioning to Matsukawa to follow him. “Well then, let’s go. Too much grumpiness in here anyway. I hope it isn’t contagious. God forbid I turn out like _that_.”

“Hanamaki I _swear_ ,” Iwaizumi growls out after them, but the pair is already gone, the door is closing behind them before Iwaizumi has the chance to finish his sentence so instead the alpha cuts himself short with another irritated noise before turning his attention back to the locker once more, cursing under his breath.

“Where the fuck did it go,” Iwaizumi breathes out and there is something tired layered into his voice that makes Oikawa feel even worse about the entire situation. He really, really does but he _doesn’t have a choice_ and it’s just _this once_ and just for a little while- and then everything will be fine.

“Come on Iwa-chan, I’ll help you look around okay?” Oikawa says and the small but thankful way Iwaizumi’s eyes softens is almost too much, cutting into him harshly but it’s not like it’s anything valuable that he has taken so _it’s fine_. 

It’s just temporarily and it’s _fine_ Oikawa tells himself over and over again as he looks through Iwaizumi’s locker and then the rest of the changing room, leaving no stone untouched except the one place where the garment in question is actually hidden away with an increasingly sinking feeling in his stomach.

It takes a long time after the rest of the team has left before Iwaizumi finally gives up. By that time the alpha is tense, his jaw clenching, throwing Oikawa glances whenever he thinks that he isn’t watching.

But Oikawa is, and even if he _wasn’t_ there is no way that he wouldn’t be able to feel Iwaizumi’s eyes on him anyway, pinning him in place and almost scorching him where they trail across his body. Something hungry. Something dark.

Something that goes well together with the scent slowly filling the place that has been doing nothing but growing stronger ever since Iwaizumi showered and washed it all away.

It’s stronger than what it was earlier though, _sharper_ , and it’s making Oikawa’s head slightly fuzzy, body slightly tingling. Makes him want to please and help Iwaizumi to find what he is looking for _so bad_ even though he knows that _he can’t_.

Maybe he doesn’t need the stupid shirt anyway, not when Iwaizumi is smelling like this, just a stone-throw away from him. Maybe-

“We should head back,” Iwaizumi presses out a moment later and when Oikawa turns to face him the alpha averts his gaze, something concerned and painful on his face that Oikawa instinctively knows has nothing to do with the lost shirt and everything to do with Iwaizumi’s impending rut and Oikawa realizes that he would give just anything to know what Iwaizumi is thinking in that very moment.

The omega knows the pain of heat all too well and he can’t help but wonder if Iwaizumi’s rut is anything like that at all. If the want and need and _the itch_ burning just underneath his skin is the same and god, it suddenly hits him that Oikawa has never been this close to Iwaizumi this close to the alpha’s rut before.

Not alone at least. Not when they are the last ones in the locker room where no one will come before morning. Not when Iwaizumi is _right there_ and before Oikawa has realized what he is doing he has raised a trembling hand towards the other and he blinks at it in confusion before letting it fall uselessly to his side.

He can’t.

The entire point of this whole endeavor is that he _can’t-_ and that he has to settle for burying his face into garments carrying the scent of his friend once he gets home and be satisfied with that. 

And Oikawa _is_ satisfied with that, he really, really is but he just can’t help it. Can’t help the want and _what ifs_ when Iwaizumi is looking at him like that- even though Oikawa knows it has nothing to do with _him_ and everything to do with the hormones currently running wild in the alpha’s body.

“You sure?” Oikawa finally manages to get out, his nails digging into the palm of his hand to chase the tremble from his voice. “I still have time if-”

“Yeah, let’s go. It’s getting late,” Iwaizumi cuts him off and there is an edge to Iwaizumi’s voice as well. Something rough and raw that makes Oikawa want to poke around until he reaches its core. Wants to make it _snap_ and see what happens, consequences be damned. 

But he doesn’t. Instead he nods and hums before he grabs his bag from his locker and gets ready to leave and he does his best to pretend that everything is okay.

His bag feels so heavy.

Which is ridiculous because except the one, single garment now hidden within it’s literally just his normal day to day school bag. And while it admittedly does weight a bit with all the textbooks that he is forced to put inside it on a daily basis it still shouldn’t be weighing this much, especially considering that Oikawa had already eaten his bento so if anything it should be lighter, even with the added weight of the alpha’s clothes. 

And yet the bag's presence is solid and so horribly dense from where it’s flung over his shoulder and it is currently hitting him across his back with every step the omega takes as if it’s personally trying to punish him for his sins.

 _Slap, slap_.

Oikawa swears that he can smell it as they walk side by side. That he can _feel it_ moving around as if alive, trying to push up against the bag’s zipper and open it so that it can crawl out and make his crimes known to the world.

“Did you…” Iwaizumi’s voice suddenly cuts through the silence hanging between them and Oikawa almost jumps as it startles him, slender fingers clutching desperately at the strap of his bag to try and keep himself calm as he turns his head towards the alpha.

Iwaizumi is looking back at him with a thoughtful and slightly confused expression, his brows furrowed ever so lightly and there is a question in is eyes that makes Oikawa’s breath stutter because there is no way Iwaizumi knows, he _can’t know_ and yet there is fear clawing at the inside of Oikawa’s stomach because what if he _does_.

“…Did I what?” he finds himself asking breathlessly, the edges of the strap cutting into the palm of his hands as they come to a slow halt on the side of the street, the silence between them doing nothing but growing until Oikawa forgets how to breath altogether.

There is a flicker of Iwaizumi’s gaze downwards and Oikawa finds himself unconsciously shuffling backwards in response, his body unconsciously moving to the side, arms working to hide as much of the bag from the alpha’s peripheral vision as possible as if that would somehow keep its content hidden and it’s first when Iwaizumi’s gaze turns back to him, something clear in his eyes and his eyebrows furrowed further that Oikawa fully realizes the mistake he has done.

Shit.

_Shitshitshit._

Because even if Iwaizumi didn’t know before there is just no way that the alpha wouldn’t realize that something is up with the way Oikawa had just acted. Iwaizumi might be as dense as a rock at certain times, but he is not downright _stupid_ and _shit,_ Oikawa is so, so fucked.

They don’t say anything for the longest time, instead they just stare at one another and for some reason that is even worse than if Iwaizumi would just come straight out and say it, to yell the accusation straight to his face because at least then Oikawa could yell back, ask him how he _dares_ to accuse him of whatever it is he accusing him of when he just spent his free time helping the alpha search before stomping away angrily with his head held high.

But Oikawa can’t do that like this, not when Iwaizumi isn’t actually accusing him of something. Can’t start yelling and acting up when Iwaizumi _isn’t-_ or it would just be even more painfully obvious that he is hiding something than it already is.

So instead Oikawa just stares back at him, clutching at his strap and with his teeth digging into the soft insides of his cheeks. It feels like he is almost vibrating with how high-strung he is, with the anxiety course through his veins. The way fear and panic claws and clenches all throughout him until Oikawa feels like he is about to explode with it all and he wishes that he had never taken the stupid thing, wishes that he had never gone and gotten addicted to Iwaizumi’s scent in the first place.

Wishes that he had never allowed it to happen over and over again over the years instead of putting a stop to it and making it go away.

But Oikawa is weak.

Weak and awful and _gross_ and it has all been boiling down to this moment from the beginning, hasn’t it? And there is a part of him that is relieved too because he has been keeping this locked up for so long and maybe Iwaizumi being downright disgusted with him is what he needs to get himself together, to get the help he knows is out there for people in his situation.

Maybe this is a solution and not the end but Oikawa wants to cry and scream at the same time because it _can’t be_ , it has been so long and he doesn’t know what his life would be like without Iwaizumi in it and he _doesn’t_ want to find out.

Wants to stay like this forever, playing volleyball and moving into adjacent houses once they are old enough and never leaving each other’s sides and it’s silly and so stupid but Oikawa _wants_ and he can see Iwaizumi opening his mouth, words starting to form over thin lips and it’s like the ground is opening bellow him, like he is hovering over nothing, body itching and trembling with tears threatening to burst forward and he bites down on his lips stubbornly because he can’t.

Oikawa is not going to lose Iwaizumi, his scent and the last of his pride- well, whatever is left of it anyway.

He just _isn’t_ even though he knows that his eyes are probably starting to become glassy, knows that Iwaizumi caught sight of an especially large tremble of his lips that he didn’t manage to fight down in time. There is a pause as Iwaizumi’s lips stops moving and then the alpha is looking at him with _concern_ of all things and for some reason that’s the final straw because Oikawa can take many things but not some halfassed sympathy from the man he has been stealing clothes from for almost two decades.

Not now, not like this and the omega squares his jaw stubbornly and forces down the nausea and bile back down his throat where it belongs.

“ _What,_ ” he bites out but Iwaizumi just stares, his green eyes trailing over Oikawa’s face and Oikawa realizes that he _hates that,_ that he would very much prefer it if Iwaizumi was his normal gruffy and stupid self and yelled at him to no end because Oikawa can deal with that just fine, but he can’t deal with what Iwaizumi is doing right now, whatever the hell it is.

For a moment Iwaizumi doesn’t reply. Instead the alpha just stares at him as Oikawa’s impatience continues to grow in a way that the omega is used to feeling before a game. Adrenaline slowly but surely taking over every cell of his being until the entirety of his body is just about screaming for an outlet for the energy it’s keeping bottled in and he swears if Iwaizumi doesn’t open his damn mouth this fucking moment he is-

“Nevermind.”

Oikawa blinks.

_Huh?_

And he blinks again as Iwaizumi huffs and turns his back on him and starts walking down the street once more without as much as giving him another glance, breaking of their stalemate and _what the actual fuck._

“Nevermind _what_ Iwa-chan?” Oikawa finds himself shouting after his friend because evidently Oikawa hasn’t done enough mistakes to last him a lifetime today but fuck it because he was all riled up, all worried to bits and now _nothing?_ What the hell is up with that.

Iwaizumi just grunts at him from where he is walking away and Oikawa bites down on his lower lip before making up his mind and hurrying after him. The shock and confusion slowly making way for relief because this is what he wanted right? For Iwaizumi to _not know_ and for things to keep being the way they had been. 

And yet there is something sour gnawing at the pit of his stomach, a small seed of uncertainty being planted inside of him because maybe, just maybe he hasn’t been as sneaky about this entire endeavor as he has believed himself to be and the implications of that are just too much to think about so he doesn’t. Instead he forces it all away, desperately trying to ignore the wall of silence that he can feel is slowly being erected between them- growing heavier and larger with every step they take even though they are still walking side by side, mere inches apart from one another.

And this time when Oikawa tells himself that Iwaizumi doesn’t know, that everything is going to be _fine_ he is not so sure anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Mellow_Chibi)
> 
> A big, fat thank you to everyone who has been commenting on this story so far, I really appreciate all of them.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He doesn’t know Oikawa tells himself bitterly. He can’t know, not to a hundred percent at least. Hanamaki is just drawing conclusions, he knows that he is. Playing his little mind games and most likely the only reason that the shithead that Oikawa once was stupid enough to call his friend is here in the first place is because he wants more firewood to add to his pyre.
> 
> Seriously, fuck him to hell.

The t-shirt is his favorite item yet.

Oikawa almost doesn’t make it into the privacy of his room before his hands are already fervently working on getting the zipper of his bag undone. The door hasn’t even fully closed behind him before he is already all put yanking out the shirt from the depths of his bag and he is quick to burying his face into the soft fabric, inhaling deeply.

The scent of the forest is overwhelming, murky and dizzying and his bag falls to his floor forgotten as he falls to his bed, the anxiety and qualms that has been gnawing at him since that afternoon’s training melting away to nothing as he allows himself draw the alpha’s scent into his starving lungs over and over again, absentmindedly thinking that whatever this will have cost him in the future it will have been worth it.

It’s still the same scent that Oikawa has gotten so used to over the years. It’s just more- _fuller_ somehow and as Oikawa curls up on his bed, his eyelids fluttering close there is a faint voice in the back of his mind, telling him that he should probably be grossed out over the sweaty state of the shirt in question but honestly, as the scent fills his nostrils the omega really can’t bring himself to care.

Not when payout is that he can finally and _freely_ appreciate the width and depths of the way the beginning of Iwaizumi’s rut has transformed the alpha’s scent instead of having to be satisfied with just catching small whiffs of its traces once a blue moon.

It’s strong and so _Iwaizumi_ that Oikawa finds himself wondering how he didn’t know that this was how it was going to smell in the first place, long before he even had his nose buried in it.

It’s the lushness of pine and the asphalt after a brief summer rain. The morning dew hidden away in the furthest depth of the forest. The cold sharpness of spring water among the humidity of summer, the warmth of a rock in the sun. The steadiness of a tree that has grown for hundreds of years and will keep growing for hundreds years to come.

It mingles and intertwines. Cold and warm, deep and high and Oikawa instictly knows that it should be conflicting, that the different elements _should be_ clashing with one another but it _doesn’t_. Instead it’s Iwaizumi in its purest- the brash and stoic outside. The soothing, caring warmth hidden underneath firm layers once you get to know him, when you become one of the people that he cares about, the people that are important to him.

Oikawa hopes that Iwaizumi still thinks of him in that way, as someone close to him even after everything that went down today, after the silence hanging heavily between them before they split ways and Oikawa pauses momentarily, one eye creaking open and dragging across his surroundings until it falls upon his abandoned bag, dropped uncaringly on the floor and with parts of it’s contents having slipped out during its impact with the hardwood flooring of his room.

Iwaizumi doesn’t know he tells himself, pressing the soft fabric to his face. _Can’t_ know.

Oikawa slowly pushes himself off the bed and undresses, his body working through the familiar motions as he shrugs his jacket off his shoulders and throws it over his chair before he wrings his shirt over his head and adds it to the pile before kicking of his pants and socks as well for good measure.

He spends a few, quiet seconds looking at the doors to his wardrobe even though he already knows that he won’t end up changing into the soft, comfortable clothes that he normally wears at home and with a sigh Oikawa turns his back to the wooden doors.

Iwaizumi’s shirt is laying on top of his bed just where he had left it and he slowly raises it up before pulling it over his face, his eyes fluttering close as he smooths out the fabric over his body and he can feel the way Iwaizumi’s scent fully engulfs him from head to toe and for a minute Oikawa almost fools himself into thinking that the scent is coming from _him_ and and not the piece of fabric now clinging to his slender frame.

That the alpha scented him outside of Oikawa’s preheat, at the beginning of the alpha’s rut in a moment of weakness, possessive and protective and Oikawa can’t stop the soft whimper that makes his way up his throat even if he wanted to.

That Iwaizumi is making sure that everyone knows just who Oikawa belongs to, under who’s protection he is. Safe and untouchable by anyone else that might have any interest in him in the same way that the still unknown alpha had had what now feels such a long time ago that day in the coffee shop. 

Iwaizumi’s scent is sharp and yet shielding as it wraps around him and because the omega has already promised himself that he is only going to allow himself to steal something like this _once-_ and then never again he lets himself get lost in the fantasy that his brain is currently creating for him this _one time_ , allows it to sweep him away.

That he is currently carrying Iwaizumi’s scent because Oikawa is somehow special and not because of his sticky fingers having stolen one item after another, year after year until the motion was as familiar as brushing his teeth in the morning. To have it be given freely instead of _taken,_ like it had been Iwaizumi’s way of making sure Oikawa would be safe from other alphas during Iwaizumi’s absence. A parting gift to have something to remember him by as the week moved along without him.

To be _wanted_ and with the silent promise of maybe even something _more_ for the two of them in the future and Oikawa returns to his bed and curls up among the bedding, his eyes fluttering close as he lets the fantasy wash over him and take him away.

There is a familiar heat building in the pits of Oikawa’s stomach, something wet making its presence known between his thighs and Oikawa doesn’t even realize when his own hand starts to travel down the expense of his skin or the way his palm smooths over the soft fabric as it goes.

Like this, with the fabric between his skin and with Iwaizumi’s scent in his nose it’s easy to pretend that the hand isn’t his own, easy to forget that said hand is moving down towards and the omega’s breathing is nothing but small pants and gasps as his hand slips between his legs, slender fingers working past the hem of his boxers and into his underwear, his body involuntary twitching from the contact, his skin positively burning with want and need.

It’s the first time that Oikawa has ever gotten himself off to Iwaizumi’s scent, not counting his heats.

Heats are different he has always told himself. During those times Oikawa is not the one in charge of his mind, let alone his own body. Not that anyone is but during heats his mind is nothing but a hazed over and jumbled mess, filled but nothing but carnal needs and it’s not easier getting through it with the stolen clothes because it’s Iwaizumi’s scent per see, but because it’s the scent of something alphan and familiar.

The scent of anyone from his family or even friends for that matter would most likely be just as helpful in his time of need, in creating his nest and making him feel safe. Iwaizumi’s clothes, _his scent_ just happens to be conveniently checking off both the boxes since he happens to also be an alpha, making it the far better alternative. It’s nothing personal, it’s not because it’s Iwaizumi and there is absolutely nothing _wrong_ with it. Heats are already as awful as they come and Oikawa will take any help he can get in getting through them, no matter how unorthodox his ways might be.

At least that’s what he has always told himself during all the times when his body was burning and quivering with need, his nose shoved deeply into whatever item of Iwaizumi’s clothing he had managed to steal that time around.

This is different.

This is not because hormones are running rampant inside his body and his heat demands the release or it will burn him alive from within.

This is Oikawa letting his fingers slide across his heated skin and between his dripping folds, allowing them to sink into himself as Iwaizumi’s scent engulfs him from head to toe.

This is Oikawa sobbing empty vowels that might have or might not have been a name with his head buried in his pillow and eyes squeezed shut, pretending that fingers currently mapping out his insides belonged to someone else.

Or _was_ something else entirely as he tucks his nose under the hem of Iwaizumi’s shirt until he can smell nothing else, feel nothing else but the alpha all around him. Above and inside of him. Making his body burn in a way that he has never experienced before even with what is now years of heats behind him as he works his fingers through the plush and wanting walls of his inside, writhing and whimpering pathetically on his bed and rutting against the covers in a desperate attempt for some kind of friction, completely forgetting that he has another hand tangled somewhere in his sheets in his frenzy and need of release.

He doesn’t know where he begins or ends anymore, the only thing mattering is the fever coursing through his veins and Iwaizumi’s smell keeping him safe and anchored when everything else is weird and hazy with need.

Oikawa is climbing at an alarming rate but that is okay, _it’s fine_ because Iwaizumi is here and Oikawa is safe and he can let go, can allow himself to get taken away wherever this is going to take him because Iwaizumi will be there to pick up the shattered pieces he knows that he will become once he falls and bring him back home.

There is a rush of white, a noise that doesn’t even sound human escaping his lips and then Oikawa is gone, his breath stuttering and and then there is only a black nothingness as his body grows tense, forgetting how to breathe.

Oikawa feels positively disgusting with himself afterwards and he buries the item in the furthest reaches of his wardrobe before taking a long shower, scrubbing his body clean of both his slick and Iwaizumi’s smell.

It feels like he has crossed a line that he should never have crossed in the first place and he swears on everything that is holy that at the very least _this_ is something that he will never do ever again.

He has known for quite some time now, but things are not getting better with his obsession with Iwaizumi’s scent- in fact they are only getting worse. Oikawa knows that it has, he has just refused to admit it because once he actually does he instinctively knows that everything is going to change, one way or another and he isn’t _ready_.

Hell, Oikawa doesn’t think that he ever will be, letting go of this, of Iwaizumi, but as he stares down at his hand with a disgusted expression, as if he is somehow still able to see his shame splattered across his fingers even after having scrubbed the entirety of his skin raw it feels like he has hit the end of the road, that this is the tipping point, the wakeup call that he has been unknowingly waiting on for years at this point.

This thing has gone on long enough already, he knows that it has. And Oikawa might have been able to tell himself that there had been nothing wrong or weird with what he has been doing up until this point but right now, as he stares down at the pink, scrubbed raw skin of his palm he can no longer fool himself into believing that this entire thing is as innocent as he has told himself it is, not anymore at least.

This has to end, he knows that it has to and Oikawa decides right then that he is going to sneak Iwaizumi’s shirt back into the alpha’s locker the first thing in the morning- and then he is never stealing another item of Iwaizumi’s clothing ever again.

________________________

And as morning comes around Oikawa does bring the damp and disgusting thing with him the next day to school. 

And Oikawa _is_ fully intending to give it back even though the omega has slept like shit after having shoved all of the alpha’s clothes he is still in possession of into his closet and slammed the door shut.

He will return those later when he has the chance. Clean slate and starting over and all that but before he can deal with any of that he needs to get rid of the damn thing that made him cross the line in the first place.

It called out to him, constantly and endlessly throughout the night. The tendrils of Iwaizumi’s scent somehow escaping through the layers of the multiple plastic bags he has shoved it into and sealed as tightly as he can.

And even after having spent the entire night with his windows open in order to dilute the air and almost freezing to death due to the chilly temperature that kept him all but wrapped up under his covers Oikawa could still smell it, could still _feel it_ calling out to him, traitorously and dangerous and Oikawa _can’t_ because he knows that if he does, if he does give in now there will be no way out anymore.

This has to end, and it has to end now before it gets even worse, before he imprints completely. Before the scent of Iwaizumi alone will be enough to make his legs give out under him and heat coil hot and heavy within.

Oikawa fully does intent to return it, he really, really does- but it’s hard to do that when Iwaizumi is absent from both the morning practice and then the rest of the day.

Oikawa should have known better. After all this entire thing had happened because Oikawa could smell Iwaizumi’s rut on him in the first place, heady and dark and so very tempting and that day after school the omega finds himself walking home alone and with his tails between his legs- the alpha’s belonging still tucked into the furthest reaches of his bag, it’s presence both heavy and palpable, the strap of his bag cutting painfully into the flesh his shoulder and that night, even though Oikawa had promised himself that he wouldn’t over and over again throughout the day he still somehow finds himself with his body wrapped up in the soft fabric as he helplessly opens himself up on his fingers, wishing they were someone else.

__________________________

“Well, don’t you just look _peachy_ ,” Hanamaki close to purrs out as he slides into the seat in front of Oikawa in the cafeteria, wearing such a smug little grin on his face that a part of Oikawa is itching to just punch his teammate in the face as uncharacteristic that might be.

It’s the third day that Iwaizumi has been absent and while that is nothing weird considering the circumstances, Oikawa is at his wits end. 

Every evening after practice Oikawa goes home, promising himself that he won’t do it anymore. That Iwaizumi’s shirt will stay stowed away in his wardrobe where it belongs. That he won’t take it out. That he won’t-

Sometimes the promise lasts all the way to evening but most of the time it doesn’t and Oikawa is so weak and pathetic for not being able to hold back.

Sometimes when his walls are quivering, clenching desperately and trying to milk his own fingers for something that isn’t even there in the first place Oikawa ends up doing it twice.

Sometimes he has his fingers buried deep inside himself and sometimes Oikawa just jerks himself to completion. But it’s always with Iwaizumi’s name on his lips and the alpha’s smell against his nose and Oikawa is so, so messed up for indulging in this. So fucking disgusting to keep doing it over and over again even though he knows that he really shouldn’t.

Oikawa doesn’t deserve Iwaizumi. Doesn’t deserve anyone and he hates his weak and needy self with a burning passion because how fucking hard can it be to just keep the stupid shirt away from his body and his own hands out of his pants?

And yet there is where they end up over and over again, every night without fail no matter how many times that he tells himself that he won’t.

“Shut up Makki,” Oikawa says flatly which admittedly does nothing in deterring his friend, not that Oikawa expected it to. Instead Hanamaki just lets out a small and amused little whistle before slouching down across the table and proceeding to stare up at him with sharp eyes and a lazy, loop-side smile.

“Stingy today, aren’t we?” his friend drawls out, the grin never leaving his damn face. “Are our little princess having a hard time now when Hajime isn’t around to spoil you rotten hm?”

“Iwa-chan does _not spoil me rotten_ ,” Oikawa snaps back even though he knows that he is. They _all_ know that Iwaizumi is soft on him and lets him get away with crap the alpha wouldn’t allow anyone else to pull on him but Oikawa doesn’t want to hear it- especially not today. Not now.

“Whatever you say princess,” Hanamaki snorts from where he is sprawled out on the table before looking up at him with a knowing gleam in his eyes that Oikawa just _hates._

“Did Iwaizumi ever get that shirt back though?”

Oikawa feels his eye twitching but in the end he shakes his head, only realizing his mistake first when Hanamaki’s eyes go half lidded and his grin turns crooked.

“No, as far as I know he didn’t _find it_ ,” Oikawa corrects himself even though he already knows that it’s too late. Fucking Hanamaki for always putting one and one together and being unable to keep his nose out of other people’s business.

Damn him and his stupid brain and knowing smirk to hell.

“Shame,” Hanamaki purrs, the words spoken completely contradicting the tone that he is using and the way that his eyes are gleaming in amusement. “It was such a _nice shirt_ too, wasn’t it? I wonder if whoever found it is putting it to good use, or if they are just letting it collect dust somewhere.”

“Who knows,” Oikawa replies dryly, trying to make himself sound as uninterested and flat as he can, but the way that Hanamaki laughs at his response tells him that his friend isn’t buying it, not by a long shot.

He _doesn’t_ _know_ Oikawa tells himself bitterly. He can’t know, not to a hundred percent at least. Hanamaki is just drawing conclusions, he knows that he is. Playing his little mind games and most likely the only reason that the shithead that Oikawa once was stupid enough to call his friend is here in the first place is because he wants more firewood to add to his pyre.

Seriously, fuck him to hell.

“What do you want Makki?” Oikawa bites out even though they both know the answer.

“Hm?” the strawberry colored man asks, the upward curl of his lips nerve fading and if Oikawa didn’t want to hit him before he sure as hell wants to now. “Can’t two friends just hang out and have lunch together?”

“You are not eating,” Oikawa points out flatly.

“Well, I happen to be on this new diet that-”

“Bullshit.”

More laughter. More amused little glances and Oikawa is so very close to exploding altogether but just then there is a different emotion flickering across the wing spiker’s face, something that Oikawa if he didn’t know any better would perhaps even call caring. Soft.

“Hey, Oikawa?”

“What?” he snaps and there is a moment when nothing is said between them and then Hanamaki heaves a sigh and pushes off the table until he is standing once more, his gaze traveling across the cafeteria.

“Nevermind. See you at training yeah?”

Oikawa scrunches his nose. “Yeah.”

Hanamaki gives a small nod before sauntering off again and Oikawa watches his retreating back with a myriad of conflicting feelings swirling around inside of him.

He wants to know what Hanamaki was about to say before his friend changed his mind and let him off the hook, but at the same time he also really don’t.

__________________________

The days pass on without Iwaizumi in them and strangely enough for once Oikawa hardly notices them come and go. Instead he busies himself with training and homework. He makes sure to get up as early as his body will allow him and he always comes back home as late as he possibly can, trying to prolong the inevitable and the shame that always comes with it.

He considers throwing out Iwaizumi’s shirt, to burn it to ashes and scatter them to the wind instead of holding on to the cursed thing and telling himself that he will return it once Iwaizumi comes back, but in the end he can never bring himself to do it.

It just smells too good for him to just _get rid_ _off-_ and frankly, with everything that Oikawa has put Iwaizumi through throughout the years to actually put his clothes on fire seems like taking everything a few hundred steps or so too far.

Not that it really matters. Oikawa is already so far past the point of what is considered acceptable human behavior that it isn’t even funny anymore.

By the time Iwaizumi finally comes back to school Oikawa has stopped bringing the shirt with him in his bag altogether. There is just no point to it anymore, it smells too much of himself by this point for him to just put it back in his friends locker and pretend that it’s raining anyway.

He would be found out immediately.

And yet he can’t bring himself to just wash and get it over with either, to get rid of the last lingering trails of Iwaizumi’s scent and his own and just return it. He is too far gone and it smells too good and Oikawa finds himself spending many nights hovering indecisively above the washing machine with the cursed thing clutched tightly in his hands.

He even goes as far as putting it into the washing machine once before panic takes hold of him and he finds himself hurriedly jerking it back out and bringing it back to his room, to his bed and to the safety under his covers and he shoves into his face and breathes in its scent until his racing heart has calmed down, until his head becomes hazy and his breath starts speeding up for another reason entirely.

The scent won't last much longer he tells himself, and he is already so far down the rabbit hole at this point that a few more days won't hurt. Just a few more days and then he will wash it and bring it back and get his shit together.

Just a few more days, that’s all he is asking for and then he will come clean and everything will be fine.

Just a few more days.

Oikawa doesn’t even believe his own lies anymore, but he allows himself to be fooled anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Mellow_Chibi)
> 
> As always, thank you for all your lovely comments. I have been going through a rough patch of lately and they really do mean the world to mean and help me keep going an keep to the promised schedule.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Then why does it smell like you?” Iwaizumi asks and Oikawa flinches because he knows the answer to that all too well. It smells like him because Oikawa got himself off on multiple occasions with his nose buried in the sweaty fabric and Iwaizumi’s name on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, you read the chapter summary correct. It only took us half a year, 15 chapters and 80k words, but here we finally are with the one line that started this entire mess in the first place.
> 
> Enjoy. God knows that we all deserve it for making it this far.

Despite Oikawa’s promises to himself things do in fact not get better.

What does happen however is that Iwaizumi’s shirt starts to lose its scent, slowly but surely and Oikawa misses it something fiercely long before it’s even gone. And even when Iwaizumi returns to school after his rut has ended the alpha’s shirt is still hidden away in the depths of his wardrobe, stuffed inside a plastic bag for safe keeping in order to keep the last fleeting trails of the alpha’s scent safe for bad days to come.

There are many bad days to be had.

Things are tense between them in ways that even make Kyoutani furrow his brows during practice. Tenser than the time after Oikawa had suddenly burst into heat during school. Tenser than that one time when Iwaizumi had spent an entire week ignoring him after he had done something stupid that Oikawa can’t even remember anymore.

The air between them is heavy and rigid, saturated with unsaid words and Oikawa finds himself wondering over and over again if Iwaizumi somehow knows, only to firmly remind himself that Iwaizumi _can’t,_ because if he did Oikawa is sure that he would never hear the end of it.

Sometimes at night Oikawa finds himself thinking that he would rather have Iwaizumi yelling at him, telling him how pathetic and fucked up he is over this stale thing their friendship has become.

Nights like those Oikawa pads over to his wardrobe on quiet feet and collects the shirt that was the tipping point, the drop that made the bucket overflow, presses it to his face and fights the urge to cry.

There is no Iwa-chan waiting for him on the road connecting their houses in the mornings anymore, no more walks home together at dusk. No late night last minute studying and when the next match in the v-league is held Oikawa watches it alone in his room, curled up in his covers and with the alpha’s shirt pressed tightly to his chest.

And if their friends and families happen to notice, for once they seem to keep their mouths shut and stay out of their way for which Oikawa is thankful. It’s lonely and awful, an empty ache resting within him but he needs the space this respite has given him, the time. Needs to be able to take a step back and think, to be able to process things on his own terms.

The smell of Iwaizumi’s rut has kick-started something inside of him, something that wasn’t there before. Something dark and wanting and needy. An itch that he can’t quite explain but it’s there nonetheless- forever tugging, forever calling.

Coiling deeply inside the pits of his stomach, causing him to reach into his pants and cry out his shame into his pillows as he works himself to completion, one way or another.

He doesn’t even need the now disgusting training shirt pressed up against his face anymore for his brain to supply him with images of the alpha above him, below him. Tanned skin stretched taut over a muscular chest. Hair whose texture has become so familiar to him over the years that he doesn’t even need to close his eyes in order to imagine what it would feel like to have his fingers tangled in the black, short strands.

It takes him longer than it should to fully realize that it has always been Iwaizumi, one way or another as flashes of his fantasies over their years slowly start to meld together to a singular image- flashes of a deep green. An annoyed furrow somehow still full of concern. Hands that are rough yet gentle at the same time.

Pine, always the faint trace of pine running through the entirety of his life like a read thread.

Oikawa shoves his head into his pillow and screams.

It has always been Iwaizumi.

Back in school by some kind of silent agreement that Oikawa doesn’t want to think too deeply about they stay off each other's backs as much as possible. They rarely interact and when they do it’s almost like a dance, their anger and frustration clashing as it leaks through the cracked seams of what was once their friendship- something always on the tip of their tongues but never spoken out loud. Forced back and swallowed down at the last possible minute.

They don’t even touch anymore.

Oikawa doesn’t casually drape himself over Iwaizumi’s shoulders when the mode strikes and Iwaizumi keeps his hands to himself no matter how much Oikawa taunts and verbally pushes. And while Oikawa misses the affection there is also a part of him that believes that it might be for the best. 

There is always a small, tiny voice present in the back of his mind, whispering to him that if they were to actually touch again this slowly growing darkness within him would snap and spread out like tar as it toppled their entire world upside down and Oikawa is not sure he is ready for that, that either of them are.

Oikawa learns a lot about himself in the upcoming weeks, good things and bad.

New things and things that he has somehow always known but, never truly faced before.

It should probably surprise him more than it does that it’s Hanamaki that somehow ends up snapping first, his hip cocked to the side as he tells them to get their shit together with a flat, pointed stare as he claims that whatever the fuck they are fighting about this time around can’t be more important than their upcoming match.

Oikawa doesn’t know how to tell him that they are not even fighting in the first place.

With Iwaizumi not constantly somewhere in his close vicinity it doesn’t take long for the gossip to spread like wildfire throughout their school and once it does it takes even less time before Oikawa finds himself getting approached by other alphas again. It’s not doing much for him considering that his mind is somewhere else entirely but it’s still flattering, or at least _it should be_. Most of the time Oikawa just finds himself wishing that he was somewhere else entirely but he still always puts on his best smile whenever someone steps forward to greet him nonetheless.

They never make him uncomfortable and they never try anything. It never really goes beyond stopping him to smalltalk in the corridors and some shy little smiles and waves when their eyes happen to meet in the cafeteria. 

Iwaizumi doesn’t seem to take the shift in dynamics well. Oikawa can practically feel the alpha’s eyes bury into the back of his head whenever he interacts with someone else, can smell the sharpness to his friend’s scent miles away as it rolls off of him in angry waves.

It makes him feel petty, makes him reach out and brush his fingers along the arm of a flustered alpha only to have Iwaizumi bark out at him from the other end of the corridor that they are going to be late for practice. 

The small hope that the interactions light within him is quickly smothered once they are forced to work together, the ravine that has opened up between them sharp and never ending. The air between them is heavy with unsaid words and secrets, something electric and maybe a bit explosive laying in wait, wanting to snap and break loose, wreck havoc and Oikawa knows that by this point the question is not if someone of them will snap, but _who_ and _when._

It all reaches its boiling point about a week later when the air is chilly and the rain falls thick and heavy outside. Oikawa had forgotten his umbrella that morning and by the time that he had made it to the convenience store two blocks from school he is already drenched to the degree that there simply is no reason for him to cough up the money to get himself a new umbrella.

Iwaizumi probably remembered to bring his this morning, Oikawa finds himself thinking bitterly with a scoff as he shoves his hands in his pockets, hoping that it will keep them warm as he trudges forward, a sour expression plastered on his face. The inside of his pockets are as wet and gross as the rest of him but he stubbornly keeps his hands inside anyway.

By the time he gets home his body is screaming for warmth and he angrily kicks off his shoes and leaves the door unlocked behind him. The proper thing to do would probably be to wait around until Iwaizumi comes over after having grabbed his things like they had decided upon earlier that morning in gruff voices before heading their different ways but frankly, Oikawa is freezing at this point and he is pretty damn sure that Iwaizumi is able to find his way inside by himself.

And if he by some miracle doesn’t Oikawa is sure that the alpha will be just fine standing outside his front door with his stupid umbrella that he didn’t bother sharing. Karma and all that.

Yeah, that’s right. For some reason that Oikawa can’t quite fathom at this point Iwaizumi is coming over, which at this point is just adding another layer to Oikawa’s already foul mood because _apparently_ their parents had made the joint decision of taking a mini vacation somewhere together.

To be fair it’s not the first time that this has happened. Their families have been close long before he and Iwaizumi were even born, and Oikawa has a nagging feeling that it’s far from the last trip that their parents will be taking together. Which is fine, really. Good for them and all that. But he and Iwaizumi are also kind of still doing the entire not-fighting-but-kind-of-still-fighting thing and about the last thing that Oikawa wants to have to deal with about now is to be locked up in the same house as his friend for two whole days.

Not that he has a choice, their parents had been very clear on that point. They were supposed to stay together and that was final. If Oikawa didn’t know any better he would think that they had planned it.

Who the hell is he fooling, of course they had.

A part of Oikawa had wanted to lash out and yell at them to mind their own damn business when they had put down the rules- but that would mean admitting that he and Iwaizumi were in fact fighting-but-kind-of-not-fighting and with that came questions Oikawa didn’t want to answer so instead he simply shut his mouth and wished them a pleasant trip with a forced smile.

He knows that they mean well, but he also wishes that they would stop sticking their noses into things where they didn’t belong.

It’s like that one time when they had been younger and Oikawa had promptly refused to see Iwaizumi for about half a week's time after the alpha had released a bug and it had flown straight into Oikawa’s hair and ended up getting tangled up in it.

Oikawa remembers having both screamed and cried as Iwaizumi had tried to get it out but only succeeding in making it worse and in the end the alpha had had to drag a sobbing and close to hysterical Oikawa back home.

Oikawa himself hadn’t been very helpful, even with the soothing voice of his own mother trying to calm him down and in the end the female omega had deemed it a lost cause, fetched her scissors and abruptly cut it free because Oikawa hadn’t been able to sit still for even a second.

That day Oikawa had sworn on everything that was holy that he would never, _ever_ forgive Iwaizumi, nor talk to him for as long as he lived and he had done pretty well on his threat, as well as a six year old could that’s it. Even going as far as to slam the door in Iwaizumi’s face when he came to apologize, even going as far as making ugly faces and grimaces at him through the windows. 

So his mission to ignore his former friend had been going great.

And then one day his mother had called him downstairs for some cake that she had picked up in the store and Oikawa had happily skipped down the stairs two at a time, the sugary treat the only thing on on his mind- only for him to stop dead in his track once he caught sight of Iwaizumi and his mother sitting together at _their_ table.

The little omega had turned on his heels, fully intending to rush back up the stairs because _nope_ , Oikawa might love cake but he hated Iwaizumi for getting a bug in his hair and ruining it more, but his mother had been quicker, firmly placing herself between him and the stairs and gently ushering him to his seat.

It had been awkward but the cake had been delicious and Iwaizumi had even sneakily put his strawberry on Oikawa’s plate and the omega had pretended that he didn’t see and ate it even though he kind of did.

And then his mother had asked him if he would like to watch some TV even though they both knew that Oikawa hadn’t finished his homework quite yet and well, how could a six year old ever say no to that?

It had been easy to get them to make up back then. After all, they had been nothing but kids and easily swayed by a gentle push in the right direction and while Oikawa kind of wishes that their current issues could be magically solved with strawberry cake and promises of late night TV he also knows that things aren’t just that simple anymore. 

Now they have grown up and things are _complicated,_ and while a part of Oikawa knows that the two of them really do need to talk like the grown ups that they have become if they ever want to fix this- whatever _this is,_ but he also really, _really_ doesn’t want to either.

Avoiding is easier than being forced to stand face to face with the truth once this all starts to unravel one way or another and at this point Oikawa is not sure how to live his life without Iwaizumi in it anymore.

The water is warm nice against his freezing skin as he steps into the shower and for a brief moment it allows him to focus on something else than what the hell he is supposed to say to his so called friend once he comes over or if they are going to continue this game of cat and mouse even while locked up in the same house.

Maybe he will just tell Iwaizumi that he is exhausted and climb into his bed and pretend to be asleep for the upcoming forty or so hours.

For some reason he doubts that Iwaizumi will buy it.

Oikawa dries himself off and gets dressed once more and he is not exactly surprised to find Iwaizumi sitting on his chair as he steps back into his room. 

What certainly _does_ catch Oikawa off guard however is the turquoise t-shirt spread out on his desk next to the alpha and for a moment Oikawa is surprised when he realizes that he feels absolutely nothing as he lets his gaze drag up to Iwaizumi’s face with a slow blink because he is sure that he should at least be feeling _something._

Fear, panic- _anything,_ but all there is a strange empty feeling residing within him and a small voice going _ah, it finally happened_ in the back of his mind.

The alphas jaw is set in a firm line, something hard and determined in his eyes and for a moment they just stare at one another- and then everything comes crashing back like a punch to his gut, crushing him whole and making it hard if not impossible for him to breath.

Suddenly Oikawa gets the abrupt urge to laugh.

For some reason it feels like his entire life has been leading up to this point one way or another. By now Iwaizumi’s scent has followed him through the entirety of his life like a red thread, as if Oikawa has somehow been living in some kind of shitty romcom and of course it was always meant to end like this-, by Iwaizumi literally dragging his dirty little secret out of Oikawa’s wardrobe like the biggest and most fucked up coming out story the world has ever seen.

“We need to talk,” Iwaizumi says and Oikawa laughs then, something bitter and sad at the same time and through it all Iwaizumi’s gaze never wavers.

“No, we really don’t,” Oikawa finds himself replying because frankly, he really doesn’t want to. It’s not like Iwaizumi won’t be able to put one and one together with the evidence literally staring them both straight in the face anyway, so _what’s the point?_

“Explain.”

Oikawa can’t, even if he wanted to.

It’s been too long and by now he can’t even remember how or _when_ it even started anymore. A teddy bear what’s now a lifetime ago he thinks, and then it just grew and grew, took a twisted turn and turned something innocent into something dark. Turned young curiosity into want, into need and through it all Iwaizumi had stayed by his side as the two of them only grew closer over the years, inseparable until Oikawa somehow managed to fool himself into thinking that what he was doing was okay.

They both know why that t-shirt is here, knows who stole it and the fact that Iwaizumi is wanting to have a discussion about it at this point somehow makes Oikawa want to lie straight to the alpha’s face just out of pure spite.

“Oh,” he says, surprising even himself with how devoid of emotions his voice sounds as it drawls out of him. On the other hand he feels all but dead inside so maybe it’s not that surprising after all. “I found it awhile ago and I was going to give it back to you whenever, but it seems like you beat me to it huh?”

The lie comes surprisingly easy and he fires off a smile that doesn’t even come close to reaching his eyes and Iwaizumi buys none of it.

“Then why does it smell like you?” Iwaizumi asks and Oikawa flinches because he knows the answer to that all too well. It smells like him because Oikawa got himself off on multiple occasions with his nose buried in the sweaty fabric and Iwaizumi’s name on his lips.

Oikawa doesn’t reply and the silence grows heavy between them once more. Oikawa wants to run away. Turn around on his heel and disappear into the night and never return here ever again. 

He doesn’t know what to say, not anymore. He knows that there is no excuse for what he has been doing, has known all along- every time he pretended that it wasn’t his fault, every time that he told himself that he was just borrowing in, that it was just for now. That it was because of this or that, telling himself that he only took Iwaizumi’s things because this had all been out of his hands since the beginning.

It hadn’t been. Oikawa could have stopped. _Should_ have stopped _properly-_ not the half-assed excuses for attempts that he had pretended had been enough.

He just hadn’t wanted to.

It’s a realization that Oikawa has always kind of known but never has had the strength nor the will to face before. 

He still doesn’t. The difference is that when the facts are staring him in the face as they are in this very moment he doesn’t have much of a choice.

Oikawa had liked sleeping with the scent of Iwaizumi around him. Had enjoyed to dress himself in the alpha’s clothes and cuddle up under the covers, pretending that Iwaizumi was there with him even when he was not. Had allowed himself to get lost in the smell of Iwaizumi washing over him and keep him company during the lonely nights of his heat over and over again, knowing that that was the only way that he was ever going to get him. Knowing that Iwaizumi would never be his no matter how much he wishes for it.

Oikawa had come to terms with that fact a very long time ago and Iwaizumi scent just happened to be the next best thing from having the alpha himself.

Not that Oikawa can say any of that out loud with the alpha in question staring bitterly at him, so instead of following Iwaizumi’s prompt of explaining things Oikawa just silently returns the stare and stubbornly keeps his mouth shut because if Iwaizumi somehow believes that Oikawa is going to be the one to fold here, he is in for a surprise. Oikawa has been keeping this thing bottled up within him for _years_ already, so he is pretty damn sure that he can spend the entirety of this weekend staring Iwaizumi down if he so has to.

Maybe.

Probably.

There is an aggravated snarl from Iwaizumi at his silence, something frustrated as the alpha pulls a hand through his hair in exasperation but Oikawa is not even half as afraid of the alpha’s mood as he is of the words that might or might not come out when Iwaizumi gives him another dark glare before opening his mouth.

“I shouldn’t have scented that fucking thing so many years ago,” Iwaizumi bites out and there is something sharp and _cold_ gripping at Oikawa’s chest and then he is falling as if there all of a sudden was nothing but absolute darkness endlessly waiting for him underneath the sole of his feet.

“I-, _what_...?” Oikawa manages to get out because he had expected a lot of things. Had expected Iwaizumi to yell and scream at him. Call him gross and pathetic among other things. Swear and curse and tell Oikawa to never show himself in front of him ever again. But not this, whatever _this_ was.

Never this.

This wasn’t how things were supposed to go down.

“You heard me,” Iwaizumi says, his voice is firm and steady as he speaks, as bitter as it is. “I shouldn’t, but I did and here we fucking are.”

“I-,” Oikawa starts before taking a shuddering breath. His body is swaying and he needs to reach out and put his hand on the door frame to support himself from not toppling over. There is such absolute anger rolling off the other in thick and hateful waves but Oikawa realizes with a sudden moment of clarity that the anger is not directed at him but Iwaizumi himself.

“I-, I don’t understand.”

There is a snarl as Iwaizumi’s head jerks to the side, his gaze locking with Oikawa’s once more. The alpha’s eyes are practically burning with withheld anger at this point, inky dark and narrowed into tiny slits. There is such an utter hate and disgust reflected inside of them that Oikawa can’t do much else than take a stuttering step backwards from the sheer force of it.

“I was a fucking brat that’s what,” Iwaizumi spits out and Oikawa’s head is reeling, the room is spinning and in the middle of it, at the only fixed non-spinning point sits Iwaizumi, turning Oikawa’s entire world upside down. Years of confusion, years of pretending, but he hadn’t been the only one. “A fucking brat that got pissy about you admitting liking the way that chick smelled, whateverthe fuck her name was. A _fucking brat_ that felt like he had the right to scent that stupid fucking toy when you went to the fucking bathroom.”

“You scented it.” The words are out of his mouth before his brain has a chance to register them and it isn’t as much a question as it is a need for Oikawa torepeat it if he wants a chance at putting his currently shattered mind together again. 

There is a hateful noise from Iwaizumi and Oikawa watches as the alpha clutches his pants with his hands, his fingers digging into the flesh of his thighs so harshly that Oikawa fears that the fabric will break. _Don’t._

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi says, the bitterness all but dripping from his words. “I did.”

_Stop._

“It wasn’t fucking supposed to turn out this way I-, _fuck,_ ” the alpha continues before slamming his hand against the side of the desk and the shirt resting on top of it with such a force that Oikawa winces even from where he is standing almost ten meters away.

_Please._

_“_ I was just a _fucking kid_ Tooru. A fucking jealous kid that had no idea what the hell he was doing or the fucking consequence it would have.”

“Consequences,” Oikawa repeats back once more in a quiet, monotone voice because there is only one thing that Iwaizumi can mean with that. Something that very much has to do with the alpha’s shirt that is still on display, draped over Oikawa’s desk.

“Yes, consequences,” Iwaizumi bites back in anger, so much anger. In all these years Oikawa doesn’t think that he has ever seen Iwaizumi so utterly furious. It kind of hurts to watch, knowing where all that anger is aimed towards.

Oikawa takes a deep breath, steadying himself. “You knew.” 

He knows the answer to his own question before the words are even out of his mouth.

Iwaizumi had known. And for some reason Oikawa doesn’t feel fear at the prospect but relief. Like a weight he hadn’t known he had been carrying all these years had finally been lifted from his shoulders. Iwaizumi had known. Had knowingly let it happen all this time instead of putting a stop to it.

“Of course _I fucking knew_ ,” Iwaizumi spits out. “Did you honestly think that I wouldn’t fucking notice? That I wouldn’t fucking realize that my own fucking clothes would start to disappear and reappear whenever the fuck you had been over? It’s not like I had to be a fucking genius to be able to put two and two together, but I fucking started it now didn’t I, so what fucking right did I have to call you out on it? None, fucking _none_ that’s what.”

“And do you want to know the worst fucking part?” Iwaizumi continues and Oikawa feels like he is drowning just trying to keep up with the freely flowing stream of words thrown his way. 

“Some sick fucking part of me even liked it. Hell, I even scented and left that fucking sweater at your place once remember? I know that you found it because it was somehow magically back inside my wardrobe three weeks later.”

Oikawa does remember.

“I fucking _liked it_ Tooru,” Iwaizumi says again as he seemingly starts to deflate where he is sitting in the chair, one hand reaching up so he can bury his face in the palm of it. “How fucking messed up is that?”

Oikawa would argue that it is about as messed up as spending the last ten years or so of your life stealing your best friend’s clothes, but it’s hard to get his thoughts in order when the only thing his brain seems to be able to focus on is the fact that Iwaizumi is admitting to _liking it_.

“Iwa-chan-,” Oikawa starts but he stops himself when he sees how Iwaizumi’s entire body tenses up at the nickname, a dry laugh leaving the alpha’s lips.

“Don’t,” Iwaizumi says and Oikawa blinks. “Don’t call me that. Not anymore.”

“I kept telling myself that it was okay, that you would just grow out of it given enough time. That it would get better. But it isn’t getting better, now is it?” Iwaizumi says and Oikawa watches as the alpha lifts his face and trails his eyes over the shirt that started this entire confrontation in the first place. “It’s just getting worse. I kind of knew already but I just didn’t want to face it. But then you just fucking _had to_ go and steal this one didn’t you?”

“I am sorry,” Oikawa whispers because honestly he doesn’t know what else he can say at this point.

“No,” Iwaizumi says in a tone like he is carrying the whole world on his shoulders. “I am.”

There is something so very sad watching Iwaizumi in that moment, the alpha’s shoulders hunched over and his head lowered in shame as if Iwaizumi somehow truly believed that this was all really his fault. The other has always been a firm and steady presence in Oikawa’s life. Always there, always unwavering in his convictions and beliefs, in his support and seeing it all stripped away physically hurtsto see.

Oikawa takes one step and then another and it’s not before he sets down his foot a third time that Iwaizumi actually lifts his head to look at him tiredly. 

“Go away Tooru,” Iwaizumi says wearily and he looks so tired then- tired and beaten and awful and it tears at Oikawa from within, tugs at him and instead of walking away as Iwaizumi is telling him to he finds himself taking another step forward and then another. Iwaizumi has always been there for him whenever Oikawa has fallen, has always gathered him up and put him together. Given him something to lean on until he was ready to face the world on his own two legs once more and the absolute least Oikawa can do is to be there for him now.

“I said _go away_ ,” Iwaizumi repeats but Oikawa doesn’t listen to him. Instead he stubbornly closes the distance between the two of them one step at a time and once he is standing in front of the alpha he throws his arms around Iwaizumi’s head and pulls him flat against his chest.

Iwaizumi immediately tenses up in his arms and the alpha tries to say something against his shirt but it’s all muffled and intangible. That doesn’t matter though. What matters is that Iwaizumi doesn’t push him away and Oikawa keeps holding him close until he can finally feel alpha starting to relax against him.

It takes a while but then Iwaizumi’s legs shift next to him, slowly opening and creating a space that Oikawa eagerly steps into as large yet gentle hands are placed against his waist, pulling him close.

“Why do you never fucking listen,” Iwaizumi says but there is no anger in his voice anymore, just a heavy sense of weariness laced with exhaustion and resignation. And while that isn’t good either Oikawa still thinks that it’s better than the self-loathing from before.

“Because you are being an idiot,” Oikawa huffs back and Iwaizumi lets out a snort.

“ _You_ are an idiot,” Iwaizumi immediately counters. There is no real bite to his words but Oikawa pretends to be offended and gently flicks him on top of his head anyway. Iwaizumi lets out a surprised noise and then he is shifting backwards and Oikawa takes the opportunity to slide his hands along the sharp lines of Iwaizumi’s jaw until he is cupping the alpha’s face in his palms, making sure that the other can’t look away.

Iwaizumi looks so vulnerable right then, like the alpha has been rubbed raw after having finally been able to let out all the pent up anger and frustration that he has been carrying within himself for years.

Just like Oikawa has, he realizes.

There is so much Oikawa wants to say, so many thoughts swirling around inside his head that he doesn’t even know where to begin anymore. But he knows that he has to start _somewhere-_ so in the end he voices the only thing that has been on his mind during the entirety of Iwaizumi’s admission.

“I don’t mind.”

Oikawa watches as Iwaizumi takes a stuttering breath and closes his eyes, a furrow growing between his brows.

“ _Oikawa_ -”

“ _I don’t mind_ ,” Oikawa repeats once more, firmer this time as he cuts him off before Iwaizumi has a chance to finish his sentence. “If I had minded your scent we wouldn’t be here in the first place- now would we, Iwa-chan? If I did I would just have just asked my mom to wash the bear and that would have been it, problem solved before it had even begun, but _I didn’t_ , now did I?.”

“I liked it,” Oikawa admits quietly, echoing Iwaizumi’s own words from earlier. “I still do. That’s why I kept doing it,” Oikawa continues and it’s a relief to finally be able to say it out loud after all these years.

“Did you ever think about that, Iwa-chan? Do you honestly think that it has somehow been _easy_ for me to steal your clothes over and over again all this time?” Oikawa huffs. “There were so many close calls, so many times when I thought my heart would jump straight out of my chest whenever I wasn't quick enough- and yet I kept doing it because your scent alone was worth it.”

For a moment Iwaizumi doesn’t say anything, he just looks up at Oikawa like he is considering something but frankly, Oikawa has spent years keeping this all bottled up and at this point he is done with it.

“You are so stupid Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says as he cups his friends face tighter and leans down until he can feel Iwaizumi’s breath against his lips, warm and insistent and all Oikawa really has to do is to lean down a little bit more and he feels himself wet his lips in anticipation. “So very, very stupid.”

“Yeah well, you are gross,” Iwaizumi grunts and Oikawa feels his head jerks back at that, an affronted reply already on the tip of his tongue but then Iwaizumi is using the hand on his back to pull him close, and Oikawa doesn’t know how or when but then there is another hand tangled in his hair and Iwaizumi’s lips are somehow pressed against his own and oh.

_Oh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Mellow_Chibi)
> 
> So I know that I lot of you guys wanted some Iwa rut action, but sadly I couldn't make it work this time around without potentially ruining the build-up from the last 14 chapters. That doesn't mean that I am not reading your comments or listening. I really do take everything you tell me to heart.
> 
> That aside, as far as I know the only one that called the plot twist of Iwaizumi knowing from the beginning was Deveroo back in chapter 10 I believe (how did you even do that?) As promised, golden star for you ⭐
> 
> Come and yell at me in the comments.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow this chapter is almost 10k words and I have no idea how this happened, but it did.
> 
> Also, Aurii is the loveliest fucking person ever for betaing this for me with the shortest notice imaginable. I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done without her help.

As their lips connect Oikawa suddenly finds himself remembering that strangely enough this is not the first time that he has kissed the alpha.

In fact, he is pretty certain that it has happened once before. Back when they had still been young and after the two of them had just caught sight of Takeshi, Iwaizumi’s older brother making out with his current girlfriend on the Iwaizumi household’s couch.

The omega remembers that it had been a kind of awkward thing for two kids to catch sight of. Kissing was something that they had only seen other people do in the movies, or something that their parents would do occasionally to one another and even then it was just small little pecks in passing against each other's cheeks.

Oikawa got those too. In fact the omega got them all the time, both from his own mother as well as Iwaizumi’s, and he had always secretly enjoyed the omega’s affections towards him even if there were times when he pretended that he didn’t.

But this kissing that they had just caught Takeshi doing was different, it wasn’t small and fond little brushes of innocent endearment but something more, something they both instinctively knew that they shouldn't be seeing and that had made the two of them dart up to Iwaizumi’s room and close the door behind them with their cheeks ablaze even if neither of them was old enough to really understand why.

“The hell,” Iwaizumi had said and Oikawa couldn't do much more than to agree once they had settled down together on Iwaizumi’s floor, their gazes fixing on anything except one another. For some reason and even though Oikawa was more than used to the interior of the alpha’s room, this time the familiarity didn’t do anything to calm the weird and fast way that Oikawa’s heart was rushing away inside his chest.

“That looked _so gross_ , Iwa-chan,” Oikawa replied with a grimace and Iwaizumi huffed in agreement before pointedly looking away, his cheeks still showing a light flush of pink on top of his tanned skin.

“Why would he even do that?” the alpha pondered out loud as he leaned back against his bed and Oikawa shrugged his shoulders in response. 

“Well, Takeshi doesn’t do things he doesn’t like, so he must have his reasons for it, right?” Oikawa replied and it takes a moment for the omega’s words to fully sink in between them, but once they do neither of them can look the other in the eyes anymore, their gazes flickering through the room, the both of them unable to fix their gaze on anything for a longer period of time.

“So- eum,” Iwaizumi cleared his throat, eager to break through the awkward silence that had appeared between them but seemingly unsure how to do it and Oikawa pouted before allowing his gaze to turn downward, wringing his hands impatiently in his lap. There was a low rustling sound next to him and Oikawa threw a glance at the alpha from the corner of his eye, catching sight as his friend leaned back against the side of his bed with a huff- his eyes closed and face slightly tilted upward as the boy looked up at the ceiling with a heavy sigh.

“Wanna try it, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa was not completely sure what had come over him to cause him to even come up with that suggestion in the first place, but once the words had left his lips he suddenly realized that kissing Iwaizumi was something that he for some reason really, _really_ wanted to try, not that he for the life of him could understand _why_.

The alpha’s head quickly jerked to attention in response, his gaze flying towards the omega, dark and narrowed eyes fixing on Oikawa’s face with a deep furrow. “No!” Iwaizumi said with a scoff. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

That did however not deter the omega, few things ever did and Oikawa shifted beside his friend so that he was facing him before he folded his legs underneath himself and leaned forward into the alpha’s personal space, letting one of his hands come up to rest against his friend’s thigh which only caused Iwaizumi to try and shuffle away from him, only really managing to back himself further up against the bed that he was currently leaning against.

“Why not?” Oikawa pressed. “Maybe it’s great. After all Takeshi-nii sure seemed to like it.”

Iwaizumi scoffed at him and Oikawa watched with a tilt of his head as the boy’s gaze darted down to where Oikawa’s hand was resting against his thighs, a small flush creeping up over the alpha’s face. For a moment Oikawa thought that Iwaizumi would put his hands on his shoulders and shove him out of the way, yelling at him as he did but to the omega’s surprise Iwaizumi didn’t. Instead the alpha heaved a sigh, his brows pinched together in a slight grimace as he avoided Oikawa’s gaze, deflating slightly where he was sitting.

“Fine,” Iwaizumi finally said and if Oikawa’s heart hadn’t been beating harshly against his ribcage before it sure as hell was now.

“Okay,” Oikawa echoed, even though it had been his idea to begin with. His voice was coming out slightly breathless which was kind of weird and the omega couldn’t help but scrunch his nose at the way his own voice sounded. Iwaizumi didn’t say anything else and neither did he- instead they both just sat there for the longest of time waiting for the other to make the first move.

Of course neither of them did.

“Okay,” Oikawa repeated once more after what felt like an eternity later when his patience had run out altogether. He could hear the way his own heart was racing loudly in his ears as he lifted the hand that was currently not on Iwaizumi’s thighs and placed it against his friend’s cheek, forcing the boy to raise his head so that they could actually do the kissing thing.

Iwaizumi’s skin was both soft and warm against the palm of his hand, familiar. Safe. And as the omega looked at the other Oikawa realized that he couldn’t think of any other person that he would want to try this with, whatever _this_ was, than with the alpha currently sitting in front of him.

“Okay,” Oikawa said, more for his own sake than Iwaizumi’s, and then before he could think better of it he was leaning in and smushing his lips against the boy in front of him and squeezing his eyes shut.

Kissing Iwaizumi wasn’t really bad or anything Oikawa quickly came to realize, but it wasn’t like it was great either. Iwaizumi’s lips were just _there_ , warm and a bit chapped but like, more than that there was nothing special about this kissing thing. Not really.

In fact it was pretty boring if Oikawa was going to be completely honest and he leaned back with a disappointed huff and tilted his chin upwards as if the mundaneness of kissing his friend personally affronted him.

“That wasn’t very fun,” Oikawa concluded the moment after, looking down at Iwaizumi just as the alpha’s eyes slowly fluttered open. They looked a bit weird Oikawa realized, kind of like they did after they had taken a nap together or when they woke up in the morning after another one of their sleepovers- a bit cloudy and hazy. Glassy. A bit like Iwaizumi was not quite there but somehow there at the same time.

Not _bad_ weird or anything, in fact there was a weird and pleasing little feeling settling in the pit of his stomach at the sight that the omega couldn’t quite place as he allowed his gaze to travel across Iwaizumi’s face, hovering a bit over cheeks that were still painted in a light pink hue.

“Iwa-chan?”

The alpha jolted to attention at his words, green eyes blinking once and then twice before they turned clear once again and then Iwaizumi cleared his throat, the flush on his cheek only deepening. “Yeah,” the other replied before turning his gaze away once more.

Okay, so it might have turned out that kissing wasn’t very fun, but Iwaizumi’s reaction to it certainly was and Oikawa found himself licking his lips as he leaned forward once again, his curiosity peaked. “...but I guess that Takeshi-nii’s was more like-” the omega continued almost absentmindedly before he promptly pressed his lips against Iwaizumi’s again, taking the boy by surprise.

Still it was nothing compared to the reaction he got when Oikawa opened his mouth a little and let his tongue lick against his friend’s lips in the same way that he had seen the couple do on the couch earlier. Iwaizumi immediately jolted at the sensation, a weird and muffled noise leaving him and then his friend was shoving at his shoulders hard, toppling Oikawa over and sending him sprawled out over the floor but Oikawa didn’t even have the time to be upset about it with how red Iwaizumi’s face had gotten and the omega found himself bursting out in laughter over his friend’s pinched and bewildered expression.

“ _What the hell?!”_ Iwaizumi yelled at him as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and glared daggers at him- which in turn only caused Oikawa to laugh even harder, clutching desperately at his stomach as wave after wave of laughter washed over him and tears started to form in his eyes. “That was fucking _gross_ shittykawa. Never do that shit again,” Iwaizumi continued, angrily kicking at him with his feet when he realized that Oikawa was too busy laughing at him to reply.

“Okay,” Oikawa finally agreed once his laughter had finally subdued, wiping the tears that had started to gather in the corner of his eyes. “I won’t.”

_________________________

Oikawa quickly learns that kissing Iwaizumi now compared to when they were nothing but children is a lot different.

The alpha’s lips are still slightly chaffed, still a warm presence against Oikawa’s own but this time they cause a myriad of emotions to well up within him that hadn’t been there before.

Or maybe they had somehow always been there, lurking just underneath the surface and that he had just been too young or stupid to fully comprehend them.

Iwaizumi is broader now, rougher around the edges and there are no longer any traces of childhood to be found among the toned muscles Oikawa can feel lining Iwaizumi’s chest through the few layers of clothes separating them as their lips gently brush against one another. 

There is a small whimper leaving him, a prayer whispered out against the warmth that is Iwaizumi’s lips against his own as the alpha’s hand that had been previously loosely resting against his hip wraps itself around his back instead, holding him close.

 _Safe_.

Iwaizumi has always been like that though Oikawa knows. Familiar-, _sturdy_. Something for the omega to latch onto when needed, both mentally and physically.

Always next to him, by his side, always _there_ and Oikawa is suddenly reminded of that he loves the other wholeheartedly and unconditionally- _has_ loved him for such a long time that it doesn’t even surprise him when he learns that kissing Iwaizumi is nothing like the brief, stolen kisses that the omega has previously shared with others over the years while he had still been growing up. Back when he still hadn’t grasped the meaning behind the comfortable warmth that always seemed to settle inside his very bones whenever he had been in the presence of his friend.

When he had kissed others it had always been with their faces flustered over in embarrassment and with their equally racing hearts threatening to jump out of their chest, and while Oikawa would be lying if he were to claim that having his lips pressed up against Iwaizumi’s own did nothing to change the rhythm of his heart the difference was still like night and day to him.

Kissing Iwaizumi Oikawa thinks absentmindedly as he leans back to let out a soft pant before leaning back in is like coming home after having been away for a long time, surprisingly familiar- steady and warm. There is no butterflies doing somersaults inside the pit of his stomach like when he had been experimenting with kissing before, instead it brings to life a fire inside of him, burning both slowly and steadily and it’s with a small sense of wonder that Oikawa realizes that the kindling flames now spreading through him is not necessarily something new, but rather something that has _always been there_ , just outside of his reach much like the alpha himself always seemed to have been to him.

But not anymore. Because now Oikawa has Iwaizumi’s hand in his hair, the alpha holding him close as if he is afraid that Oikawa will somehow disappear into thin air if he lets go.

Not that Oikawa can say that he is much different with the way he is still verging on desperately cupping Iwaizumi’s face in his hands as their lips brush slowly and gently almost as if the two of them are unconsciously trying to map out one another, attempting to burn this moment and every single brush of skin into the back of their minds.

They break apart from one another with a soft pant, their breathing hot and warm as it mingles and intertwines and Oikawa lets out a soft noise when the alpha’s arms tighten their hold around him, keeping him close and Oikawa feels his eyes fluttering open with a soft, breathy laugh, feeling almost giddy. His vision is bleary, hazy and the only thing that he is able to make out is the deep green blur of Iwaizumi’s eyes in front of him.

It’s enough though, _more than enough_ because the way that Iwaizumi is currently looking at him is everything Oikawa has ever wished for and more.

Oikawa closes his eyes and leans forward, pressing their lips together again long before either of them has had sufficient time to properly catch their breath but that’s fine too, he thinks. Iwaizumi’s breath is ghosting across the lower half of his face, the feeling strangely pleasant and making the hairs on his skin stand up and causing goosebumps to travel across.

Warm. It’s all so warm. Not in the sweaty and unpleasant way that the sun in summer will roast you alive but like warmth underneath your blanket in winter, keeping you warm and cocooned and out of harm and the cold clutches of the chilly air.

“Oikawa.”

Oikawa can’t help the whine that escapes him when Iwaizumi utters his name even if he wants to. During all their years together the omega can’t recall a single time that the alpha has said his name with so much emotions, his voice raw and unrefined and Oikawa basks in it, presses their lips harder against one another and pushes himself further up against the alpha, trying to get closer.

There is a flare to Iwaizumi’s scent then, deep and musky. Not quite like the way Iwaizumi smells before his rut but _something else_ and Oikawa instantly decides that he likes it, that he wants more. _Craves_ it even. So when both of Iwaizumi's hands circle back down to his hips before gently tugging at him, urging him to come closer Oikawa lifts his legs, one after another and drapes them over the alpha’s thick thighs, lowering himself into Iwaizumi’s lap, straddling him as his arms circles the alpha’s neck.

“ _Iwa-chan,_ ” Oikawa mumbles back and there is a sharp inhale of breath and then Iwaizumi’s arms grip at his hips, moving him even closer until they are all but pressed up flush against one another and Oikawa lets out a soft noise that gets swallowed up by the alpha as the other kisses him again, Oikawa’s long fingers gently threading through the short strands of Iwaizumi’s hair.

Their bodies fit together almost like a puzzle, at least that’s what it feels like to the omega as the firmness of the alpha is surrounding him on all sides. The sturdiness of Iwaizumi’s chest in front of him- the way that the alpha’s muscular arms are now once more circling around his back and keeping them connected. It feels right, the two of them being like this, as if they had always supposed to be tangled up together, the alpha’s thighs supporting his weight as the alpha’s lips dancing against Oikawa’s own.

It’s so much and yet it's not nearly enough at the same time.

They break apart in sync, their breath mingling, warm and insistent and Oikawa licks at his lips before leaning in again, the wetness now coating their lips creating a different feeling as their mouths move against one another. It makes everything better, the slide of lips smoother and Oikawa lets out a strangled noise and digs his fingers into Iwaizumi’s scalp, pulling him impossibly close as the alpha uses his mouth to gently pry his own open, a request for more and Oikawa has to bite back a snort that halfway through turns into a whimper as the alpha’s tongue cautiously runs along his lip because he knows that he will gladly give in to whatever Iwaizumi might want.

The omega’s head is fuzzy yet strangely enough somehow clear at the same time as Iwaizumi licks into his mouth, a shudder raking its way through his body as the alpha’s tongue slowly brushes against his own. 

Oikawa learns that Iwaizumi tastes like the sun setting in summer- like the tinge in the air after a sudden downpour in spring and Oikawa didn’t know that you could miss something that you haven’t even tasted before, but he realizes that he has.

Warm _._ It’s all so _warm_ and Oikawa presses their bodies further together, panting softly as one of the alpha’s hands plays with the hem of his shirt, a single finger slipping underneath momentarily to brush against his heated skin before almost immediately withdrawing once again. The movement is hesitant, the alpha careful as to not cross any lines and Oikawa feels like his chest is about to burst from the emotions that he can feel in every single of the actions directed towards him.

It’s evident in the way what Iwaizumi’s scent is coiling around them, effectively creating a bubble where only the two of them exists, shielding them from the world outside and Oikawa never wants to leave.

“ _Please,_ ” Oikawa whispers the next time that their lips part for air, slowly grinding his hips into the alpha’s lap and reveling in the low, rumbling groan that Oikawa can feel against his own skin as if it is his own as it vibrates its way through Iwaizumi’s chest. He can feel the outline of the alpha’s now hardened cock pressing up against him from below, thick and warm and the omega lets out a low moan and grinds down on it again just as one of Iwaizumi’s hands finally slips underneath his shirt, his fingers splaying out across the omega’s skin as it moves upwards, causing his insides to feel like the slowly burning coals of a campfire.

Up and up the other’s fingers travel, dancing across his spine and Oikawa pants needily into the alpha’s mouth before arching his back and pressing his own hardening cock against the firm muscles of Iwaizumi’s abdomen. The alpha groans wetly against him in return before pulling his body closer to the alpha’s own, Iwaizumi’s other hand clutching at Oikawa’s hips before tugging at him gently in a silent request and the omega is all too happy to grind down on him again in response.

This time their shared moans are muffled by the kiss and then both of Iwaizumi’s hands have slipped under his shirt, exploring the expanse of his skin and Oikawa realizes that his insides feel like something akin to molten lava as the other’s hands alternate between mapping him out and pulling at him as if Iwaizumi can’t quite decide what he wants to do the most.

That’s okay though, Oikawa is not completely sure what he wants either except _more_ of whatever this all is, whatever he can get. They grind together again and again, until Oikawa’s head is spinning, until all he knows is the scent of pine in the air and the sound of Iwaizumi’s low and deep moans in his ear. Until all that matters are the hot, insistent lips moving against his own and the press of the alpha’s hardness pushing up against him and suddenly he _wants_.

Oikawa forces himself to break off the kiss, not missing the noise of complaint from the alpha as he lets his hands slip away from Iwaizumi's hair, nor the way that Iwaizumi’s unconsciously tightens his hold on him as he shifts in the alpha’s lap.

Iwaizumi’s pupils are blown wide, dilated to such an extent that Oikawa has a hard time even seeing the green of the others eyes. The alpha’s scent is _everywhere,_ creeping into every little nook and cranny of the omega’s room, coating his skin and all but drenching him in the smell of him. But as Oikawa lets his fingers dance across Iwaizumi’s face, his mind still caught somewhere in a daze, unable to fully comprehend the unexpected turn that things have taken after having his year long secret unveiled the omega also catches a whiff off his own scent as well, spreading out like a wildfire untamed, much like Iwaizumi’s own.

_Ah._

It mingles and convergences with the alpha’s own. Dances around and intertwines, melts together until it becomes something else entirely.

Oikawa’s breathing is nothing but harsh, strangled pants at this point but so is Iwaizumi’s, the alpha’s fingers digging into the skin of his waist almost painfully as the alpha looks up at him. There is a flicker of something hesitant there that makes Oikawa’s insides churn, but before Iwaizumi has a chance to voice whatever concern that has crossed his mind Oikawa is already dipping down, pressing his lips to Iwaizumi’s own once more and cutting the alpha off.

This time the brushes of their lips are more insistent, more searching and tinted with a quickly growing need. Fueled by what is now years of withheld want and desire and Oikawa wants, _needs_ and he lets his hands slip down along the fabric of Iwaizumi’s shirt, tugging at it just as a small whimper works its way up his throat.

Underneath him Iwaizumi groans and then the alpha’s hands skim back up the length of his spine again, the others fingers all but lighting Oikawa’s skin on fire wherever they go. The fabric is bouncing up around Iwaizumi’s hands and suddenly the feeling of wearing too many layers of fabric is sharp and overwhelming and Oikawa lets out a frustrated nose and leans back, breaking off the kiss in favor of wringing his shirt over his head.

Underneath him Iwaizumi lets out a low grunt and Oikawa almost doesn’t have the time to drop the piece of fabric to the floor before the alpha’s rough hands are already gripping at him and pulling him flush against his broad chest and oh, there is a flare to Iwaizumi’s scent now, something heady and slightly spicy that causes Oikawa’s head to spin and his legs grow weak as Iwaizumi grinds their groins together, the man’s fingers digging into his hips by the force of it.

Oikawa’s surprised whelp dies on his lips and quickly turns into a strangled moan as Iwaizumi bends down towards his neck and the unmistakable feeling of something hot and wet presses softly against his skin as the alpha starts to trail open mouthed kisses just underneath his jaw, down his skin and Oikawa helplessly tangles his trembling fingers in the others short strands.

Iwaizumi breath is warm and heavy as he noses gently along the omega’s neck before the inhaling deeply, his hands tightening their hold before the other grinds his cock up against him and Oikawa finds himself helplessly letting out a strangled sob and pressing the alpha’s head closer, feeling small and overwhelmed at the same time.

Oikawa wants to say something, _anything_.

Wants to try to put into words all the feelings that are currently rushing through him, seemingly burning him alive from the inside out. Wants Iwaizumi to know just how much he is making him feel from just so little.

Wants to know what this all means for the two of them even as there is another part of him that is terrified that if he does speak up this reality, this dreamlike state that he is currently in and experiencing will shatter and come raining down against the wooden floor of his room in a smatter of broken glass and shards- and the only thing that will remain in its wake is two people having been made strangers and the leftover pieces of Oikawa’s broken heart.

So Oikawa remains silent, buries his fingers further into Iwaizumi’s hair and presses the alpha’s head further against the skin of his neck as he gently rocks their hips together. There is a faint, tentative lick against his scent gland that has the omega inside of him crying out loudly, Oikawa’s arms wrapping tighter around the alpha’s neck and why such a simple thing feels as good as it does is completely beyond him, but Oikawa never wants it to stop, not now, not ever and he whimpers and tries to pull the other closer, uncounciously stretching his neck to give the other better access.

Underneath him Iwaizumi groans in response, the alpha’s hips jerking and then thrusting up into him yet again and Oikawa lets his eyes flutter close, allows himself to get lost in the moment, the heat of Iwaizumi’s body flush against his own and the outline of the alpha’s hard cock digging into him from underneath.

Even in the midst of the omega’s own heats-, even with his own fingers curled up deep inside of him, drawing one orgasm out of his body after another and with the fabric of Iwaizumi’s clothes pressed up against his nose Oikawa can’t seem to recall a single time that anything has ever felt as good as everything does in this moment, even though they are doing nothing but kissing and tightly holding onto one another.

It makes him wonder how good it would feel to do other things, to not only be curled up in the alpha’s lap as they grind needily and desperately against one another but how it would be to be sprawled out on the bed with Iwaizumi hovering above him, what it would feel like to have the alpha’s much broader and muscular body box him in and make him feel safe. The heat of the others body almost scorching his bare skin as their bodies press tightly against one another.

Oikawa moans at the notion and grinds his hips into Iwaizumi again and again, panting softly as the spikes of pleasure rush through his body. At this point Oikawa doesn’t think that he would be able to stop even if he wanted to.

“ _Iwa-chan_ -”

Oikawa doesn’t even recognize his own voice anymore as the alpha’s name rolls off his lips, but there is not really any time for him to dwell on it further as Iwaizumi grunts and gently nudges Oikawa’s body backwards in his lap and the omega lets out a low, strangled noise in complaint, his fingers instinctively moving to clutch onto the first best thing that they can get a hold of which happens to be the fabric of Iwaizumi’s shirt in order to keep the other close, even for just a second longer.

Iwaizumi scoffs at his action before wordlessly taking Oikawa’s hand into his own with a small frown on his face and Oikawa watches with a slow, confused blink as the alpha gently pries the fabric from his trembling fingers and for a moment there is a flicker of anxiety working its way up his throat. But just when it feels like the dam is about to burst, Iwaizumi's hands move down his own body, thick and tan fingers curling around the hem of the alpha’s own shirt and _oh_.

Oikawa swallows thickly as Iwaizumi slowly peels the shirt off his body, the well-defined and muscular expanse of his abdomen followed by the alpha’s chest slowly being revealed as the fabric is lifted an inch at a time and Oikawa follows the way Iwaizumi’s shirt continues to rise upward, his eyes all but glued to the others skin.

Between their uncountable morning and afternoon practices, over all the matches and sleepovers that have taken place over the years seeing Iwaizumi without clothes is not exactly something that Oikawa is a stranger to but right now, with the expanse of the alpha’s tanned skin seemingly stretching out endlessly in front of him it somehow feels like he is seeing it for the first time nonetheless.

Oikawa silently puts one of his hands against the alpha’s chest, the heat of Iwaizumi’s body almost scorching him, his fingers trembling as they make contact with the other's bare skin.

Oikawa has seen the way that Iwaizumi’s body has changed over the years first hand, has seen him grow up from a scrawny little kid- all sharp angles and limbs full of bruises as the alpha’s form settled into the body of a teenager and then an adult. His skin growing taut as his body turned broader and filled out with muscles in a way that Oikawa’s own never did.

But Oikawa’s body had changed too, had become limber and leaner over the years. The muscles that he had gained from hours upon hours of refining his skills in the gym settling differently on his frame compared to Iwaizumi, giving him a different kind of strength.

They had both changed from the kids that they had been. Both mentally and physically as they had grown up together, side by side and while he had noticed the changes to Iwaizumi’s body he hadn’t really paid them any mind either. It was not like Oikawa hadn’t known that it was going to happen anyway, they were both steadily and slowly growing up and turning into the adults that they were supposed to become, and the changes to the alpha’s body had been nothing but another step in that direction to him.

But now, having Iwaizumi tug his shirt over his head in front of him in the confinement of Oikawa’s room while the omega himself is all but perched on the alpha’s lap, his breath heavy and insides smoldering with an all too familiar heat burning inside of him it is a completely different story altogether compared to the fleeting glimpses that Oikawa has caught of the other over the years. This is all uncharted territory and Oikawa realizes that it’s somehow both terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

Iwaizumi places his hand over the one that Oikawa has pressed against his chest and the omega’s eyes are involuntarily drawn to where they connect. The alpha’s hand is dwarfing his own in comparison and he lets his gaze flick up to meet Iwaizumi’s own. There is concern there, the beginning of a furrow between Iwaizumi’s brows and Oikawa realizes that the alpha must have taken the trembling of his fingers against his skin as a sign of something bad.

“Are you-, is this okay?” Iwaizumi asks him hesitantly as he gently squeezes Oikawa’s hand with his own, larger one. ”If not that’s fine too. It’s not like we have to do anything here, alright?” Iwaizumi tells him. “With how many years this shit has been going I couldn’t care less about waiting if I so wanted to.”

Oikawa stifles a snort before shaking his head softly, something warm spreading through his insides as he reaches up with his free to gently cup Iwaizumi’s face. “Well, maybe _I_ care,” Oikawa counters, feeling a slow grin tugging at the corner of his lip. “I will let you know that I have gotten pretty fed up with this entire waiting thing, really.”

Iwaizumi laughs and normally Oikawa would probably take offense at being laughed at while he is half undressed and about to do God knows what, but this is _Iwaizumi_ , and they are both so stupid, they have both been waiting for such a ridiculously long time and there is no mirth or even glee to be found in the alpha’s voice, only warmth.

“Yeah?” Iwaizumi asks with a hum, his arms moving down to drape around Oikawa’s waist and pulling him close, one of his eyebrow arched and green eyes seemingly filled with something fond as he looks up at him as if Oikawa is something precious that makes the omega’s chest clench and his breath stutter in his throat.

“Yeah,” Oikawa echoes before leaning forward until their lips are almost brushing once more. “I want this,” he murmurs lowly, his voice barely above a whisper. “For the longest of time-, before I even knew that I did, probably.” There is a sharp inhale from Iwaizumi that goes straight to the pit of Oikawa’s stomach, the sound alone making his blood boil with heat and want.

Oikawa licks at his lips, feeling his own eyes grow half-lidded. “So whatever you want Iwa-chan. However you want it. _Please_.”

“ _Fuck.”_ The growl that Iwaizumi lets out sounds both strangled and broken at the same time and there is a small part of Oikawa that wants to feel smug about that, all things considered but it’s also kind of hard to feel smug about anything when Iwaizumi tightens his hold around him and slots his lips over Oikawa’s own with such a force that the omega forgets how to breathe altogether.

Oikawa quickly gets lost in the steady rhythm of taking and giving once again. It’s hard not to when Iwaizumi’s mouth is hot and insistent against his own, hard to think about anything else than the heat of their bare skin sliding together with every slow grind of their bodies.

Heat is building between them at an alarming rate, and if it was anyone else than Iwaizumi next to him- _under him_ the pace that things were going at would probably frighten him, at least a little but at the moment all that the current pace is doing is making him feel wanted in a nice, comforting way.

Iwaizumi might have made it clear that it was fine for them to not rush things, fine for them to take their time. That the alpha wasn’t planning on going anywhere and that they had all the time in the world but even then Oikawa can feel his entire body crying out with the desperate need to _burn._

The outline of Iwaizumi’s cock is hard and firm underneath him as it presses thickly up against where Oikawa needs it the most- _has_ needed it for what feels like an eternity at this point and he whimpers and grinds himself further down on the alpha’s lap, moans as Iwaizumi’s fingers dig into the flesh above his hip bones and meeting the his movement halfway.

It’s uncoordinated and messy and yet it’s all that Oikawa has ever wanted and more at the same time. His underwear is most likely a wet, disgusting mess at this point but it's hard to care about that when everything else feels so right. Hard to care about anything except the alpha’s harsh and heavy breathing mingling with Oikawa’s own.

They will take their time later he thinks, but for now the only thing mattering is this, Iwaizumi’s scent encasing them as the alpha grinds up into him and Oikawa wraps his arms tighter around Iwaizumi’s neck, clinging to him as if he is a rock in a storm as he lets go of what is now years upon years of pent up emotions finally is allowed to flow free.

It feels like he is floating, as if his body weighs close to nothing as the pleasure climbs and climbs as they move, leaving his head spinning and reeling with the force of it.

It’s too much Oikawa thinks to himself in his haze. It’s all much too soon, heat already coiling low and dark in the pit of his stomach. There is a moan rolling off of his lips at an especially harsh thrust, his fingers clutching at the alpha’s hair and Iwaizumi replies in kind, his voice a deep, rumbling vibration as it moves through his chest. Oikawa thinks that he can hear his own name in there somewhere, but then there is a sudden surge of pleasure that catches him off guard before he can be completely sure. The omega finds himself breaking off the kiss with a low cry before burying his face in Iwaizumi’s neck as he slumps forward and then he is falling, tipping over the edge as he grinds down on Iwaizumi one last time, riding out his orgasm before falling limp against the alpha’s chest, the blood rushing in his ears and chest heaving.

There is a moan breathed out against his ear that is quickly followed by a powerful thrust against him that leaves him wanting even though he just came. He can feel Iwaizumi’s cock twitch and swell below him as the other follows, the alpha’s strong hands digging into the flesh of his hips hard enough to bruise his skin and Oikawa is surprised to find himself not worrying about it, but rather hoping that it does.

For some reason that Oikawa doesn’t fully comprehend, his mind still somewhere in the midst of his post orgasm haze having Iwaizumi come because of him, _with him_ makes his breath break on a sob. There is an imminent wave of relief there, the never ending, the ever present guilt that Oikawa has carried within himself for these last couple of days, _years_ even finally dislodging from his chest and melting away to the sound of Iwaizumi’s heart beating steadily against his ear.

He knows that things are not magically going to be fine, that they have more things to work through than he cares to count at the moment if any of this is ever going to work and he lets his eyes flutter close as the first tear falls down his cheek, feeling overwhelmed and small.

It’s not okay, things between them, what he has spent these last years doing- not yet. But as Iwaizumi quietly tightens his arms around him in a silent understanding before pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head Oikawa thinks that it might be one day, given enough time.

Oikawa doesn’t know how long they stay like that, with him softly crying against Iwaizumi’s bare chest but the alpha never stresses him, never pushes. Instead Iwaizumi just noses gently against Oikawa’s hair and holds him quietly without saying anything, his actions speaking more than his words and his scent carrying a calming tinge of the forest after a downpour, silently telling him that it’s okay, that he is here for him and Oikawa can’t help but feel that he is falling for him all over again, as stupid as it sounds.

It feels like it takes forever until his eyes finally dry up and Oikawa is left feeling both drained and raw. Iwaizumi quietly gathers him up in his arms and the omega finds himself burying his face in the crook of the alpha’s neck as Iwaizumi carries him across the room and carefully puts him down on top of his bed. 

Sighing Oikawa rubs at his tired eyes with the heel of his hand, knowing that they are probably both red and puffy as Iwaizumi slowly pries Oikawa’s arms away from the alpha’s neck. For a brief second there is a small sense of panic washing over him but he forces himself to swallow it down as Iwaizumi steps away from him before walking over to his wardrobe and Oikawa watches as the alpha pulls out a pair of underwear before wordlessly dropping them into Oikawa’s lap and the omega clutches them in his hand as Iwaizumi moves past him to bend down to rummage around in his bag for another clean pair, this time for himself.

They change in silence, Oikawa using his old, dirty pair to clean up the worst of the mess between his legs before discarding it on the floor before he glances over towards the alpha just in time to catch him pull his own up over his waist and the omega swallows past the lump that is quickly forming in the back of his throat as Iwaizumi turns around to face him, quickly averting his eyes when he catches him staring.

 _And now what?_ Oikawa finds himself thinking, because without the surge of heady want coursing through his body and with the fog in his mind starting to clear the reality of what had just happened is suddenly all too real and terrifying.

He- no, _they_.

Shit.

_Shitshitshit._

Oikawa can’t even remember which one of them that had initiated the kiss anymore, if it was him or Iwaizumi that ground their hips into the other first. It’s all just flashes of green eyes and black hair in his mind at this point, brushes of tan skin against his own coupled together with the memories of pleasure rippling across his skin and the steady, heavy smell of pine in the air.

“Stop that shit.” There is a sudden pinch of pain spreading across his forehead and Oikawa’s hands shoot up to cover the spot on reflex alone as he blinks up at Iwaizumi in confusion just as the alpha withdraws his hand after having flicked him across his forehead. 

Iwaizumi’s brows are pulled together in the shape of a deep frown as he stares down at him from his position and Oikawa finds himself blinking again, just for good measure. “You- you hit me...?” he asks in something close to disbelief. “We just-, and you just _hit me_?”

Iwaizumi just rolls his eyes at him. “If you are somehow stupid enough to count that as ‘hitting _’_ , sure,” the alpha tells him before continuing, “-and I will do it again the moment you start over thinking shit again. Now scoot.”

Oikawa blinks, still feeling slightly bewildered but he does as the other tells him to, slowly shuffling back on the the bed to make space for him and unconsciously following the way that the mattress gently dips down when Iwaizumi joins him from the corner of his eye.

“How are you feeling?” Iwaizumi asks him and the question catches him off guard and the omega feels his eyes flick back up to Iwaizumi’s face, drawn in by his voice. 

“I-,” Oikawa tries before swallowing thickly, his eyes flutter close and then open again as he tries to gather his thoughts.

Iwaizumi is studying him quietly, but strangely enough it doesn’t really make him feel uncomfortable to have the alpha’s eyes on him like this. There is concern in the alpha’s gaze, concern for _him_ and the thought of it is making him feel both warm inside and cared for.

“I am fine,” Oikawa mumbles, his own voice sounding strangely raspy to his own ears as he forces the words out of his mouth. Iwaizumi frowns lightly at him but doesn't press him further, instead the alpha reaches over with a hand to brush some loose strands of hair out of his face and Oikawa finds himself unconsciously leaning into the touch.

“Yeah?”

“Mm,” Oikawa hums softly, trying to stifle the beginning of a yawn. Now when there isn’t any adrenaline to keep him on his toes anymore there is a tiredness that is slowly sneaking up on him. “It’s just- I don’t know,” he tries. “-a lot, I guess?”

Iwaizumi gives him a slow nod, as if he is turning Oikawa’s words over inside his head. “Yeah, I guess it is, huh?” the alpha agrees before throwing Oikawa a tentative glance “Do you regret it, then?” 

Oikawa lets out a sound that is something between a huff and a snort and shakes his head. The palm of Iwaizumi’s hand is still pressed up against his face and the omega relishes the feeling of the rough skin brushing across his cheek and he nuzzles up against it slightly just to feel it again as the memories from earlier wash over him when that very same hand had been moving across his skin, fingers digging into the flesh of his hips and holding him close. The heat of their bodies, pressed flush against one another and the taste of the alpha on his tongue as their lips brushed, spikes of pleasure running up his spine.

“No,” Oikawa says, because despite the earlier flare of anxiety that he had experienced when he had first come down from his high he doesn’t, not by a long shot. “What about you? Do you regret it, Iwa-chan?”

Iwaizumi huffs before gently tugging at a strand of his hair, loosely enough for it to not hurt but still hard enough to cause Oikawa to let out a whelp. “Don’t make me hit you,” Iwaizumi warns him, but there is no real bite to his words and Oikawa lets out a soft laugh in response.

“You are always such a brute, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa grins, causing Iwaizumi to run his hand through the omega’s hair and deliberately messing it up with a huff. “See?” Oikawa pouts at him while he lifts his hand to halfheartedly swat at the alpha’s own. If he is going to be completely honest with himself it’s actually kind of nice, having Iwaizumi’s hands card through his hair like this, not that Oikawa would ever admit to it out loud, not right now at least. “The absolute worst.”

“And you never shut up,” Iwaizumi counters, but there is the beginning of a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips as the alpha runs his hand through his hair once again, this time gently coaxing it back into place in what Oikawa takes as a silent apology for having messed it up in the first place.

Well, as well as Iwaizumi is able to Oikawa thinks because taking into consideration what they had just done, how desperately Iwaizumi had buried his fingers in his hair the omega has a feeling that his hair is pretty much a lost cause at this point, but he appreciates the gesture nonetheless and he leans into the caress with a small and soft sigh. “So now what, Iwa-chan,” he mumbles softly, feeling the way the alpha’s hand tenses up in his hair for a moment before falling away.

“I don’t know,” Iwaizumi admits quietly. “It’s not like this is how I expected things to go when I dragged that thing out of your wardrobe in the first place, you know.”

Oikawa lets out a huff.

“Did you mother never teach you that it’s rude to snoop around other people's belongings?” Oikawa asks as his gaze involuntarily flickers over to the shirt in question, still placed on top of his desk with a sinking feeling appearing in the pit of his stomach as the omega is suddenly reminded of how they ended up here in the first place.

“Did your mother never teach you to not steal things?” Iwaizumi counters with a roll of his eyes and Oikawa meets his gaze for a moment before averting it once again, deciding on tucking his legs underneath him so he has something else to focus on than the man in front of him.

“I was gonna give it back,” Oikawa argues weekly, fully aware of how stupid his reasoning sounds even to his own ears. “It only counts as stealing if I was planning on keeping it, which I wasn’t.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, you said that _you liked it_ , didn’t you?!” Oikawa replies, feeling himself growing increasingly frustrated with the situation and knowing that his exasperation is more than likely being reflected in his voice. “Or what Iwa-chan, are you _hmpf_ -”

Suddenly there is a large hand cupping his face and rough, but warm lips pressing firmly against his own, effectively cutting him off. And despite telling himself that he won't fall for it, that he won’t give in so easily Oikawa can feel himself growing slack in the others hold as Iwaizumi kisses him deeply.

Time passes slow and fast at the same time, and it’s first when the alpha pulls away to rest their foreheads together that Oikawa realizes that his hands are somehow back in the spiky mess that is Iwaizumi’s hair.

“I liked it,” Iwaizumi confirms, his breath ghosting across the lower part of his face. “Just like I liked scenting you all those times before your heat, sometimes going as far as allowing myself to pretend that it was because you were _mine_ and not out of necessity,” Iwaizumi tells him and Oikawa closes his eyes and bites back a whimper, forcing himself to hold back the ‘ _yours’_ that is resting on the tip of his tongue, ready and wanting to slip out between the gap of his lips. “I always wondered if you nested like that,” Iwaizumi continues in a low voice. “-drenched in my scent and pretending that I was there with you when you were too far gone to show up at school anymore.”

This time Oikawa does whimper, a pathetic little sound that works his way up the back of his throat as Iwaizumi’s fingers tighten in his hair, pressing their faces even closer. ”-did you?”

Iwaizumi sounds about as breathless as Oikawa feels and the omega swallows thickly and forces himself to nod, not trusting his voice at the moment. In front of him Iwaizumi swears and then suddenly the world is spinning around him and it takes Oikawa a second longer to realize that he is falling as Iwaizumi pulls them both down on the bed.

He lands on top of the other with a small yelp, ending up sprawled out across Iwaizumi’s broad chest. But before Oikawa has the chance to fully catch his bearings Iwaizumi has grabbed the back of his head and is pressing it to the crock of his own neck, his other arm coming up to wrap itself safely around his back as the alpha presses a kiss to the top of his head.

“I like you, idiot,” Iwaizumi mutters out against his hair and Oikawa’s body tenses up in response, his own heartbeat matching the erratic rhythm of Iwaizumi’s own that he can feel beating from where the palm of his hand is resting against the alpha’s chest. “You’re annoying as hell and a goddamn pain in the ass, but for some stupid ass reason I do.”

Oikawa feels himself choking on something that is half a sob, half laughter because leave it to Iwaizumi to say it so straightly, like it was somehow that easy. Like Oikawa hadn’t spent _years_ of his life pathetically pining after the man in front of him, not even as much as daring to hope that his feelings might be reciprocated.

Oikawa is going to need a moment.

Or more likely he is going to need _several moments_ if he ever hopes to sort out the mess of thoughts currently running amok in his head.

 _I like you_.

“What the hell, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whines before shoving at the alpha’s shoulder which only makes Iwaizumi tighten his hold around him further with a low grunt. “That’s got to be like the worst confession ever. What the hell?”

Iwaizumi scoffs underneath him before rolling them over, gently nudging Oikawa to his side so they are laying face to face instead, a small furrow present between the others brows as he studies Oikawa’s face silently in the quickly dimming light of his bedroom room.

It’s getting late, Oikawa realizes and then he finds himself laughing once again, finding amusement over the fact that he cares about what time of the day it is when his entire world has been all but flipped upside down.

“So now what?” Iwaizumi asks him when another moment has passed, either intentionally or unintentionally mirroring Oikawa’s own words from before, causing the omega to let out huff.

“No,” Oikawa says.

“...no?” Iwaizumi repeats slowly, a slight furrow appearing between his brows. “’No’ what, Oikawa?”

“I simply refuse to accept such a shitty confession Iwa-chan,” Oikawa declares before reaching over to tap one of his fingers against the tip of the alpha’s nose. “It’s not happening. Seriously, what is wrong with you? What even was that? No wonder your love life up to this point has been disastrous at best.”

In front of him Iwaizumi huffs. “You are such a piece of shit,” he says, but there is a fond smile tugging at the corner of his lips and a small, almost invisible crinkle forming in the corner of his eyes that Oikawa only catches because he knows how to look for it, after all these years.

 _I’m your piece of shit_ , Oikawa thinks quietly to himself, and it’s first when Iwaizumi scoffs out an annoyed ‘ _what’_ , that the omega realizes the soft smile that the thought has brought to his face.

“Nothing, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa hums only to have the alpha roll his eyes at him once again.

“Whatever,” Iwaizumi grunts before shifting as if he is intending to move away from him, but before the alpha has the chance Oikawa reaches out and places a hand on his face, stopping him, grinning as Iwaizumi gives him a cautious glance.

“Don’t worry though. I’m feeling extra generous today so I am gonna give you another chance to do it properly.”

“Go to hell.”

Oikawa laughs softly, his fingers dancing gently across the others cheek, feeling both warm and giddy inside and so _full_ of emotions that he feels like he is about to burst.

“I like you too, Iwa-chan,” he mumbles softly, and it surprises him how easily the words slip out, how strangely normal it feels for him to say them and he finds himself wondering if it had really been this easy all along, just three simple words and as he blinks up at Iwaizumi under his lashes, meeting the alpha’s gaze he can’t help but wonder how much suffering they could have avoided if either of them had just dared to take the plunge into the unknown.

______________________

Oikawa’s body feels heavy, but in a good, satisfying way as the omega momentarily wakes up from his slumber hours later. It’s all slightly fuzzy to him still, but he remembers them having kissed some more, unhurriedly as their hands had run across each other's skin, gently exploring what they up until this point had only been able to watch from a distance under the safety of Oikawa’s cover.

There had been words softly whispered to one another as the light outside grew darker and darker, smiles shared until they had both fallen asleep together, wrapped up in each other’s arms.

Oikawa hesitantly cracks an eye open and lets it wander across the dimness of his room. He has no idea what time it is, but it’s still dark outside and he can only faintly make out the shapes of his furniture if he narrows his eyes enough. A part of him even thinks that he can only see it because he knows that they are there.

His head feels clearer now, less hazy, less rubbed raw. There is a warmth pressed up behind him- _Iwaizumi_ , he realizes, and something that he assumes to be the alpha’s arm draped protectively around his waist and for some reason it makes his breath catch in his throat.

The heat of the other's body against his own and the smell of pine in the air. The weight of the other's body, the steady rhythm of his breathing, every exhale tickling against the shorter strands of Oikawa’s neck.

It’s all so very real for some reason, more real than before now when he has had the time to sleep for a bit and let his mind recover. 

It’s _real_ and warm and nice and Oikawa doesn’t think that he has ever been as happy as he feels at this moment.

He shifts a bit, trying to roll over as he silently wonders if he can catch a sight of the alpha’s sleeping face if he is careful enough but he has hardly had the time to start shuffling before Iwaizumi lets out a grunt behind him, tightening his hold around his waist and pulling him flush against his chest. Oikawa feels his eyes widen, a light flush spreading across his cheeks.

Oh. There is a different kind of warmth rushing through his body now, and it only grows in intensity as Iwaizumi lets out a soft, satisfied sigh and gently runs his nose through his hair before stilling once more.

Oikawa is suddenly so very happy that Iwaizumi is asleep so he can’t tease him about the blush that he can feel spreading rapidly across his skin and he carefully brings his hand down to interlace his fingers with the alpha’s own.

Oikawa doesn’t know what this all means, or what will change come morning when it’s no longer just the two of them in the safety of his own room, but also the reality of the world outside of these four walls surrounding them.

That’s for later though. For now Oikawa is more than content to stay like this, with Iwaizumi’s breath tickling his neck, slowly lulling him back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you guys might have noticed, as we move closer and closer to the finale these chapters have become increasingly longer and longer, this chapter alone was pretty much the size of two chapters- and that together with the fact that like I previously mentioned am currently dealing with some issues privately there is a possibility that the next chapter will be delayed.
> 
> Of course I will do my very best to get it done in time for the bi-weekly update, but since it’s the last chapter and since I desperately want to give this story the proper end that it deserves instead of just throwing something together out of necessity I have decided to give myself some leeway.
> 
> If it gets delayed I’ll make sure to keep my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Mellow_Chibi) updated with the necessary information.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and joining me on this journey. If you have a moment to spare it would mean the world to me if you shared your thoughts on this story with me. It’s been a rough couple of weeks, months, but knowing that there are people out there that enjoy this story has really helped me to keep my motivation to write up in the mess my life currently has become. 
> 
> So yeah, let's all make the next (and last -sobs-) chapter the best it can be. God I can’t believe this thing is actually ending, after all this time and I am still not completely sure how I feel about that, even if I have some other things lined up for the future.
> 
> But more of that another time. I hope you all have a lovely weekend and I hope to see you all in two weeks time, and if not, I promise you I am doing my best to get the next update to you as soon as possible.


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